TDA3 stories are put here to prevent lag on the main page.
Week 1 Stories
Total Drama Action Episode 14: Miracle on Drama Street
The Killer Grips, minus Courtney, and Screaming Gaffers, minus LeShawna, all sat in the cafeteria, eating breakfast as usual. Lindsay and Beth sat on the opposite side of their table from Justin. Similar to how Heather and Duncan sat on the other side of Harold. “Where is LeFwanda?” Lindsay asked the Gaffers.
“You mean LeTraitor?” Duncan asked sarcastically. “We left her in the vault yesterday. And where is Courtney?”
“Her highness is sleeping in,” Justin answered. Duncan stood up and walked over to Justin.
Duncan got in Justin’s face and said, “You vote her out and I’ll mess you up. Got that, pretty boy?”
Before Justin could respond a loud sneeze rang through the mess hall. Everyone turned to look at Harold whose nose was red from blowing his nose to much. “I have allergies,” Harold said weakly, “Gosh.”
“My boyfriend is working on a permanent vaccine for allergies,” Beth said.
“That would be super if he existed,” Heather said. Duncan sat back down and the teams turned back to talk amongst themselves.
“Good morning!” Courtney said as she walked into the cafeteria, fresh as a daisy. Justin moved to the same side of the table as Beth and Lindsay to give Courtney a side to herself. Courtney got breakfast and sat down. “Why are you all glaring at me like that?”
“No reason,” Justin said.
“Except for the fact you voted of Omar!” Lindsay explained.
“Owen,” Beth corrected her.
“That’s what I said,” Lindsay said.
“He lost the challenge for us!” Courtney said, offended by her team’s anger at her. “How many other challenges has he failed his team in?”
“Counting last season?” Beth asked. Courtney nodded.
“Just three,” Beth said after a moment. “But, if I’m not mistaken, you messed up in the first challenge, and the phobia challenge. And it isn’t like you were a big help yesterday.”
“How dare Beth say that?” Courtney asked angrily in the confessional. “I wish I was on the Gaffers. One so I can be with Duncan. Two because they all respect each other!”
“Well, look who decided to show up,” Heather said as LeShawna walked in.
“I’ve spent twenty-four hours locked up in some nasty old safe!” LeShawna shouted. “Don’t be giving me any lip!”
“Those no good ‘teammates,’” LeShawna ranted in the confessional. “Chef Hatchet came and got me out of that dang safe at midnight!”
“Why didn’t you guys come save me?” LeShawna asked, sitting on the same side of the bench as Harold.
“We figured we’d do better without you,” Duncan explained. “And we did.”
“Even you, Harold?” LeShawna asked.
“Yeah, I don’t like you any more Le… Shawn… Wah-choo!” Harold sneezed again, this time so powerfully that his bowl of oatmeal flew up and landed on Duncan’s head.
“You’re dead,” Duncan said, shaking his fist angrily. Before Duncan could do anything, he was hit in the head with a snowball.
“What is this, Hit Duncan Day?” Duncan asked in the confessional stall.
“Merry Christmas, kiddies!” Chris said as he walked into the cafeteria. He carried something that resembled a paintball gun.
“What’cha got there, Chris?” Justin asked.
“A snowball gun,” Chris explained. “Because today we will be doing the holiday movie theme!”
“I love Christmas!” Lindsay said excitedly.
“For the first part of your challenge, two members of each team will be reindeer and the other two will be elves. The elves get these awesome snowball guns-”
“Wait a minute,” Duncan interrupted, “Isn’t this just like the paintball deer hunt last season?”
“No,” Chris said, “Last season we used deer, this season its reindeer.”
“Of course,” Duncan said annoyed.
“Our reindeer,” Chris said, reading from a list on a piece of paper, “Are Lindsay, Justin, LeShawna, and Heather.” He tossed each one a set of reindeer antlers, a red nose that had a light inside that glowed, and a bushy brown tail. “Our elves are Beth, Courtney, Duncan and Harold.”
The reindeer suited up and ran out of the cafeteria. “I hated this challenge last season,” Heather muttered as the four reindeer passed some of the old sets they’d seen on the first day.
“Go!” Chris shouted to the hunters.
“This will be easy,” Harold said to Duncan as the two ran. “Lindsay and Justin aren’t exactly the brightest bulbs in the box.”
“Shut it,” Duncan said, shooting Harold with a snowball right in his face.
“Ouch!” Harold shouted. “Cold!”
The elves were slowly advancing on the reindeer, who, strangely, decided to stay together. Lindsay suddenly stopped running. “Why are we running again?” she asked. As she stopped, Duncan pulled the trigger and shot her in the back of the head. “Brain freeze!” she cried out.
“First you need a brain to have brain freeze,” Heather said to herself.
Beth ran up and shot Heather. “Don’t mess with my bestie!” Beth said angrily.
“Take that, LeShawna!” Courtney said as she fired at LeShawna. However, Courtney missed LeShawna with each shot.
“That all you got?” LeShawna asked.
“Take this, pretty boy,” Duncan said as he cornered Justin.
“Not the face,” Justin said.
“Okay,” Duncan said as he shot Justin in the stomach.
“Thank you,” Justin said, not flinching at all.
“My twelve-pack is impervious to snowballs,” Justin said in the confessional.
“The Gaffers win part one of the challenge!” Chris announced as he caught up with the eight castmates. “Part two is decorating the trailers! The Grips will decorate the outside of the girls’ trailer and the Grips get the boys’. You can use all the supplies in these boxes.” Chef carried two huge boxes filled with assorted Christmas decorations. “Go!”
“Alright team,” Courtney said, “we are going to have a nice orderly Christmas. Santa statue here, lights here, wreath on the door… Are you guys getting this?” Justin, Lindsay, and Beth stared at Courtney blankly. “Do I have to do everything around here?”
“No, but you do have to chill,” Justin said.
“You’re too high maintenance,” Lindsay added.
“And bossy,” Beth added, smiling at Justin and Beth.
“You want chill?” Courtney growled between clenched teeth. “You want low maintenance? You want a follower? I’ll give you all that!” Courtney threw lights randomly along the trailer, putting Santa statues wherever, and hanging wreaths wherever they’d go. “You like that!?!”
“Looks great,” Justin said.
“Way to go!” Lindsay said, clapping.
Beth gave Courtney a thumbs-up.
“How about we put up lights that spell out ‘GAFFERS’?” LeShawa suggested.
“How about we don’t?” Heather retorted.
“I second that,” Harold said, holding back a sneeze.
“I, surprisingly, agree with the dweebs,” Duncan said.
“So what are you going to do?” LeShawna asked defensively.
“They are going to do nothing!” Chris said before any of the Gaffers could reply at all. “Time is up and the Grips win!” The Grips cheered and congratulated Courtney for helping them. “Now for the tie breaker; one person from each team will be a mall Santa! They will take gift requests from a child we randomly picked, and each child will rate the Santa one to ten.”
“Who wants to be Santa?” Courtney asked the Grips.
“I will! I love kids!” Lindsay volunteered.
“Okay,” Courtney said, “But pay attention and be jolly!”
“Okay!” Lindsay said as she left to change into the suit.
“I am so not being Santa,” Duncan growled.
“Well LeShawna and I can’t!” Heather protested.
“Why not?” Duncan asked.
“Because we’re girls,” Heather explained, “and that leaves…”
“Harold!” LeShawna, Heather, and Duncan all said at once.
“Are we really willing to risk everything on the poster child for allergy medication?” Duncan asked.
“It’s a chance we’ll have to take,” LeShawna said.
“They didn’t even ask for my opinion,” Harold ranter in the confessional. “Gosh!”
“Okay,” Chris said as Lindsay and Harold, in their Santa costumes, got into their chairs. “First kids, go!”
A skinny boy walked up to Lindsay and sat on her lap. “Hello, little boy,” Lindsay said in a deep voice, “I’m Linds- Sam Claus!”
“Santa! Santa Claus!” Courtney hissed.
“Oh yeah!” Lindsay said in her regular voice. She switched to the Santa voice, “I am Santa Claus.”
“You’re the hottest Santa Claus I’ve ever seen!” the boy said.
Lindsay giggled. “Thank you,” she said in her regular voice. She switched back to the Santa voice, “And what would you like for Christmas?”
“A go-kart, the new Pokemon game, the-”
“Oh my gosh!” Lindsay interrupted in her regular voice, “if I were you I’d ask for nail polish and new bikinis!”
“But I’m a guy,” the little boy said. “But if I did get those things I’d give them to you.”
“Aw!” Lindsay said. “You’re sweet!”
“Are you okay Santa?” a little boy asked Harold.
“Santa here just has a little cold,” Harold explained. “So what do you want for Christmas little boy?”
“I want a toy dinosaur, Lego Indiana Jones, season one of Chowder on DVD, a skateboard, a snow board, and a- what the heck is that?” the little boy screamed. He was screaming about the snot now dangling from Harold’s nose.
“Uh oh,” Harold said. His whole face tensed up. “Wah…. Wah…. Wah…. Wah-choo!” Harold sneezed right on the little boy’s face. The little boy screeched and ran away crying.
“Well,” Chris said awkwardly, “it looks like the Grips win. Gaffers, I’ll see you at the Gilded Chris Ceremony tonight!”
“You’re going home,” Duncan said, shaking his fist at Harold.
At the Gilded Chris Ceremony, the Gaffers sat in the bleachers and cast their votes. Chef waked over to Chris in his pink dress from off stage, carrying three Gilded Chris awards. “Okay,” Chris said, feeling good-looking in his blue tuxedo, “we have a Gilded Chris for Duncan, and one for Heather.” Chef tossed Duncan and Heather their awards. “The final Gilded Chris goes to… Harold.” Chef tossed the award to Harold.
“What?” LeShawna asked. “You guys kept Harold? He messed up the challenge!”
“Don’t look at me,” Duncan said, “I voted for Harold.”
“I voted for you, LeShawna,” Heather said.
“I voted for you too, LeShawna,” Harold said. He didn’t look as mad as Heather and Duncan.
“Fine,” LeShawna said angrily, “I know when I’ve lost.” LeShawna turned and headed for the lame-o-sine.
“Wait!” Harold shouted. He ran over to LeShawna. “I can’t let you go, LeShawna. I’ll always love you.”
“Even though I cheated?” LeShawna asked.
“We’ve done worse,” Harold said. “I switched votes, Duncan is a bully, and Heather is Heather. I’m withdrawing from the competition so LeShawna can go on!”
“Can he do that?” Heather asked.
“Sure,” Chris shrugged. He turned to Chef and said, “I told you Harold still liked LeShawna. That’ll be twenty bucks!”
Heather and Duncan watch as Harold gives his Gilded Chris to LeShawna. The two kiss each other until Harold is dragged into the lame-o-sine.
“One more thing!” Harold shouted as he stuck his head out the window. “Duncan, you are a cruel, animal abusing, punk wannabe-” he then swore and was bleeped out. Duncan stared in shock as he had bene called things nobody had dared to call him. The lame-o-sine drove away as Harold continued shouting out his feelings from the past few months.
“Not so tough now, are you?” Heather taunted Duncan.
“Shut up,” Duncan said. He sounded hurt.
“Well, you mostly heard it hear,” Chris said, “Join us next week for more Total Drama Action!”
The Fast And The Incredibly Stupid
“GOOD MORNING CONTESTANTS!” Chris screams into the loudspeaker. Eight grumbling campers stumble out of the two trailers, except for one who has a spring in her step.
Courtney sighs, “I missed being rudely awakened in the wee hours of the morning.”
"Yeah, well I think there’s something wrong with you Captain Preppy-Pants,” Heather retorts.
“Shut it Ice Queen,” Courtney replies.
“Why should I Miss Sues-A-Lot?”
“Because you’re a crazy, manipulative little,” Lindsay clamps her hand over Courtney’s mouth and says,
“Don’t say anything you’ll regret Callie.”
In the confessional Duncan says, “Dang, I love it when Courtney insults people.” In addition, Courtney confesses, “I know that I’m back with Duncan, but I have the feeling something isn’t right with him.”
After choking down a breakfast of eggs dating back to the Disco Era, the contestants step outside to find a gleaming row of sports cars.
“OK, today’s challenge is based off the racing movie genre!” Chris announces.
“Awesome, we can drive cars almost as hot as LeShawna,” Harold replies.
In the confessional LeShawna says,” I can’t believe that white boy is still swooning over me. I’ve been rejecting him for weeks.”
“The rules are simple,” Chris explains, “You have to drive these fast cars in a furious lap around the film lot. The first person from each team to finish will compete in the DEATHMATCH DRAG RACE! Said drag race is self-explanatory. Winner of that gets to take their team to Six Flags!”
“Oh, and did I mention the few distractions that we set up to make this race AWESOME! Let’s see, we have ramps, minefields, and did I mention the A-10 fighter-bomber with enough ammo to destroy all of you in less than five minutes?” Everybody gasps.
“We are so dead,” Justin stammers in the confessional.
“So let’s go!” shouts Chris.
The campers get in their cars and Chef walks out holding two flags wearing a checkered pattern mini-dress and a blonde wig. Everybody grimaces. Harold barfs from seeing the horrendous sight.
“My eyes! They burn!” Beth exclaims.
“OK maggots…On your mark…Get set…GO!” Chef says while waving the flags.
The racers take off. The A-10 circling above the film lot fires a missile almost immediately. Three seconds later, Justin notices a missile in his rear view mirror. He barely has time to scream before the missile detonates and the remains of his car hurtle skyward. For the next minute, the race is uneventful, with Duncan taking the lead until the next “distraction”, A.K.A. a massive ramp followed by a sharp turn. Duncan brakes and gives the lead to Harold. Just as Beth is about to round the corner, Heather slams her car.
“Take that wannabe!” she shouts as Beth is launched up the ramp.
“That was one of the scariest moments of my life,” Beth says in the confessional, “If only Brady were here, he’s a certified Grand Prix driver.”
Meanwhile in a hotel across from the film lot, a woman who bears a striking resemblance to Courtney is arguing over her room with the hotel manager.
“Ma’am, I don’t see why you aren’t satisfied with your room,” the manager says coolly.
“I asked for a room with one bed on the tenth floor with one bed so I could watch my Courtney crush her opposition, but I get a room with TWO beds on the SIXTH floor!”
Then Beth’s car smashes through the wall, destroying one of the beds in the process.
“There ma’am, you have one bed now.”
Meanwhile, the A-10 fires another missile at Heather. Just before it hits she mutters,
“I hate you Karma.”
The missile hits her hood and her car explodes. Heather steps out of the charred black hulk of what was once a car wide eyed. The camera changes to a view of Chris.
“The producers of Total Drama Action would like to apologize for not being able to show the entirety of the race, it was either finish this race, or do the deathmatch drag race, but we’ll show you the wipeout scenes!” Chris says cheerfully.
The camera then changes to a montage of Duncan being ejected out of his car still buckled into his seat, and Leshawna’s car flipping after hitting a landmine.
“Oh,” Chris exclaims off screen, “Here’s my favorite one! Lindsay hit the side of a ramp, here was the result!”
The camera shows Lindsay’s car hitting the side of a ramp, flipping onto its roof, and skidding for twenty feet sending up a shower of sparks. Chris continues,
“Harold and Courtney were the only ones to make it through. Now here is their epic showdown!”
The camera then finally comes to Harold and Courtney in hot rods on a drag strip. Chef is in his eye-harming dress, and the other members of the two teams are cheering their respective driver.
“Where’s Justin?” Courtney asks from her car.
“If I had to guess, he’s in orbit,” Chris replies.
“I’ll miss him!” exclaims Lindsay.
“Me too!” responds Beth.
“Be quiet Perky and Perkier!” yells Chef, “Ok, top two maggots… THREE…TWO…ONE…GO!”
Harold and Courtney shoot down the straight track. The two hot rods arrive at the finish at the same time.
“Oh, we have a photo finish!” shouts Chris. “And our times have come in, Harold’s is………….. Twenty seconds sharp!”
The Gaffers cheer at Harold’s good time.
“Okay Grips, Courtney’s time was……………… 19.999999 seconds. For once, the Gaffers lose.”
“This is all your fault dweeb!” Heather shouted at Harold.
“The Grips are going to Six Flags! Their ride there is here right now!” Chris says with fake enthusiasm. Justin’s car lands next to him with a loud THUD. “Justin, your back, the Grips won for once. Head for the limo!”
“Wait!” Beth calls out, “I have to get my retainer!”
“We’re not in a hurry Betty. Go get it.” Lindsay says.
Beth runs to the girls’ trailer while the rest of the team gets in the limo. On the way back, she notices two figures near the mess hall.
“Y’know Heather, it’s not that bad that we lost. We get to be alone.” A male voice said seductively.
“Yeah, but I’m a massive coaster fan. Besides, it would have been a date.” Heather said in the same fashion as the male voice.
“We can have that date here sweetheart.” The man said just before pulling Heather into a long kiss.
“You’re a good kisser, Duncan.”
Beth let out a gasp and started to sprint to the limo containing the rest of the Grips. The camera pans to Chris.
“Will Beth tell what she just saw to Courtney?” Chris says.” If so, will she kill Duncan and Heather? Find out next time on Total… Drama… Action!”
The final eight castmates woke up to Chris, yelling through a bullhorn, “Get your breakfast and meet at the studios for today’s challenge!” He shouted.
Leshawna sat up quickly, and bumped her head on the, “Dang bottom bunk, always bumpin’ my head…” She grumbled.
“What’d you say, Lafondah?” Lindsay stuck her head from over the side of her bed, causing her to fall.
“Oh, no! Lindsay, are you okay?” Beth ran over to her side.
“I’m fine, Belle,” Lindsay giggled.
“Oh no! She can’t remember my name!” Beth exclaimed, “Oh, no, wait… She always does that…”
Courtney stretched and woke up, “Good morning,” She sang.
Lindsay and Beth glared at her.
“What? It’s not my fault that Owen is out,” Courtney stated.
Beth and Lindsay continued to glare.
“He had it coming! My lawyer, Michael, made me immune to elimination, and he annoys me!” Courtney protested.
“Carrie, you do know we’re just gonna vote you when we lose, right?” Lindsay asked.
“My name is Courtney, and I’m fully aware of that, Lindsay, but don’t worry, we won’t be losing,” Courtney said.
“And what makes you so sure of that, Little Miss CIT?” Leshawna stepped out of her bed.
“Because we have what you guys don’t!” Courtney replied.
“And that is?” Leshawna asked.
“Something that nobody can even come close to beating. Something so powerful that even the mightiest people can counter. Something so-“ Courtney was cut off.
“And that is?!” Leshawna interrupted.
“A Counselor- in- Training!” Courtney took a triumphant step forward.
“Save it, prep,” Heather jumped down from her bed.
The girls continued to argue like this for a long time. Meanwhile with the guys…
Harold was gripping onto his bed for dear life, “Gosh, I can’t believe I let you talk me into switching to a top bunk! I’m deadly scared of heights, man!”
“I knew you were! That’s why I convinced you!” Duncan explained, “But I feel kind of bad about it, so why don’t you just jump, and I’ll catch you.”
“Fine, but if you miss, I’m going to have to unleash some mad skills onto you,” Harold said. He jumped, and Duncan didn’t even hold out his arms, “Idiot!” Harold exclaimed.
“Will you two keep it down?! I need complete silence to maintain my beauty!” Justin yelled.
“Excuse me, King Justin… Or should I say I say Queen Justin?” Duncan said.
“King Justin will do nicely. And don’t push your luck, I could get the girls to vote you out,” Justin threatened.
“So? That’s two votes on two votes,” Duncan pointed out.
“You expect Harold to vote with you?” Justin asked.
“He will if I say he will! Right, Harold?” Duncan made a fist.
“Right, Duncan,” Harold said, “… Not!” He said quietly.
“Hurry up and get your butts down to breakfast!” Chris yelled through a megaphone.
The contestants drowsily trudged down to the dining hall. When they arrived there, they came to find a sort of unpleasant surprise. There was blood everywhere and Chef Hatchet was covered in it, as he lay on the floor motionless.
“What are you trying to pull, Chris?” Leshawna turned to the host.
Harold wiped some blood off of a wall with his finger. He tasted it, “This isn’t blood, this is ketchup!” He spat it out, “I hate ketchup!”
“And Chef Hatchet is moving!” Beth pointed out.
“I don’t know, guys, I’m pretty sure that he’s dead,” Lindsay kicked him repeatedly, just to check.
“I hate my life…” Chef grumbled.
“And he just talked!” Beth exclaimed.
“Nice, Chef, nice. You blew the challenge!” Chris said.
“No, these kids blew the challenge!!” Chef exclaimed.
“They wouldn’t have blown the challenge if you had been doing your part!” Chris argued.
“I would’ve been doing a better job if you paid me more!!” Chef yelled.
“We pay you a nice, large salary every month! That should be enough!” Chris protested.
“You pay me in coupons and hair care products!” Chef exclaimed.
“Those are the same brands that I buy! You should feel honored to have such marvelous products touch your hair!” Chris argued, “Look, castmates, as Chef and I settle this, you can do the challenge. Today’s genre is mystery. As you can see Chef has died. We’ve left clues around the film lot hinting at the killer. We have a packet of suspects for both teams. Report back here when you’re called for the results. Challenge begins… Now!” Chris chucked two folders onto the ground. Courtney pushed everyone out of her way as she dove for a folder.
“Got one!” Courtney held it victoriously in the air.
Heather bent down and picked one up, “Alright, how hard can this be?” She asked rhetorically, as she walked over to the rest of her team. Heather spread out the suspects.
“Look at this one! It looks like Harold!” Duncan held up a picture of scrawny scientist holding a pair of test tubes.
“I do not look like that!” Harold protested.
“Oh, my mistake, your nose is bigger than his!” Duncan chuckled.
“Can you two focus?” Leshawna asked.
“Anything for you Leshawna,” Harold obeyed.
“Good,” Leshawna said.
“I say that we split up and each two people take half of the suspects,” Heather suggested.
“Nu-uh, we have to keep all the suspects together. What if we come across something, and it doesn’t look like a clue unless we have the right suspect?” Leshawna pointed out.
“Whatever you say, Leshawna…” Harold drooled.
“Oh, give it up, Harold,” Heather said.
“Never! I’ll never give up on you Leshawna!” Harold exclaimed, as he squatted down and grabbed onto Leshawna’s leg.
“Get off, string bean!” Leshawna waved her leg frantically, Harold flew off and into the wall.
“I think I sprained my collar bone!” Harold cried. Duncan was laughing from the sidelines.
“Oh, I’m sorry sugar baby!” Leshawna ran to his side.
“Look, you and Harold can stay here, and Duncan and I will go!” Heather was frustrated.
“Me, go with you? Not happening,” Duncan protested.
“Come on!” Heather grabbed the suspects of the table and dragged Duncan outside.
Duncan’s eye was caught by a tall high heel, “Hey, Heather, I think that could be a clue! Unless it’s Chef’s that is.”
“It’s a clue,” Heather checked the info, “Look, we need to vote out Leshawna for the way she bawled to get that reward.”
“Why shouldn’t we vote you out?” Duncan asked.
“Because, I can convince you to vote her out. I have Harold wrapped around my finger. If the three of us vote for Leshawna then we can get her!” Heather pointed out.
“… Fine, Heather. I’ll vote with you,” Duncan agreed.
“Excellent,” Heather smirked.
Meanwhile, with the Grips…
“Well I say we take it!” Courtney argued.
“It’s just a piece of trash, Courtney!” Beth argued.
“No! It’s a clue! Anything could be a clue! Just look around!” Courtney exclaimed.
“Carrie, knock it off! I’m sick and tired of you trying to boss us around!!” Lindsay yelled.
“Is that so? Well, then maybe you would like to lead this team!” Courtney shouted.
“I would!” Lindsay gleamed, “Thanks, Carrie! All right, Commando Lindsay is in charge now! As my first order of business, we leave the garbage here!”
“What?! No!!! That so called, ‘garbage’ is a clue!” Courtney screamed.
“We’re leaving it! Grab her, Justin! Grab her!” Lindsay ordered. Justin grabbed Courtney and dragged her along. Courtney stooped down and picked up the trash as she was being dragged away.
Both teams ran around frantically searching for clues for the next forty minutes.
“Screaming Gaffers! Killer Grips! Report back to the cafeteria for the results!” Chris yelled over the loudspeaker.
Both teams arrived back quickly. The Gaffer’s were surprised to find that Chef and Leshawna were getting Harold back to normal.
“Nurse Leshawna, get me a defibrillator, stat!” Chef demanded.
“Right away, Head Nurse Chef!” Leshawna ran and soon came back with a defibrillator.
“Thank you, Nurse Leshawna!” Chef thanked.
“You’re welcome, Head Nurse Chef!” Leshawna acknowledged.
“Clear!” Chef shocked Harold with the defibrillator, “Nurse Leshawna, bring me 20 ccs of anesthesia, stat!”
“Yes, Head Nurse Chef!” Leshawna said. She brought him what he had described. Chef injected the anesthesia into Harold, “Um, Head Nurse Chef,” Leshawna realized, “I think that we’re supposed to use the anesthesia before we do anything that causes pain, like the defibrillator.”
“Well, you don’t! That’s why I’m Head Nurse Chef, and you’re just Nurse Leshawna!” Chef remarked, “Clear!” He shocked Harold again.
“I’m fine!!! I’ve been saying that for the past hour!” Harold objected.
“He’s delusional, Nurse Leshawna!” Chef exclaimed, “I know what to do! CLEAR!” He shocked Harold again.
“Nice to see you back again,” Chris greeted the two teams that had just arrived, “Now, who do you think that the Killer is? Bring me five pieces of evidence and your guess.”
First the Gaffers stepped forward, “We think that it is Miss Pretty-Mama-Jama-Lama.” Duncan held up a suspect card that had a picture of an Indian princess. Heather handed Chris a sash, a high heel, a tube of lipstick, some mascara and a tiara.
“These aren’t clues,” Chris stated. Heather and Duncan gasped, “These are Chef’s.”
Heather and Duncan both turned to stare at Chef with a look of disbelief on their faces. Chef gave a little wave to them.
“I told you they were Chef’s!” Duncan exclaimed. Heather and Duncan argued as they sat down at a table. The Grips stepped forward.
“We think that it’s Hank the Garbage Man,” Lindsay announced. Lindsay handed him a garbage man’s badge, a garbage can lid, the keys to a garbage truck, a recycling bin and a bumper sticker.
“Your right… Except only four of these are actually for the garbage man,” Chris pointed out, “That bumper sticker is Chef’s.”
“It says, ‘Chef’s Roadkill Café: Eat it or Die,’” Chef smiled.
“I think that if you did eat it, you’d die,” Heather remarked.
“What was that?!” Chef whipped his head around to face Heather.
“Nothing,” Heather said, sheepishly.
“Well, if this is all you have, then it looks like both teams lost,” Chris said.
“Wait!!!” Courtney shrieked, “I have another piece of evidence!!” Courtney ran up to Chris and put the piece of garbage in his hands, “This piece of trash!”
“This is the final piece of evidence! Grips win!” Chris announced. The Grips cheered.
“I knew it!!! I told you that it was a clue!! HA!!!” Courtney continued to gloat.
“Gaffers, please come to the Gilded Chris Ceremony tonight,” Chris said.
Later, at the Gilded Chris Ceremony…
“There are voting devices under your seat, please cast your votes,” Chris said.
Heather and Duncan looked at each other and nodded. Heather had told Heather their plan earlier, but was unsure if Harold would go through with it.
“Your votes have been cast… And the first Gilded Chris goes to… Harold…” Chris tossed a Gilded Chris to Harold, who caught and then did one of his ninja moves, “Next is for Duncan…” He threw one to Duncan, “Only to nominees left… And the final Gilded Chris goes to……… Heather,” Chris threw Heather the final Gilded Chris to Heather.
“What?!” Leshawna exclaimed, “Are you out of your mind?! We had the perfect chance to vote off Heather!!! Why’d you vote me out?!”
“Remember when you cried like a baby for your little spa day?” Heather asked, rhetorically, “That’s karma coming back to you.”
“And this is coming from the Queen of Karma? Yeah, right! I know this is your fault Heather!!” Leshawna shouted as Chef dragged her down the Red Carpet of Shame. She got on the Lame-o-sine and left.
Let the Games Begin
“Last time on Total Drama Action…” Chris started. “The Gaffers are having issues with Leshawna’s previous actions to win a reward. Owen and Leshawna were kidnapped, and locked in a vault. The Grips and the Gaffers had to break them out and go rob a bank. The Grips got Owen out of the vault by tempting him with food. The Gaffers realized they don’t need Leshawna, so they left her in the vault. When the Gaffers got to the bank, Duncan got a little surprise: Courtney is back in the game! Owen ended up being a handicap in the challenge because he craved food. Courtney was put on the Killer Grips. The two teams then had to build and race go-karts as their getaway vehicles. The Gaffers won, and the Grips wanted to vote out Courtney, but her lawyer gave her invincibility. Owen, Beth, Lindsay, and Justin all voted for Courtney. Courtney voted for Owen. Owen then gave a farewell speech and walked down the Red Carpet of Shame. Who will lose this week? Who will let Leshawna out of the vault? All these questions will be answered on Total Drama Action!” Chris finished.
The camera then goes to the Gaffers and the Grips sitting at the tables in the cafeteria eating breakfast. Justin, Beth, and Lindsay are sitting across from Courtney. Duncan and Heather are sitting across from Harold.
“How could you vote out Owen?” Beth asked.
“He lost us the challenge.” Courtney replied.
“You were just as bossy!” Lindsay stated.
“No I wasn’t. I was being a good leader!” Courtney defended herself.
“I agree with Lindsay.” Justin stated his opinion.
“Really!?” Lindsay was amazed.
“Yes, really.” Justin said.
The camera then cuts to the Screaming Gaffers.
“Who’s going to let the rap star wannabe out of the vault?” Heather asked.
“Nobody, she got what she deserved.” Duncan replied.
“I’ll be back in a minute.” Harold said while running.
“He better not be letter Leshawna out of the vault. If he does, he is the next to go!” Heather demanded.
“I agree.” Duncan agreed.
Harold then comes back with Leshawna.
In the confessional Harold says “I couldn’t just let her stay in the vault. I had to get her out some time.”
“I can’t believe you just left me in there.” Leshawna said
“Oops. Did we forget you?” Heather laughed
“That’s it!” Leshawna tried to attack Heather, but she was interrupted by Chris.
“Grips and Gaffers, I have good news.” Chris said. “Welcome to the merge!” Everybody cheered. “Wait there’s more!” Chris said.
In the confessional Heather was saying “There must be something wrong with Chris. Good news, come on when has Chris ever had good news?” “Also, there will be no elimination today!” Chris said. Everybody cheered again. “You’re challenge is a sports themed challenge. You will each get be put in a pair, then you and your partner will compete against each other in a sport. If you beat your partner by meeting the qualifications to win, then you spend the day at a spa!” Chris finished.
“What’s the catch?” Leshawna asked. “You’ll find out!” Chris smiled evilly. “Okay. The pairs are: Courtney and Leshawna, Heather and Lindsay, Duncan and Harold, and Beth and Justin.” Chris stated.
“Yes! I got Justin!” Beth exclaimed.
“Lucky! I wanted Justin.” Lindsay said. “I am not being paired up with this dweeb!” Duncan complained.
“I’m not getting paired up with that criminal.” Harold said.
“Stop your complaining!” Chris yelled. “The first pair up is Duncan and Harold. You’re sport is baseball.”
Chris told them. Duncan is seen in the confessional saying “That dork is going down!”
“I’m okay with that, swinging at things with a baseball bat.” Duncan said.
“To win you have to hit score a run, but if you get out, it’s the other person’s turn. To get them out, you can catch the ball, get to the base with the ball before the other player, or you could throw the ball at them and hit them.” Chris said. “Harold, you’re going to bat first. And Duncan you’re going to be pitching.”
Duncan threw the ball, Harold hit the ball. As Harold was running to first base, Duncan ran to the ball, picked it up, and threw it at Harold’s Head. Harold fell down, and Duncan laughed at him.
“Why’d you throw it at my head? Gosh!” Harold asked.
“Oops, did I throw the ball at your head?” Duncan joked.
Duncan was now up to bat, Harold threw the ball. Duncan swung the bat, and hit the ball. The ball hit Harold in his groin. “Ouch!” Harold said while falling down. Duncan ran the bases and scored.
“Duncan wins!” Chris yelled. “Courtney and Leshawna you’re up. You’re sport is volleyball. The first person to five points wins!”
Courtney served first, Leshawna tried to hit the ball but she fell because the floor was slippery. The same thing happened over and over until Courtney won.
“How did you stay standing on that floor?” Leshawna asked.
“Only the court was slippery, I served behind the court.” Courtney explained.
“Beth and Justin, you’re sport is basketball. Here are your blindfolds!” Chris laughed.
“What!” Beth and Justin said.
“Just put them on!” Chris demanded. Beth and Justin put the blindfolds on. “First person to score wins!”
Beth got the ball first. She threw the ball hoping for it to go into the basket. It missed and hit Justin in the face.
“Ouch, my beautiful face!” Justin exclaimed.
“Did I hit you?” Beth asked.
“Yes.” Justin replied.
“I forfeit the challenge. Justin needs the spa treatment to heal his beautiful face!” Beth said.
Beth was then seen in the confessional saying “I can’t believe I hit Justin in the face! Well at least Justin can have that spa treatment to heal his beautiful face!”
“Heather and Lindsay you are playing soccer.” Chris said. “First person to score a goal wins. Here is the ball!” Chris said while getting a soccer ball that was two feet wide and three feet tall. “Go!”
Heather ran to the ball while Lindsay was guarding her goal.
“Lindsay look it’s a unicorn!” Heather tried to trick Lindsay.
“Heather, I know unicorns don’t exist.” Lindsay stated.
“Lindsay look it’s a mall!” Heather tried again.
“Where?” Lindsay asked.
Heather then kicked the ball and it went into the goal.
“I win!” Heather exclaimed.
That afternoon a bus came to take Duncan, Courtney, Justin, and Heather to the spa.
“Well that wraps up this week’s episode. Tune in next time for Total Drama Action!” Chris ended the episode. The camera then turned off.
The screen is still for a few minutes, showing a still picture of the “city” used in Total Drama Action with the only sound being a few birds chirping. Suddenly, Chris pops up. “Sorry guys, no recap or theme song today. You see, we’ve been experiencing some difficulties with our producers, so we have to cut down the show time. Hope you can see enough of our challenge,” he chuckles. “We’re running out of time already. On with the show!”
The scene starts at the craft services tent. Leshawna enters, gasping as she flops down onto a chair. “Where…were…you?” she pants, evidently out of breath. The Grips ignore her and the Gaffers look away.
“Did you hear something?” Heather asks.
“Nah, must’ve just been my inner mind yelling for Leshawna to come,” Harold shrugs.
“Your ‘inner mind’ is disturbing us all, then.” Duncan rolls his eyes. “Everyone knows Leshawna isn’t gonna come back.”
Leshawna bolts up and breathes fury. “Don’t just stand there! Answer me!”
Heather turns her head. “Oh, hey Courtney!” she grins in mock cheerfulness. “What are you doing over here? I thought you were on the Grips.”
“Shut up!” yells Leshawna.
“Oh, fine, Leshawna,” Duncan says reluctantly. “Let me guess, you want us to apologize for ditching you in the bank vault three days ago.”
“Yes!” Leshawna shouts, flustered.
“Look, Heather and Harold tried letting you out to such a point that they completely forgot about me, so look. Don’t go blaming the juvie guy on your hunger, thirst, and sleeplessness.”
“Good.” Leshawna eyes the H-bombs, then turns away.
Chris enters the tent. “Welcome, castmates!” he grins. “Today, we have a twist.”
“Which is…” Justin mutters.
“Stop trying to get the last word! Anyway, today, everyone from Season 1 and all the eliminated contestants will be returning to watch the game!” Chris announces.
“Really?” asks Beth with wide eyes.
“Yes, really!” Chris holds up rag-dolls of everyone not in the game and throws them on the floor.
“Sick prankster.” Courtney puts her hands in her head.
“Anyway…today’s challenge is…SINGING!”
“Singing? What the heck does that have to do with movies?” Heather asks.
“Because musicals require singing, and musicals can be movies,” Chris answers smoothly. “You’ll be singing to save your lives—or just your time on the show—today. Meet me at the hill where you set your sets up.” Chris exits the craft services tent.
Duncan saunters over to the Grips’ table. “Courtney, I hate to ask, but how in the world did you make it onto the show?”
“Simple,” Courtney replies flatly. “I hired a couple of good lawyers, found out that Phil, an intern on the show, attempted to rob a bank once, and brought back everyone from Season 1 as witnesses. The result? We knocked the show out like a bowling ball.” She folds her arms. “Duncan? Duncan! Where are you?”
“Chillax, princess,” Duncan says calmly, with a wave of his hand. “I had to tell the team something.”
“What did you tell them?” Courtney asks, ready to pounce on Duncan if he says something bad.
“Eh, I was listening,” Duncan shoots back defensively. “I told them that we had to find a way to get them to have better singing. You’ve heard Leshawna and me sing, I don’t have hopes for Heather, and Harold’s gonna get kicked before he has a chance.”
“You don’t mean…”
“I mean you should try to coach them since you’re a good singer. In exchange, I’ll help your team win.”
“It’s stupid, but I’ll do it.”
And so everyone was on their way for the challenge.
“Like I said,” Chris paces around the set, explaining the challenge, “you’ll all be singing to save your lives. Because this ferocious monster,” Chris throws back a curtain and a massive monster pops out, the same one shown in Monster Cash, “loves music, and that’s about the only thing he loves. Because if you can make this dude happy, you’re one happy man. If you don’t make him happy, he’ll injure you.” A lawyer passes Chris a slip. “Uh…I mean, he’ll take you out of the challenge,” Chris corrects himself. “Now let’s start! First up to sing for the Grips is…Lindsay.”
Lindsay walks onto the stage. She does some fast thinking and what comes out of it is-- “I seriously hope this song is good because if it isn’t, I’m gonna die! Oooh, but then…well I guess not, but maybe I will fly!”
Justin and Courtney groan.
“RAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!” the monster exclaims, and catapults Lindsay into her trailer.
“Next is Heather,” Chris rolls his eyes. “We’re running out of time. We have to get on with this show, people!”
Heather goes up, and sucks in a deep breath, but suddenly collapses to the floor, a belch emerging from her lips.
“She can’t be dead,” Beth thinks. “But something must’ve happened to her.”
“Relax, everybody,” Chris announces. Suddenly, Heather rolls down the hill and very nearly falls into the water, but Courtney reaches out and grabs her.
“She better be taken down to the infirmary.” Chris looks worried. “Anyway, up next for the Grips is Courtney.”
Courtney gets up onto the set and sings a tune. The monster looks puzzled but doesn’t say anything. “Pass, I guess,” Chris shrugs.
Leshawna steps up. She inhales, and does some garbled words that no one can really understand. At the end of her performance, she falls flat on her back. The monster shrugs, scoops Leshawna up (with effort) and tosses her in the Gaffers’ trailer.
“Fail. The Gaffers are sucking, badly!” Chris laughs. “Next up for the Grips, Beth.”
Beth does a song similar to what she sang for her audition tape of Total Drama Island. The monster taps his chin before he shrugs and lets Beth walk away.
Chris sighs. “That’s 2-0. Next is Harold.”
“Huh?” Duncan mutters quietly.
Harold goes up and does something all right. The monster is seen under pressure, thinking whether to knock Harold out or let him walk away. In the end, the monster grabs Harold’s shirt and chucks it away.
“Hey! Knock it off!” Harold yells up to the giant monster. Eventually he sulks away.
“That leaves our final two. Justin is up for the Grips!”
Justin does absurdly horrible. Almost as horrible as Lindsay! The monster nearly catapults him out, but instead puts him down through the hole Lindsay crashed through in his trailer.
“And our final contestant—“ Chris pauses. “Where’s Duncan? Oh well. That’s the end of the competition. Gaffers, see me tonight for the elimination ceremony.”
The scene switches to the ceremony. The normal “Gilded Chris” slideshow plays. Heather lays unconscious, Leshawna garbles random letters, Harold stands shirtless, and Duncan has his head in his hands. “Welcome, to our Gilded Chris Ceremony!” After repeating the perennial dramatic elimination thing, Chris finally says, “The first Gilded Chris goes to Harold.” Harold collects his.
“Next is Heather,” Chris mutters. “The final Gilded Chris goes to…
“Zaneizcraklakin!” shouts Leshawna menacingly. “Yonosonvomeoff!”
“Hold your stinking horses, lady!” Chris backs up. “Here’s a Gilded Chris for you, too. See, we figured that someone must’ve sabotaged the game and poisoned Leshawna and Heather, so…we decided no one should be voted off.” Everyone groans.
Duncan says in the confessional, “Chris’s right. I had to poison the two girls and disappear when it was my act to make Harold seem like the best ever and so we could win. I guess it didn’t work, but I’m just glad no one voted me off.” The confessional turns to static.
bring it down! (bring it on!)
Leshawna was let out before the show started. Heather and Duncan sat besides her glaring at her while Leshawna glared at both of them.
The campers were in the mess hall eating there digusting breakfast. The Grips were feeling down, well most of them. They had lost there important, friendly and the most ethutiastic player... Owen and the earned Courtney... the bossy one.
"I can't believe Owen had to go." Beth sighed.
"Ya..." Justin and Lindsay agreed.
Even the Gaffers were a bit down because Owen was friendly and ate everything.
"Good Morning Campers!" Chris said as he did a cartwheel in the mess hall. "You guys better turn the frown upside down and get ready for a chalenge and p.s. its a cheerleading one so get streatching." He left.
"Yes, a great challenge for me!" Courtney bursted. She held out her pom poms and started to do a basic cheer. The Gaffers began to leave but Duncan turned back and stared at Courtney.
"Come on Duncan we have to practice this cheer!", Heather said as she pulled Duncan away.
The campers were in a open space of dead grass. Chris stood in the middle and next to him was uniforms and pom poms. The Grips uniform was red and the Gaffers were green.
"Ok, so you guys must thing of a cheer and me an Chef (points to Chef) will judge on how good the cheer is so GOOD LUCK!"
The Gaffers exchanged looks... Heather glared at Leshawna and Leshawna shyly looked at Harold as Duncan looked at Courtney as she talked to her team (in a harsh voice). Heather then swung her glare at Duncan.
"Uh, quiet staring at her, shes a Grip not a Gaffer." Heather said. "Now how are we going to do this because I am sooooo not going to break my arms lifting you guys!"
"Well fine then" Harold said as he turned away.
"The Heather can be lifted!" Leshawna quickly said. She took the nearest seat and sat there feeling a bit rejected.
"We could do a 3 man piramid." Duncan replied hopefully "Heather on the top and me and Harold on the bottom"
"Hey, what about Leshawna" Harold pleaded.
"What about her? I thought you didn't like her because of that incident!" Duncan argued back.
"Ok you guys, this challenge is easy because we got me as a cheerleader." Courtney said.
"Really, Im in Gymanstics!" Lindsay said in a proud voice.
"Just dont do anything that will affect my appearnece" Justin said in a horrifed voice.
"We get to touch pom poms, too bad my boyfriend isn't here." Beth said in a happy then sad voice.
"Beth just face it, YOU DONT HAVE A BOYFRIEND!!!" Justin said.
"Guys, shut up, and get to work!" snapped Courtney. "Now on the count of three, one two three go!"
"Okay campers! Time to show me your cheer!" Chris said.
The Gaffers went onto the stage and started cheering but a boring cheer. They did cartwheels and boring kidish stuff then they did the 3 man piramed. Leshawna sat down on a cheer waving a gaffers flag.
"I give that a 2" Chris said.
"Wait what!?!?" Heather said.
"Its a 2" Chris said again.
"Why!?!" HArold and Duncan said at the same time.
"Ok Grips! Its your time to shine your cheer."
Courtney stood in the middle with her pom poms down. Lindsay and Beth behind her and Justin in the back.
"Ok Guys, five, six, sev-uhn, eight"
They started then they did much better things rather than the gaffers kidish cheer. Courtney accidently slapped Justin in the face
."Oh no, My beautiful face!!!!" he shrieked.
"Forget it Justin, we are supposed to win!" hissed Courtney
Lindsay then ran into Justin breaking one of his nails/
"Ooops, sorry" Lindsay quickly apologized
" My nails!!!! I cant take this anymore!!!!", yelled Justin.
"OK, stop the cheer... I dont want you guys getting hurt and its pretty obvious who one... the Killer Grips!" Chris anounced\
"Yes we won!!!" Lindsay and Beth said.
It was Elmination time. The Gaffers looked at each other, glaring, and putting in their votes.
"Ok, Duncan and Harold gets the beautiful guilded Chris" Chris said. Heather and Leshawna stared at each other.
"And then Heather gets one too. Bye, bye, Leshawna."
Adventure, treasure and Chris’s hair gel
“Last time on TDA we saw Courtney return to the Completion, Owen walked the red carpet of shame and was the first in TDI and TDA history to make an awesome speech! Stay tuned to see who will win, who will lose and who has stolen my hair gel, find out on Total Drama Action!” Chris yelled. Back at the trailers Duncan was putting Chris’s hair gel in Harold’s underwear.
“Ha-ha now this will be funny” He quietly whispered making sure not to wake the others. Just as Duncan was finished setting up his prank Harold got out of bed, tripped up and landed with a thump.
“Ouch! I think I broke my-.”Just as Harold was about to finish Duncan was gone. In the mess hall everybody was meant to be eating breakfast instead they were questionably looking at the red slop that was meant to be breakfast.
“So Chris what’s the challenge you’re not going to make us do anything insane coz my lawyers-.”Heather was interrupted with a yell from the trailer Harold had just fallen into Duncan’s
“Yuck! My pants” Harold screamed as the others laughed at Duncan’s prank.
“Okay let’s stop laughing at the dorky guy.”Chris said.
“What’s the challenge?!” Courtney snapped she seemed to be in a bad mood.
“Adventure movies the teams will have to go on a journey to find the treasure! Dun dun duh! They will have to find their way through the caves and find the treasure.” Chris said.
“What treasure!? Don’t we get maps or something?” Heather asked.
“Yes but maps don’t get you past booby traps...” Chris said with a smile. Harold came in and started to giggle.
“You said booby! Harold said trying not to laugh.
“Dork...”Duncan whispered under his breath.
- At the caves*
“Okay here are the caves, the team that makes it through without getting trapped or worst wins the treasure and doesn’t get their butts sent home. Courtney will be captain of the Grips and Duncan will be captain of the Gaffers. Oh and you must have all your team when you get to the end.”Chris explained. A gasp came from Duncan he seemed to be having trouble breathing.
“Aww don’t worry Courtney won’t beat you up if we win...” Harold teased. Duncan got up, shoved Harold into Heather and walked away.
- In the caves*
“(conf) I’m kinda scared about Cara being captain...”Lindsay said in a ditzy high pitched voice not noticing she got the name wrong.
“Ungh it’s too dark in here! I can’t read the map!” Courtney Screamed.
- Caves (Gaffers)*
“This is so stupid!” Heather snapped
“Well at least were-.” Duncan was interrupted by a scream from LeShawna she had fallen into a ditch.
“Hey ya’ll its wet down here!”She screamed.
“Oh crap! LeShawna! We can’t win without all of the team at the end!” Heather explained.
- Caves (Grips)*
Beth and Lindsay were admiring Justin’s good looks.
“Oh Jake you’re so hot!” Lindsay said.
“His name is Justin! argued Beth.
“Oh ladies don’t worry remember if we lose we vote little Ms. Anoyying and bossy, k?” Justin smoothly said while pointing at Courtney. “I heard that!” shouted Courtney.
“Oh sorry Katie...” said Lindsay.
“My name is Courtney!” she screamed.
“Hey guys I found the way out!” Beth shouted with happiness.
“Let’s go then Cara!” said Lindsay. Courtney was scowling at Lindsay for getting her name wrong again.
“Yes we won!” Courtney cheered.
“Okay now we’ve got to find the Gaffers and-.” Chris said not realizing that the Grips had run away.
“Oh Chef!” Chris called with a smile.
- Award ceremony*
“Depressing... you guys were awesome out there!” Chris said trying not to laugh.
“...Whatever.” said Duncan.
“Okay losers time to vote!”Chris happily said.
“Hurry up!” Heather snapped.
“Gee fine... going home tonight is ...LeShawna!
“Sorry ya’ll!” said LeShawna in a depressing way.
“Take her away Chef” said Chris as Chef forced LeShawna into the lame-o-sine.
“What was the treasure anyway?” Duncan asked.
“Dude no treasure, we just do that to make it sound like real adventure movie.” said Chris while laughing.
“Aw man.” Harold sadly said.
“Geek, we should have voted Mr. Mad Skills off!” argued Duncan.
Juvie and the Beast
"WAKE UP, YOU SCRAWNY MAGGOTS!”
The cast mates groan and look at the clock. “4:30 a.m.?” Lindsay mutters. “Why can’t Kevin and Coach Harper let us sleep in for once?” As the unlucky contestants jaunt groggily to the set, a screech makes all of teens clutch their temples.
“Courtney!” Duncan exclaims. A huge dragon had picked up Duncan’s girlfriend and was carrying her to a large tower. Courtney lets out another ear-shattering scream. While Harold went to the confessional, the rest of the cast mates chase after the dragon.
"Of course I’m not going to rescue Courtney!" Harold says in the confessional. "She hit me with a lamppost! I am SO getting my revenge.”
“Are you serious? Put me down!” Courtney protests. The dragon proceeds to place Courtney in a huge tower. “Oh, great. That’ll help!”
“Courtney!” She spins around to see the Gaffers, minus Harold, sprinting towards the tower, with the Grips in hot pursuit. Duncan immediately begins searching for a way up. When the Grips arrive, Justin refuses to search, claiming it would chip his beautiful nails. “Hey guys, look!” Beth exclaims. She had found a staircase, albeit a long one, to the top of the tower. The Grips run up as fast as they can. Meanwhile, Duncan mutters. “If I were Chris, where would I put an entrance?” He slaps his forehead as he sees an elevator built into the side of the tower. “Almost there!” Lindsay pants. The Grips’ speed has been reduced to a stagger. As they reach the top, they see Chris with Courtney and Duncan.
“But how?” Beth asks. Chris points to the elevator.
“The first challenge was to rescue 'The Princess', aka Courtney, from the tower. The Gaffers win!”
Courtney and Harold are standing in a remote location. “What is it now, Harold?” Courtney annoyingly questions. “Well, you know how Duncan and Gwen are ‘Just friends’”? Harold says. “Yeah, what about it?” “I saw them kissing.” “WHAT!?” “Perfect.” Harold thinks. It was all according to plan. Get Courtney to break up with Duncan, and then Duncan would be easy to get out of the competition. “Ooh, Duncan is SO DEAD!” Courtney storms off.
“All right.” Chris exclaims. “As you know by now, the genre is Fairy Tales! The Gaffer’s princess is Leshawna; the Grips’ princess is Beth. The next challenge is to run this obstacle course behind me, reach the princess while avoiding the Ugly Stepsister.” Chef is then shown in a long flowing dress, scowling. “Alright. Justin will run the course for the Grips, Heather will run for the Gaffers. GO!” Heather and Justin wade through the pond of frogs. They are neck and neck until the Ugly Stepsister chases after Justin. Desperate not to become ugly, Justin runs even faster, bolting past the horrendous beast, and whooshing by the pumpkin coach of doom. Justin leaps into the arms of Beth. She blushes as Justin quickly removes himself from her grasp. “The Grips win the second challenge!” Chris announces. While the Grips are cheering, Courtney pulls Duncan away by the mohawk.
“Duncan, how could you?!” Courtney shouts. Leshawna hears the scream, and decides to listen in. “Harold told me you kissed Gwen!”
“What!? One, why would I KISS Gwen? And two, why would YOU believe HAROLD?” Duncan exclaimed.
“Well it doesn’t matter." Courtney protests. "It’s over.” Duncan tears up, and goes to the confessional.
"I never *sniff* wanted her to let me go." Duncan sobs in the confessional, completly out of character. "She's been my whole world, my whole life. I don't know if I can go on without her." He falls to the ground, and a hysterical crying noise is heard.
“All right,” Chris says. “The tiebreaker challenge is to battle the dragon, rush to the bedroom of the tower, and kiss your team’s princess. Since Justin is the Grip’s only male, he’ll have to do it for them. Gaffers, you can decide.”
“Ew, no way!” Heather exclaims. “And where’s Duncan?” The camera switches to the make-up trailer, which still has the sound of weeping from inside of it. The camera goes back to the Gaffers. “I guess Harold will have to do it.” Heather decides. Harold and Justin walk up to their respective dragons.
“Piece of cake.” Harold says. He pulls out his Nun-Yos. The dragon snaps them in half with a bored expression on its face. Harold then proceeds to wet his pants and cry “Mommy!!!” as he runs away in fear. Justin rips off his shirt. The dragon stares, wide-eyed, and its paint melts off. Justin runs past the dragon and marches up the stairs. Meanwhile, Harold is now hiding behind his dragon. “It’ll never find me here!” he whispers. The robot looks back, and proceeds to breathe fire in Harold’s general direction. Harold wets himself yet again, and faints. By that time, Justin has reached the bedroom, where Beth lay. He hesitated, trying to hold back puke. Then, he kisses Beth on the lips. Justin’s face turned green, and he pukes out the window, the vomit landing directly on Harold’s head. “The Grips win!” Chris exclaims. “Gaffers, I’ll see you at the awards ceremony.”
Leshawna confronts Harold at the trailers. “Why did you lie to Courtney about Gwen and Duncan?” “Duncan was bugging me!” Harold replied.
“I thought about coming back to you before hearing that. Now I realize you’re a *beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep*! It’s officially over between us, Harold.” Leshawna storms away, as Courtney gasps from behind a tree. She had heard the whole thing. She decides to go see Duncan.
“Duncan?” Courtney opens the door to the confessional as a small stream of water rushes out. “I want to make up.” Duncan immediately sits up. “You want to go out again?”
“Yes. I heard Leshawna confronting Harold about lying to me. She swore at him and broke up. You know, deep down, I knew I couldn't trust that little twerp. I just felt so bad about wrongingly accusing you, so I came. I've never felt this way before.” Duncan is so happy, he passionately makes out with Courtney. Courtney turns to leave, and says, ‘Oh, and your team lost. I think I just might know who you’re gonna vote out.” She smiles and shuts the door.
"All right, Gaffers! All the votes have been cast!” Chris exclaims at the awards ceremony. “And the Gilded Chris’s go to…Heather and Duncan!” Duncan smirks as he catches his award/dessert. “And the final Gilded Chris goes to…Leshawna!”
“WHAT!? You’ll regret this, I’m the one with the mad skills! You’ll PAAAAAY!” Harold screams as he is dragged to the Lame-o-sine.
“Okay, that wraps up this episode of TDA." Chris announces. " Join us next time to see how the Gaffers hold up without Harold’s ‘mad skills’, on TOTAL. DRAMA. ACTION!!!"
Heroes Vs. Villains
“How could you vote out Owen?” yelled Beth as she ate her breakfast.
“He’s no use since he got a broken jaw!” Courtney yelled back.
“Will you two shut up! You’re annoying me!” Heather yelled as she threw her breakfast at them.
“How dare you do that! I am C.I.T!” Courtney yelled as she threw her breakfast at Heather.
“This isn’t a camp anymore and no one cares!” Heather yelled back as she dodged Courtney’s breakfast.
“Calm down, princess.” Duncan said as she grabbed Courtney.
“You two, Heather.” Leshawna said as she grabbed Heather.
“Hello, campers. Are you ready for another challenge.” Chris asked as he walked into the Mess Hall.
“No.” Justin commented.
“Ignoring. Anyways today’s challenge is a super hero movie theme.
“I’ve always wanted to be a super hero. I totally have the body for it.” Lindsay chirped stupidly as she jumped up and down.
“No Lindsay. You’re thinking of a super model. A super hero is someone who has powers and helps people out all day and night.” Beth said as she pretended to be a super hero.
“I’ve got awesome skills like Batman!” Harold announced as he did some ninjas poses but Duncan pushed him over “Gosh!”
“Stop hurting poor Harold.” Leshawna said as she helped Harold up.
“He can do what he wants!” Courtney yelled as she pushed Harold over again.
“Gosh!” Harold screamed.
“Anyways, today’s challenge is the Killer Grips are the heroes and the Screaming Gaffers are the villains. The heroes are trying to catch the villains and put them in jail but the villains are trying to escape them. The heroes get jetpacks to fly and the villains get nothing. Villains get ten seconds and go!” Chris announced as he shot a gun.
“That wasn’t ten seconds!” Duncan yelled
“Who cares?” Chris replied as everyone started running around the area.
“Lindsay and Beth will you two go search the area for villains and report back to me.” Justin said as Lindsay and Beth flew away on their jetpacks.
“It’s so easy to use those two girls and it’s all thanks to my good looks.” Justin confessed.
“I spy with my little eye to girls on jetpacks.” Duncan commented.
“Well, what are you going to do about it?” Heather asked as she hid behind a bush.
“Just watch.” Duncan said as he pulled out a slingshot and two big rocks and hit Lindsay and Beth’s jetpack and broke them.
“We’re going down!” Beth yelled as she covered her eyes.
“This is going to mess up my body!” Lindsay yelled as she covered her eyes as they crashed into the jail and into a cell.
“Nice shot.” Heather commented.
“Get away from my guy!” Courtney yelled as she grabbed Heather and carried her off into the jail.
“Courtney’s tough and hot. What more could a guy want.” Duncan confessed.
“If you’re dropping me in jail, I’m taking you with me.” Heather announced as she pulled off Courtney’s jetpack and they both crashed into a jail cell.
“Hey Leshawna, do you want to walk into jail for me?” Justin asked as he took off his shirt.
“Sure thing.” Leshawna replied as she walked into the jail.
“Don’t do it Leshawna!” Harold yelled as he charged at Leshawna but missed and ran into a jail cell.
“Hello, Justin.” Duncan said.
“Just you and me left.” Justin commented.
“Lets finish this.” Duncan said as he raised a fist.
“Not the face!” Justin screamed as he covered his face.
“Walk into the jail now.” Duncan demanded as Justin ran into the jail screaming like a little girl.
“It looks like the Screaming Gaffers win the reward, a five star dinner in a fancy restaurant.
“Sweet!” the whole team cheered.
“Will Lindsay and Beth recover from the crash? Will Courtney ever not be annoying? Find out next time on Total Drama Action!” Chris announced as the camera shut off.
Speed Go Cart Racer
The remaining contestants (minus Leshawna) we’re all having breakfast in the Craft Service tent. “I don’t get why Courtney would vote off Owen.” said Justin to Beth and Lindsay. “Owen did not do anything wrong.” repl. “Owen did not do anything wrong.” replying Beth a bit upset. “He had a broken jaw and couldn’t do anything!” exclaimed Courtney. “It’s because he was weak from hunger. Besides, he got it unwired when you came back.” telling Beth to Courtney. “Ladies, lets stop arguing and eat breakfast.” said Justin. “Where’s Lefonda?” asked Lindsay to the gaffers. “We don’t know but who needs her.” replied Duncan. “She fake cried so she could win that darn reward!” shouted Heather. “People. Why do we keep fighting?” asked Harold. “We just got problems.” replied Justin. “You just got to forget your problems contestants because your challenge will start soon.” said Chris. “What’s the challenge?” asked Harold. “You remember that getaway race last challenge right?” asked Chris. “Yes.” replied Duncan. “This challenge will be like those movies with racing in it.” said Chris. “You mean like Cars and Speed Racer?” asked Harold. “Yes. Just like that.” replied Chris. “This will be a snap. I can make a perfect car for our team.” said Heather. “Yes but you won’t make a racer like that.” said Chris with a funny look on his face. “What?!” said Heather surprised. “You’ll be making go carts.” said Chris “Yes!” cheered Harold. Everyone including Chris stare at him. “What?” asked Harold. “By the way gaffers. Where’s Leshawna?” asked Chris. “I think she left with Owen.” said Duncan. “Wait a minute.” said Chris remembering something. It cuts to the safe from last challenge. “Hello? Chris? Gaffers? Help!” shouting Leshawna still in the safe. “Chef! Go get her out while I get the challenge started!” Chris shouts as he starts going nuts. Justin and Duncan just sigh. The Killer Grips and Screaming Gaffers are at the top of the giant cliff replica. “Okay contestants. Your first part of the challenge is to build a perfect go cart.” said Chris to the contestants. “What if it’s not perfect?” asked Beth. “Don’t worry. You won’t be judged.” replied Chris. “Okay team. Let’s get to work.” said Courtney to the grips. “Do you think Courtney is telling us what to do?” asked Justin to Lindsay and Beth. They just look confused and scared. Over at the gaffers team they work on their go cart with Leshawna now back. “Leshawna. It’s an elimination challenge so if we lose we’re going to vote you off.” said Heather angry at Leshawna. It cuts to a confessional shot. “I’m extremely tired about this whole conflict thing about me winning that reward. They didn’t get me out of the safe last challenge. I’d figure I’d throw the challenge to get me voted off.” said Leshawna in the confessional. Back at the grips’ area they’ve got a good go cart being made. “My boyfriend would normally help kid with their go carts when they had a race.” said Beth. “I’m still not buying it Beth.” said Justin busy with something. “We’re almost done. Finish up.” telling Courtney to the Grips. “Stop pushing us about It.” said Justin very sweaty. Back at the gaffers team, it’s shown that they have finished. “We did it!” said Harold excited. “Okay. The Gaffers win the first part of the challenge.” said Chris. The Gaffers cheer. “That means that the Grips need to finish their cart so we can get to the second challenge. “We can’t lose again!” shouted Beth. “If we work hard next challenge we could win.” said Courtney. “We should try hard.” said Justin. “Who will win the race? Will the Grips lose yet again? Stay tuned to find out.” saying Chris. The Grips and Gaffers are getting their go carts ready. “Welcome back to Total Drama Action. The two teams are ready to race each others go carts.” The teams get in their carts. “On your marks. Get set. And go!” shouts Chris as he pulls a lever making them roll down the hill very fast. “This is going very fast!” shouts Harold as the wind blows his face funny. “No! My hair will not be smooth!” shouts Justin as it’s going very fast. The Gaffers cart is going very fast that Duncan couldn’t steer well. “I can’t steer! It’s going to fast!” shouted Duncan. “Give it to me!” shouted Leshawna. The Gaffers cart then hit a rock and it flies off the track and crashes. “Ooh. Looks like the Gaffers are disqualified so that means the Grips win.” said Chris. The Grips cheer. “We won!” Beth says as she hugs Justin. He just looks creped out. “Okay. Screaming Gaffers. I’ll see you at the Awards ceremony.” said Chris to the gaffers. They all just look mad at each other. After the Gilded Chris ceremony introduction, Chris gets to the stand while the gaffers vote. “And all the votes are in.” said Chris. Chef gives him the votes in his pink dress looking upset. “Remember. If you don’t get a Gilded Chris, you’re out.” said Chris to the gaffers. They all look at each other. “Gilded Chris’ go to Harold and Duncan.” saying Chris as he hands the Gilded Chris’ to Duncan and Harold. “And the final Gilded Chris goes to…” he pauses. Heather and Leshawna look at each other. “Heather.” Chris says. “Sorry Leshawna. You lost.” said Heather annoying Leshawna. Cuts to confessional shot. “This has been my second favorite day here this season. Gwen’s elimination, and now Leshawna.” said Heather in the confessional. It cuts to Leshawna. “Yeah I just voted myself off because I was tired of this whole conflict with my team. Sorry for leaving you Harold.” Leshawna says in her confessional shot. Leshawna rides off in the lamo-sean with Harold waving goodbye. “What will happen with our contestants next episode? Will Harold survive without Leshawna? Will Justin’s hair get better? Find out next time on Total Drama Action!” Chris says as the episode closes.
The Red Badge of Failure
"Chris is at one of those frilly award shows, so I'm stuck here hosting today," said Chef. "So, Last time on Total Drama Action, Courtney came back, Grips lost, and Fat Boy left. NOW SIT YOUR BUTT DOWN AND ENJOY THE SHOW!"
The remaining contestants(except LeShawna) were eating.
"Do you ever feel like something is missing, but you forgot what it is?" Lindsay asked Duncan.
"Yeah, but then I usually ignore it....." Duncan replied.
"I'm so glad that I'm in the final.....uhhh.....final....." Lindsay counted everyone around her. "final one, two, three, four, five six, seven! Final Seven!" She exclaimed.
"Glad to know you can count all the way up to seven...." Courtney sarcastically muttered under her breath.
"Seven....I thought there were eight of us....." Justin said.
"LESHAWNA!!!" The Gaffers yelled.
"FINALLY!! How long has it been?!?" LeShawna asked angrily when the Gaffers opened the safe.
"Uhhhh.....about a day....." Duncan replied.
LeShawna growled, and the Gaffers then returned to the tent.
"GOOD MORNING, SOLDIERS!!!!" Chef yelled through a megaphone.
"Huh?" Lindsay asked.
"This week's challenge is a military-movie! Oh yeah, Ya'll merge this week, so no more teams," Chef said.
"Finally! The day comes! I don't have to be on a team with dorkbag, weird girl, and the criminal," Heather said in the confessional.
"Today, I will be your drill instructor, so you have to listen to EVERY COMMAND I GIVE YOU! UNDERSTAND???" Chef said.
"This'll be fun...." Duncan sarcastically murmered to Courtney.
"DO YOU HAVE SOMETHIN' TO SAY TO ME, MAGGOT?!" Chef asked Duncan.
"Sir, No, Sir!" Duncan replied.
"Heh heh heh, That's what I thought...." Chef said.
"So, is this gonna be some boot camp challenge or something?" Harold asked.
"Yes. And the last one standing gets invincibility, losers vote someone off, you get it. Now get to the sutdio at 900 hours," Chef said.
The Campers then continued to eat.
"THAT MEANS NOW!!!!! GO, GO, GO!!!!" Chef yelled as the campers ran to the studio.
(More coming soon!)
"Back To The Future...of Total Drama Action!"
Justin and Beth were in the Mess Hall. "You know, Beth, I would love some Faken right now." Justin said. Then he accidentally spilled orange juice all over his shirt. "Oh, now I have to go get a new shirt!" Justin fake whined.
"I'll get the Faken for you!" Beth said nervously. Justin took off something on his shirt that would just peel off when needed. When Beth came back, Justin smiled maliciously.
(confessional) Justin: As long as I use these Stain peel-offs, I can get food without getting up. *takes out Faken* Thanks, Beth!
(confessional) Beth: I admit it, Brady is just a story to get closer to Justin. But I think I scored a few points with him!
Suddenly, all of the cloth walls of the mess hall were revealed as Green Screens, and they became purple designs.
"EEEEK!" Courtney screamed as she walked in. "WHO PUT A RAT UNDER MY PILLOW?"
"You mess with the Owen, you get the Rat." Lindsay shot back.
"Isn't it when you mess with the bull, you get the horns?" Heather asked.
"That too!" Lindsay said.
(confessional) Lindsay: I miss Omar...Owen! I said Owen!
Then all of the lights in the tent went dark. Soon, an ultra-black light shined and Chris was there. "Welcome, Grips and Gaffers, to our Time Travel challenge!" Chris pressed a button and the lights came on. "Today, you'll be competing in 3 challenges: A past, present, and a future challenge! Once at the end of the future challenge, your team wins a movie night, right here, Craft-services tent. Meet me in studio 14 in 5!
"Grips. Gaffers. It's time to compete! You'll be competing in the past, escaping from indian capture! Once outside, it's to the Present, where Chef'll hunt ya down! Once you trap Chef with a homemade trap, the Future is a cyber-themed Race to the flag, where the losing team gets wind of a Gilded Chris ceremony!" Chris opened the door to studio 14.
"Well," Duncan said, "Let's go!"
"We've got a challenge to win!" Leshawna ran in.
Heather ran after Leshawna. "Don't you mean Weave?"
"Shut the heck up, girl!" Leshawna retorted.
"...C'mon, you lazy duds!" Courtney commanded. "Let's go! Go! GO!"
"You're not a very good leader, Corny." Lindsay stated.
"It's Courtney. And 'Corny' is no worse than the *censored*-ness of Admiral *censored*-sy!" Courtney said out of anger.
"Whatever. Let's just go, people go!" Justin said.
"Let's follow Justin!" Beth recommended.
"NO! WE ARE FOLLOWING ADMIRAL LINDSAY, HER HOTNESS!" Lindsay commanded. "NOW COME ON!"
"So...where are the indians?" Duncan asked.
"Right here, Gaffers!" Chris smiled. A bunch of the interns were dressed in costumes.
"Oh, please. Those are just interns in indian costumes." Heather revealed.
"Do you think that the budget allows getting real indians? No. No you didn't." Chris grabbed onto a rope and went out.
"Let's just do this so Shawnie can have her movie!" Leshawna said.
"AIII! DO TO GAI ARRA!" One of the indians blurted.
"AHHHH!" Another responded. Together they attacked Heather.
"HA!" Harold slashed at the interns with a stick.
"Ow, dude, that hurt-I mean, ARRA!" The intern blew his cover.
"C'mon, let's go! Leshawna commanded.
"Admiral, where should we go?" Courtney said sarcastically.
"West. West is best." Lindsay declared. Courtney did a facepalm.
(confessional) Courtney: ...Bleh!
As they headed west, they saw the Gaffers go to the present.
"Yay! The present!" Harold exclaimed. Heather pushed him down.
"If 'Shawnie' wants her movie night, we had better get going." Duncan said.
"Agreed." Heather agreed.
"So...an escape from hunter Chef..." Courtney pondered.
"WEST!" Lindsay interrupted.
"No, we follow Justin." Beth stated.
"No, we follow me!" Lindsay exclaimed.
"You all know that you should be following me. But you're too immature to know who to follow." Courtney said.
"Then why don't you just go off on your own, Corny?" Lindsay said.
"Fine. Maybe I will." Courtney walked away.
"Hmph! Who needs those LOSERS anyway?" Courtney said to herself.
"So, where's Chef? I ain't got all day." Leshawna dared Chef to come out.
"Uh...Leshawna..." Harold shivered.
"Not now, hon!" Leshawna rejected.
"But-" Harold tried to retort.
"Not. NOW." Leshawna turned around, but saw Chef.
"Told ya. NOW START RUNNING!" Harold demanded.
"Hmm...maybe..." Courtney ran after the Gaffers.
"Why is Corny-" Lindsay was interrupted.
"Courtney." Justin corrected.
"-running after the Gaffers?"
"Maybe she switched teams." Beth suggested.
"Nah, Chris would never let her do that." Justin said. "Now follow them!"
(Studio cam room) Chris: Maybe I would...or maybe I wouldn't. Just kidding.
When both teams had made it to the future, Courtney caught up to the Gaffers. "Gaffers!" She was panting.
"What do you want, Courtney?" Harold asked.
"To join your team. Mine's full of COMPLETE DUDS!" Courtney insulted the Grips.
"Maybe...I mean, we do need more players." Duncan suggested.
"For now. We'll see what Chris says." Heather accepted.
"Oh, thank you, THANK you!" Courtney was happy.
"Look! There's the finish line!" Beth exclaimed. The Grips crossed.
"We won!" Lindsay yelled.
"No, not yet. You're missing one player!" Chris told them.
"Courtney left us. Now give us the prize!" Justin demanded.
"If Courtney crosses that line before all of the Gaffers do, you win. Them's the rules." Chris stated.
Suddenly, the Gaffers ran up with Courtney leading. "No! We lost!" Courtney said. Suddenly, a vine dropped into Courtney's hands. She was forced to swing.
"AAAAAAAAH!" A voice yelled. Then a familiar face dropped into the Gaffer's hands.
"IZZY?" Harold asked.
"No...Grips...supposed...win..." Izzy was about to faint. Courtney crossed the line on the vine.
"The Grips win it!" Chris congratulated.
"What do we do with crazy red-head girl and bossy C.I.T?" Leshawna asked.
"Well...Courtney stays with the Grips." Chris confirmed.
"And the Psycho hose Beast?" Heather asked.
"Oh! The Grips voted off Explosivo! Who they DIDN'T vote off was Esquire!" Izzy confirmed.
"Not another scenario...anyway...uh...Izzy's on the Gaffers!" Chris said.
"What? But nooooo!" Izzy whined.
"But yes!" Chris smiled.
At the Gilded Chris ceremony, Izzy was in a bad mood. "Casting time!" Chris said. Everyone voted.
"And the Gilded Chrises go to...Harold and Heather. Not to mention Duncan, and last but not least Leshawna!" Chris confirmed.
"Oh, well. I'LL BE BACK! I WILL! I WILLL!" Izzy exclaimed. She swung away on a vine.
A Mystery to Remember
As the Grips returned from the Guilded Chris ceremony, Justin, Beth, and Lindsay were depressed when they remembered that Owen wasn't here any more. When they returned to camp they noticed Duncan and Harold looked mortified instead of happy.
"What happened guys?" asked Beth.
"It's Heather, she's lying face down in the girl's trailer, and isn't moving!" explained Duncan. They all marched into the girl's trailer where they saw Heather in the same posistion Duncan said she was in. Courtney thought she was bluffing and flipped her over, and saw that Heather was covered in blood.
"Okay, thats creepy, I elect that we all sleep together tonight, in the boy's trailer," said Courtney.
"Ai!" everyone else imidiatly said.The next morning when everyone was awake they noticed that Justin was missing. They opened the door and saw a police car with its siren blaring.
"Crap, its the cops!" screamed Duncan as he ran back into the trailer. The castmates noticed that the girl's trailer was marked off with a police line. The police car 's door opened and Chris dressed up as a police officer with LeShawna hand-cuffed behind him.
"What happened to Justin, and Heather?" asked Courtney, "I demand an explenation, now!"
"All in the name of today's challenge," explained Chris, "Guess what today's genre is, murder mystery movies, or as I call them MMMs!"
"Chris, I was in that bank vault for a whole day, what took you so long to get me out?" LeShawna demanded.
"Umm... Uh... Umm... I Umm... forgot?" Chris meekly said.
"Yeah right whatev," said Leshawna.
"Moving on, this is how this challenge will go down, the Grips your challenge is to make like a detective, and find Justin, and for your challenge, Gaffers you have to make like lawyers and defend Leshawna in the case of Heathers murder, got it, good," explained Chris.
"I can't believe Chris faked Heathers death to do a challenge, I wonder how he did that?" pondered Courtney in the confessional.
"Harold, you're the only Gaffer in sight so you are LeShawna's lawyer!" exclaimed Chris.
"Time to unleash my wicked lawyer skills," said Harold.
"Okay, and Lindsay you have been elected lead detective," Chris said.
"What's a detective?" asked Lindsay.
"Perfect," laughed Chris.
"Why did you chose Lindsay, and not me!" yelled Courtney.
"No comment," answered Chris. The Grips walked off to find Justin.
"Harold, Leshawena follow me your coming to Total Drama... Court!" Chris told them. Chris opens the door to Total Drama Court, which is another old studio, Harold and LeShawna notice that Justin and Chef were sitting in the court too. Chris walked to the place where the judge stands and put on his judge wig. He pointed out the 14 losers sitting on the jury gallery.
"The plaintiff Justin is filing first degree murder on the defendent LeShawna," annouced Chris. Meanwhile back to the Grips... Courtney was blabling on about how she was a C. I. T. and why she should be lead detective. A short montage of the Grips searching up and down everywhere.
"This is taking forever, we need to hurry up and find Justin!" exclaimed Lindsay.
"Its only been 30 minutes!" screamed Courtney. An evil smirk crossed her face, "I think I know where he is!"
At the court room the Grips busted in and saw that Justin was in there so they won the challenge. Chris annouced it was a reward challenge and the reward was a bottle of colonge, while the Gaffer won Heather as a consolation prize.
Fight Night...... Or Day
Chris appears on screen at the trailers and says," Last time on Total Drama Action, two teams, three goals, lots of money! The castmates had to get Owen and Leshawna out of the bank vaults, which the Grips got Owen out, but the Gaffers ditched Leshawna to move on with the challenge. The next part of the challenge was to steal money from a bankteller. Duncan got to the teller, but it was Courtney! After that part, Courtney was put on the Grips. The final part involved building getaway cars. The Gaffers won the challenge, and at the ceremony, I told the Grips not to vote out Courtney, but they did! Courtney's vote only counted, and Owen was eliminated. What will happen next on.....Total Drama Action!"
Everyone is eating at the food tent.
"There is a lot more food now!" Duncan says.
"Well of course, because Owen is gone," Justin replies.
"I miss Omar," Lindsay cries.
"It's Owen, and I thought you miss Tyler," Beth replies.
Lindsay says confused," Who's Tyler?"
Harold asks his teammates," Ever thought that somethings missing?"
"Like what?" Duncan and Heather questioned him.
Back at the vaults.
"I can't believe they have left me here for a day!"
"Harold! Looks like one person from your team has left! Here's a hint! Her name starts with an L!" Courtney yells.
"LESHAWNA!" Harold, Heather, and Duncan yell at the same time. Harold faints as Duncan and Heather go to unlock Leshawna.
"How could you guys? And where's Harold?" Leshawna asked.
"Sorry, we forgot," Duncan said.
"It's bad enough they will try to get me out next time we lose, but they left me in the vault to die! Harold couldn't have even come for me!" Leshawna said in the confessional.
Back at the tent.
"Welcome to the final eight! After this challenge, there will be a merge!" Chris told everyone. Everyone cheered. "But, one of you will be going home tonight!"
“Oh great,” Courtney said in the confessional,” If my team loses, I am going to be voted out!”
“Today will be based off of fighting movies. I will pair everyone up into two. The team that has the most knock outs win!” Chris told everyone.
“Excuse me, but there are more guys than girls!” Courtney told Chris, angrily.
“Hmmmm, I guess a guy has to face a girl.” Chris said.
“That’s not fair!” Duncan replied.
“Yeah!” Justin agreed.
“Okay! First round is Beth and Leshawna!” Chris yelled.
Leshawna throws a punch, but misses. Beth trips Leshawna and knocks her out.
“Beth wins round one!” Chris tells everyone.
“Yay!” Lindsay cheers.
“Next round is,” Chris says,” Courtney and Heather.”
Heather quickly takes down Courtney.
“Heather won that round!” Chris yells.
“That was way too easy,” Heather says in the confessional.
“Round three is Justin and Duncan,” Chris says.
“Don’t punch the face!” Justin says as he falls down.
“Wow…… Duncan won that round!” Chris yells.
“That was a piece of cake,” Duncan says.
“Okay, this round will have Lindsay and Harold. If Harold wins, his team will be victorious, if Lindsay wins, we will have another round,” Chris tells everyone.
Harold charges for Lindsay, but she notices a penny on the ground and bends to grab it. Harold trips over her and gets knocked out.
“Okay, Lindsay won that round!” Chris told everyone,” For the final round, you will have to train like a fighter!”
“What does that mean?” Lindsay asks.
“It means we have to work out, Lindsay,” Heather replies.
“That’s right! The last person standing wins for the team!” Chris tells them.
Lindsay and Harold drop out immediately, followed by Beth and Heather. After fifteen minutes, Leshawna drops out. An hour later, Justin drops out.
“It’s down to Courtney and Duncan!!” Chris says, “It’s time for the treadmill.”
Courtney and Duncan start running on the treadmill.
“Like you’re going to win, princess,” Duncan said, sarcastically.
“Shut it! I know about you and Gwen,” Courtney told Duncan.
“What?” Duncan asked as he stopped running and fell off the treadmill.
“Courtney and the Grips win!” Chris says as Beth, Lindsay, and Justin cheer.
“At least I know I will be moving on,” Courtney said in the confessional.
The ceremony opening sequence goes through, then it shows the ceremony.
“Remember, the person who does not get a gilded Chris will not get a million dollars, nor will they not go to the merge. The first Chris goes to Harold.” Chris announced.
“Yes,” Harold cheered for himself.
“I can’t believe this, but Heather,” Chris said as he threw her the Chris.
“Ha!” Heather said.
“The final Chris goes to Duncan!” Chris announced.
“*sigh* I knew I was out. By everyone!” Leshawna said as she climbed into the Lame-o-sine.
“Stay tuned for the next episode of Total Drama Action!” Chris said as it ends.
Chris tip-toed to the the trailers."Shhhhhh they're sleeping"Then,through his megaphone yelled"WAKE UP CASTMATES!!!"Duncan shrieked and said,"Havent we been through enough?""Let me think...NO!"Chris responded.Duncan growled and got changed."Guess what?Tyler is back in the game!!!"Chris announced""Yay!!!!!"Lindsay said in excitement,then paused,"Wheres Tyler?" "Here",Tyler said,waving his hand.Leshawna said,"how come your letting him back???"Chris said,"Apparantly no skill jocks are popular with fans""I have skill!!!"Tyler excalimed."So as of now all teams are dissolved!!!"Chris exclaimed.They all cheered as Chris directed them to the challenge."What do we do now?"Tyler asked."Todays theme is the racing movies,Chris said."So what do we do?"Harold asked."You will drive around this track 50 times and the first person done wins",Chris explained."Im gonna win this",Courtney said confidently in the confessional.Beth raised her hand"I dont have a drivers liscense yet""Well then youll have to sit out",Chris said.Beth sighed and sat in the bleachers to watch."READY.....GO!!!!!!!!!"Chris yelled waving a flag.Harold and Duncan were in a big battle to start off."Stop it,IDTIOT!!!"Harold exclaimed.Then,while caught up in the moment,Courtney passed the nerd and delingquient."Crap",Duncan and Harold muttered at the same time.Lindsay was still at the starting line,trying to figure out what to do."Hey look at this!!!"Justin yelled to Courtney,who didnt look.Then,Justin sped up and took his shirt off.:So...gorgeous",Courtney said as her car crashed."Take that!",Justin said laughing.Then,out of nowhere Lindsay started to go around the track,alot.She shrieked and the padometer on her car read:49.She was almost done until it stopped.She was reliefed that it was over and continued to figure out what to do.Then,Justin caught up and, FLASH!! The photo was taken and..."Lindsay...you...................................................................WON!!???"Chris said ,confused.Then,Duncan walked to Courtney and said,"Its over." "WHAT???!!!"she said ,shocked."I met someone else,her name is Sunshine",said Duncan as he walked away."Hes dead",Courtney said angrily.Then,at the gilded Chris ceremony Chris passed out the Giled Chris's."One for Lindsay,Beth,and Tyler."Yes!!",Tyler said hugging Lindsay."Are you Tyler??"she asked.Tyler slapped his forehead and ate his Gilded Chris."Leshawna and Harold!"Chris exclaimed."Yes!!!!!"Harold yelled in excitement as he got hit in the face."Lets get an instant replay of that",Chris said as it rewonded to show Harold get hit in the face in slow mo."Anyway,Heather and Justin,youre safe",said Chris.Duncan gulped and looked at Courtney,she looked back and smiled evily."He is going down",Courtney said in the confessional."SWEET!!! My two worst enemies in the bottom two!!This is the best day of my life",Harold said in the confessional."This is my first confessional,ever,it feels weird but cool.Looks like Courtney is going home tonight",Tyler said in the confessional."Courtney,youre safe",Chris said."Well I can go back to Sunshine now,bye guys",Duncan said hopping in the lame-o-sine.
Total Drama: The Last Stand (Parody of X Men: The Last Stand) I'm sorry, but I will not be able to have a story up this week. I'm very busy, I might not have next week's either.
Week 2 Characters
Yugi, labeled as The Psychic, is a hopeful to join the Total Drama series.
When he was five years old, Yugi developed a talent for solving jigsaw puzzles. He won a local tournament for "Speed Puzzling" which is a competition to see who can solve puzzles the quickest. One night, he woke up screaming, saying that he had a nightmare that his pet dog died. The next day, the dog ran away and it is assumed he died. A week later, he had a nightmare that he was surrounded by fire. The next day, his local library caught on fire while he was walking past it. He has decided that he must be psychic. He doesn't leave the house much because of some of the terrible things he sees. He lives with his grandparents because his parents think he's crazy and don't love him.
An elderly woman is seen on the screen. The camera itself is shaking. The woman stands in front of a closed door. "Stop shaking the camera, Abe," she says.
"I'm trying, woman!" the old man holding the camera shouts. "Dang arthritis."
The old woman knocks on the door. "Yugi, dear?" she asks sweetly.
"Go away," a voice from behind the door comes.
"Why don't you come outside?" she asks. She pulls a pamphlet out of her pocket. She squints at it. "Come out of you room. We want to sign you up for Total Drama..." She squints more. "Island! Total Drama Island!"
"Sounds like a show for hippies and punks," the old man holding the camera says.
"I don't wanna go," Yugi shouts from his room. "I had a vision of what will happen! I saw a breakfast that smiles back at you, a giant beast that emits toxic fumes, and an evil sorceress."
"The boy's crazy," the old man uttered.
"It says on this pamphlet 'Crazy Kids Wanted,'" the old lady says, reading from the pamphlet.
- Despite being accepted to Total Drama Island, Yugi was deemed to crazy and put into psychotherapy.
- Because of the uneven numbers, DJ, who the producers thought was the "perfect teammate," would go to the winning team as a bonus reward.
- Yugi's parents left him when he was seven.
- Yugi only has a small group of friends. They made him promise to stop "freaking (them) out" by talking about his visions. He did so, but he says he could have stopped one of them from being in a car crash. Nobody believed that.
- Yugi was named after Yugi Moto from Yugioh.
Label: The Multiple Personalties Disorder Kid
Bio: Joey was a normal kid until his thirteenth birthday, when the family dog, just adopted from the shelter, pushed him down and attacked him. He got out with minor injuries, but he developed MPD, turning into Joey, a psychopathic violent punk, and Joseph, an A student and complete gentleman.
Personality: Joey/Joseph is on a short fuse, switching between personalities at random. Joseph is mild-mannered, a hard worker, and respectful of his parents. Joey on the other hand, doesn't care at all about his grades, is very threatening, will beat up any thing in his path, and comes very close to abusing his parents and little sister.
Why He Auditioned: Joseph auditioned to pay off his mountain of therapy bills.
Audition Tape: A boy with red and yellow hair so crazily done it could belong in an anime is standing in front of the camera with a slight grin. "Hey, I'm Joseph. I know I have weird hair, don't even ask. I'm trying out because I want to help my family pay off my huge pile of therapy bills. Again, don't ask."
A girl's voice is heard off-screen,
"Joey, reember what mom said about cameras and how you shouldn't be talking into them for long periods of time."
Joseph's eyes suddently started to burn with rage.
"Look you little brat, I don't need anybody telling me what to do. Run along before I mash your sniveling little face in."
The girl does as she's told, and Joey turns to the camera,
"Okay, Total Drama people, put me on, or your pretty boy host will be found in a drainage ditch in a rural area," Joey says while pointing a finger at the camera. He then shuts off the camera.
Name: Hairuki Mitsuhara
Label: The Heritage Warrior
Bio: Hairuki was born in Tokyo, Japan. Her father had a high position in his company and was offered a transfer to an American office. He eagerly accepted, anticipating the new life in America. Hairuki began attending a very elite private school, where all of the people were friends and nobody dislike anyone. Soon after, Hairuki’s father’s company went bankrupt, after a large stock market crash in Japan. Hairuki was forced to go to a public school, where she was teased for her Japanese heritage. Hairuki had no friends, and became a very sad girl. Her father told her about this show, and she eagerly auditioned, not only to meet a wide variety of people from a wide variety of places, but to earn the money so that she could attend the private school again, so that she could feel a sense of belonging once more.
Personality: Hairuki is a sweet girl. She is very tender and caring. However, she has a tendency to shy away from other kids, especially after what had happened at the public school. She, if provoked, can stand up for herself in a violent manner, yet, most of the time, she remains very quiet and sweet.
Why She Auditioned: Hairiki auditioned so that she might be able to find some friends that accepted her. She also joined to get enough money to attend the private school once again.
Hairuki is pictured in her bedroom, sitting amongst many stuffed animals. On the walls are posters of Japanese singers and movie posters. She is listening to her ipod. She picks up a stuffed animal and holds it in her arms. She takes out the headphones from the ipod, and stands up, “Konichi wa. My name is Hairuki Mitsuhara. I would love to be on your television show to meet new people, and experience new things. I would also like to earn enough money to attend a private school that I once attended, but now cannot, for my family has fallen into a deep economic crisis. At my new public school, I have been mocked for my cultures daily and no longer wish to experience such torture. I am begging you, from the bottom of my heart, to please let me be on your show, so I may feel a sense of belonging once more. Thank you.” She bows to the camera and the camera shuts off.
Name: Bernie "Burn" Kowalski
Personality: Bernie is a mean kid. He has always threatened to burn something down if he doesn't get what he wants.
Biography: Bernie was born and raised in San Francisco, California. He was a nice baby, but that was until he found out about fire. When he was five years old, his older brother made a bonfire. He was amazed about the fire. So he wanted to play with fire; he found a lighter and burned down his house. His parents removed most flammable objects from their re-built home. He was so mad, that he almost burnt down his school. To control his urge to burn things, his parents sent him to boot camp. However it mysteriously burned down. So he went to another boot camp, it did not burn down, and his parents think he is an angel. He currently spends all of his time locked up in his room to think of ways to burn objects without his parents figuring out. He has no friends.
Why He Auditioned: Bernie auditioned for Total Drama Island because needed time a way for his parents. His older brother told him about Total Drama Island. He wasn't very interested until he burnt his house down. So he decided to audition.
Audition Tape: The camera turns on to reveal two fire trucks. Then it cuts to three firemen with a hose trying to put the fire out. Then the camera goes to a teenage boy.
"Hey! I'm Bernie. You can call me "Burn". I want to join Total Drama Island to get away from my parents! I sort of burnt down my house again! My parents seem really mad!" Bernie was then interrupted by his parents.
"Please accept him! I beg you!" His mom pleaded.
"We don't want to sound like bad parents or anything, but Bernie is not very nice to us!" His dad explained
"Plus, he has burnt our house down!" His mom said.
"Twice!" His dad added.
"Beat it!" An enraged Bernie yelled.
"So accept me! Or I will hunt you down, and burn down your studios!" Bernie threatened. "Bye!"
The camera then turns off.
(Uh, is it okay that I didn't use profile format?)
Taña (tänyuh) Enivalta was born on March 27, 1993 and is currently 17 years old. Taña is an only child. She was born in Mexico, but soon immigrated to America in 1999 after some troubles with her family.
When Taña stepped her first real step in America in early 2000, she knew she loved it. Her family knew she loved America as well, and they decided to combine her passion of music (she had sung several times while doing something else, and good, too) with fame. Before she knew it, Taña was delivered a tasty meal for breakfast, but that didn’t last long because she had to hop into a taxi for various opera performances. Taña didn’t enjoy opera as much as she did the traditional Mexican songs, but at least she got to show off her musical passion in a way that would make her parents proud.
Then one day, Taña’s uncle came to visit. He was quite elderly, and according to her father, was “the most stuck-up child I ever knew as a kid”. After everyone ate dinner together, Taña’s uncle and mom left the room. When they came back, Taña figured that was just something pretty unimportant, and went back to eating.
Well, boy, was she wrong. A week later after getting shot by a tranquilizer dart a few hours earlier, Taña found herself in a dark, cardboard box that said her name on it…right in front of the “New York Orphanage of Arts.” She knew that this was what her uncle and mother had been talking about and saw hatred to the place almost immediately. Slowly, Taña’s shining acting career faded, and soon she lost her musicality, too. She greeted everyone with drips of sarcasm and took a notable disliking to them after that.
Then one day, Taña found a discarded audition application for Total Drama Island. She didn’t think she had a shot at it, but she had an old friend named Justin from Mexico who she knew would be perfect. She sent him an e-mail with the flyer attached and grinned for the first time in a long time.
Unfortunately, just as Taña had sent that e-mail, a computer hacker had found out the password for everyone on the e-mailing website in New York. Even more unfortunate, the hacker chose to mess up Taña’s account instead. The result of the text differed greatly, as the e-mail now seemed to be a letter to the producers of TDI saying that Taña wanted to get on the show, and the flyer was now an application filled out. Not only did the producers allow her to make an audition tape, but poor Taña never realized this. She ended up with an unfortunate take on the subject: one, she could’ve tried to win a million bucks, and two, the Justin she suggested never got on, and was replaced by another kid named Justin, who looked an awful lot like Taña’s uncle, the one who sent her to the orphanage in the first place.
Name-Miki (the, sweet, kind, and very friendly girl)
Personality- Miki is really kind and sweet but she doesnt have much friends. She is also smart and always makes up ideas.
Why did she audtion- Miki audtioned because she wanted to join and make more friends and so she could make her little brother proud. His wish was to see his sister be on TV/
Background- Miki was born in the United States and then moved to Canada. She is Japanese and occasionaly goes to Japan for vacation. Her little brother became sick and was diagonosed with cancer and she became really depressed. She continued to be bright and cheerful as she learned being postive would make things better. Over time her family needed money to support her brother than the worse struck; he needed a transplant soon in order to survive. The cost was really expensive so they needed money. When Miki found a form to this reality show she quickly signed up.
Miki- Hi im Miki and I would love to join another season of Total Drama Musical. I wanted to join because my little brother needs a transplat for is cancer *tears start welling up* and i wanted to help him by being postive and giving him the money to help him so please accept me for your show *bursts in tears and the camera is shut off*
Name: Archie Axel labled The Bully with a Soft Side.
Background: Axel’s father put pressure on him to be the best at everything; he strongly dislikes him for this. Axel became a bully because his Dad always told him that he was soft, he took most of his anger out on the other children at school and didn’t have many friends however Axel is very musically talented. He kept this as a secret because his Dad thought music was for girls.
Personalty: Axel is tough and strong although he has a soft side who enjoys music and art. He hides this from his Dad though.
Why he Auditioned: Axel auditioned because he wanted to show his Dad that he wasn’t a wimp, he would enjoy having the money and could show people that he isn't a bad person.
"Hi I'm Axel!" He happily said.
"What are you doing now Archie?!" A voice from another room snapped.
"Err...I like music art and-." He was interrupted by a shout.
"Boy what are you doing?!" An ageing man screamed.
"I’m auditioning for a realty show, Dad." He whimpered.
"Oh, okay show em’ your wicked athletic moves son!" The man proudly said.
"Okay Dad." said Axel with a sigh as the man walked away. When the man was gone Axel brought out a violin and started to play beautifully.
"I love music but my Dad hates it so I have to hide it but if you pick me I’ll do anything! Absolutely anything I’m very daring!" He said.
(I'm not finished yet)
Background: Born in rural China, Jamie was tossed onto a cargo ship as an infant, arriving on the beaches of Nova Scotia a month later. Her adoptive parents, Frank and Bonnie, were very surprised by her love of water, as they had believed her experience on the cargo ship had traumatized her for life. As Jamie grew older, she fell in love with her Chinese culture, spending hours designing custom clothes that made her feel like she was in China again. Once Jamie started junior high, teachers started thinking of her as a nuisance. She would always ask to learn about China in history, and complained about the lack of Chinese characters in ELA. She was expelled 3 days after starting 6th grade. Jamie joined a swimming group, and surprised everyone by making it to the Junior Olympics at the age of 14. She got a silver medal in 400m swim, losing to a boy named Alex. Jamie developed a crush on him, and they recently started going out.
Personality: Jamie loves anything remotely oriental. She has a full set of China dolls, Japanese plushies, and magna books. Jamie is also very talkative, earning the award for Most Likely to Rack up Their Parent’s Phone-Bill in 5th grade. She loves her parents very much, however, they can’t stand her at all, and they moved into a motel when Jamie was 15.
Audition: There is a knock on Chris McLean’s door. “Oh, great, more advertizing companies trying to get me to endorse their latest cosmetics. Why can’t they understand that true beauty comes with a great smile, amazing taste in clothes, and some hair gel?” He reluctantly opens the door. A Chinese girl with a creepy smile on her face starts speaking extremely fast.
“Hi! I’m Jamie! I heard you were traveling around the world in Total Drama: The Musical! I just LOVE China and I’ve always wanted to go there. See, when I was a baby, I was accidently sent on a cargo ship to Canada! Ooooooooh, and did you know that I have an incredibly long and boring last name? It’s…”
“SHUT UP ALREADY!!!” Chris exclaims. “If you put a sock in it for once, I’ll give you a guaranteed spot on the show, all right?”
“Ooooooooooooh, COOL!!! Well, I’ll see you when production begins! Or maybe sooner! I mean, I might run into you at the mall, or at the grocery…” Chris slams the door shut. “Uh, Chris? I think the wind blew your door shut. Hello? Hello? ” Chris turns to look at the camera.
“Phil, PLEASE tell me you weren’t recording this.” Phil shakes his head. “Well, delete the tape, all right? Now get out of here. It’s time for me to get a fresh bottle of hair gel. JUST GO!!!” The camera turns to static.
Personality: Jack is a very high energy and very wild person.
History: Jack's Dad is a daredevil and when he saw his dad perform at one of his show he wanted to be just like him which is why he does all these crazy things.
"Hi my name is Jack and the reason I should Total Drama Cruise is because of my crazy personality!" Jack yelled as the camera shows a boy on top of a giant snowy mountain.
"Stop talking to the camera and go!" yelled someone in the background as Jack goes down the mountain and off the ramp and does three flips but falls on his but and starts rolling down the mountain and makes a big snowball.
"That was awesome!" Jack yelled as he reached the bottom of the mountain.
"Great mess up!" yelled the same voice as the camera changed to his neighborhood.
"Now I'm going to run and jump off that trampoline over there do a flip over a tall brick wall and land in the small pool of water." Jack said as he jumps off the trampoline and crashes into the wall and he tries again and flips over the wall but lands on the ground and he tries one more time but the trampoline breaks and he falls in the ground.
"Loser!" yelled the same voice from nowhere.
"Thats why you should pick me for your show. Party at my house!" Jack yelled as everyone watching him fail on his stunt runs with him to his house.
Title: The rock star kid
Personality: A rock star kid who’s the guitarist of his band. He’s good at PE and Science class.
Bio: Flare is a fifteen year old boy who’s a punk rocker in his band “The demolishers”. He has a liking for Shadow the Hedgehog and decided to make his hair like his. However, the dye he used failed and turned his hair blonde along with red. He decided to call himself Flare due to his hair style. He normally used his Flare name in his band to make him look cool. His real name is yet to be revealed.
Why TDI and TDA? : He wanted to get more money so that he can by more equipment for his band.
Audition tape: The Demolishers band is practicing when Flare goes by playing his guitar. “Hey! I’m Flare. I think I should really be on Total Drama Island!” he yells while the band is playing.
“So I think I should be perfect in this show!” he shouts.
“What is that racket!” shouted someone.
“Sorry dad!” Flare shouted.
“That’s why I think you should pick Me.” he continued. It fades out and the band starts playing again.
The Downfall: Unfortunately Flare never got in as shown that he got replaced by Duncan. He tried to get in the show before the first episode but ended up getting arrested for it and he never made it back ever since.
The Trading card Nerd
Yosaka Hakusake used to be an average boy. That is, until he turned 12. His best friend gave him a pack of Yoko Hawakasane Trading cards. He quickly became obsessed, and collected every single card he could find. He dyed and styled his hair to emulate the main character. His parents signed him up for Total Drama Island to get him away from Yoko Hawakasane.
The Audition takes place in Yosaka's bedroom
Yosaka: Hey, I'm Yosaka. My parents forced me to sign up for this, but I don't see the reason. Just because I have a slight interest in a card game--
Yuki(Yosaka's sister):*enters room* Slight' interest?! You have got to be kidding. You have Yoko Hawakasane pajamas!
Yosaka: Get outta here, Yuki!
Yuki: Ok! Fine! *leaves room*
Yosaka: Finally, She's gone. So, I guess that's it! Bye!
- camera turns off*
Title: The rich girl
Personality: Has a large temper, but is really nice when you get to know her.
Biography: July was born from a family of rich people, and recieved a wholesome education. When she was 11, her parents died and left her with a lot of money. She was sent to live with her poor godparents. She was not allowed to use her money there.
How she ended up on TDA: During a run through a tunnel to escape from her godparents, she thought that she was out of their grasp and started digging up. Her head propped up in Chris's trailer, and she forced him to let her on by threatening to tear up the trailer with her shovel.
Stereotype: "The Delusional guy"
Personality: He thinks that Yu-Gi-Oh monsters are real.
Biography: When he was a little kid he bought a pack of Yu-Gi-Oh cards, and his older brother told him stories of how those monsters ate humans and how they would chase them around. He got it stuck in his head and now thinks they are real and thinks they chase him.
How he got on TDM: After Total Drama Action, he was running away from the monsters and bumped into Chris, and Chris responded by saying, "What was that for?". Yu-Gi-Oh responded by saying, "You got to safe me from the monsters!". Chris looked behind him and laughed when he saw that nothing was behind him and said he'd offer him "protection" at Total Drama, The Musical.
Label: Strong Crazy Dude
Personality: He's strong, but crazy!
Hi! I'm Mike!
I used to be the quarter back for my football team, but I got kicked off for hurting everyone on the field
People say I'm crazy, but I'm not just that! I'm strong see?
(Lifts up a box full of ten gallons of milk)
I guess that people don't look after the fact that I'm crazy!
Anyways, I hope you pick me! (Throws the box on a cow)
Stereotype:"The macho man"
Personality: Mike is a guy who is seen either lifting weights,doing push ups,or something else athletic.He was so athletic that he skipped 3 grades because of his grade in PE.
"Im Mike!!!! And I like doing anything thats got anything to do with sports",says Mike,lifting weights.
"Let me on Total Drama Island or I will sue!!!!!!!!!"He says in an angry voice.
"Anyway,Im not afraid of anything",Then,a voice is heard
"MIKE GET DOWN HERE AND TAKE OUT THE TRASH"
Mikes voice becomes squeaky as he says,"Yes dad"
Week 3 Articles
Geoff: Mmm... You kiss like heather!
Bridgette: What did you just say?
Geoff: *off-panel* Ah! It hurts!
Ezekiel: I didn't think a spine could bend like that, eh.
Noah: It can't...
Where Are They Now
Just recently, non-qualifying Total Drama contestant Noah Barnes was seen... in a bookstore! Well of course he was, anyways Noah was also seen in a local mall with another contestant, better known as... Katie Travers. This is perplexing as Noah has personally said he finds her annoying. Even more perplexing is the fact that Katie was seen without Sadie. Without excessive bawling! This intrepid reporter also caught snippets of conversation such as "Katie, your acually pretty cute when you and Sadie aren't annoying me. Speaking of Sadie, aren't you sad she's not around today?" followed with this reply, "Aww silly, I've got you," then followed by Noah putting his arm around Katie's shoulders. I didn't get the rest because this reporter was too busy bouncing off the walls with excitement knowing he was on something and another employee, who will not be named*, had now lost a bet that Noah would never like a girl. And this concludes Where Are They Now, read next week as I interview Cyndi Lauper. And try to comprehend she's in her 50's**!
- said employee is a figment of my twisted imagination.
- Seriously, I can't comprehend that Cyndi Lauper's 50! She's the type who seems forever young. If you have no idea who she is, disregard the last two sentences.
Where are They Now?
Sadie. She qualified for season one, but did not make the cut for season two. So what happened to this shrieking, plus sized dynamo? Today, Sadie is a player in the fashion industry. She and her BFFFL Katie have invented a line of clothing that is both Victorian and contemporary at the same time.
Not only does Sadie design outfits, she models. That’s right; Sadie models all of her outfits in the plus, or gargantuan, sizes. Katie models the clothing in the sizes for smaller people.
To add to her amazing outfits, Sadie started her own line of cosmetics called “Simply Sadie.” These were very short-lived products, as Sadie received several complaints about rashes and mold on the areas where her products were applied.
Not only does Sadie have style, but she also has talent. She has created her own spin-off series called “The World According to Sadie,” in which Sadie tells everybody what she thinks is in, and what is out. Currently on the “in” list are…
- White Lipstick
- Sequined Shoes
- Burger King
- Cream of Wheat
- Shredded Wheat
- Mini Wheats
- Whole Wheat
- And of course, Sadie’s own invention, Wheat Sticks.
It is unknown when Sadie developed her taste for wheat. It is also unknown why white lipstick is on the list. Nobody’s worn it since the sixties, not even Sadie’s worn it.
Sadie has become a well-respected fashion icon, world renounced TV show host and a common household name. When we confronted her, and asked about her success, Sadie had this to say, “EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!” We’re not sure what it means, but that’s okay.
That’s all for this installment of “Where Are They Now?” Join us next time when we tackle court-happy, snippy, CIT, and possible convicted felon, Courtney.
Last time on Total Drama Action, the Gaffers were still mad at Leshawna for lying to get a reward, and the Grips were happy. Heather and Duncan were making rude comments to Leshawna, who eventually left the cafeteria. Leshawna was kidnapped and soon followed by a starving Owen. Leshawna and Owen were then locked in a vault, the first part of the challenge, open the vault and get them out. The Gaffers were fighting on who should try to get the vault open, either Heather or Harold. Duncan was ashamed that they forgot that he was a criminal. The Grips were stumped, they couldn’t get it open. Owen who was begging for food was going crazy inside the vault. Beth had an elixir that smelled like roast chicken. So the Grips put the elixir in the ventilation system, for Owen to smell. He went crazy! He ripped open the vault door and demanded food. The Grips headed to the second part of the challenge, robbing the bank. The Gaffers were still fighting, and then Duncan realized they don’t need Leshawna. The Gaffers left Leshawna in the vault. The Grips were handicapped by Owen’s food craving. They had to find anything that could pass off as food. While they were gathering food, the Gaffers made bank-robbing equipment, and headed to the bank. Duncan got the surprise of his life when he found out who the teller was! Courtney! Courtney is back in the game after a successful lawsuit against the producers! The Grips finally arrived at the bank to see that the Gaffers were already there. The Gaffers got first prize, fake money, and the Grips got second prize, Courtney. Chris then revealed the third part of the challenge, build a getaway go-kart and make it to the finish first. The Gaffers started off strong. The Grips weren’t doing so well. The Gaffers built there go-kart and got driving. The Grips followed. The Gaffers had a huge lead, but Courtney wouldn’t give up. The Grips caught up, and it was a close race to the finish! The Gaffers go-kart broke down, but the Grips did not cross the finish line! The Grips crashed and the winners were the Screaming Gaffers! At the Gilded Chris Ceremony, It was revealed that Courtney had invincibility because of her lawyer, and they could not vote her off. However, Owen, Beth, Justin, and Lindsay couldn’t resist voting for Courtney. There was only one vote left, and that was for Owen! Courtney voted for Owen because he lost them the challenge. Owen gave his farewell speech, and Lindsay, Beth, and Justin threw their Gilded Chris’s at him! Leshawna was still in locked in the vault, confessing that what she did was wrong. Who will win next? Who will let Leshawna out of the vault? All this and more on the next episode of Total Drama Action!
(My picture isn't uploading so I'm just writing the words.)
Guy off-screen: Hey, Iz--Izzy? Is that you?
Guy off-screen: But you're crazy!
Izzy: I turned normal.
Guy off-screen: Okay, see you around.
(Izzy takes off her gray, fancy shirt to reveal the shirt she wore on TDI as her eye noticably twitches)
Izzy: (body is shown swinging on a vine) BWAHAHAHAHA!
(do you guys mind if i do the Advice Column??? if i can great!)
I have gotten a reputation of being backstabbing I did something a while ago to get something and now no one trusts me, what should I do?
-Sister with moves
Dear Sister with moves,
If you’ve gotten yourself this label, well it’s hard to get a new reputation I would know, even more so if you’ve hurt anyone emotionally then the first step forward is saying sorry to try and convince them you’re not all cold-hearted. Have more fun, loosen up a little and try not to insult or hurt anyone. Remember if you do nice things for people then eventually they’ll forgive you and start to trust you more, misuse friendship and it will blow up in your face remember that...
Best of Luck,
My girlfriend was away for a while but she came back, yeah you think this is good? Well I’ve been hanging around with this other girl and my girlfriend thinks I’m going out with her! So I’m really nervous and don’t know what’s going to happen!
Sounds like you’ve gotten yourself quite a problem; if she’s jealous of you spending so much time with this other girl then you should start to spend a little more time with your girlfriend. Convince her that you and this other girl are just friends; maybe buy her a gift or something. Tell the other girl what’s going on too if she doesn’t already know.
Hello, fashionistas of the world! It’s me, your favorite style reviewer, Chimmy Charific! Today, we’ll be reviewing the style of Duncan, a character on the hit show Total Drama Island, and its sequel Total Drama Action. This bad boy is extremely popular with fans, especially with a certain ravioli pixie. So without further ado, here is my review!
Facial Features: Wow. You would think piercings would ruin an outfit. But this delinquent know how to accessorize! Usually I would classify a person with a unibrow under ‘ugly’, but in this case, au contraire! A smooth jaw line is always a refreshing site for sore eyes, and this vandalizer has some lovely blue eyes. A small beard is a nice contrast to those crystal clear pools of blue. But the real highlight of his face is his hair. Black hair seems normal enough, until you notice his mountain of a green mohawk! In my opinion, the mohawk really ties it all together. It makes his face what it is! Facial Features: 10/10
Clothing: Does a spiked dog collar equal major fashion statement? Of course! Bold move, Duncan. Bold move. Your style seems pretty casual, and that’s good. It’s not like you’re attending The Oscars. Skulls are normally frightening to the normal palette, but your shirt is punk and stylish at the same time! Shoes can make or break an outfit, and you chose well. Your pants, however, seem a little too plain. Next time, choose some pants that compliment your shirt and don’t get in the way of escaping from Juvie when you need to. But overall, a great outfit. Clothing: 9/10
Overall: 9.5/10 Amazing style, Duncan! It isn’t too often I find someone like you, and it’s even rarer that that person’s on parole! Keep in mind that your pants need some sprucing up, and you can go all the way in the fashion world!
All right, it’s time for my review to come to a close. But I’ll be back next week with a review of some BFFFL’s that prove custom design trumps all! Always remember, even YOU can be a fashion star with a belt or some hair clips! Bye-bye!
Oceans Eight or Nine
In the episode of TDA the remaining campers have to do a multiple challenge like opening a safe, robbing a bank, and riding away on a get away car. Before the challenge they get a special surprise that some may like and some may not. Beth continues to go about her imaginary boyfriend and Chris yet again curses. A good part of the episode is when Owen imagines that his teammates are giant pieces of food making him run fast at them. This episode is the first episode to feature individual elimination but if you want to find out who wins and who loses you have to find out by watching the new episode of Total Drama Action!
Front Page Story
Say it isn’t so!
Just recently we had a bank heist challenge for our eight remaining contestants. But the number of contestants we had was increased to nine when old comer Courtney had came back due to a successful lawsuit against us. Courtney was the bank teller of the challenge and she decided the Gaffers win the first part of the challenge, but she immediately became second prize because she was a new team member for the Grips. Ha ha. Didn’t see that coming. Also the Gaffers we’re missing a player due to traitor Leshawna was still a problem to them and ended up keeping her in a safe for the rest of the day. The Grips had problems as well due to that Owen is still weak from hunger even after getting his jaw un wired. Anyway the Gaffers and Grips had to do a car chase getaway for last challenge. Even though it looked like the Gaffers were going to lose it due to crashing into multiple props, they still won the challenge against the Grips yet again. The Grips were going to get rid of Courtney from their team but due to her being immune and her vote was for Owen it was goodbye Owen. The Grips were sad to see him go so we gave him a special speech for him. What will happen to our last eight contestants? Find out next episode on Total Drama Action!
Crazy Girl's Fashion - Izzy's Fashion Reviewed
This story looks at the fashion of a girl, currently number eight on the RCMP's most wanted for blowing up a kitchen, has gone by 4 different names, and has been a smash hit with fans in season 2 especially. Today's fashion story is about a scottish girl named Izzy, a natural redhead with a unique personality and fashion. Saying that she stands out is an understatement! She was a contestant on both TDI and TDA, and returned in both of them! So, here you go; Izzy's wild style, reviewed!
Her tank top is something that looks like forest green, going well with her wild and adventurous personality. Not to mention the fact that she hides from the RCMP in the forest sometimes. A nice touch proving her feminine side is the upside-down heart. And it really matches her eyes!
Tank Top: 9/10
Her skirt is strongly nature-themed, as it appears to look like it's made of vine. It's a nice compliment to her top, undoubtedly. But, after all, wild girls need wild skirts! It also matches the color of her wristband nicely. It isn't bland at all, compared to some other of the contestant's legwear.
Her hair is an orange-red color, and looks like it hasn't been brushed for days! Then again, she is a wild girl! But there are nice curls in her hair that make up for it...or maybe they're the same! However, it goes with her style yet contrasts. She's the only red-head in the show, so it definitely stands out! A bold statement, Izzy, a bold statement indeed. She's also wearing orange lipstick, so this matches well!
There'd have been a lot of more coverage, but there's really not much to say about Izzy's clothing. In one statement, everything ties together very nicely. I hope you'll read next time when a bossy C.I.T. gets her fashion reviewed in a segment called C.I.T's Fashion - Courtney's Fashion Reviewed. Nice style, Izzy! You don't need to change a thing!
Died Sept. 09, 2007
MUSKOKA --- Bunny, a few years old, passed away at the dock of shame on Sunday, Sept. 09, 2009. Bunny was born at an unknown date, in Wawanakwa Island, to unknown parents. Bunny met Devon Joseph (DJ) on Aug. 09, 2009, in Wawanakwa Island. It loved spending time with its family and DJ. Bunny is deeply missed by DJ. He died from being aten by a snake, which was grabbed by an eagle... which was aten by a shark. Geoff, was taking care of Bunny, when it met its demise.
Mr. Coconut, of Total Drama Island in Moskoka, has recently passed away. He was cut in half by Chef Hatchet, the cook on the reality show Total Drama Island. Mr. Coconut only had one friend, Owen, the winner of the show. But, Mr. Coconut died before he could see Owen win.
Week 4 Stories
Ivan sat on a park bench next to a pale boy in a black hoodie and hat. Instead of wearing a shirt that read “TDI,” Ivan’s shirt said “Total Drama Convention.” “Hi, why are you here?” Ivan asked anxiously. The boy pointed at a yellow sign that read “BUS STOP” in bold black letters. “Me too!” Ivan said happily. The boy in the hoodie rolled his eyes.
Soon, the two boarded the bus, going to the Total Drama Convention. All the greatest from the Total Drama series would be there. Ivan was not invited as one of the greatest, but wanted to meet everyone. Ivan sat with the quiet boy. “I can’t wait for the convention! How about you?” Ivan asked. The boy in black nodded his head, and looked back out the window. Several other fans on the bus were staring at the boy in black, but Ivan didn’t notice.
When the bus stopped, the boy in black wandered off away from Ivan and Ivan looked around excitedly for the contestants. A little girl in purple overalls walked up to him and asked, “Do you know who that was?”
“No, why?” Ivan asked back.
“That was Dyl! The winner of Total Drama Paradise! You were sitting next to him the whole time.”
Ivan’s jaw dropped. “No!” he shouted. He dropped to the ground and started crying.
Ivan later decided that he was unworthy to be a reality show fan, and moved on to idolizing giant pandas.
Diary of a Smart Bookworm (Andrea, not Noah or me. I read constantly too. And I is very smart XD LOL jk, I am smart though) (I'm also aware that somebody already did a diary entry. The idea seemed cool.)
Last night, I finished "Airborn". It was probably one of the most facinating books I've ever read. So facinating, I had a dream that I was in it last night. Maybe I should find something else to read, that should be easy considering Han.
Today was normal. Not for you, but for me, considering who my friends are. My morning was uneventful, but when I got to school, it was nonstop chaos. Apparently Han and Izzy teamed up and got revenge on Heather for something I don't know about. Their revenge was thowing water balloons filled with acrylic paint at Heather, then handing them out to everyone else to hit Heather with in the school's courtyard. Then Heather took one of the balloons and threw it at them, but it missed and hit Greg and Brenda... Or I think that's their names. They took two, and missed Heather and hit Lucas, who hit Daisy, who hit Christin, who hit Donald..Duncan, it's Duncan, who hit the Bride of the Hulk herself. Eva then threw the whole tub of balloons back at Duncan, but it hit Callie... Charlotte...Caroline..Courtney, yeah Courtney who got covered in paint all over. Then this Dylan kid who wants to be called "Nalyd" laughed at her, so Courtney took a balloon from Izzy at hit him in the face. Courtney had to go home because she couldn't go to class in her paint covered clothes. Everybody else got detention. Where was I? I was cowering under a picnic table, which explains why I got ABC gum on my hand of all places. My classes were eneventful, except for two. In English, my favorite class, Han wasted the whole period explaining why Han Solo beats squirrels. Then in Home Ec, Izzy set off a roman candle she made herself. Turns out she runs a kiosk in the mall called "Explosivo's Homemade Fireworks". Mental note: Stay away from there. Well, the rest of school was uneventful, surronded by people with sanity. I loooooove sanity. Well after school Han dragged all of us to the go-kart track. That didn't end well because I'm known for wrecking half the Costco when my dad gave me driver's lessons in the parking lot. On the second lap, I swerved and T-Boned Christin, who before the swerving, was driving parallel to me. When I grow up I'll take the bus. Han also grinded Emily into the wall as well as that P.J kid. Or is it R.J., B.J., oh wait, it's D.J. Well after that, I finally got home and locked my door, expecting Han to drag me off somewhere else. And from my room, I'm writing this. Remember what I said about trying something else earlier in the entry, I take that back. I will die with a book in my hand.
“Like, hey everyone!” Waterlily skipped into her classroom at her high school.
“Good morning, Waterlily,” The teacher said, “Why are you twenty five minutes late?”
“I was, like, dancing with the flowers,” Waterlily explains, “It was beyond awesome.”
“Waterlily, that is no excuse for being late,” The teacher snaps.
“But, Mr. Klein, man, you just have to chill out, man,” Waterlily attempts to calm him down.
“No, Waterlily, I will not, ‘chill out,’” Mr. Klein exclaims, “You were late to class. As your punishment, you will have detention for the day!”
“But, Mr. Klein, man-“ Waterlily began.
“No if’s, and’s, or but’s,” Mr. Klein, “I’m sorry Waterlily, but this is what you get.”
Meanwhile, in another part of the school…
“Hello, everyone!” Fiona eagerly skipped out onto the front lawn for gym class, “How are you this morning, Miss Cunningham?”
“I’m fine Fiona,” Miss Cunningham, her overly muscular gym teacher said, “How come you’re not in the appropriate dress for physical education?”
“Well, fairy wings aren’t a part of this dress code,” Fiona explained, “So I figured I’d just not wear it today.”
“Suck it up,” Miss Cunningham sympathized, “Take off the wings and get into the gym uniform.”
“But- but these are my favorites…” Fiona started to cry.
“Aw come on!!” Miss Cunningham exclaimed, “That’s it! If you don’t stop crying-“
“WAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!” Fiona bawled.
“Augh!! Detention!!” Miss Cunningham yelled.
“WAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!” Fiona only cried harder after she said that.
Meanwhile, in another part of the school…
“And that is how women gained the right to vote,” The teacher explained.
“Why should women get the right to vote?” Dirk stoop up out of his seat.
“Why shouldn’t they? Women are just as important as men,” Lisa argued from her chair.
“No, they aren’t,” Dirk battled, “The country would be a better place if only men could vote. I wish that this was an all boys school…”
“Well, deal with it!” Lisa exclaimed, “Girls are just as important as boys!”
“It’s true, they are,” The teacher said.
“Thank you, Mrs. Smith,” Lisa thanked.
“You’re welcome, dearie,” Mrs. Smith acknowledged.
“Oh, come on! Why are you taking her side?” Dirk asked.
“Well, I happen to be a woman, in case you hadn’t noticed,” Mrs. Smith pointed out.
“You are?!” Dirk’s eyes widened.
“Oh, no he didn’t!” Lisa exclaimed.
Mrs. Smith foamed with fury, “ENOUGH!!! Dirk, you have… DETENTION!! For the rest of the month!!”
“Ha-ha!” Lisa mocked.
“Oh, that’s it!!” Dirk charged at her.
“You want some of this?!” Lisa taunted, “Come and get it, then!” He charged, but Lisa stuck out a fist as he came charging. Dirk ran straight into it and fell over.
“You have detention too, young lady!” Mrs. Smith said, “No fighting in my classroom.” Lisa sat down with a frown on her face.
Meanwhile, in another part of the school…
“And then, while I was walking across the street, I noticed how the thing on the sign is shaped like a walking person! You know what? On the street, I saw tons of people walking just like that guy! Oh, and another thing, on the street there was gum! How gross is that? I mean, it’s not gross if you’re just chewing it, but on the streets. You know what people look like when they chew gum? Cows! Big hairy cows chewing on their cud!! It’s disgusting!!” Blair spoke.
“Are you quite finished?” The teacher gave a look to Blair.
“Not quite. Another thing, cows give milk! Milk becomes cheese. Cheese is just like moldy milk,” Blair began, “I mean, I eat cheese all the time, I just don’t think about what it really is. Oh, and another thing about cheese. Why do people think that cheese and crackers go so well together? They don’t! They’re just two random things that some random guy decided to slam together! It’s not good! Cheese and grapes on the other hand, that’s good! Oh, this one time, I want to a vineyard to pick grapes, and I did, but then my brother ate them all on the way back. He had a stomachache for like, forever! One time I had a stomachache and I had to stay home from school. My mom said the house was very loud with me around, which I don’t get at all. I barely talk at all!”
“Blair, detention,” The teacher said.
“What, but why?” Blair asked.
“You just wasted our whole period talking about street signs, gum, cheese, cows and stomachaches!” The teacher exclaimed.
“I’ve never gotten detention before, I wonder what it’s like? I heard that that’s where all the bad kids go, and I don’t think I’m a bad kid. I don’t disrespect the teacher, ever! I love my teachers! They’re never cruel to me, and they hardly ever talk to me at all!” Blair stated.
“Blair, honey, the reason we never talk to you is because you never give us a chance to,” The teacher explained.
“Really? I guess that what I say must be philosophical, you know what I mean? Oh, that reminds me, there was this character from the Charlie Brown strips who would always have philosophies, they even wrote a song about her!” Blair paused, and then began to sing, “WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME?! MY NEW PHILOSOPHY!!! THAT TEACHER GAVE A D ON LAST WEEKS HOMEWORK!!!!!”
“BLAIR!!!” The teacher yelled over Blair’s singing.
“Yes?” Blair stopped singing.
“I think you need to leave the room,” The teacher said.
“Oh,” Blair said, “Sometimes my mom thinks I need to leave the room, I don’t think I do though, it’s funny…” She kept on talking as she went into the hall. The rest of her class could hear her talking from the hall.
Meanwhile, in another part of the school…
“Very good class,” The teacher complemented, “The next piece we will be singing is, ‘My Heart Will Go On,’ which was recorded by Celine Dion.”
“… No!” Ivan’s eyes widened, “Anyone but her!!”
“What’s wrong with Celine Dion?” The teacher asked.
“Well… I… I can’t tell you…” Ivan said, “It’s too horrifying!”
“How scary can she be?” The teacher said, “She’s not creepy at all!”
“Yes she is!” Ivan shuddered, “The creepiest of all.”
“Ivan, calm down,” The teacher sat down, and removed the hat he was wearing.
“That’s a…” Ivan’s eyes widened again, “That’s a… BAD HAIRCUT!!!”
“I happen to like this haircut very much! My barber did it especially for me!” The teacher argued.
“Then he ain’t doing you any favors,” Ivan nodded, “Bad haircuts scare me…”
“You clearly don’t understand good styles,” The teacher stated. Just then, a spider walked across the wall.
“SPIDER!!!” Ivan screamed, “Those scare me almost as much as Celine Dion and bad haircuts!” Ivan started running around the room, screaming.
“Ivan, go back to your spot!” The teacher ordered. A hailstone hit the window.
“HAAAAIIIIL!!!!” Ivan screeched, and started running faster, and screaming louder.
“That’s it! Detention!!” The teacher exclaimed. Ivan paid no mind, as he was still screaming.
Later that day, in detention…
“Um, excuse me, Mr. Stu?” Fiona asked.
“Yes,” Mr. Stu answered.
“What do we do in detention?” Fiona questioned.
“Three words,” Mr. Stu answered.
“And what are those three words?” Dirk asked.
“Boogie,” Mr. Stu responded, “Oogie, and oogie.” Mr. Stu walked over to a stereo and switched it on.
“Totally righteous, man!” Waterlily exclaimed. Fiona, Waterlily, Dirk, Lisa, Ivan and Blair all started dancing.
“I haven’t danced like this since my old school’s dance,” Blair started, “I didn’t have a date, but there was this guy I liked, but then my best friend asked him. And he said yes! I should’ve asked him, but I didn’t. You know, at the dance, there was this punch their and it was so good! It was like the best I’ve ever tasted!”
“I hope he doesn’t play any Celine Dion,” Ivan said.
“I can dance so much better than you,” Dirk stated, “I can dance better than everyone here, except Ivan.”
“Cause he’s a guy?” Lisa asked.
“Yeah,” Dirk said.
“Ugh!” Lisa exclaimed and walked away from him.
“Come on, class!” Mr. Stu exclaimed, “Get down!”
This is a story of two twin sisters, Katrina and Sabrina.
Sabrina was in her room practicing her presentation saying, "Why do I even need to practice? I already know all of this by heart!" She sighed and put down her note cards.
Katrina was in her room reading the latest edition of her favorite fashion magazine, and she was thinking that Sabrina always waists her time studying. She laughed. She was thinking about how much she missed her sister, Sabrina, and all the good times they spent together. She quickly pushed the thought away, and kept reading her fashion magazine. Katrina then got her favorite pop CD and put it in her CD player, and turned the volume up all the way.
Sabrina tried to ignore the music but was getting very annoyed and yelled, “Turn that music down!”
“I don’t want to!” Katrina responded.
Sabrina marched down to her room and said, “Please turn it down.”
Katrina responded by turning the music down a notch.
“More would be nice. I’m trying to practice in peace!” Sabrina said.
“I don’t care!” Katrina said.
“That type of music is stupid and doesn’t make since Classical is much more peaceful!” Sabrina said.
“Classical is stupider!” Katrina defended her favorite music.
“It is not!” Sabrina said.
“It is too!” Katrina said.
“I don’t feel like yelling anymore, I’ve got an oral presentation tomorrow.” Sabrina said walking away.
As Sabrina was walking away Katrina asked, “What’s it about?”
Sabrina walked back to Katrina’s room and said, “It’s about what happened after I dissected the frog’s throat in science class.”
“Ew!” Katrina exclaimed.
“It wasn’t that gross.” Sabrina told her.
“Oh.” Katrina said.
Sabrina started to walk back to her room until, “Wait!” Katrina yelled.
“What?!” Sabrina was annoyed.
“Maybe, you could practice it, in front of me, and I can give you feedback.” Katrina suggested.
“Well, I don’t know.” Sabrina wasn’t sure.
“Please!” Katrina begged.
“Okay!” Sabrina agreed.
Sabrina was shocked by her sister’s sudden interest in science. Sabrina practiced her speech in front of her sister. After Sabrina’s presentation was finished Katrina said, “Wow! I would give that was the best presentation I’ve ever heard!”
“Really?” Sabrina wasn’t amazed by her presentation; she already knew that was perfect, she was surprised that her sister actually liked it.
“Yes, it was amazing!” Katrina said. “I miss doing presentations in science class; it’s too bad I decided not to take science.”
“Well, you could help me with my poster boards for the presentation, and you could always change your schedule.” Sabrina stated.
“I would love to help!” Katrina was excited.
Sabrina and Katrina finished the poster and Sabrina said, “I miss doing projects with you!”
“Me too!” Katrina agreed. “I’m changing my schedule, so I can have science with you!”
In the conclusion, the two sisters, Sabrina and Katrina, made up, and they were friends once again!
(I think Tybalt would be proud.)
The Sub Shop Sketch (And More)
Pauline Whitaker rushed down the crowded streets, through the bustle of the mindless New York City pedestrians, and flung open the doors of one of her seven wonders of the city—the local Subway. Pauline had always loved to eat, and it even continued after she moved away from Canada and into New York City. But despite how much she ate, Pauline had never been obese. Far from it. Pauline was practically a toothpick compared to the average-sized people of the city.
Pauline burst up to the only counter unoccupied—the ordering spot closest to the menu, the furthest one to the right. The waiter there was fiddling with a small index card. Pauline knew the man quite well, as he was the only waiter she ever ordered from. His name was AJ, and today he wore a Mets baseball cap pulled over his head with matching blue sunglasses. Noticing Pauline, he greeted her warmly. “Whatcha want today?”
Pauline didn’t hesitate. “Could I have a BLT sub today, please?”
“Hold on a second—let me check to see if we have any.” AJ went into the kitchen, but came out a few seconds later empty-handed. “Sorry, Pauline. No bacon.”
“Ham could be a good alternative,” she decided. “Ham and cheese sub?”
AJ didn’t even check the kitchen. “All our ham is gone,” he replied somberly. Pauline’s shoulders slumped.
“Well, is there any turkey?”
“I’m really sorry, Pauline.” AJ looked genuinely apologetic. “Maybe you came in a little late. All the turkey’s finished.”
“Come on, AJ. There must be something. How about a cheeseburger sub?” Pauline felt herself growing impatient, but AJ was her favorite server. He had to have SOMETHING left.
“No, there’s no beef.” AJ shook his head and sighed. Pauline didn’t know how to interpret his actions.
“Well, there’s still no beef between us,” Pauline replied jokingly, but the impatience of her turned her tone sarcastic. “Could I just have a veggie sub?”
“I’m sorry, Pauline,” AJ answered. AJ seemed to be pretty restless too. “I should’ve told you at the beginning—there’s no veggies. Can you believe that?”
“No,” Pauline replied bitterly. “Two slices of bread. That’s something you must have.”
“There IS one slice left,” AJ replied. Finally! Time seemed to go so slowly as AJ reached for the last two slices of roasted garlic bread. She could smell the garlicky stink of the bread and could see the tender water on the outside. She could hear the sizzle of the bread as AJ reached for it. She could almost taste the overpowering crunchiness of the bread—
And then AJ lost his grip on the bread. But it could only get worse. As the Subway waiter bent down to retrieve the garlic dough, he lost his balance and stumbled over the bread, collapsing to the ground. The bread looked crumpled and stale, and AJ looked guiltily at Pauline, as if waiting for her to chew him out.
But instead, Pauline’s bitter expression softened, and she felt pitiful for AJ. Suddenly the Subway visit didn’t matter about food. AJ had tried his best. “Uh, um,” Pauline stammered, “sorry for that. The least I can do is pay you, because you did your job.” Pauline fingered her pocket, pulled out two shiny five-dollar bills, and slammed them on the counter. Then she scurried off, her little toothpick body blending in with the pedestrians and bustle of New York City.
Chuckling to himself, AJ removed his baseball cap and blue shades. And guess who was under the perfect disguise? Ajax.
“That girl just drives me nuts,” Ajax snickered, and he started pulling out some of the ingredients he said he hadn’t had.
But as Ajax delivered a spinach-and-provolone sub topped with ham to an optimistic man, Ajax felt sorry for Pauline. She just loved to eat. And he had taken advantage of her. He finished the man’s order, a strange look on his face. He picked up the two five-dollar bills, as well as a couple rashers of bacon. And then Ajax said and did the unthinkable for someone who’s just conned someone else into giving them ten dollars:
He handed the two bills to the man and said “Take them,” sternly. Then he flicked the rashers of bacon out through the doors and into the streets.
Somehow, Ajax knew, those rashers of bacon would somehow find Pauline.
(Mine should be up today...)
Diary of an Emo Teen
I hate my life.
First of all, I know what you’re thinking. “Why would anyone hate the life they’re living?” Well, shut up, because I do. Second of all, I bet you’re wondering why I hate my life. Well, first of all, my name’s Kendall. Yes, Kendall. Second of all, my dad is a total loser. He keeps thinking I’m interested in all kinds of sports. News flash, Senior, I suck at athletics. Ever since my mom died and Dylan, my step-brother, barged in on me, things have never been the same. Though I bring home countless awards for my poetry, Dad never seems to care. In fact, he doesn’t even seem to notice. But if Dylan brings home one sports trophy, Dad will go ballistic, and takes him to an ice-cream buffet. I thought coming here would help me get away from all this, but was I ever wrong. Next thing I know, I’m surrounded by people freakier than me. The first day, another camper mistook me for a girl and started flirting with me! Mental note: Stay away from Zane. Right now, we’re sailing to some place called Boney Island. Gee, that sounds cheerful. I just hope that Fiona and I aren’t on the same team. We’re polar opposites, like me and Dylan, but that’s not my reason to dislike her. She reminds me of my mom, always smiling and cheerful. If only she were still alive…anyways, I’m not letting her charm get to me only to inevitably be taken away from me. Speaking of frilly things, I’ve got to keep this diary a secret, or else the guys will never let me live it down. Especially Dirk and Stevie. They’re both so ‘manly’ that they’d probably think I was a total wuss in comparison. It looks like the boat is docking, so I’ve got to put this down. Besides, Fiona keeps sneaking peeks at what I’m writing, and the last thing I want is her to be part of my life.
Total Drama Mania Reunion
"I'll take one Happy Meal." said the person in the front of the line as Stan waited for his turn.
"This is taking forever." Stan mumbled to himself as the line continued.
"Sweet! I got a red Bionicle." yelled a familiar voice from somewhere else.
"That voice sounds familiar." Stan commented.
"What would you like?" asked the a women.
"I'll take the Chicken McNuggets." Stan said as the lady got his food and he sat near the the person he thought he knew.
"Hey, you." said the familiar person.
"Maybe he recognizes me." Stan thought to himself.
"Isn't my Bionicle awesome?" the person asked.
"Its great and what's your name?" asked Stan.
"Jakey." Jakey replied.
"Were you on a reality show?" Stan asked him.
"Yes." Jakey replied.
"Do you remember me?" Stan asked.
"Let me think." Jakey said as he made a dumb expression on his face as he started thinking.
One Hour Later...
"Are you done yet?" Stan asked as Jakey kept thinking.
"Yes. You are the intern from the show." Jakey said.
"No, I'm Stan." Stan said as he slapped his face.
"Really? Its been a while since I've seen someone from the show. How about you come to my place." Jakey suggested.
"Sure, why not." Stan replied as they walked to Jakey's car and they drove to his house.
"Do you want to play some video games?" Jakey asked as they walked into the house.
"No thanks." Stan replied.
"How about we play with my action figures?" Jakey asked.
"I'm fine." Stan replied as the doorbell rang.
"I'll get it." Jakey said as he opened the door and the mailman handed him some mail.
"Hey, aren't you Carter?" Stan asked the mailman.
"Yeah and your Stan and Jakey." Carter replied.
"Why did you became a mailman?" Stan asked.
"Well, I needed a job and every place I applied to said I was to weird so I had to work as a mailman." Carter explained.
"Do you want to play with my action figures?" Jakey asked.
"Defiantly!" Carter replied as they ran to get some action figures.
"Take that!" Jakey yelled.
"Take this!" Carter yelled back.
"This is going to be a long couple of hours." Stan said to himself.
Waterlilly and Kendall? No Way!
- Note: This story switches between Kendall and Waterlilly's perspective.
I am Kendall. I'm a boy. Everyone thinks I'm a girl. That's a reason to be emo. Anyway, I've got a story to tell, and it really stunk living through it. Luckily...some things are a little unreal. Here we go.
I am Waterlilly. I'm a girl. My parents are, like, hippies, and stuff... Anyway, I have, like, a story to tell. So here it is.
I woke up at Playa Des Losers, ready to start another horrible day. For a weird reason, there was a camera hanging outside my window,
"Do you think he noticed?" I whispered to Blair.
"No, no, you'll be fine." Blair said.
"But I feel like a stalker..." I sighed.
I closed my curtains and went to have breakfast. "Meh, I can order room service." I said. I ordered service, but Fiona delivered it! I was confused.
"Hey, Kendall! I got a job here at Playa Des Losers!" Fiona said, excitedly.
"Yeah...why?" I responded.
"Because! I saw these cobalt blue wings that I just have to have! But they're so expensive..." Fiona explained.
"Um...okay..." I sighed.
I really don't feel comfortable with Fiona anymore...I mean, I know I voted myself out because of her. But I gave up the prize due to her! I kinda think I should break up with her, y'know?
I feel like I was really, like, bad doing that. I mean, who takes, like, Blair's guidance anyway?
I was at breakfast with Zane. "Zane..."
"Waterlilly..." Zane said back.
"Do you know my secret?" I asked.
"Do you like someone?" Zane questioned.
"Uh...uh... Yes." I admitted. I whispered something in his ear.
"Oh, man, this is RICH! I've gotta tell him!" Zane ran off.
"Oh, crud! What have I, like, done?!" I went to my room.
I like someone at this resort. Except he's got an ongoing relationship with someone else.
"Fiona..." I said as Fiona left.
"Yes, Kendall?" She responded.
"I think it's time to, y'know, meet new people." I confessed.
"Um..." She started crying. "Okay...?" She ran out of the room.
You see, I've got this crush on a girl. But I can't tell anyone!
I was eating lunch when Zane came back. "I've got news!" Zane said in a sing-song voice.
"What?" I demanded.
"The boy you like likes you back." Zane said.
I stormed off to the boy's room.
Waterlilly burst through my door.
"I like you too, like, Stevie!" She said.
"STEVIE?!" I yelled. She started making out with me. I pushed her away.
"What was that, like, for? Zane said that you liked me, like, back!" She yelled.
"Me Kendall. You Waterlilly. NO chemistry." I explained.
"Wait..." She blushed. " I thought you were, like Stevie..."
"Yeah, I've got a crush on Blair, not you." I admitted.
"I thought you liked Fiona." Waterlilly said.
"We broke up." I said.
"BLAIR!" I ran to Blair as fast as I could.
"What?" She asked.
"Kendall...like...you..." I panted.
"Really?" Blair asked.
"Yeah..." I said.
"That's AWESOME!" She darted off to Kendall's room.
Blair burst in the door. "I LIKE YOU TOO, KENDALL!"
"Good. Now sit down in that chair." I demanded.
"Okay..." Blair sighed.
"First of all, I like you, but we're not gonna make out a lot like Waterlilly tried." I explained.
"She mistook you for Stevie?" Blair laughed.
"Yeah." I smiled.
I sat down with Stevie.
"Waterlilly, I..." Stevie stopped.
"Yes?" I asked.
"I don't want to go out with you." Stevie confessed.
"Oh..." I started crying.
"It's okay! Wait...do you hear something?" Stevie asked.
"Yeah...I, like, do too." I said. Then, out of nowhere, a purple zebra appeared. I woke up.
After seeing the purple Zebra, I woke up. Funny thing that Waterlilly claims she had the exact same dream.
I can't believe Kendall says he had the same dream as I did. Weird...
A Total Drama Amazon Story- Ed, what happened to him?
After Ed was eliminated he got on a plane to go home. He looked for his seat, and found it, it was a window seat right by the wing on the left side of the plane. He sat down, and checked out the girls, winking at them while they went by, each girl just about puked when they saw him. He saw three people he thought were vaguely familiar. They all walked closer, and dropped of a girl in an orange jumpsuit in the seat next to him, he remebered her to be Lacey, and the other two to be interns.
"Oh great, I'm next to the fat slob!" exclaimed Ed. Lacey just layed their sleeping. Ed kept yelling rude comments at Lacey for the rest of the plane ride.
(I'm sorry its so short)
Week 5 Stories
Everybody seems to think due to my privileged upbringing, I’ve never suffered anything. They have no idea. I still remember every second of that day.
Duncan and I were just about ready to leave for my parents’ house outside Edmonton for Christmas. This was supposed to be a short, uneventful drive, due to us living in Calgary. I grabbed the suitcases stuffed to their limits with our clothes and Christmas gifts, thanks to my nephew who just had to have one of the largest remote control cars in the history of mankind. It had started to snow lightly, as a follow-up to the six inches we got two days ago. The roads were plowed, so there should have been no trouble getting anywhere. Just before I got in the car, I stared at the ring on my hand. Was the wedding already a month ago? Weirdly enough, after getting married, Duncan and I seemed to never argue anymore. That day we had a friendly one about what to CD to listen to in the car. I wanted to play The Goo-Goo Dolls, compared to Duncan wanting to play Killswitch Engage. We had settled on a Paramore album and were off in less than five minutes. Sure enough, the roads were great. Then we hit that bridge. Halfway across that foreboding gray, steel construct, I had noticed a jagged piece of metal on the road.
“Duncan!” I had screamed.
He swerved, but the metal sank into our left tire. We lost control for a second, but managed to make it to the emergency lane. Duncan got out the jack and the spare tire, while I stepped forward a couple paces to call Triple A, as both of us weren’t too good with mechanics, despite persistent efforts. As I wrapped up the call, I was the only one to notice the 18-Wheeler hit the same piece of metal, and careen into the car. Duncan’s head was slammed through the passenger window and both vehicles hurtled through the guardrail and off the bridge into the frozen river. I ran to the broken guardrail and looked down at two jagged holes in the ice on the river. I knew it right then, he was gone. Just like that. He had turned into another statistic: One of the many people to die in a traffic accident. After a frenzied 911 call, I was picked up by the police, to arrive at the worst Christmas of my life. I had been told that it would be impossible for Duncan’s body to ever be found due to the river’s currents, just to make things worse. I had managed to get back home after Christmas via air travel, but nothing would ever be the same. We had all our hopes and dreams, just to have them obliterated. For those first few weeks, all I seemed to do was sit around in eternal shock, fueled by news reports on what happened. The accident seemed to be on the TV for nearly a week, proving once and for all that the news has nothing better to do. After a month, I finally was forced to do something, being in the form of a Total Drama Reunion. I was forced to go; apparently it was in our contracts. So here I was, back at Camp Wawanakwa, the place Duncan and I met. This wasn’t improving my mood. Everybody, who was secretly glad that I was a wreck, being able to hold grudges as good as I used to, didn’t seem to care. We never saw each other after Total Drama the Musical, so we all thought everybody was the same. I got a few mentions of “Sorry” and “I feel so bad for you,” but otherwise, everybody stayed away. Except Heather, surprisingly, she was the only one to say something and mean it.
“Courtney,” she had said to me, “I know you don’t expect me to say this but, I’m sad at what happened. Duncan was a friend of mine too; I actually had more of a chance of hooking up with him than Gwen,”
This brought a slight grin, but it didn’t last.
“Thanks Heather, Gwen actually said that Karma was finally getting to me.”
“That’s really mean; it almost makes me want to read her diary on TV again. Almost. Something’s gotten into her lately. Well I’m sorry, but I have to go.”
Heather then walked away towards Lindsay. Me, I headed for the door, I could only take so many glances. I stumbled and collapsed into the snow. It had gotten worse since the accident. I dusted off my arms and was mystified to see a hand offered out to help me up. I grabbed it to meet Noah in the eye.
“Courtney, you made it. I didn’t think you’d come, it’s horrible what happened, even if I didn’t like Duncan.” He said.
“You’re the second person to say something nice Noah. That’s really, really odd.”
“Who was the first?”
I swore I could see his eyes widen for a second.
“Really,” Noah replied.
“What did you end up doing after the show; I’m a manager in a bookstore.”
“I’m a lawyer, predictable huh,” I responded.
“It’s not a bad thing Courtney.”
“I know, but everybody became somebody completely different, and I stayed the same mostly. Look at you, you’re being nice. What happened to you Mr. Insulting Cynic?”
“Ok, you’re right there, but still, maybe you didn’t change because you were already…” Noah stopped talking, obviously at a lack of words.
“Crazy, begrudging, antagonistic” I finished.
“I was going to say perfect,” he replied.
“What! Nobody’s supposed to like me except Duncan; everybody took it as a rule.”
“Almost everybody, I always thought you were kinda cute,” Noah said shyly while looking at the ground.
“Aww, and here I thought you had Cody,” I joked, he was definitely having an effect on me.
“Oh come on, that was ten years ago, and we were screaming in terror afterwards!”
“You know Noah, you’re kinda cute too.”
Now it was time for him to stare in shock. Then we just seemed to move towards each other for a kiss, just like in the movies. That is, until Heather burst out the door,
“Courtney, Noah!” she exclaimed, “They’re going to show the best moments from the show. I hope they show when my head was shaved, my face must have looked ridiculous!” Heather then got the fact she was interrupting something.
“Am I interrupting a cheesy cinematic kiss scene?”
“Yes,” Noah and I replied at the same time.
“Okay, I’ll head back inside,” Heather said.
She headed back in and we finally kissed. He held my hand a we walked in, and sat next to me as we laughed at ourselves with the clips Chris put together. And yes, Heather’s face looked ridiculous when she got her head shaved. We all exchanged numbers, e-mails, and addresses and said our goodbyes. Heather apparently lived just across the border in Seattle, and Noah was mysteriously located in Calgary. Across town, but in the same city. Guess we were meant to be together too I guess. And maybe, just maybe, I was happy again.
A Dance Recital, an Owl, and a Wasp: The Story of Duncan and Heather
A dozen girls around the ages of six and seven danced and skipped all around a stage, as if to form a dance. They weren’t succeeding. None of the audience was even remotely captivated. One girl in particular despised this the most.
“I hate this!” She complained, “When do we get to leave?”
“Not now, Heather!” Her mother stated, “If you aren’t going to respect Louise’s performance, than please leave.”
“Fine, I will!” Heather stood up, and left, knocking over several children in the aisles of the theater. She thrust open two large doors and stepped outside. She sighed at the feeling of fresh air. She turned, and shrieked at the sight of a face that she knew all too well.
“Duncan?!” Heather exclaimed, “What are you doing here?!”
“Well, princess,” Duncan began, “My little sister has her dance recital tonight. I hated it, and came out here.”
“Me too,” Heather admitted.
“So…” Duncan started, “Do you wanna make out?”
“Get bent!” Heather stepped back.
“You know you want to,” Duncan assumed.
“Um, no I don’t!” Heather said.
“Fine, be like that,” Duncan turned so his back was facing her. Heather did the same. A small girl ran out crying, with her frantic mother chasing behind her. Heather started laughing quietly. Duncan started cracking up and fell over from laughing too hard, and at the provocation of Duncan’s laughter, Heather exploded laughing, and then fell over, landing on top of Duncan. Heather quickly stopped laughing and rolled off of him.
“Funny stuff…” Duncan wiped a tear out of his eye.
“Yeah,” Heather said quickly, standing up, “Hilarious.”
“You know you loved that,” Duncan eyed Heather.
“… Yeah,” Heather admitted. An owl flew down onto a tree.
“Hey, wanna go throw rocks at that owl?” Duncan asked.
“Um, let me think about it,” Heather said sarcastically, “No!”
“Suit yourself,” Duncan shrugged. He walked over to the owl, picked up a stone and narrowly missed it, “Dang it!” Heather smirked from behind him, “Oh, like you could do any better.” Duncan turned to face her.
“I think I might,” Heather stepped closer to Duncan.
“Is it a bet?” Duncan cocked one eyebrow.
“Loser admits that the winner is the best, the hottest and the smartest?” Heather asked.
“It’s a bet,” Duncan smiled.
Heather smirked, “Gimme a rock,” Duncan tossed her a small rock. Heather wound up and threw the rock with all her might. It skimmed over the ground, bounced off the wall of the school, and hit Duncan in the forehead. Duncan keeled over and landed with a loud thud. Heather ran over and kneeled at his side.
“Are you okay?” Heather asked.
“Of course,” Duncan was slightly offended, “What do you take me for?”
“Oh please,” Heather said, “I already know about what happened with DJ’s bunny.”
“You do not!” Duncan accused.
“You’d be surprised what you can find out from watching reruns from Total Drama Island,” Heather smiled.
“So what if it’s true?” Duncan asked, rhetorically, “It doesn’t matter!”
“You’re just a big marshmallow!” Heather laughed.
“So are you!” Duncan accused randomly.
“I am so totally not!” Heather was taken aback.
“Yeah, I know,” Duncan said, “You’re the meanest chick I know.”
“Yeah… Omigosh, Duncan!” Heather exclaimed, “There is a giant wasp on your forehead!”
“Well, don’t just stand there, woman!” Duncan ordered, “Kill it!” Heather smacked Duncan’s forehead with a large stick she found on the ground.
“Ow!” Duncan yelped, “Did you get it?”
“Define, ‘get it,’” Heather backed away from the wasp. The wasp flew off of Duncan’s head and past Heather. Heather slowly walked away with the wasp moving closer with each step. Heather backed up into Duncan. Duncan placed his hand on her shoulder, and Heather placed her hands on his chest. The wasp flew away.
Duncan looked down at Heather, “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”
“It depends on what you’re thinking,” Heather smiled.
“I hope we’re thinking the same thing,” Duncan said. Duncan’s head slowly moved towards Heather’s and Heather’s towards Duncan’s. Their lips met halfway. The two kissed, and both seemed to be enjoying it.
Heather slowly removed her face from Duncan’s, “Just for the record, that wasn’t what I was thinking at all, I just liked your idea better.”
“I was hoping you’d like that,” Duncan smiled. A loud burst of applause began to emanate from the inside of the school.
“Looks like we’ll have to go soon,” Heather said regretfully.
“I guess so,” Duncan nodded, “Do you… Wanna go out sometime?”
“Sure,” Heather said, reluctantly, “I’d like that.” Heather whipped her cell phone out of her pocket, “What’s your number?” She asked.
“What’s yours?” Duncan inquired. The two swapped phone numbers, and arranged to meet for dinner next weekend.
“Heather, we’ve got to go,” Heather’s mother walked out of the school, dragging Louise by the wrist.
“Bye, Duncan,” Heather bid him farewell.
“Aren’t you forgetting something?” Duncan inquired. Heather looked puzzled, “Remember? The owl and the stone?”
“Oh, yeah,” Heather grimaced, “Duncan is the best, the smartest and the hottest.”
“And don’t you forget it,” Duncan smiled, “Bye, princess.”
“Bye, Duncan,” Heather and Duncan hugged, as Heather walked away.
(Augh. Isn't my story horrible?)
So, you say you want to know how this all started, eh? Well, I guess I ought to start from the beginning. It was just a regular party, like all the other parties Geoff hosted every day of the week. He had gotten over his little slip-up in that talk show thing back in…what was it called? It was just so long ago that I can barely remember the name of that show. Wait…ah yes, it was Total Drama Action.
Anyway, it was just like any other party. The boys from Total Drama Island were invited, as they had stayed close acquaintances of Geoff. I was the only girl there, however. That was mainly because I was Geoff’s girlfriend, obviously. The guys all partied the same way they always did—they danced spastically and drank bottles and bottles of root beer and soda. Well, except for Noah. The little wallflower got some coffee, but I think even he had a bit of party instincts in him.
So the party was pretty much the same. But halfway into the party, I noticed that the chatter was scattered with dripping sarcasm, yelling and screaming, nutty laughing, and horrible singing, but I didn’t hear any Canadian accent that had come to the last party—one that I had hosted. Even though that was the only party I had ever heard the voice at, it sounded so major in my head. What did we used to call the owner of that accent? Home…home…oh, duh, it was Ezekiel. I wondered if Geoff could even remember the teen’s name.
So I went up to Geoff after everyone had finally crashed back at their houses and asked him if he remembered Ezekiel. I honestly don’t know why I did that. Geoff asked me who the heck I was talking about, so that pretty much confirmed that he had no idea about him being on the Total Drama Series.
I guess that also confirmed that nobody else remembered who Ezekiel was. I felt bad for the homeschooled kid—wait, he was homeschooled, right? But he was a nobody. No one remembered him at all. Well, except for me, of course. I decided I had to track him down after a while.
It took me a long time, but I finally found Ezekiel abandoned in the corner of a garage. Of course. Where else could he be? I bent down over him, and whispered something I instantly regretted:
“Are you homeschooled?”
Okay. That was just sad. Shouldn’t I help the guy? Or what if I had made some mistake and he was just a neglected eighteen-year-old?
Ezekiel didn’t seem to care, if it was Ezekiel at all. He just looked at me for a while, as if he didn’t have the foggiest idea of what was going on. Finally he put his hands in his pockets, and his lips moved, but no sound came out. I never learned how to read lips, so I asked him to repeat what he said. This time I could hear him, and his lips seemed to move, but he muttered something unintelligibly. It sounded something like “Finseh.” Still not understanding, I asked him to repeat what he said yet again. Ezekiel cupped his hands to his mouth, looked at me angrily, and yelled, “BRIDGAHHHHHH!”
I was shocked. “Bridgette?” I repeated. Ezekiel gave me the clearest answer so far—a simple nod of his head. “I’m Bridgette. Why are you talking like that, Ezekiel?”
Suddenly Ezekiel looked as if he had found a 1916 Denver nickel in mint condition. He grabbed my neck, and then he kissed me on the cheek. After that he ran out of the garage with a million dollars’ worth of energy.
I stood there in awe for a while, and soon a smile crept across my face. I ran the way Ezekiel had gone, hoping to find him somehow.
I was alone.
My BFFFL, Sadie, has passed away, and I was still hysterical over it. I clutch her picture close to my chest and cry even more. Ever since we were little, we were inseparable, and that one plane ride changed everything. I remember the horrific accident in detail… “OMG Katie, this is gonna be sooooo fun!”
“I know, right? EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!” I squealed, having no idea that this would be a life changing day for me. We boarded the plane to Newfoundland and sat back and watched as the plane soared into the clouds. An hour later, we were eating peanuts like there was no tomorrow. I wondered “How could life get any better than this?” Little did I know, things were about to take a turn for the worse.
“Ahem, t-this is your captain speaking.” The pilot sounded like he was in a pickle. “W-we’re having s-some slight d-difficul-“Then two shots were fired. The flight attendants ran around screaming. They grabbed something labeled “For emergency’s only” That couldn't be a good sign. Then they jumped out, leaving us stranded alone in a plane doomed to crashing. Suddenly, the plane took a huge dip to the right, and Sadie nearly fell off. I grabbed her as fast as I could. However, gravity took over, and Sadie fell to her doom. “SADIE!!!” I shrieked. I thought I could hear a small voice screaming my name, but it was too late. She was gone. I just wished it could've been me plummeting to my doom.
I am the sole survivor of my plane crash. All alone in the middle of the wilderness. Back on TDI, I was eliminated in the wilderness challenge. Oh, the irony. I almost manage to work up a smile. Suddenly I hear a rustling noise. I back up against the tree I’ve been leaning on for the past few hours. Suddenly, I see movement in a bush to my left. I shriek as something resembling a huge bear emerges from the bushes…but then I hear my name. “Katie?” I open one eye, only to see the creature I mistook for a bear. With eyes full of concern and passion, and a body that should belong to a wrestler, that bear was DJ.
“DJ? What are you doing here?” I question.
“Well, the pet store was out of food for Bunny, so I decided to look for some around here. But now I’m lost…” He turns around to see me sobbing uncontrollably. “What happened?”
I explain the whole predicament: The trip to Newfoundland, the pilot being shot at the wheel, and most importantly, Sadie falling to her death. Once I mention that, I start to tear up again. “Don’t cry, Katie. You’re better than that.” I don’t obey. To my surprise, DJ hugs me. DJ. Hugging me. Why? Does he like me? Or is it simply out of pity? So many questions to be answered, so little life to live. So there I am, sitting on a log in the rain being held by a superhuman sweetheart.
Though the rain presses on, my train of thought speeds through the drops. For the first time in years, my thoughts are not about Sadie, but about DJ. Me Katie. He DJ. Did anything happen between us in TDI? No. TDA? Still no. Did…did he have hidden feelings for me? My train of thought comes to a screeching halt. Should I ask him? I mean we’re stranded in the middle of nowhere and almost guaranteed to die. Why not? But then there was the thought of rejection. If he didn’t love me, I would not only die unhappy, but heartbroken. Not that I already wasn’t with Sadie gone. I wander around aimlessly as I continue to think. What would be my dream guy? Someone who didn’t care who you were on the outside, someone who cared what you were like on the inside, and someone who cared about others. AKA, DJ.Was this a coincidence, or could this be fate? Just then, a large shadow falls over me. “Hey, what’s up, Katie?” Right on cue.
“Uh…nothing much. You?”
“Same. Hey, I just wanted to...”
I can’t control myself. I just have to take the risk. I kiss him. On the lips. At first, I'm filled with despair. Oh, what did I just do? But then I take a look at DJ. He had closed his eyes. Then all the sadness I had somehow held inside myself is released, and I cry. I cry harder than I had ever cried before. But these were not tears of regret. These were tears of mirth. I could finally have a companion. Someone who would love me. Someone who would care. And someone who could break through the wall I had put up, the wall that turned me into the brainless person I was before. I was in a fantasy world, and Prince DJ had saved me from the dragon that was myself, revealing the true princess inside. I hold him tighter, and close my eyes as well. And I know he is ‘the one’.
Gwen’s new boyfriend.
NOTE: This might be off topic at some points so don't be upset.
Long after the events of 3:10 to Crazytown both Trent and Gwen are eliminated and now on the aftermath. Gwen feels like staying away from Trent for now due to that Katie and Sadie and numerous other girls are liking him. Gwen is just feeling sad about not being with Gwen and shouldn’t have broken up with him. At that moment, Owen (who was recently eliminated) comes in.
“What’s wrong Gwen?” asked Owen. “Nothing.” she tells him depressed. “This isn’t about the whole breakup thing is it?” asked Owen. “Okay yes.” said Gwen. “Hey. I can find you a new boyfriend.” said Owen. He takes Gwen to another studio and takes her to a room where Tyler was at. “Tyler’s the perfect guy for you.” said Owen. “Okay.” said Gwen nervous. She goes sees Tyler. “Hi Gwen.” said Tyler. “Uh. Do you want to go eat dinner together?” asked Gwen to Tyler. “That would be nice. I haven’t had anything good to do without Lindsay.” said Tyler. “Good work Gwen.” said Owen nearby.
Gwen and Tyler are at a fancy restaurant owned by Chris having dinner with Owen nearby. “So. Why’d you ask me for dinner?” asked Tyler. “Well I’ve been having a hard time since the big break up by Trent and Geoff insulting me in the latest aftermath.” said Gwen. “Tough.” Tyler said. But right at that moment Trent had came in with Katie and Sadie following him. Trent gasps when he sees Gwen with Tyler. “Gwen!?” exclaimed Trent. “Trent!?” exclaimed Gwen as well. “Uh oh.” said Owen nearby. “Trent. I’m sorry. I had to get myself happy so Owen told me to date Tyler.” Gwen said to Trent. “I hear you.” said Trent. “Excuse me a sec Trent.” said Gwen. She walks off and Trent and Tyler hear Owen getting beaten up and screaming. “There we go.” said Gwen. “Uh.” Trent says confused. “Nothing.” said Gwen “Anyway. How bout you, me and Tyler all get an ice cream.” “I’d like that.” said Trent. “Me too.” said Tyler. They walk off and Eva walks near Owen. “You wanna go on a date?” asked Owen to Eva.
A NoahXGwen Story
I was alone.
This story starts like another story here. Just the first 3 words. Anyway, I was alone. Trent moved with his dad to Antarctica. Apparently, he was sued by nine penguins. I didn't know they had lawyers. Unfortunately, someone else was moving into my neighborhood. Namely, Noah.
Really, Noah. Out of all the people in the world, it's Noah. I'd really have preferred someone like Courtney, or DJ. But Noah.
It was Saturday. A nerd moved into my neighborhood on the best day of the week. Boy, I can't WAIT until he sees me. ...You know that was sarcasm, right?
On Sunday, my doorbell rang. I answered it. It was you-know-who. "GWEN?" He said in shock.
"Yep, it's me. In the flesh." I responded.
"Dad, why didn't you tell me GWEN lived here? You said you had reviewed all the neighbors!" Noah complained to his dad.
"Well, son, there's a one-in-a-million chance that I knew that Gwen McDonald was the Gwen from that reality show." His dad responded. Noah laughed.
"Your last name is...MCDONALD?" I grabbed him and held my fist up.
"Shut it, nerd!" I yelled. Then another voice arose.
"Gwen?" Uh-oh. It was none other than my mom. "Gwen! What are you doing to that poor boy?!" I unwillingly put him down.
"Yes, mom." I sighed.
"Good. Now welcome this family in!" She told me.
"But mom!" I said. "This is the family of the biggest TDI nerd!"
"And who is that?" My mom asked.
"Uh, Noah! Didn't you watch Total Drama Island... And Total Drama Action? Aftermath?" I asked.
"It's not my fault he was voted off third! I have a bad memory, you know." My mom said.
Now, the rest of this day was quite uneventful, as I locked myself in my room. But, someone knocked on the door...
"Gwen?" It was Noah. I unlocked the door. "Sorry for the McDonald incident." Noah apologized.
"Sorry for threatening to hurt you." I unwillingly apologized.
"I brought you chocolates." Noah gave me the gift.
"Thanks. That's so...un-sadistic of you." I thanked.
"Nah, my dad's making me give them out." Noah closed the door.
"So... Noah..." I stalled.
"You know, I was thinking that maybe we could get to know each other a little better." Noah recommended.
"Uh, sure, I guess." I awkwardly agreed.
"What's your favorite color?" Noah asked.
"What does that have to do anything?" I asked in response.
"If we're gonna get to know each other, we might as well start with that." Noah explained.
"Okay..." I thought about it. "Dark Turquoise."
"Nice." Noah said, with a smile. "I like forest green."
We had a nice conversation, until a shocking event occured-
"Gwen?" Noah asked.
"Yeah?" I said.
"Do you want to go out?" He said.
I thought about it for a long time. "Okay. Sure."
"Great." Noah said. "I think it's time for me to go."
"Okay...bye." Gwen said.
"Bye. See you around." Noah guaranteed.
"See you around." I said with a smile.
An Unlikely Pairing
In The Aftermath III, Geoff and Bridgette had broken up over the course of time since The Aftermath II. They were so mad at each other Bridgette stayed off set were the eliminated contestants were. Geoff was announcing the people who were on the penut gallery, but when he got to Cody, everyone noticed he was gone. The door to the off set place were the eliminated contestants waited, and Cody poked his head through the door.
He asked, "Hey guys can I come in?"
"Theres enough room here for you I think, over by Heather, maybe," said Owen pointing to Heather who was sitting all by herself on a different couch. Cody sat down next to Heather and waited. After a while Owen left to go on the show, and Cody and Heather moved to same couch as Bridgette and Courtney (Who was voted out in the previous episode).
"Finally, The big butted loser who takes up half a couch has left!" exclaimed Heather.
"At least hes alot nicer than you!" responed Bridgette. Heather smirked, and left the room to go on the show. Cody scooched closer to Bridgette and they sterted to talk about things, and started to know each other better. After Courtney left, Cody grabbed Bridgette's hand and asked her to go out with him.
"We just just offically met, and you want to go out with me, I'm going to have to say..." Bridgette paused. Cody was rocking back and forth with his fingers crossed repeating please go out with me.
"Well what will it be Bridge?" asked Cody.
"...Yes!" answered Bridgette. Cody and Bridgette hugged, and went on set back to were they regularly would sit.
Week 6 Stories
This isn't my favorite story, but I hope you enjoy. Any places I mention do exist, I set the story in an area I used to live in.
The Simplest Revenge
Trent Donovan stepped out of his car on a beautiful summer afternoon, the kind that made it worth it to survive the winters here in Newport, Rhode Island. Not that it mattered to him after the events that happened today. First, he was fired despite showing up for four years straight, and had lashed out at his boss, the impossible to impress Courtney Marris, leading to an intense argument. Then Harold McGrady came to him and commanded him to give him money over “a bet” made two years ago. Said bet was a usual excuse for Harold when he had to get lunch and forgot his wallet. Harold then went on a huge rant in public on how “People never listen to bets I place, and that I should do something to show people that I deserve respect.” Then at his own lunch, Heather Reid, his recent ex, ran into him while he and his current girlfriend, Gwen Gilcrest were finished ordering. Heather said that he and Gwen had gone out before he broke up with her and threatened to kill him for it in an angry tone. Gwen believed it, punched Trent between the eyes, and stormed off. After that, having nothing better to do, Trent drove home in silent, teeth-gritting frustration. He unlocked the front door of his house, stomped in, and flopped down on his couch, where he was found dead six hours later. Detective Noah Barnes was busy reading when he got the call. Fifteen minutes later, he and his partner, Duncan Davidson had arrived at the Donovan residence and were tearing the house apart for clues
“Hey Noah, do we have any suspects yet?” Duncan yelled from the bedroom.
“No, can’t find any fingerprints or bodily fluids other Mr. Donovan’s blood. This person did a good job of covering their tracks,” Noah replied while sprinkling powder everywhere in an attempt to find fingerprints.
“What was the cause of death again?”
“Do you remember anything Duncan? He was shot in the spinal cord, died instantly,” Noah said. A black shape suddenly caught his eye. “Found his cell phone!”
Duncan bolted out of Trent’s bedroom.
“Any messages Noah?” Duncan asked.
”I’m checking right now. Here’s one.”
Gwen’s voice came out of the speaker.
“Hey Trent, its Gwen. I wanted to say sorry for punching you at lunch earlier. I shouldn’t have believed Heather. You know what she’s like now. Anyways, there might be a job opening at my workplace in Fall River. Hope to see you soon.”
“Well,” started Noah, “At least we know where to start. Caller I.D. says G. Gilcrest so we can find where she lives.”
About forty-five minutes later, Gwen received a knock on her door. She opened it to find Noah and Duncan. Noah took no time for greetings.
“Miss Gilcrest, are you aware of your boyfriend’s death?”
“My boyfriend’s WHAT! How could die, he was only frustrated, not suicidal!”
“We’re talking murder gorgeous.” Duncan responded coolly.
“Shut it Duncan. We heard a message sent to Trent’s phone. We want to know why you punched him, who Heather is, and what you were doing between noon and 6 P.M.”
The three then took seats at Gwen’s kitchen table. Duncan recited questions.
“Heather Reid is Trent’s crazy ex. Well, she was normal until they broke up. At The Brick Alley Restaurant, she walked over and claimed he had been cheating on her with me. I don’t know why I believed her, but I did. After that, I left.”
“Where does Miss. Reid live?”
“I don’t know, somewhere in Jamestown I think.”
“I’ll go check her address.” Noah said.
As soon as he left, Duncan scooted his chair closer to Gwen.
“So, do you miss Trent a lot Gwen?”
“Actually, we weren’t around each other a lot, so I feel like I should, but I really don’t. We worked different shifts and Trent was always working overtime because of his boss. She’s a nightmare to work for, so I’ve heard. They got into huge fight and Trent said she looked totally homicidal.”
“What’s her name?”
Duncan’s face contorted into a look of pain.
“Are you alright?”
“She’s my ex-girlfriend.”
“Ooh, I seriously pity you.”
“I’m completely over her; it’s just that I don’t want to interrogate her.”
“You know, you’re not all that bad. For a police officer.” Gwen said with a smirk.
“And you aren’t either. You wanna get coffee when this investigation’s over?” Duncan said in the same fashion
“Ummm…okay, I have to forget Trent I guess.” Gwen replied hesitantly.
Then Noah walked back in the room.
“Okay,” he said, “I have Heather’s address. We have to go Duncan.”
In the car, Noah confronted Duncan.
“What was that!?”
“What was what?”
“You know what I mean. We don’t flirt with suspects, let alone ask them out for coffee. Remember what happened with that pixie we locked up for stalking?”
“You mean Sunshine? How could I forget?” (A.N. I’m sorry Sunshine, I just had to have you stalk Duncan)
“Well this could be that all over again.”
“Fine. Let’s go to Heather’s.”
Heather’s condo was a short drive away, and when they arrived, she was not very receptive.
“What do you mean you have to interrogate me?” she had screamed. “He’s some two-timing flirt who deserves to die!”
“Trent was murdered; we have to interrogate you because you were one of the last people to see him alive.” Duncan had reasoned.
“Well no cops are keeping me from the spa! Goodbye!”
Heather got in her convertible and sped off.
“Well, nothing from her.” Duncan said.
“No, I planted a microphone in her backseat while you were arguing. Who knows what she’ll say to herself.” Noah replied.
“While she’s headed for Canada.”
“Good point, if she’s the murderer. Now we have to interview Harold McGrady and Courtney Marris. Why does that last one ring a bell?”
“She’s my ex. Please don’t make me interview her.”
“Fine, we’ll interview them tomorrow.”
That next day, Noah and Duncan left the station. As their car headed for Trent’s former employer in Warwick, the two listened to the mike in Heather’s car. All it recorded was Heather mauling “Our Lips Are Sealed”.
Courtney sat down in her company’s boardroom. She seemed somewhat annoyed by Noah’s presence.
“Ummm, excuse me Detective, but I have no clue why you’re here. I wouldn’t kill somebody just because we had an argument. How would I get promoted that way?”
“Everybody says you’re temperamental.”
“Why did you listen to them? The problem these days is that everybody hates everyone who has a higher standing than them…”
After the interview ended, Noah met back up with Duncan, and the two shared their results over lunch at a deli.
“Courtney seems suspicious. She avoided the subject of Trent’s murder and went on a huge rant about her employees. I see why you dumped her.” Noah started.
“Harold avoided me too. He just said ‘I’m glad Trent died. He was so arrogant, GOSH!!!’ He was arrogant.” D, Meet me at Bannister’s Wharf. Noon G
“Basically, we had no leads there period. Am I right Duncan?” Noah asked.
“You’re very right.” Duncan confirmed.
The two sat in silence on the way back to Newport, there seemed to be no logical reason for any of the four suspects to ever kill Trent Donovan. Duncan’s phone vibrated, and a text appeared.
Duncan grinned and sent a reply
Sure. See u l8r-Duncan
When the two arrived back at the station, Noah headed for the building, while Duncan headed away and down a few blocks to Bannister’s Wharf. In front of the Ben & Jerry’s before the actual docks was Gwen. Weirdly enough, there was nobody else here, despite a steady stream of tourists into Newport this time of year.
“Well, how are we doing today Duncan?”
“Pretty good, you wouldn’t believe how the case is going. The biggest amount of evidence we have that will arrest somebody is Heather’s horrible singing.”
“I have something that will clear up your case a little.”
Gwen pressed a handgun to Duncan’s forehead, just like on TV.
“I take it you’re the murderer and you want to get rid of me too.”
“Your right Duncan, I like guys like you. Too bad you’re the one who could arrest me.”
“Why did you murder Trent?”
“Because Heather was right!” Gwen exploded, “He was dating Heather when he first asked me out. And do you know where else you’ve heard my last name?”
“THE STUPID SOFTWARE COMPANY! My parents are rich, and now because of the Trent thing, I’m completely disinherited! He disgraced me; I had to have revenge! Plus, you’re in the way, so I have to get rid of you. I’ve already set up evidence against Heather; but you got there before I set it up. So now you know. I know it’s cliché, but any last words?”
“Yes, I do. They are… Nice try.”
At that moment, four police cruisers stand stopped at the entrance to the wharf. Seven officers, Noah and Police Chief Hatchet surrounded Gwen and Duncan.
“I radioed Noah that I was here, and kept it on. Your little confession was broadcasted directly to Chief Hatchet over here,” Duncan said while pointing to an enraged Chief Hatchet. He stepped up,
“YOU’RE UNDER ARREST CRAZY MURDERER!!!” Chef Hatchet shouted while slapping handcuffs on Gwen. Noah stepped up to Duncan.
“At first, I was coming down here to say how stupid you were. But then I heard Gwen so… Thanks.” Noah said while watching Gwen attempt to resist arrest. “I also didn’t know a handcuffed chick could be that tough.”
“Well Noah, if you want to have a case pretty much solved for you, all you have to do is flirt with the suspects.”
“Riiight Duncan. This has been the weirdest case ever. Before this happened, I would have thought anything like this happening was impossible. You wanna get donuts?”
The two detectives left the wharf, concluding their horribly planned case.
(Author's Note. Me: This really was an epic fail
Duncan: It wasn’t that bad kid.
Noah: Yes, it was that bad.
Me: Thanks for the support Duncan. Quit being you Noah.
Noah: Why are you doing this AN interview thing Tdirm?
Me: I really don’t know, see ya and I hope I don’t get a scathing review.)
I sat alone in a café, sipping tea from a ceramic mug. I browsed through the newspaper, looking for something interesting to read. I glanced out the window, and was surprised to see a friend running towards the café. She was holding a sheet of paper in her right hand, as she picked up her pace. She burst through the front door.
“Hiya, Beth!” I giggled, “I just found the fashion section in the newspaper, wanna read it with me?”
“Maybe later, Linds,” She replied, “But right now we need your help!” The Killer Grips were on week away from the set, after winning the previous challenge. Beth had stayed at the medical tent after she had gotten a cold, “Okay, so one morning, I woke up, and Leshawna was missing!!”
“Not Lequisha!” I exclaimed.
“Yes, Lequi- I mean Leshawna!” Beth corrected, “Well, I found a note on her bed! I ran outside to tell everyone, when the guys said that the same thing had happened to Justin! The notes said, ‘I have your friends, and soon I’ll get you too.’”
“Justin too?!! AWW!! Can this day get any worse?!!” I whined.
“Focus, Lindsay, I’m sad too, but we can’t let emotions get in the way. Well, then Harold said he could figure it out with his mad skills, but that’s not the point!! So, the four of us that are left at the film lot want you to come back to the movie lot with us to solve the mystery!!” Beth finished.
“Well, okay… But after I finish the fashion section!” I said.
“We don’t have time, we’ve got to go!!” Beth stated. She grabbed my wrist and we ran back to the film lot as fast as we could.
“Well, it’s about time you two got here!” Duncan exclaimed.
“Enough talk, Duncan, we need to find Justin!” I yelled. I looked around, and suddenly observed something, “Wait a second!! Omar isn’t here either!!”
“Owen was voted out already, Lindsay,” Beth explained. Just then, a long, black limousine pulled up to the curb. A middle height brunette stepped out.
“Hey, princess,” Duncan greeted.
“Shut it, Duncan!” Courtney exclaimed, “Beth, as soon as I got your text, I ordered my limo driver to take me here.”
“Sorry to disappoint, princess,” Duncan said, “But we’ve got things under control.”
“You need me, I used to be a CIT!!” She argued, “If anyone’s gonna leave, it’s him!” She pointed to Harold.
“You need me just as much as you think we need you! I have mad skills!” Harold said.
“All of you knock it off!” Beth exclaimed, “If we’re going to solve this mystery, we need teamwork!”
“She’s right…” Courtney admitted.
“Well, if I learned anything at CIA training camp-“ Harold began.
“You were trained by the CIA?” Duncan asked.
“Why, Duncan? Are you afraid of me now?” Harold asked, “You should be! There’s no place that can prepare you for stuff like this other than Carl’s Investigation Academy!” Courtney rolled her eyes.
“First, we’re going to figure out who our suspects are,” Courtney instructed, “Who would be motivated enough to want to kidnap contestants? Possibly they want ultimate revenge on the show, or Chris. No contestants, no show.”
“True,” Beth said, “Who do you think could’ve done it, Linds?”
“Chef Hacker,” I stated, “He’s soooo creepy!”
“I doubt it,” Harold said, “This show pays his bills.”
“Maybe somebody wanted revenge on Leshawna or Justin,” Courtney said.
“Well, Izzy never liked Justin,” Duncan said.
“True,” Courtney nodded.
“Heather would want to take out Leshawna,” Beth pointed out.
“No, they made amends,” Courtney said.
“They did?” Harold asked, “At last, my two ladies are getting along!”
“How did you know?” I inquired.
“My PDA,” Courtney explained.
“So, probably not Heather,” Harold stated.
“Oooh! What about Eva?” I exclaimed, “Remember in the torture challenge when Leshawna beat Eva? They started hating each other!”
“Wow, Lindsay, that was smart,” Duncan complimented, “Especially for you.”
“I have my moments,” I asked, then I gasped, “The kidnapper got Tyler too!”
“Or not…” Duncan murmured.
“What about the people that didn’t make it onto the show?” Harold asked.
“They seemed pretty cool with not being on the show,” Courtney remarked.
“So that leaves them out,” Duncan stated.
“Maybe those interns that quit the show! They always had a bone to pick with Chris!” Beth exclaimed.
“That makes sense,” Courtney said, “So we have Izzy, Eva and Phil the intern. Let’s start with Izzy.”
“Why don’t we split up? It’ll save time,” Beth suggested.
“Not a chance!” Duncan said, “Don’t you know the rules of kidnapping? When we split up they’ll pick us off one by one! First the plucky, comic relief kid, that’s you, Harold,” His eyes lit up, “On second thought, let’s go alone!”
“They will not!” Courtney argued, “And it’s not like this is a movie Duncan! But, if it makes you happy, we’ll go together.”
“I don’t know, Courtney,” Harold persisted, “I’d kind of like to get this over with.”
“I think that we should go together,” I stated.
“Two on three,” Duncan pointed out, “We win!”
“Let’s start with Izzy,” Courtney said.
“Sounds good to me,” Duncan shrugged.
“Everyone into my limo!” Courtney announced. We all walked over to where Courtney had parked the limo. The limo was gone, and there was note where it parked.
I picked the note up and read it aloud, “It’s in some alien language!”
“It’s upside down,” Beth turned the paper around.
“Oh,” I began to read, “I’ve taken your limo and I will pick you off, one by one.”
“Told you!” Duncan exclaimed.
“We’ll just have to walk,” Beth shrugged. We began walking to where the losers stayed, a hotel, two miles north of the film lot.
“Hold on, I have to take a whiz,” Harold complained.
“Fine, go Harold,” Courtney said, “But go quickly.” Harold ducked into a nearby restaurant. We heard a scream from inside. We then saw Harold being carried away by a figure in black.
“Duncan, go check the boys bathroom!” I ordered.
“Ugh, fine…” He muttered. He walked inside, and then came back out, carrying a note; he read it aloud, “Now I’ve got Harold. Four more to go.”
“Let’s get a move-on,” Courtney exclaimed. We began walking again. We soon arrived at the hotel.
“Which room is Izzy staying in?” I asked at the front desk.
“Room 213,” The woman replied.
“Room 213,” I repeated to Duncan, Beth and Courtney.
“Okay, let’s go,” Beth said. We all entered the elevator and pushed the button for floor two. We arrived at the room that said 213 at the top, in fancy golden letters. I knocked, and we waited for a response.
“WHAT IS IT?!!” We heard from inside.
“Izzy?” I asked, “It’s us! Courtney, Duncan, Beth, and Lindsay!”
“Well, why didn’t you say so?” Izzy asked, as the door swung open, “Come on in!” We entered.
“You know that guy, Justin?” Duncan asked.
“Justin…” Izzy winced.
“Yeah, him,” Duncan nodded, “Would you ever, oh, I don’t know… Kidnap him?!”
“Yeah, sure,” Izzy nodded, “Why?”
“Oh, you’re good!” I complimented.
“Enough of that kind of stuff, Duncan. Izzy, some mysterious happenings have been going on around the film lot,” Courtney said, “And we wanted to know if you knew anything about them?”
“I don’t,” She stated, “But do you know who does?” We shook our heads, “EXPLOSIVO!!! BOOM BOOM!!” She whipped open her closet door, and took out several sticks of dynamite, “Boom boom!” Her eye twitched, as she lit a match.
“Well, thank you for your time!” We all ran out of her room as fast as we could. Soon, we entered the lobby. We headed towards the door, but Beth ran ahead of us, and out the door. She turned around to face us.
“Guys, I get it now!” She exclaimed, “There’s only one person out there who would have enough motive to kidnap contestants! It’s obviously-“ A figure dressed in black ran by, and snatched up Beth. She screamed, as a note fluttered to the ground.
Courtney picked it up, “Three of you remain, good luck trying to stop me.” Courtney looked nervous.
“You’re not scared, are you princess?” Duncan asked.
“Of course not!” Courtney said.
“Come on, guys!” I said, “We have to go find Eva!” We all looked at each other.
“The gym,” We nodded.
We soon arrived at the local gym, and to no surprise, we found Eva inside. She was punching a punching bag.
“Eva?” Courtney interrupted her rhythmic workout, “We need to ask you a question. Do you know anything about the kidnappings of Justin or Leshawna?”
“Don’t know, don’t care!” Eva stated, as she stepped on Courtney’s foot. Courtney hobbled back over to us.
“Let me try,” Duncan volunteered, “Hey Eva, I hear Leshawna got kidnapped, pretty great, huh?”
“Yeah, sure, whatever,” She replied.
“You, by any chance wouldn’t- DID YOU DO IT?!” Duncan yelled.
“No,” Eva said.
“Darn, that always works!” Duncan exclaimed in frustration.
“Why don’t I give it a shot?” I asked.
“Go ahead,” Courtney said.
I walked over to Eva, and before I could open my mouth, “No.”
“I think she’s innocent,” Courtney said.
“I agree,” Duncan nodded, “So that leaves the intern.” We left the gym, and headed uptown to Phil’s apartment. Courtney was able to locate him on her PDA. All the way uptown, Courtney became more and more nervous. She became so nervous that on the way up the pavement to Phil’s apartment, she fainted. We had no idea, until we turned around to find that she was being taken away by the figure in black. There was a note left in her place.
I picked it up, “Flee while you can.”
“Let’s go,” Duncan ordered. I nodded. We arrived at Phil’s house. Duncan pounded a fist on the door, “Open up!!” The door creaked open, “Let’s go inside.” We entered the house, and started looking through the house. We soon arrived at a room, and we opened the door. We were shocked to find Phil, tied up. I walked over, and took off the rope that bound his mouth.
“A man in black! He came! And he, he tied me up!” Phil exclaimed.
“Everything will be okay now,” I comforted, “What should we do now, Duncan? Duncan?” I turned, but he was gone, “Duncan?!!” I frantically ran out of the room, and desperate to hide, opened a door next to the room where I had found Phil tied up. I was amazed to find a man in black, as well as Justin, Leshawna, Harold, Beth, Courtney and Duncan. The man tackled me, but I quickly dodged him. He landed face first on the ground, unconscious. I removed the ski mask covering his face, and it was Chef!! “I knew it!!” I exclaimed gleefully, as I untied Duncan. The two of us proceeded to untie the others.
“Nice job, girl!” Leshawna congratulated, “Give me some sugar, baby!!” She grabbed me in a bear hug, and only after my face turned blue did she let go.
“Good work, Lindsay,” Justin smiled. I giggled.
“I knew you could do it, Linds!” Beth exclaimed.
“Yes, good job, Lindsay!” We all turned to face the door, and none other than Chris McLean walked in, “You’ve won this weeks challenge, and the reward that goes with it!”
“Yay!” I laughed.
“You get… The rest of the of your week off!” Chris exclaimed.
“Wait, but I already had that…” I muttered.
“That’s right! But now Beth and Courtney don’t! You’re the only one who gets it,” Chris remarked.
“What?!” Courtney shouted, “What a gyp!”
“Yeah, people tell me that a lot…” Chris said, “All of you, head back to the set, except Lindsay, you can go wherever you want.”
I merrily skipped out the door. I had the rest of the week to do whatever I felt like doing!
Fifteen letters were mailed to fifteen people, they all read:
"Dear Loser:" Ezekiel read aloud.
"You have either not qualified" Eva read.
Or have been voted off of Total Drama Action." Bridgette read.
"You have been invited to the party of the year!" Geoff read, "Cool a party!"
"The party will be at 7:00, on September 26th, 2009." Katie and Sadie read together.
"The party is at my mansion," Tyler read aloud.
"Located at 123456 Atroude Drive." Izzy read.
"There will be food," Owen read thinking, "Yum! Food!"
"Music," Trent read.
"And a game that, if you win," Noah read saying, "Woo-hoo! A party! ".
"There will be an awesome surprise gift!" DJ read.
"Please do come, you will regret it if you don't!" Gwen read."
"Your awesome host," Heather read saying, "Awesome my butt!"
"Chris McLean" Cody finished reading his letter.
September 26th, 2009 6:59
One by one, all of the guests arrived. Everybody danced, laughed, and had fun. Chris interrupted the fun saying, "Okay, it's time for the game!"
"What about dinner?" Owen asked.
"Fine!" Chris was eager to start the game.
The guests all ate dinner, well what was left after Owen was finished eating! "Okay. Okay. Time for the game!"
Everybody, but Noah, Heather, and Eva cheered.
"It's a murder mystery game!"
"Cool! I've played many of these before!" Cody said.
"Perfect! Then you will know how to play dead, when you're murdered in the game!" Heather laughed.
"This is how it works; you will each draw a role out of this hat. The role you have has a room to go to, you will find instructions on what you are supposed to do. Memorize your instructions and report back here, in the dining room. There are three victims, eleven suspects, and one murderer."
One by one, each of the guests drew roles, and went directly to the room they were told. They all studied and memorized their instructions, and headed back to the dining room. Chris took all of the instructions and burned them. "The game starts now!"
“Oh yeah, I forgot, if you have the murderer, you automatically lose the game!” Chris said.
“I have to go to the restroom.” Heather said.
“I have to get something to drink, I’m parched.” Gwen said.
“Me too.” Trent said.
“I have to go brush my hair.” Bridgette said.
All four of them left. Trent and Gwen headed to the kitchen, while Heather and Bridgette went to one of the two bathrooms. The bathroom Heather went to was by Chris’s library. The one Bridgette went to was near the Kitchen.
The lights went out for one minute. There was screaming. When the lights came on, Sadie lay on the floor with a fake knife in her back.
Katie screamed and started crying, “Sadie! No Sadie! Who did it? Who?”
“It’s all fake, it’s a part of the game.” Eva said.
Gwen and Trent returned from the kitchen, and gasped at what they saw.
“Why? Why Sadie?” Katie continued to cry.
“Because she drew a victim card.” DJ explained.
Bridgette made it back from the bathroom saying, “I heard screaming, and I tried to make back as fast as I could. What happened?” Bridgette was out of breath.
“Sadie was the first victim.” Geoff explained.
Bridgette noticed Katie crying and said, “Don’t worry Katie, it’s not real.”
“Where have you been?” Trent asked.
“I was in the bathroom.” Heather was shocked.
“The bathroom right by the kitchen.” Cody said.
“And the kitchen is right by the dining room!” Gwen added.
“Pretty suspicious, eh. Ezekiel said.
“Please! There were twelve people in the dining room, which means anyone of them could have done it!” Heather defended herself.
“She’s right; it could be anyone of you all.” Izzy said.
“What do you mean you all?” Tyler said.
“Well, I didn’t do it!” Izzy said.
“I didn’t do it either!” Noah said.
“How do we know if you’re lying?” Eva asked.
“What do you mean if? I’m not lying!” Izzy and Noah said in unison.
“Well, you’re crazy” Eva pointed to Izzy, “and you’re lazy!” Eva pointed to Noah.
“I think you just proved Noah to be innocent.” Heather pointed out.
“You’re right, Noah’s to lazy to walk to get a fake knife and come back in a minute.” Geoff pointed out.
“How do you know that’s what you’re supposed to do?” Owen asked.
“I don’t.” Geoff said.
“I’m hungry.” Heather said. “I didn’t get anything to eat, because the big guy here ate almost everything!” Heather walked to the kitchen, and made herself a sandwich, and get her a glass of orange juice. She then headed to the library to read a book.
“I forgot my hairbrush in the bathroom.” Bridgette said.
“I’m hungry!” Owen said.
“There’s a shocker!” Eva said.
Owen headed to the kitchen. He noticed a cookie jar and said, “Yum! Cookies!” He lifted the top of the jar, and a secret passageway was revealed. He wondered what he should do, so he grabbed all of the cookies and entered the secret passage way.
“I’m going to go check on him.” Cody said.
Cody went into the kitchen and saw the secret passageway. He followed the cookie crumbs and found Owen passed out on the ground. Cody ran back to the dining room and yelled, “Owen has fainted and he is just laying there on the ground.”
Bridgette returned saying, “I can’t find my hairbrush.”
The lights went out for five minutes, and then came back on.
Cody grabbed Bridgette and asked, “Do you have experience with first aid?”
“Yeah why?” She was confused.
“Come with me.” Cody ran towards the secret passageway and Bridgette followed. When they reached where Owen was, he wasn’t there.
“Where is he?” Bridgette asked. “Is this some kind of prank?”
“No. I swear he was here.” Cody said. “Let’s follow the cookie crumbs.”
“Okay. Whoa!” Bridgette tripped over something. “My hairbrush!”
“How did it get here?” Cody asked.
“I don’t know.”
“Have you ever been in this passageway before?” Cody asked.
“No! I haven’t.” Bridgette said.
Trent came running after them saying, “Owen came back.”
They all headed for the dining room.
“Where’s the mean girl, eh?” Ezekiel asked.
“Which one, Heather or Eva?” Tyler asked without thinking.
“Heather!” Ezekiel said.
“She was in the library.” Bridgette said.
Katie ran to the library and screamed. Heather was laying there with a rope around her neck. Everybody ran to the library.
Chris came in and said, “Move all of the victims’ bodies to the deck in the back yard.”
They did so.
“I’m thirsty, anybody want a bottle of water?” Trent asked.
“No.” Everybody responded.
Trent went to the kitchen to get him something to drink. He chugged the whole bottle. He came back and collapsed.
“Trent!” Gwen yelled.
Everyone was shocked.
“Well that’s three deaths,” Chris came in and said. “Now all the people need to pick who you think the murderer is.” He handed everybody a piece of paper and a crayon.
“Seriously? A crayon?” Heather asked.
“Just write down your name, and who you think the murderer is!”
Everybody did as told.
“Okay, the top ten people chosen were: Tyler, Katie, Bridgette, Heather, Cody, Gwen, Trent, Izzy, Sadie, and DJ. Why did you choose the victims?” Chris asked.
Everybody shrugged. The lights went out, yet again, and came on thirty seconds later. Everyone screamed. Cody lay there on the deck, with a brick by his head.
“That’s why!” Sadie said.
“One of the victims is a liar!” Chris laughed. “The top five chosen were: Izzy, Bridgette, DJ, Cody, and Tyler. The top three were: Bridgette, Izzy, and DJ.””Me? Why me?” DJ asked.
“Because, you are super nice, and you would make the perfect fake murderer.” Geoff explained.
“The top two chosen were: Bridgette and DJ. Bridgette had the most votes.” Chris told them.
“How many votes did I have?” Bridgette wanted to know.
“Seven.” Chris told her. “Now everybody reveal the cards you picked at the beginning of the game.”
Bridgette’s card said Suspect Five.
“If you picked Bridgette, you were wrong!” Chris laughed.
DJ had Suspect Eleven. Izzy had Suspect Ten. Gwen had Suspect Six. Ezekiel had Suspect One. Eva had Suspect Two. Noah had Suspect Seven. Sadie had Victim One. Heather had Victim Two. Geoff had Suspect Three. Tyler had Suspect Nine. Owen had Suspect Four.
“We’re down to three!” Chris said.
Katie’s card said Suspect Eight.
“Either Trent or Cody is a liar!”
“I am. I’m the liar and the murderer.” Trent revealed his card, it said Murderer. “I thought it would be fun to spice things up, so I decided to pretend to be a victim so nobody would vote for me.”
“Smart! I like the way you think!” Chris admired Trent for a moment.
Cody revealed his card it said Victim Three.
“Now sit down if you voted for Bridgette.” Chris said.
Gwen, Tyler, Katie, Ezekiel, DJ, Owen, and Sadie all sat down.
“Sit down if you voted for DJ.”
Noah, Cody, and Heather sat down.
“Sit if you voted for Izzy.”
Eva and Bridgette sat down.
“If you voted for Tyler sit down.”
Geoff sat down.
“Who voted for Trent?” Chris asked.
“I did.” Izzy said.
“So did I, but that doesn’t count.” Trent said.
“Izzy is the winner!” Chris announced.
Everybody cheered for Izzy.
“What’s my prize?” Izzy asked.
“You can have a choice! You can go home right now with 50,000 dollars, or you can return on Total Drama Action, for the last time!”
“I’ll take the 50,000!” Izzy said.
“Okay!” Chris said.
Later that night, Izzy got her check and left. Chris made everyone leave not to long after Izzy left. One week later, Izzy got a call from Chris wanting her to return to Total Drama Action because Izzy had not been voted off yet!
The smooth, gray, sidewalk, littered with leaves and dead grass. August was coming to an end, and soon Duncan Nelson would be back on parole, back in juvenile hall. August was the only month that Duncan could get out through that exit door guarded with an electric fence and barb-wire, not to mention seven highly-trained security guards and a raging bull. With red jumpsuits, if any of the child criminals tried to escape from the Muskoka Juvenile Hall out of season, the bull would nail it down and the kid would get chained to the wall for a day if he even came out of the bull’s grasp alive. That one month of freedom was all they had to avoid the torture.
But even that freedom would come to a close by next year. A mentally unstable thirteen-year-old who resided at the Musk Hall, as Muskoka Juvenile Hall was dubbed by the wrongdoers, had physically assaulted Jackson Michaels, a famous pop musician, and stole his wallet, emptying all the cash, credit cards, debit cards, and Jackson Michaels’ own driver’s license and tried to pass off as him during the month of freedom. So by next year, there would be no more summer break. The kids’ permanent home would become the Musk Hall, never leaving beyond the angry bull who loathed red jumpsuits.
Duncan was walking along that smooth, gray sidewalk as he thought about all this with his thirty-nine year old mother. She was the only one that believed that Duncan could change, as opposed to others—his father didn’t even love Duncan, and his little brother Steve made him look like a failure. Yannick and Victor, Noah’s uncle and paternal grandfather respectively, called him a “rotten scum” and treated him harshly. Every word they spoke to Duncan whipped him across the heart. Even Jocelyn and Simon, Duncan’s maternal grandparents, thought that maybe he should show some heart, despite the fact that they had clearly seen his kiss to Courtney right on their old black-and-white TV screen.
Duncan’s thoughts were abruptly interrupted by a clomping noise. “What was that?” he asked his mother.
“I’m not sure,” she replied. Suddenly there was another clomping noise. “What the heck?” Duncan’s mother muttered. She picked up a rock, which had suddenly seemed to fall on the sidewalk.
Suddenly Duncan heard a sound like one a kid practicing martial arts would say, and then there was an uncomfortable bashing noise. Duncan didn’t need to know what the sound was that time—a rock had hit Duncan’s mother on the bridge of her nose. She gave out a pained yelp and collapsed right over on the sidewalk, stunned.
“Mom!” Duncan screamed. For as cold-hearted as he seemed through the outside, he cared deeply for his mother. “Are you all right?”
“I’m fine, Duncan,” she said rather weakly but firmly. Duncan could tell his mom was trying to shake the injury off. “Just take me home. The worst that can happen is that I’m going to break my nose.”
“You really don’t look okay, Mom.” Duncan was very worried, and his tone showed. “I should at least take you to the hospital. If you do break your nose, that’s the ideal place to fix it, right?”
“Whatever, fine.” Madison Nelson acted quite young for her age. Soon, Duncan dragged his mom to the hospital, and after going through every weird thing people at the hospital went through, Duncan returned home. A few days passed and nothing happened. Then, with five days left till Musk Hall opened again, Duncan’s family received the news that they should immediately come down to the hospital. Duncan’s father grumbled and automatically concluded that Duncan had thrown the rock at his own mother. An outright lie!
Duncan was the first who was allowed to go into the room where his mom lay, mainly because he was with her at the time that she had been injured. Madison Nelson looked weak, and something about her eyes made Duncan think she was about to burst into tears. He approached his mother awkwardly, and said, “Mom?”
His mom grunted. “Wha?” She seemed even tougher than before.
“Do you have any last words to say for me?”
“Well, I guess I can give you some advice.” She struggled to get up, but finally whispered, “Sea sponges are animals, not plants.”
“What?” Whatever Mom meant didn’t make sense to Duncan.
“You heard me the first time.” Soon, a nurse called Duncan out, and there was nothing left to do but think as his family left the hospital. Think…and think…and think…
And then, something forced Duncan to cry. At first he tried to stop his crying, but in the end there was no use. Duncan knew the rest of the guys at the Musk Hall would kill him once he got there—nobody EVER cried. It would be even worse, because Duncan was barely a delinquent at all during the one-month break, especially around his mother. Duncan cried when his family was driving home, too. When they returned to his house, Duncan could barely open his eyes. They were bristled together by millions of dried-up tears. And Duncan kept crying.
At least, that is, until Duncan’s father slapped him across the eyes. “You are a criminal,” he said fiercely. “You’re not supposed to, but you are one, you idiot. Criminals think their mothers are #@*!)es, not sources of happiness and comfort. Even if you weren’t a little delinquent, I WILL NOT TOLERATE YOU BEING A WHINY LITTLE SISSY!” Duncan rubbed his eyes and squirted out some tears that were still in them.
“Got it, Dad.” He muttered, “Sheesh,” for good measure, then went inside.
The next day was pretty uneventful, for the Nelsons had received some news.
Madison Nelson was no longer at the hospital.
She was dead.
Everyone cried except for Yannick and Victor, who felt no sympathy at all for anybody, especially a woman who believed that rotten scum of a nephew/grandson Duncan could change ways. THAT was certainly unusual.
Duncan sat stiff most of the day. He was the only one who had witness how his mom had died, so he had to be sure about this. But he was pretty sure that nobody would throw a rock at his mother accidentally. It was murder, not manslaughter, which had caused his mother’s death.
And he would find the culprit.
So Duncan met with a police officer named Leshawna Hamilton two days later. There were already some suspects—a black kid who was Duncan’s arch-enemy was number one on the list.
The two found a bit of evidence, too. The rock which had hit Madison Nelson still lay where it was, much to Duncan’s surprise. There was a small scratch from where it had hit, but there were no fingerprints visible. More proof that the murder was planned.
On the second day Leshawna and Duncan had met, Leshawna said suddenly, “White boy, you’re gonna need a lawyer. So that’s why I hired one for you.”
“Wha—?” Duncan asked. “There’s going to be a trial?”
“Well, what would you expect?” Leshawna laughed. “Anyway, your lawyer’s name is Stephan Ganatik. You’ll meet him soon.”
The days came and went. Duncan was even allowed a day off from the Musk Hall because the staff claimed he had to get over his grief before he came back. Soon, Duncan met his lawyer.
“You look familiar,” Duncan pointed out. Stephan Ganatik was white, with brown hair and wide, long eyes.
“Everyone says that,” Stephan replied.
And then came the trial. The black kid was claimed the Defense, while Duncan and his family were the Prosecution. The whole thing came, with Stephan and Fiona Comotaka, the Defense’s lawyer, cross-examining and direct-examining witness (Duncan thought he saw his father himself as one of the witnesses) and giving opening and closing statements. Then the jury made their confirmation, and the foreman of the jury went up. He took a deep breath and said:
“We confirm that Simon Nelson, Jr. is guilty.”
Duncan’s own father? Duncan could clearly see the possibility in it all—his father always wanted him to shape up and change heart, or at least quit being a sissy. And he had scolded Duncan’s mother in their video message to his Total Drama Island letter for saying “Oh, of course we love Duncan!”
But then he remembered: Simon had cried along with the rest of the group. Sure, he only had shed a single tear, but it felt as if it was enough to fill three countries.
Duncan had seen him shed that single tear once before: when Duncan’s dog, Petie, ran away when Duncan was six and his father thirty-two. It wasn’t much, but for a father like him, it was a whole lot.
It showed that his father cared.
And it showed that his father would never kill another human, and deeper than the fact that he was just a cop: You don’t kill somebody if you care.
Thinking all this, Duncan did the unbelievable: He got out of his seat.
And then he said, “My father’s not guilty.” And then Duncan said exactly what was on his mind.
The judge looked puzzled for a minute and thought Duncan’s words over. Finally, the judge banged his gavel and said, “We don’t exactly know who’s guilty in this case. We’ll think it over. In the meantime…you can all go home.”
On the way home, Simon Nelson clapped a hand on Duncan’s shoulder. “If it wasn’t for you, I’d be in jail right now. Thank you, son.” Simon smiled.
And that’s when Duncan knew that his father was a sea sponge. And sea sponges did not deserve to be treated like plants.
12:30, Downtown Muskoka.
It was all over the news. The whole town of Muskoka was buzzing about it. The crime, the suspects, and the punishment for this horrible deed. I was called in.
It was just a normal day for me. I had just finished my early-mid-morning snack when I got the call. I picked up the phone and answered “Owen’s Detective Agency, Owen speaking.”
“Owen, my man! I never knew you ran a detective agency!” I knew that voice. It was Geoff, my buddy from TDI! But why would he be calling a detective agency?
“Hey, Geoff! Why are you calling a detective agency?”
“Cause’ Bridge is MIA!” I gasped. It was more serious than I thought. Worse than I could imagine. I just had one little question.
“Uh…what does MIA mean?”
“Dude, MISSING IN ACTION! This is serious! Bridge is gone!” I gasped. Bridgette? Missing? But why?
“I’ll get on it right away! Right after lunch, that is…wanna come?”
“Dude, are you KIDDING? Let’s go!”
1:02: Burger King.
“Hey, dude!” Geoff exclaimed. We had just sat down with our food. I had always had problems fitting in those tiny seats, but Geoff had no trouble. “I was wondering if we could talk about Bridgette…”
“Can this wait till I finish my whopper?”
“NO!! This is serious, man!"
“Fine…what do we know?”
“Well…” Geoff ponders. “We were getting married in 8 days. She went out to get dinner from her surf shack, and she never came back.”
“Hmmm…where is the surf shack located?”
“Elwood Drive. Why, you gonna go search for evidence?”
“No, I’m gonna search for some fish and chips! Maybe some evidence…but mainly fish and chips!” Geoff facepalms for some reason, then he looks at me with a worried look in his eyes.
“OK, let’s talk suspects. I think Duncan may be behind this. He never had much respect for Bridge. Then again, he’s in enough of a situation with that ravioli pixie chasing him around all day….I don’t care who did it as long as I get my Bridgette back!” He slammed his head down on the table and began to cry. I saw the full story now. Geoff was desperate to get his girl back, and he had trusted me of all people to save her. I understood now. It was time for me to get into serious mode…right after I finish my fries.
4:23: Bridgette’s Surf Shack.
I had just arrived at the surf shack. I was just headed for the crabs when I tripped over something. I was incredibly annoyed until I saw what I had tripped on. A pair of glasses. Only two people in Muskoka wear glasses. Beth and Harold. But Harold had a decent friendship with Bridgette, so it seemed unlikely. Still, I jotted their names down in a notebook I had been carrying around. I kept walking. As soon as I got to the storage area, I noticed another clue. It looked like a straw. A straw that might have DNA on it! I quickly pocketed it. Just then, I saw the most important clue a guy could ask for. Fish sticks! I chowed down as fast as I could, savoring their crunchiness. By the time I had finished, it was dark outside. I had to hurry and get back to the detective agency to put my clues together. Besides, tomorrow they were having a trial with all the suspects, and I had to have all my evidence put together by then.
Tuesday, 3:23: Muskoka Courthouse.
I sat on a bench the jury had prepared for me. The whole gang from TDI was there. In fact, probably everyone who knew Bridgette was here. Duncan had just finished pleading guilty. “Owen, you may rise.” I stood and faced the judge.
“Your honor, I have evidence of who committed this crime.” I laid out the evidence on the table. The judge examined it curiously.
“Well, the glasses I understand, but the straw...” He scanned it with some weird looking device. “It has two DNA signatures on it!”
“Oh yeah, I kinda got thirsty on the way here. Sorry. Hehe. But do you know who kidnapped Bridgette?” The judge whispered with his colleagues. After about half an hour of whispering, half of the jury was asleep. The judge suddenly turned back to face the courtroom, and slammed his hammer-thingy down. Everybody snapped awake.
“By using the…ahem.” The judge glared at me with wild eyes. “Other DNA signature on that straw…we have come to a conclusion. The person who has kidnapped Miss Bridgette Jones is…” The judge pointed to me with a disgusted look on his face. “THAT MAN!!!” Geoff gasped. Beth gasped. Everybody gasped, and the judge slammed his hammer thingy down.
“Me? Why-“Then, Sunday evening came rushing back into my mind. I had made red beans and rice for myself. I had ignored the crucial fact that beans make me sleepwalk. But I didn’t remember kidnapping Bridgette…
“Geoff!” I spun around to see Bridgette running towards Geoff.
“Bridgette!”Geoff cried, and he dashed towards his fiancé. The two embraced.
“Oh, Geoff, I’m so happy to see you! I’ve been trapped in Owen’s food closet for days, and I just managed to escape now!”
“DAYS!?! But how did you…oh right, FOOD closet.”
“Oh, Bridge…” The two passionately made out. A collective “Awwwwwwwww…” was heard from the courtroom. Then the judge turned to me.
“You, sir, are sentenced to juvenile detention for 6 months!” He slammed his hammer-thingy down again, and two goons tried to pick me up and take me out. They grunted and groaned for a while, and they ended up dragging me out.
“Wait! Is the food good in juvie? Wait-NOOO!!!” I cried as I was dragged out and shoved into a police car. Everybody cheered in celebration that Bridgette was found. Just then, Duncan went wide-eyed, and he headdesked.
“What’s wrong, Duncan, honey?” Courtney inquired.
“Juvie’s punishment enough without having to deal with Owen there!”
There was a flash of darkness, a scream, and then the lights came on to reveal that Lindsay was stolen. The cops arrived moments later but I stayed with them because I wanted to do some research because Lindsay's my BFF.
"Have you found any clues?" I asked as I looked at the crime sI saidcene.
"Nothing yet." replied the cop as something caught my eye.
"Look here." I said as I picked up a knife that was lying on the ground.
"Thanks a lot but lets let the professionals do this." the cop said as four teens and one dog came walking up to us.
"Lets split up and look for clues." said the blonde, male teenager.
"I think I can handle this." I said as I got an idea.
"So you need my help." said a teenage boy with a mohawk.
"I need to find out who took Lindsay." I said as I handed him some money.
"You got a deal." Duncan said as we walked back to the crime scene.
"So far we have a knife." I said.
"The only person who would have a knife is Chef." Duncan said as we ran to Chef.
"Where's Lindsay?" I asked excitedly.
"I ain't got no Lindsay!" Chef yelled back.
"I believe you." I said as I walked away.
"Even I'm stumped." Duncan said as he put his hand on a statue and a passageway opened.
"A secret passage." I said in surprise.
"Lets go." Duncan said as they walked into the passage way to see Lindsay tied up and next to her a red head, teenage girl.
"Who are you?" I asked.
"I am Daphne, you worst nightmare." she said very calmly.
"Well I'm calling the cops." I said.
"No your not." she said as she ran away.
"I got it." Duncan said as he as he tackled Daphne.
"Jeepers." Daphne said as she got beat up.
"So it turned Daphne stole Lindsay because she wanted to be the prettiest girl in the world and the knife just fell off a table." I said as people took my picture and Daphne was taken away.
Geoff. Private Eye. The mystery of Izzy's dissappearance.
3:02 PM, Muskoka
I was just sitting at my desk eating chili fries and playing with a paddle ball. My phone started ringing on my desk and I knew someone was calling for a crime.
Yep that’s me. Privite Geoff. I then picked up the phone as it rang the third time.
“Hello. Geoff’s detective agency.” I said. It was a call from Owen. My assistant. “Hello.” He said, “Sorry to bother you but Izzy’s gone missing!” I knew that there was a problem. “Where did you last saw her?” I asked. “We were last at McDonalds eating lunch. You should check there.” Owen told me. “I’ll be right there.” I told him as I hung up.
4:15 PM, McDonalds
It was basically a normal day at McDonalds. People just eating their food and playing with happy meal toys. I decided to ask the guy at the counter if he’d seen a crime.
“Excuse me sir?” I asked him.
“Yes. Do you like to order?” he asked.
“No. I’m wondering if you saw a crime outside of here.” I told him.
“No not that I’ve know of. But you should check down in the city. There’s always crimes down there.” the guy at the counter told me.
“Okay. Thanks.” I said as I head on out and went down to the city.
4:32 PM, Downtown Muskoka
The streets were rough downtown and I knew Izzy would’ve been somewhere around here. As I walked down, I heard something in the ally.
“Psst.” Whispered someone.
“Who’s there?” I asked.
“It’s me.” The person was revealed to be my pal Duncan who normally helps me out with a crime.
“Why are you here?” I asked.
“I heard about Izzy’s disappearance.” said Duncan.
“So do you know where she is?” I asked.
“Yes. I know the exact person who did it.” replied Duncan.
“Who did it?” I asked.
“Heather. I saw the whole thing happen.” said Duncan.
“Where did this happen?” I asked.
“In the bowels of the sewers. You should check.” Duncan replied.
“Okay. I’ll go there tonight.” I said. We then walked off.
8:00 PM, Muskoka Sewers
The sewers were dark at night but I knew that the end of this crime mystery ends here. As I walked deeper and deeper into the sewer, I heard some footsteps. The person walking was none other than Heather with Izzy tied up.
“Hey! Give Izzy back!” I shouted.
“And what will I do if I don’t?” she asked.
“I’m going to call the police.” I told her.
Before I finished, Heather jumped out of the sewers and got away. I untied Izzy in the meantime.
“Thanks Geoff.” she said.
“You’re welcome.” I said.
“Why aren’t you going after Heather?” asked Izzy.
“I set a trap up on her.” I told her.
Back at the streets, Heather walks but a flashing light aims at her. It was the RCMP.
“Heather! You’re under arrest!” They told her.
“What?! Who told you people?” asked Heather.
Duncan hides in the alleyway with a payphone near him.
“Wow. You and Duncan set that up?” asked Izzy.
“Yep.” I said.
7:30 AM, Downtown Muskoka
Heather gets put in the police car and Izzy is reunited with Owen.
“Good work private Geoff as well as you Duncan.” said the RCMP chief.
“All in a day’s worth.” I told him.
And that concludes my story. If you every have a crime problem, just ring private Geoff.
The Party, the Dream, the Challenge, the Zebra
- Note from the author: The reason why there may be some loose ends to tie up and things unexplained is summed up at the end...in Lindsay's Room.
3:10: Playa des Losers
Trent arrives at Playa des Losers for a party. Cody is the only other one there.
“Cody, man, nice to see you.” Trent says.
“You got the letter, too. Huh.” Cody says back.
“Yeah.” Trent takes out the letter. It’s ur ttly awesome host Chris. I am writing this 2 tell u that there is a party at teh loser hotel on Sunday, August 2nd. Be there or miss out on teh biggest party evr. If u don’t go u r a pwned n00b.
“That’s a lot of bad grammar.” Cody says.
“It’s leetspeak. …I wonder why it’s like that.” Trent walks away. Ezekiel arrives, then Geoff, then Gwen, then Noah, then Duncan.
“Not many people got the invite, I see.” Gwen says to Trent.
“Yeah.” Trent says back.
“Guys, did you notice the grammar of that thing?” Duncan interrupts.
“The letter, you mean?” Trent asks.
“Yeah, that.” Duncan says.
Bridgette and Eva arrive. Eva is in a straightjacket.
“Why is Eva in a straightjacket?” Gwen asks.
“Juvie.” Duncan responds. Finally, Chris arrives.
“Chris is finally here.” Cody says.
“Yep.” Chris says. “The epic host is here.”
“That doesn’t sound like something Chris would say…” Cody whispers to Gwen.
“Hey, where’s Bridgette?” Trent asks.
3:30: Playa des Losers Basement
“And stay there!” A voice says.
“Mmph! Mmph!” Someone appears to be gagged.
3:31: Playa des Losers Airport
“We got an airport installed here while you weren’t here.” Chris explains.
“Whatever…what are we here for?” Eva says.
“A Total Drama Action preparation challenge!” Chris smiles.
“Well?” Duncan asks. “What is it?”
“This!” Chris pulls a switch, and everything is dark. Bridgette mysteriously appears when the lights are on.
“Where’d blonde surfer come from?” Eva asks.
“It’s a hint…” Chris says. “To solve the murder mystery challenge!”
“Bridgette’s the murderer. Can we leave?” Gwen says.
“Nope.” Chris says. “She isn’t.”
“Then what was the hint?” Duncan asks.
“Detective Bridgette!” Chris says.
“Anyone notice someone missing?” Cody says.
“Ezekiel…” Chris notices. “That wasn’t according to the operation…”
“What operation?” Eva asks.
“Nothing, nothing.” Chris suspiciously confirms.
3:39: Playa des Losers
“Hmm…” Bridgette is dressed like Sherlock Holmes.
“Found any clues yet, Bridge?” Cody asks.
“I found this…um…thing, with a thing next to it.” Bridgette says.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Eva asks.
“DNA. I’ll take it to the lab.” Bridgette says.
“There’s a lab here?” Noah pops in.
“Yes.” Bridgette confirms.
3:50: Playa des Losers Lab
“I’m scanning the DNA right now…” Bridgette is at a machine.
“And how will this tell us whose DNA it is?” Noah asks.
“I’m gonna take everyone’s DNA scans…and plus, I have Geoff, Justin, Harold, and LeShawna’s scans as well.” Bridgette explains.
“Good. That’ll help.” Eva says.
“Found anything yet?” Duncan asks.
“I found…” Bridgette stops.
“Yes?” Cody says.
“ … … … … … … …” Bridgette is silent.
“Tell us before I get too jittery.” Noah says.
“You don’t get jittery.” Gwen says.
“Ever heard of SARCASM?” Noah says back.
“What did you find, Bridge?” Geoff says anxiously.
“Stop nagging!” Bridgette yells. “Let me scan all of your DNA.”
“How will we do that?” Eva asks.
“Each of you, spit into a cup.” Bridgette commands.
“No way.” Cody says.
“Okay. Then… you can miss out on Total Drama Action.” Bridgette says.
“I already am.” Cody says, and looks down.
“Then spit in the cup.” Bridgette gives Cody a cup.
“Whatever.” Cody does as told.
4:03: Playa des Losers Lab
“I found Duncan’s, Eva’s, Gwen’s, Noah’s, Ezekiel’s and my own DNA.” Bridgette confirms.
“Meaning we should look in the basement.” Eva says.
“What does that have to do with anything?” Noah asks.
“And what is the mystery anyway?” Gwen asks. Chris then pops up.
“Where Ezekiel is!” Chris smiles.
“Um… okay.” Eva says. “To the basement.”
“Whatever.” Bridgette agrees.
4:10: Playa des Losers Basement
“What’s that noise?” Trent asks.
“Flashlight, anyone?” Bridgette asks.
“Nope.” Noah says.
“You got me there.” Trent says.
“No flashlight with the goth girl.” Gwen says.
“Nope.” Duncan and Eva say. No one else had a flashlight.
A figure brushes up against Cody, who screams. A flashlight is handed to Cody by the figure. He shines it on the figure, who is Ezekiel, gagged and tied up.
“EZEKIEL?” Noah says.
“Mmph! MMPH!” Ezekiel tries to speak. Bridgette unties him.
“Noah! What the heck did you tie me up for?” Ezekiel says.
“NOAH DID IT?!” Duncan asks. The lights turn on, and Chris comes in.
“The challenge is completed.” Chris says.
“Whatever.” Eva says. “Can we leave?”
“Not yet!” A cage drops on all of the players. A person is in a Chris suit. That person is Heather.
“REVENGE!” Heather says, when, at the same time, the RCMP arrives.
“The RCMP?” Heather says.
“Yep,” They say. “That’s the second Total Drama contestant we have to arrest.”
“Wait…what’s that sound?” Duncan hears a sound.
“THERE’S A…” Cody freezes up.
“YELLOW ZEBRA!” Noah screams.
7:30: Lindsay’s Room
Lindsay wakes up. “WHOA!” She says. “I just had the freakiest dream EVER. Who would have thought that a beautiful blonde like me could have a kidnapping mystery dream?”
- Note from the author: The note at the beginning says that everything weird is explained in Lindsay's Room. "Who thought that a beautiful blonde like me could have a kidnapping mystery dream?"
Side Note:This is a few years after TDA.
She's dead, I can't believe she is dead. Duncan could not get that thought out of his head, as he was calling the cops. He kept trying to remember the party, but it was all a haze after it happened. He remebered the guests, he came with Courtney, DJ came with bunny, Harold and Leshawna came, Bridgette, Noah, Cody, oh... and that homeschool guy, umm... Azelkel? When we got there Geoff answered the door, with Bridgette at his side.
"Welcome to the party, dude, and Courtney," said Geoff. Duncan looked around the Geoff's house, and saw Noah in the corner, and smirked.
"Why did you invite that loser?" asked Duncan while pointing at Noah. Geoff shruged, and showed them around the house, Duncan noticed that Harold, Leshawna, Cody, and Bunny were playing video games in a room. Duncan rembered all the good times he had with Harold and laughed. Duncan couldn't remember the rest...
Duncan woke up, that was a wierd dream he thought. Duncan didn't remember the unfamiliar surrondings. Duncan looked around and saw some sharp white spikes on the end he could see. He also noted a hole in the ceiling. There was water in the room that was slowly rising.
"How come this place has no doors?" asked Duncan. He looked up and saw a pair of scrawny legs falling through the hole in the ceiling. A scrawny nerdy kid fell into the room, and another, and another.
"It must be nerd-mas," laughed Duncan to himself. Slowly the other three got up.
"Haha very funny," commented Noah.
"Uhh.. guys, the waters up to my waist in here," scaredly Cody said.
"Obivously we are in a " observed Harold. Duncan looked at Harold funny.
"A Spicy-what?" asked Duncan.
"A , or as you would call it a sperm whale, like Moby-Dick" answered Harold. Everyone else laughed at him.
"What did I say guys?" asked Harold...
Duncan woke up, again. That was a wierd dream, about a dream he thought. He opened the door, and screamed.
"The first dream was real?" said a suprised Duncan looking at the dead corpse. Bunny hopped off the dead corpse with a knife, and slowly crept twords Duncan...
Week 7 Stories
Somebody To Trust
“Run, it’s her! The nerd-killer!”
I gritted my teeth and stopped myself from actually killing John, the nerd from my science class. Ever since one daring nerd Harold rigged my student council votes last year and my retaliation to it, which involved hunting him down with a lamppost, all the nerds, who made half of the student body at Aquidneck Academy, avoided me with their lives, despite my apology to Harold. In addition, the rest never liked me to begin with. It didn’t bother me, many members of the Marris family had to go through suffering to get to riches and glory. We were probably the only family in Newport to ever keep one of the mansions on Bellevue Avenue all this time, past the days of the city being a summer retreat for the rich, past the days when the navy base supported Newport then left. Nevertheless, a part of me said that maybe I should care. ‘Come on Courtney,’ it said, ‘They’re verbally abusing you in front of teachers.’ Then the rest of my brain would counter with something like, ‘But they’re the ones who’ll end up working at a gas station in rural New Jersey.’ Then my brain would argue with itself. ‘No, they’ll be the ones who’ll gain command of some Silicon Valley software firm and end up richer than you.’
‘Yeah right, you’re only dreaming that ‘
‘No I’m not, I’m just the SANE side of your brain!’
These arguments can be up to two hours in length. You can tell when they happen, as my class work grades drop drastically. I usually shrugged them off as anxiety, but now I wasn’t sure which side was right. I finished gathering my textbooks and binders I needed for my morning classes, and entered my English classroom, which served as my homeroom, took a seat, and whipped out a copy of “Pride and Prejudice”, in which I was busy in making a oral report on. After about half an hour, Keri, the girl who sits next to me and is the only friend I have, or will ever have for that matter, nudged me in the stomach.
“Courtney, Ms. Misero’s speaking.” She said softly and quickly, a way that was synonymous to her.
Sure enough, she was. “Ok, we have a new student here,” she said unenthusiastically. She pointed to a bow with black hair next to her, “What is your name New-Student-Whom-I-Do-I-Not-Care-About?”
“And where did you move from Trent?”
“Moved from Halifax,” Trent replied. Before he could say that it was in Nova Scotia, as any student in here who had a sense of geography knew, Ms. Misero interrupted, “That’s in England right?”
“Uh…No ma’am, it’s in Canada.”
Then the whole class burst into a fir of giggles and chuckles, Ms. Misero didn’t look embarrassed, which added to them. “Settle down class,” she said, and proceeded to give out work and fill Trent in on what we were doing.
The next period, in Honors Algebra, I had another brain argument. Except this time, the two sides seemed to be agreeing. They said ‘They are teasing you.’ At that moment, I felt a huge pang of loneliness creep through me like the cold I knew would be coming in about a month. Then I realized that Trent never knew me, so he couldn’t hate me at first. All I had to do was befriend him! But it wasn’t so simple. All my life I’ve had problems with my social skills. Trust me; I didn’t even have friends in kindergarten. So what made me think that I could now? It was a wonder Keri was a friend; she had invited me into her clique, and we had stayed together somewhat as all the other members moved away. I sauntered up to his desk in the next class we were in together, Honors Chemistry, with as much confidence as I could muster. Which frankly, was not much.
“Uh, Trent, I was kinda wondering if you wanted to sit with me at lunch. I know the school, so I can show you what it’s like, you know,” I said while trembling, complete with chattering teeth. Why was I like this now? I don’t talk like this to Keri, my parents, or any of my teachers. I was so deeply into these thoughts when Trent finally replied.
“Um, sure,” He said, “But first, what’s your name?”
“Well, it’s nice to meet you Courtney. When’s lunch?”
“Should be after this class.”
“Okay .” Throughout that whole class, my hands were shaking profusely, spilling nearly a quarter of the chemical I was supposed to pour into a beaker onto the metal tray the beaker was on. The teacher was not happy at me for instantly rusting the tray. Finally, the bell rang and Trent and I headed for the cafeteria, him taking large, relaxed strides, and me, taking small, quick steps and looking like a robot on a old T.V. show. We sat down at the edge of a table at the corner of a cafeteria near the windows. We had both brought lunches, so there was no need to go into the mob of people surrounding the lunch line. “So, Courtney,” Trent asked, “What’s your all-time favorite song?” “Hmm, I love pretty much all types of music except rap and country, but my favorite would have to be Lazy Eye by Silversun Pickups.”
“Don’t know that one.”
“I have it on my iPod; I can show you it sometime.”
“Cool, I love listening to new songs.”
“So Trent, what’s your favorite?”
Before Trent had a chance to reply, Izzy Daniels walked over to our spots. Well, she didn’t walk; she twirled and leaped to us, it was simply how she moved, usually breaking things along the way. She opened her mouth and words tumbled out, at a pace you thought you wouldn’t be able to comprehend, but you did,
“Oh hi Trent! Hope you like it here, everybody’s so friendly!” Then she turned towards me, “Oh, it’s you,” she said in a much less perkier tone, “Don’t torture the new kid.”
“What’s your problem Iz?” I asked. We had been friends, only for her to ditch me after the Harold fiasco.
“Yeah, you people are friendly here,” Trent countered sarcastically. Izzy glared at the two of us and left, taking strained strides while looking back at us every now and again.
“What was that about?” Trent inquired.
“Something that happened a long time ago, yet wasn’t ever forgotten. I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Makes sense Courtney. I’ve had my share of those.”
“But did they make the whole school shun you?” I countered.
“Well no, but…” Trent said. Then I exploded for reasons I don’t know.
“See, I have no friends, I’m as lonely as you can get and then some and I’m the butt of all jokes! You don’t get it, I’m the outcast! You should leave me alone while you still have a chance of fitting in!”
Trent seemed unfazed; he just looked me in the eye and said softly.
“It’s not about that Courtney. Tell you what; do you have any friends’ period? Tell me the truth.”
“Ok, I have one, Keri Holler, but we aren’t as close as we once were.”
“Call her after school. Tell her we’ll go to… do have anywhere you like to go for lunch?”
“Well, I have a place where I like to go for breakfast; it’s a little place near the International Tennis Hall of Fame called Annie’s. They have great cinnamon rolls. If we go, when they ask if you want it grilled, say yes Trent.”
“Don’t get ahead of yourself, we’ll go on Saturday morning, and bring Keri too.”
“Sure, sounds great.”
“Um, Courtney, also, your little outburst brought some attention.” He glanced towards the rest of the cafeteria, “Maybe we should finish our lunches in the library.”
“Yeah, sounds great.”
I left the cafeteria, no scratch that we left the cafeteria. I usually hated lunchtime, with it’s taunts and jeers, but now, at least I had someone to endure them with.
Chef Versus the Food Critic
“Welcome to Chef Hatchet’s Road Kill Café, may I take your order?” I asked.
“Um, I think I might need a few more minutes,” Said the customer.
“I’m taking it now!!” I screamed.
“Alright…” He mumbled, “Um, I don’t anything on the menu is all that appetizing… Maybe I should go to another restaurant…”
“YOU WILL EAT HERE, AND YOU WILL LIKE IT!” I retorted.
“Okay… I’ll have the… Watch-a-macallit…” He ordered.
“Good choice, sir, a favorite of mine,” I said, “Would you like anything to drink with that?”
“Yes, I’ll have some iced tea,” He said.
“We don’t have any of your fancy, fru-fru, iced tea!” I exclaimed.
“Then what do you have?” He questioned.
“Water,” I stated.
“That’s it?” He asked.
“YES! You gotta problem with that?! This is the BEST DARN WATER IN TOWN!!” I bellowed.
“I think I’ll have the water…” He stated, meekly.
“EXCELLENT DECISION, SOLDIER!!” I screamed. I turned on my heel and marched back into the kitchen. I had to make a watch-a-macallit. I looked around the kitchen, and peeked into pots and pans. I found some small purple balls, a large orange lump, and some green goo I scraped off of the bottom of my shoe. I tossed it all into a pot. I looked around the kitchen once more. I saw a rat, and caught it. I shrugged, and tossed it into the pot as well. I stirred it a few times, and dumped it into a helmet I found on the ground. I also got his water. I brought the sumptuous meal out to the man. He took one bite, and spat it out.
“UGH!! This is disgusting!!!” He stuttered.
“It is… FLAVOR!!” I argued.
“Well, I can tell you one thing,” He said.
“AND WHAT IS THAT?!!” I screamed.
“That I won’t be giving this place a very good review, that’s for sure,” He stated.
“What gives you the right to do that?” I asked.
“Sir, I am a food critic, this is what I do,” He said.
“A… A food… A food critic…” My face turned pale.
“Yes, sir, a food critic,” He stated, “And this place will not be getting a good review at all.”
“Well, alright then,” I grimaced, “It’s closing time anyway, you’ve gotta leave.”
“Very well,” He said, as he got up and walked away. I switched off the lights, and flipped the sign on the door that said OPEN to CLOSED. I hopped into my rusty old car, and left. I soon arrived at my dilapidated old home, and opened the door. I entered.
“WHO IS IT?!!” Yelled a voice.
“IT’S ME, DARLENE!!” I screamed back.
“WHAT DO YOU WANT?!!!”
“I LIVE HERE, WOMAN!!!!”
“Oh, yeah… Come in, supper’s on the table!” I entered the kitchen and took my usual seat around the dusty dinner table, “So, what happened at work today?”
“The food critic came…” I said between mouthfuls, “And said he would give us a bad review…”
“Well, that’s not right!” She exclaimed, “I know what we should do!”
“You do?” I asked.
“I do!” She said, “We need to sneak into his house, and delete the review from his computer!!”
“Excellent idea, Darlene!” I complemented, “But we don’t know where he lives…”
“We don’t need to…” She grinned. She explained her plan to me, and although I didn’t think it would work out, we put on all black, and left the house. We snuck into the local newspaper’s building, and to little surprise, we found my old friend, the food critic, still there, typing up his review. We looked at him, then to one another and nodded. We took our rope, and tied him up. There was minimal bloodshed, much to Darlene’s disappointment, as well as my own, as we tossed him into a nearby closet, not forgetting to gag him to prevent speech. We turned towards each other and nodded again. I sat at his computer and started reading his review.
“Chef’s Roadkill Café is…” My jaw dropped, “Is the best restaurant on the face of the Earth…”
“Wow…” Darlene said.
“I guess we didn’t need to come…” I said.
“I guess so…” Darlene nodded. And we left.
Epilogue: Darlene and I were arrested for kidnapping, however we were let go in court, and by let go, I mean escaped, and by court, I mean jail.
I was in my room, with my best friend, rehearsing a song in my room.
"I don't get these words! I mean there all weird looking!" Lindsay complained.
"That's because you're holding the script upside down!" I corrected her.
"Oh! It makes a lot more since now!" Lindsay said.
"Okay let's start from the top!" I said turning on my CD player.
"The top of what?" Lindsay asked.
"Start from the top of the page, and sing along with the music!" I explained to her.
"Gee Bella, you sure are smart!" Lindsay said.
"Thanks! My name is Beth, though." I replied.
I started the song over, and I started to sing the lyrics until, "Wait Bertha! This music is boring! I want to change it to better music! Can we?"
"Lindsay it's the music to the song, Mr. Garfield won't like it if we change the music to the song!"
"I want to though!" Lindsay whined.
"We can't, Sorry Linds." I said.
Lindsay's home phone rang; it was my mom wanting me to come home for dinner. "Bye Lindsay!" I said as I was walking out her front door.
"Bye Bell!" She said waving goodbye.
The next morning ,at school, I asked Lindsay, "I'm so excited! Auditions for the Wizard of Oz are on Friday! What part do you want?"
"I want either the character with that cute blue outfit, or I would want to be her dog! It's so cute!" Lindsay said.
"I want to be Dorothy!" I said
"Who's that?" Lindsay asked confused.
"It's the main character." I said, she still looked confused "It's the character that wears the cute blue outfit."
"Oh! So we both want to be Donna."
"Dorothy." I corrected her.
"Okay." She said.
The bell rang;it was time to get to class. After school, I did all of my homework, and then I started to practice Somewhere Over the Rainbow. The music started, and I started to sing until my mom said, "Beth! What is that awful, horrible noise?"
"I was singing." I started to tear up.
"Oh, honey! I'm so sorry!"
"I'm okay mom! Just go!" I wiped the tears from my eyes. My mom left. I tried to sing again, but I said, "What's the point? I'm no good. But then again, I've practiced so hard!" I was confused; I didn't know what to do: should I give up and don't audition or practice more and audition.
Later on Friday...
"Betty! Auditions are today!" Lindsay said.
"I know." I said.
"What's wrong? You seem um... um... what's word?" Lindsay asked.
"Mad. Sad. Depressed, any of those would work." I said.
"No, it's uh... happy! Yes! That's t! You seem very happy today!" Lindsay said.
"No I don't. I'm depressed."I said.
"How come?" She asked.
"It's a long story." I said while walking away.
"Okay! Well you can tell me it in Math class! It can be my bedtime story!" Lindsay yelled.
Later at the Auditions...
"Okay, this is how it works, I will call a name, they will sing a song, then I will ask you to read from a scene from the play. Everybody understand?" Mr. Garfield asked.
"Yes." Everybody responded
Mr. Garfield called everybody but Lindsay and Beth. An hour had passed and Mr.Garfield said, "Beth Burgins, you're up!"
Beth performed Somewhere Over the Rainbow.
"That was, uh, good Beth!" Mr. Garfield had to put his hand over his mouth to resist from laughing. "Lindsay, you're up!"
Lindsay also performed Somewhere Over the Rainbow. However, the music was different. It was more like a rap song.
"Bravo! Brava!" Mr. Garfield said. "Beth, you could learn something from Lindsay! Her performance was beautiful! It was creative, imaginative, and best of all it was unique!"
"Congratulations Lindsay, I think you're going to get Dorothy." Beth said.
"Who?" Lindsay asked.
Mr. Garfield then had all of the people who auditioned act out a scene. "Alright, the cast list will be up on Manday! You can go now!"
"The cast lists are up!" Lindsay said to Beth.
They both ran up to see the list:
Cowardly Lion- DJ
Wicked Witch of the West-Eva
Wicked Witch of the East- Beth
Flying Monkey- Beth
"OMG! Beth, I got Toto!" Lindsay was excited.
"I didn't get the part I wanted!" Beth said.
"Well at least you got a part!" Saide said.
"No way! I got the lead! That's not a shocker!" Heather said.
"Mr. Garfield has some nerve making me a man! Me! A man!" Leshawna was shocked.
"Oh well, I didn't get the part I wanted, so what! At least I'm in the play with my best friend, Lindsay!" Beth said.
(Guess who's telling the story!)
That’s the familiar pattern of sound effects from five o’clock to nine o’clock on your typical breakfast at the M&H Diner. Fresh off the griddle, the Muklain-Hatcher served the finest buttermilk pancakes, plus fine croissants and pastries with scrumptious filling, perfect to go with an espresso or a mug of hot chocolate in the winter.
But what in their right mind, you may ask, would a slightly overweight teenage girl almost out of high school be doing at the cash register, putting on a careless image by flipping her hair back and forth but you could tell really was sad and depressed by her eyes?
Yup, that’s me. In order to get past this endless shift, I have to look as casual as possible while paying attention to everyone’s orders. Often I get regretful and cursing myself for taking a summer job here. But that’s when I remember my purpose for being here: Katie Stengelz.
I’m here because she’s lying unconscious on a hospital bed—possibly dying any second now—trying to outlast the blistering lung cancer she’s going through. And she didn’t even smoke. I mean, how can you get lung cancer if you haven’t touched a cigarette in your lifetime?
She’s also the reason I started dieting. My trainer tells me that if I keep exercising and not gaining too many calories, I should be down to about one hundred thirty pounds in less than three months. In the meantime, I grew out my hair and hung it straight down. I was starting to look kind of pretty—one guy even tried to flirt with me—but I didn’t want to be. I wanted to look as casual as possible so I could be a nobody. Then, when Katie came out of the hospital, safe and cured, I’d go back to playing with her but improve a bit on how to survive without loved ones.
Suddenly I turn around and there’s a college sophomore standing in front of me, tapping her foot impatiently. “I SAID, I wanted a cinnamon roll, a cup of coffee, and a couple links of sausage.”
Oh crap! I was so wrapped up in my thoughts that I had completely forgotten about everyone’s orders. “Right away, ma’am,” I say frantically; then repeat the order to the men behind me.
Wrapped in my thoughts again, I go back to Katie. Suddenly it hits me—what if she doesn’t get cured? What if the people at the hospital just mutter, “She won’t live,” then dump her in a coffin and bury her in the middle of a desert to decay for all time?
No, I think. I won’t let that happen. Katie is too nice not to be cured. And if she still undergoes the cancer, she’ll lose her hair. So what? I’ve shaved my head in plays a million times before. Nothing could be much different.
Then I come to think about next year. I’m finally approaching my last year of coming home on that awful-smelling bus, but it’s so heart-breaking to think that Katie won’t be with me. Because she won’t.
“Eeek!” I shout, startled. A cold, skeleton-ish hand just touched me! I flip around, but all I see is this really hot guy behind me.
Wait! This is my future! The whole reason that hot guy is behind me is because he wants to ask me out! I’m so sure of it! Excited, I break out into a cross-bitten smile, showing as many teeth as I can.
The hot guy looks confused. “Hey, Jewski (my name is Majesczweski, but because it’s so hard to pronounce, people just call me Jewski), why so chipper? Boss just wanted to call you because we had a customer service call. Some guy named Lindsay wanted to know why he didn’t get his pancake he ordered.
I put my hand on my head and moan. I’m going to have to put that brief encounter with the hot guy on Craigslist when I get back home. As I saunter over to our boss’s office, I think, Man, this is gonna be a LOOOOOOOOOOONG summer.
Today was my big day. If my team managed to become champions today, I would be moving on to the Olympics. Today was the day we were competing against the Riptides.
My team, the Waves, might not have had an original name, but we were the 2nd best in all of Canada. The top team in the country? The Riptides. We had pushed ourselves to the limit to get where we are, and it showed. But now we were up against the best. We had trained the past 3 months for this one meet, and we were ready. I imagined beating out the Riptides by a fraction of a point, the team carrying me on their shoulders, chanting my name…
“BRIDGETTE TABITHA JONES!!!” I snapped out of my daydream to see Mrs. Clarksville glaring directly at me with fire in her eyes.
“Sorry, Mrs. Clarksville. I was just…”
“Just nothing! Get back to your test!” Right, the test! I turned back to my paper, almost all the answers filled in. Right now, I was the only one in my class with an A+ in math. The only person that came close to rivaling me was Duncan, his grade for the semester being an A-. I quickly jotted down the remaining answers, and handed my paper back to the teacher. Just then, the final bell rang. I grabbed my surf board and dashed out of the room, and came bursting out of the school doors. When I looked back, I saw Lindsay struggling to open it. I came back, and assisted the girl, adding a tip for future reference.
“It’s pull.” I resumed my dash to the local beach. 10 minutes later, I arrived only to see the Riptides pulling their wetsuits on. The team captain, a tall, muscular boy, stomped over to me, and got right up into my face.
“Listen, girly. I’ll give you 100 bucks if you forfeit right now.”
“You think you can BRIBE me into giving up the Olympics? No, sir!” The boy shrugged.
“Fine. Then we’ll just beat the pulp out of your crummy little team of girls.” The boy turned and walked away. I read the characters on the back of his wetsuit. They read: “Ezekiel Lester, #26.”
10 minutes later, once the rest of my team arrived, it was time to begin. A familiar looking referee blew his whistle, and Maura and a boy from the other team took off towards the waves. The rest of the match was a blur, the next thing I can remember is that the score was tied 4-4, and the captains of each team were up. Ezekiel and I stepped forward. The referee blew his whistle, and we sped off towards to waves. This was the all important style round; this would decide not only who won, but my entire life from then on. If I wanted all of my dreams to come true, I had to win this. As I paddled out to the nearest wave, I saw Ezekiel winking at me. What could that mean? I quickly put that thought out of my head, and caught a nearby wave. As I set up to do a Frontside Air Reverse, I nearly slipped off of my board. Zeke chuckled. Clearly he had done something to my board. Somehow managing to keep my balance, I take a lick of the slippery substance. I quickly spat it out, disgusted. “KITCHEN GREASE?!” I thought I was going to blow my top, but my inner peace managed to fight through it. Stay calm, Bridge. Just focus on surfing. I look at Zeke, only to see him pulling off a Backside Re-entry. Even I couldn’t do that! Not only was Ezekiel racking up points, I had a rigged board and no confidence! I was ready to give up, until I heard a voice…
“Bridge!” I spun around, only to see the referee calling my name. But this was no ordinary referee. He had taken off his striped hat only to reveal striking blonde hair. I couldn’t believe it.
“Bridge, if you can hear me, I just want you to know…I’m sorry for what happened.” I knew exactly what he was referencing. Just after the 2nd aftermath, I broke up with Geoff. Come to think of it, I had never been more upset in my life at that point. “I know what I did was harsh. I let fame and fortune blind me, and I lost everything after that. My friends, grade-point average, my part-time job…but most of all, you.” I nearly cried right then and there. Those were the most touching things one person had ever said to me. I was just about to leap off the wave and hug Geoff when…
“Bridgette, come on!” Jackie shouted, desperate. The Olympics didn’t matter anymore, I was gonna win this one for Geoff. The grease somehow lost it’s effect, and I pulled off a series of moves that even I thought I couldn’t do.
“Whoa…is that a Backside Air Reverse?” Maura commented.
“Oh my god, she just did a Frontside Carving 360!” Jackie said in awe.
“Wait-look at her now!” Everyone, even Ezekiel, turned to me, as I pulled off the bravest move of my career.
“Is-that can’t be, eh!” Ezekiel gawked as I pushed my back leg out. As I landed, I nearly fainted, so astounded by what I had achieved. “You-you just...”
“Did a Layback Snap? Yes.” Ezekiel stumbled, and fell off his board into the roaring ocean. Geoff blew his whistle, indicating that the Waves had won. My team shrieked out of pure joy, and Kayla squeezed Lexis so hard that she turned blue. I cheered for myself as well, until I saw Ezekiel’s unconscious body floating on the waves. After all he had done to me, he still didn’t deserve to drown. I quickly swam over, and threw him onto my shoulder. Once I got back to shore, the first thing I did is not bask in my glory. The first thing I did is performed CPR on my opponent. He started coughing up sea water, and slowly opened his eyes. The first thing he did after being saved?
“You’re really hot, eh.” I couldn’t believe it. He had rigged my board, tried to bribe me out of the Olympics, and after having his life saved, he wants to tell me I’m hot? I didn’t know what to say, but thankfully, Geoff came over and did it for me.
“Sorry, dude. Bridge is mine. Right?” Geoff looked at me with eyes full of hope. The same eyes that caused me to fall for him. One word managed to escape my lips:
“Yes.” Geoff was overjoyed. He ran right up to me, and we began to make out. Just like we did on TDA. We separated, and the Waves came over. They lifted me up on their shoulders, and Geoff joined in. Everybody, even the Riptides, were chanting my name. I pinched myself to make sure it wasn’t a dream this time. It wasn’t.
The End (And yes, this uses some non-TDI people. These are based off of people in my class to fill the void of Bridgette's surf team.)
So I decided to go to the mall with my friends when I saw the cutest pair of shoes and I'm like "I need those shoes." and my friends were like "No you don't. You already have one hundred and nineteen pairs of shoes." and I was like "I don't have those shoes." and they were like "Thats true." so now I have some more shoes.
I went to school and I saw some guy and I asked him if he was Tyler and he said "No." and walked away really fast. I wonder why he went away so fast. Then I went to science class and I found out I got a D- on the quiz and I was so happy I danced. Then my teacher told me that it was a bad grade and I was like "Really?"
Me and my friends were going to see a movie about penguins but I crashed are car so we were stuck in the highway for an hour. Then we went back to my place for smoothies but I blew up the blender. Then all my friends told me they were going to watch Shelly get her braces out so they all went away. Then I decided to make toast and I set my house on fire.
Today my Daddy gave me a driving lesson. He was really nervous and wore a bunch of pads in the car. I wonder why he did that? He didn't even take it off when I told him it wasn't in fashion. Finally I started driving and as soon as my Daddy started calming down I crashed into a tree.
Diary of a fat guy (an Owen story)
Just to tell you, this is a diary. My mommy got it for me because I liked all the pretty flowers on it. My friend Duncan says it’s idiotic but it’s just him and his business. Today me and Izzy are going out to the store after school to go shopping. She always likes the shirts with stripes and spots. I guess it’s because they’re like Jaguar and Tiger skins. Sometimes I don’t understand her at times but that’s why I love her. After sixth period today, we got let out of school for the day. Izzy and I went to the store liked we planned. I noticed I was a bit hungry at the store so we went to the food court. Then Izzy decided to have an eating contest. I was almost losing to Izzy until she got sick and threw up everywhere. It even got on Harold and Heathers shirts. Yeah, they were there. I didn’t know if they were dating or not but I guess Harold still likes LeShawna. Anyway, we got kicked out of the food court because of that incident but we didn’t care. We went into Izzy’s favorite store which I guess was called Wild Animalz. I guess the s was replaced with a z to make it cooler. Some of the stuff there gave me the creeps like a tiger hat. That almost made me pee my pants. We went home later and watch some movies Izzy rented, but it got late and I fell asleep. Izzy then left after that and I told her I’ll see her tomorrow.
At school I noticed Harold and Heather weren’t here. Duncan told me they got sick due to Izzy puking on them. I felt sorry for Harold but Heather got what she deserved. Seriously. She is very mean to all of us. In gym once, she basically got Tyler sent to the hospital by hitting him in the kiwis. Hard. Luckily he was just unstable for a while so he was okay. Lindsay was relieved. Anyway. Heather still got what she got even though she got puked on.
Heather was still not at school but Harold was back. Duncan immediately started pranking him again. We should all just be friends like Katie and Sadie and Lindsay and Beth. At lunch today I sat near DJ and Geoff. DJ had his homemade sandwiches today for lunch and I desperately needed one. I begged and begged over and over and eventually got a sandwich from him. I was still hungry for them and immediately ate all of his lunch. He was a bit upset and had to buy a lunch. It’s not a problem that he and his mom makes good sandwiches but seriously. What’s in that sandwich is tasty.
Well it’s finally Friday and right around the weekend. Izzy and I were going to see a movie she wanted to see and she told me it was good. But Duncan and Courtney were going too so we didn’t want to bother them. Seriously. When she got me booted off from Total Drama Action all because of my hunger problem, I started to hate her a little. We got to the movies after school today and noticed the film was a little bit for adults. I was nervous as it said that it had a little violence in it and I didn’t like violence that well, Izzy dragged me in any way to see the movie. It was supposed to be a love light movie but it had a bit of action moments in it. The movie is basically about this lovely couple and they team up to fight against aliens and kill them in different ways. I did not find out until now. There was a scene where the woman ripped off the aliens arm and I almost lost my lunch. But it wasn’t me who got the sick blast. It was Courtney. There was a scene where a giant alien exploded and slimy stuff went everywhere and Courtney started feeling sick. She went to barf in a popcorn bag but missed and it landed on my shirt. I started screaming after that and left the theater. I apologized to Izzy and to make a long story short, she accepted my apology. Yet I didn’t like the film much and Izzy didn’t like it much either, we still had a good time. I know stories end with happy endings but I’m out of paper and I’m hungry so I guess this is THE END!
What the heck do I do now?
I'm hideous, I'm deformed, I'm a... a... a circus freak! I thought this when klutz hit me in the head with her elbow, and now I couldn't even ride on my good looks to win the contest. What did I do to deserve this! This was worse then that time I fell into that lake full of sharks! What, what would happen if I fell in looking like this, I would've been aten alive! I've been scarred ever since that fateful day.
I tried out for another modeling job, and wasn't allowed, it's all for nothing. Maybe I should just try to join the circus. Just to think, I thought to myself early today that I could get the just looking like this! haha... I'm a sad excuse for a human being, why do I even try to be funny? Just like back on the show, I had those two wrapped around my finger, but then, then I got hit by klutz! My life was ruined by me, and I regret joining that show, to the most extent now, it ruined my life!
Okay, I thought to myself, what's next? I was making posters for the school election. I needed a catchy phrase. "A Vote for Courtney is a vote for......" Dang it, I'm stuck. If I take too long, I can't study for my SAT. GRRRRRRR. Calm yourself, Courtney. You just have to finish this poster and your done. "A vote for Courtney is a vote for Courtney." DARN IT! Wait..... I have an idea. "A vote for Courtney will make your school better." Phew, got that over with. Luckily, I got it done a week before the election meeting. Now I can study for my SAT, which is in a few months.
The Next Day
I spent all night studying for my SAT. I wake up, take a shower, eat breakfast, brush my teeth, and leave for school. At school, I met with my group of friends and got ready for class. First Period Government. Second period Triginomirty, third period history, fourth period english, fifth period biology, and sixth period gym. As usual, I got an "A" in all of my classes. All my teachers like me. After school, me friends and I go to my house to do homework. After that, we ate some snacks and watched a movie about a delinquent and a prep fall in love. Like that's ever going to happen. After that, my friends leave and I study for my SAT.
Week 8 Stories
It was all supposed to be a routine orbital flight, one of many on June 28, 2056. Head to the runway, gun the engines, deploy the flaps and ascend hypersonically into low orbit, from Toronto to Hong Kong. However, things always seem to be special to me, Heather Reid.
Ever since I was a little girl, I was always lucky. I was the one who got a chocolate bar as dessert in lunch every now and again. I was the one who had her birthday on the sunny day with record high temperatures. Of course, I had the school crowd who hated my guts with a passion. Then, one day I felt like I needed to hate them too. That worked too well, and soon I was avoided. It’s why I became a pilot. I could soar through the sky and beyond, past the planet and it’s’ inhabitants that troubled me alone. Blissfully alone. I finished the paperwork and started the flight, watching Toronto slip past me. As soon as I was over Lake Ontario, I activated the plane’s scramjets, and left Canada and the troposphere. I visually entered space over Nevada, leaving the dull desert sky behind entering the startlingly beautiful inky expanse that is outer space. I gave the “This-is-your-captain-speaking-you-can-now-move-about-the-cabin speech, and sent the flight attendants out for meal service. Then I activated the autopilot that would take us to the apogee (A.N. The highest altitude if you don’t know.)Of our flight and back to the atmosphere. I grabbed my HoloPlayer and started playing classic music videos.
A bit into our decent, I was doing what was in my mind, the best air-guitarring to the solo for “Man in the Box” ever. Then, I saw it. That huge piece of space junk. It looked like an external tank to a rocket, back before the airplane-like spacecraft of now. It grazed the right side of the space-plane, probably doing more than scraping off our paint. I heard screams and a crash from what sounded like the dishes in first class breaking. Through the cameras posted to the right of the captain’s seat, I saw the fuel tank scrape across the wing and off it, taking our flaps and airburst with it. Now if you’re a pilot, you want your flaps with you, otherwise, you can’t descend in the atmosphere. If you’re a space pilot, you want your airburst. It’s a pod at the back of the wing that sends out a burst of pressurized air to get you back into the atmosphere. So now, we were stuck in space, with no discernible way back home. I had no idea we’d even get home safely, let alone in the way, we did.
The space-plane drifted over the planet for hours, spent in silent, nail biting terror. I noticed how we were floating over what looked suspiciously like Saudi Arabia. I cursed myself for going past my destination, despite the fact it wasn’t my fault. Then, while over Morocco, my radio, fried in the impact crackled to life. At first, it seemed to be in French, then Chinese, then a language I couldn’t understand, but sounded a bit like German due to the numerous hard sounds I heard, and then English, sweet English.
“Will the distressed spacecraft please respond, and state your problem?” a radio operator asked.
“Uh, this is Captain Heather Reid; I’m operating Canadian Orbital Airlines flight 496. Our airburst is gone, we have no method of reentry. And it really isn’t a spacecraft, it can just go to low orbit. More importantly, who is this?”
“Were an envoy from the planet Tyrr, we picked up laser communication bursts from here 30…um, days as you call them ago. We want to learn about a musical group called Nirvana. ”
My mouth dropped open in shock; this was NOT supposed to happen. And I had no clue aliens would like classic rock. Maybe it was the Laser Probe project. They’d take a communications laser, much like the ones used for radios and holoviewers and filled with our music, history, and customs, and send it to a planet that apparently had a possibility of life.
“How do you know English? And umm, you’re where you’re supposed to be.”
“We know because of the internet, duh. More importantly, Captain Heather Reid, we can attach your ship and take back to your planet Earth.”
“How,” I asked, “You’re just a voice on the radio.”
“A voice coming from our ship, Captain Heather Reid,” said the radio operator calmly.
That’s when I looked up at their ship above the space-plane, and gasped. It was white, and shaped a bit like the space-plane, with wings that curved up, obscuring the back of the fuselage.
“We’re going to attach you to our ship, Captain Heather Reid.”
“Um, okay. And call me just Heather,” I replied.
“Yes Cap… Heather.”
Then, three beams of what looked like lightning shot out of the ship, one for the front, middle, and the back of the space-plane. I knew that the passengers must be freaking out so much, but the bluish lightning that attached itself to the ship and dragged it up to the alien craft entranced me. As soon as the top of the plane was against the alien ship, we descended back down over the earth over the Atlantic. After a few minutes, the stars disappeared, and the sky morphed into navy, then cobalt blue, then royal blue, then finally to the ever so familiar sky blue. We seemed to be off the coast of the U.S., as I could see a strip of thin islands that I guessed to be the Outer Banks. We overflew those islands and over a much smaller body of water, to land on a beach near a midsize city that I guessed to be Wilmington, North Carolina. We were back on Earth safe and sound, with something on top of us that would change the world. I didn’t even know what these aliens looked like, but I trusted them with my life, and I wanted to know more about them.
“Oh, come on, Duncan!” cried the a little girl, “Give it back!”
“Not until you say please, princess,” Duncan taunted.
“Duncan, stop being a dork and give the girl here PDA,” the a second girl ordered.
“Fine, Leshawna,” Duncan sighed, “Take it, princess.” Duncan tossed her the PDA.
“Come on, you guys,” Leshawna urged, “We’re going to be late for the town meeting!”
“Oh, please,” Duncan said, “I’m not going. We never get anything done, and the main reason anyone would go to one is just so they can eat the free food at the end, and it’s not even good food!”
“Just, go, Duncan!” Courtney grabbed his ear, and dragged him to the meeting.
“Alright, village,” Began a large, brown bear from the balcony of the meeting hall, “We are in the middle of a crisis, of epic proportions!”
“What is it, Chief Owen?” Leshawna asked.
“WE’RE OUT OF DONUTS!!!” Chief Owen sobbed.
Everyone gasped, “What are we going to do?” Courtney questioned.
“I hear talk about a cave that lies in the farthermost regions of the land,” Chief Owen stated, “Their lies a box of the best donuts ever!! I had assembled a squad of this land’s finest, but they all went to Vegas. So, I’ve chosen the next best group! And by that, I mean, at random! So…” Chief Owen shoved his arm into a cup of Popsicle sticks, and pulled three out, “Our lucky winners are… Courtney, Duncan and Leshawna! Yay! GO GET ME THOSE DONUTS!!!” Chief Owen demanded, and then burst into tears again.
“Why do we have to go get those dumb donuts?” Duncan asked.
“Because, Chief Owen picked us at random,” Courtney explained.
“I know! It was a rhetorical question…” Duncan muttered.
“Hey, ya’ll!” Leshawna ran over to them, “I did some research on this cave, and it turns out that the donuts are guarded by a ferocious two-headed beast!”
“Ooh, I’m so scared,” Duncan said, sarcastically.
“You should be!” Leshawna warned. And with that, the three began their quest for the box of donuts. They battled through dangerous fields of stink beetles, swam through swamps filled with seashells, and had to perform a dance for a very irritable ogre. Soon they arrived at the cave.
“Well, we made it,” Courtney said.
“Ladies first,” Duncan offered for Courtney and Leshawna to go ahead.
“Fine!” Leshawna gulped. She stepped inside, followed by Courtney, who was followed by Duncan. They heard a high-pitched screeching noise from inside, “That’s the two headed monster, ya’ll!” Leshawna was shaking. The trio rounded a corner, and there it was. The two headed monster.
“EEEEEEEEEE!!!” The first head squealed.
“EEEEEEEEEE!!!” The second head squealed. The two heads turned and found the three of them.
“Omigosh, why have you come here?” Asked the first head.
“We seek the box of donuts!” Leshawna replied.
“You want my donuts?!!” The second head screamed, “THEY’RE MY DONUTS!!!”
“Omigosh, Sadie, calm down!” The first head ordered.
“Oopsie, sorry…” Sadie sighed, “Well, you can take the donuts. They’re carbs anyway!”
“Thank you, two headed monster,” Leshawna acknowledged.
“We don’t like the term, ‘monster,’” The first head said, “We prefer, ‘beast.’”
“Er, thank you two headed beast,” Leshawna corrected.
“You’re welcome!” The two heads giggled. Leshawna, Duncan and Courtney returned to the village, and gave the box of donuts to Chief Owen, who rewarded them with small pieces of tuna fish, and a salami sandwich.
Once upon a time, in a kingdom far far away, there lived two princesses, Lindsay and Heather. Lindsay was a kind-hearyed princess, while Heather was a mean, selfish princess. Their parents, King Geoff, and Queen Katie, were so excited that in two weeks, one of their daughters would be crowned Queen!
"EEEEEEEEEE!!! I am so excited!" Queen Katie squealed.
"I know honey!" King Geoff said. "Okay, now on the coronation day, I think we shall declare it National Party Day!"
"No, it should be National Best Friend Day!" Katie retorted.
"Well, let's make it National Party with Your Best Friend Day!" Geoff suggested.
"Agreed." Katie said.
"Servant! Servant!" Geoff yelled impatiently.
"Yes, your majesty?" The servant said.
"Go fetch my daughters! I have something important to tell them!"
"Okay, your majesty!" The servant ran to get the princesses as fast as he could.
"Yes Daddy?" Princess Lindsay asked.
"As you know in two weeks, one of you will be crowned Queen."
"We all know who the next Queen is going top be!" Princess Heather said.
"And one of you will have to find a prince and marry him before you are crowned Queen." Queen Katie said.
"So, you need to find a prince, and as the tradition goes, the first to be married gets the crown!" King Geoff said.
"So you need us to find a prince and get him to marry us?" Princess Lindsay asked.
"Yes." Princess Heather said while rolling her eyes.
The two princesses went to search for a prince. They both only knew of one prince: Prince Tyler. The rwo princesses went to search for a prince. They both only knew of one prince: Prince Tyler. They both headed out of the castle, got in their carriages and set off.
"He's mine!" Princess Heather yelled.
Lindsay didn't hear her, she was too busy playing with her hair.
"Stop the carriage!" Heather yelled.
Walking down the street was Prince Tyler.
"Hello Prince Tyler!" Heather said.
"Hello Princess Heather. Have you seen your sister anywhere?" Prince Tyler asked.
"Ooh! Hi Prince Tyler!" Princess Lindsay said waving at him.
"Princess Lindsay! I have a very important question to ask you!" Prince Tyler said while Princess Lindsay was getting out of her carriage.
"Yes! " Princess Lindsay said.
"Yes!" Prince Tyler seemed overjoyed.
"Yes, these are new shoes! They're very pretty!" Princess Lindsay said.
"Er, yes!" Prince Tyler said. "Actually, I was going to ask you will you marry me?"
"NO!" Heather yelled.
"YES!" Lindsay said.
Tyler picked her up and hugged her.
Later that night...
"Come on Lindsay!" Heather said.
"Is that you Heather?" Lindsay asked.
"Yes, and we're going to the mall!"
"I'll get my shoes!" Lindsay said.
"You don't need to, there will be plenty of shoes at the mall!" Heather said.
Heather and Lindsay got into the carriage, and drove far away, passing the mall.
"Wait, Hannah, there's the mall!" "Lindsay, Lindsay, Lindsay! You're an idiot!" Heather said. "We're not going to the mall!"
"We're not?" Lindsay was confused.
"Of course not! You're not going to get married to Tyler either!" Heather laughed evilly.
"Enough with the questions!" Heather said while putting duck tape over her sister's mouth.
The next morning came and everybody realized that both of the princesses were gone! Tyler went to rescue them.
"Giddyup!" He said as his horse took off. Heather had taken Lindsay to a tower. "I see a huge tower!" Tyle said as he approached the tower.
"Lindsay! Lindsay! Where art thou Lindsay!" Tyler yelled.
"Tyler? I'm up here!" Lindsay said.
"Here, catch the rope!" Tyler through the rope and Lindsay caught it. "I'll climb up!" He started to climb, but he fell bringing Lindsay down with him.
"Are you okay?" Lindsay asked.
"Yes, my body is still numb from falling off of my horse ten times." He said.
"What!? No!" Heather said as she realized what happened.
Tyler returned with Lindsay, and they got married. Lindsay was crowned Queen, and she still loved her sister, so Heather was made Court Jester! Lindsay and Tyler lived happily ever after!
Note: This does look incomplete, I know. That's intentional. This is basically a completed story, with a full plot. There could be stuff added on, but even though there isn't, it's a full story.
“Earth to Chris Maclean, are you there? Over.”
“Chris Maclean to the horrible Earth, yes I am…oh wait, I’m supposed to say Roger, right? Roger. Over.”
“Oh, stop your smart-aleky attitude, Maclean. You are cleared for takeoff. Over.”
“Got it,” Chris Maclean said, paused, then remembered to say “Over.”
“Okay. You’re ready. Signing off. Over.” The mumbly voice on the speaker turned off. Chris Maclean wiped his brow. In about five minutes, he and a few others would be traveling to outer space to hook up with the International Space Station. Apparently a human had gotten stranded on Mars on an expedition with his spaceship out of fuel and his coworkers all dead. The space station workers had seen this and had to send the note out to the Space Rescue Station. (The Prime Minister of Canada promised he’d get the Space Rescue Station some TVs to watch over every planet, but he never could afford them.) The problem was that the Space Rescue Station was closer to the Moon then Mars, so it was a very long way for the ISS to travel in order to alarm the Space Rescue Station. What made the idea even worse was the fact that because the ISS had originally been meant to be a fixed object in space, it took about ten years to supply it with a fuel tank and even then, the ISS was still very slow. The workers for the ISS had to recruit new people to help contribute fuel into the ISS. Chris Maclean was one of them.
The voice from Earth moved on to communicate with Gwen and Noah, who were at the back of the ship. A couple more people had been recruited to go along on this exasperating journey to the ISS. Hatchet Coltenheimer was one of these people, along with Gwen Sarken and Noah Kolaski. The four of them—Chris, Hatchet, Gwen, and Noah—were all on the first ship, the one that would carry the fuel for the ISS. The second ship, which had twenty-seven people on it, would take over once the two rendezvoused. The first ship didn’t have enough fuel to make it all the way. Well, of course, they had the space station fuel, but obviously that wouldn’t cooperate with the ship.
The voice moved back to Chris, startling him. Suddenly, he remembered he had to get ready to start the rockets.
“T-minus 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3…”
Chris knew that if he was just a millinanosecond too soon or too late, the rocket would fail, and the man would be left to die.
That would be perfectly fine with Chris, but he’d get thrown in jail easily for letting the man die, if not executed first. So Chris concentrated.
Chris got ready.
Chris, sweaty now, placed his finger directly above the LAUNCH button.
Chris jabbed his finger at the button and suddenly, the rocket took off, soaring over the heads of all the people in Ship Two. “Wow!” he exclaimed.
The sky gradually got darker and darker. The others knew that space was coming, but only when they burst through the hard shell of the Earth and could see the gleaming United States did Hatchet, Gwen, and Noah all let out their breath and respond “Wow!”
Chris had to focus. There was a floating shuttle somewhere out about 16,000 miles off of Earth where the two ships would dock and Chris and the crew would get on Ship Two. Avoiding the meteors and comets flying past was a challenge difficult enough, but Chris zigzagged through the twisting course using his steering wheel as a joystick.
It wasn’t until they were about 10,000 miles away from Earth when Hatchet heard a strange knocking noise coming from one of the closed doors. “Chris, my man—“ he began.
“Oh, nonsense, John. It’s just an illusion. I have to focus now!” Chris jerked the ship back and forth.
Then, suddenly, Hatchet heard another noise. “Chris!” he shouted, trembling. “Something’s wrong! I really think you should lis—“
The door opened and a black, gorilla-like thing stood breathing near Chris, fixed to a spot. Hatchet let out an entranced, short squeak. “For the last time, John, stop picturing these illusions!” Chris slammed his fist angrily on the counter.
And then the hairy black thing leaped up on Chris, biting and scratching. “AGGGGGGGGGH!” The monster was so fierce Chris’s words came out in short hiccups. “Wh—din’t—ya—te—me—Hutch?” Then he yelped some more.
Hatchet screamed in frustration. “This is what I was—“ Suddenly, another gorilla scrambled through the door. It started the same ferocious antics on Hatchet, who yelped and screamed and cried in despair.
Then a flood of the hairy aliens climbed through the door, swarming Hatchet and Chris. Blood and saliva flowed from Hatchet’s mouth. Chris vomited.
As you could guess, a bit of commotion had caused in the back, where Gwen and Noah were. But the weasels didn’t show up in the back. Noah was quite certain they soon would find a way back there, however.
“We need to stop them!” Noah yelled between all the scraggling in the front and the roar of the engine in the back.
“But how?” Gwen howled. She was genuinely irritated with Noah. “We can’t just trap them back there!”
“Yes we can!” Noah shouted. “We’ve got our helmets. We can enclose the weasels with him!” Normally Noah would’ve come up with a craftier response, but all he could rely on right now was his instincts.
“But we’ll die!” Gwen was close to crying out of frustration and fear. “Then there’ll be no reason for trapping those things!”
“NO WE WON’T!” Noah bellowed, sweating. “And I’m going to prove it!” Panting, Noah reached for his helmet.
“ARE YOU INSANE!?” Gwen coughed twice. The weasels sure were having an effect on her health.
“NO!” Noah’s eyes began to water and he went into a mad coughing fit. Spitting and huffing, Noah reached for his helmet.
“NAH-HA-HA-HO!” Gwen reached for her seat belt to forcefully stop Noah from taking his helmet off. Noah glanced alarmingly, then radioed. “Earth, this is—“ cough, cough, gasp, “Kolaski. We’re in DANGER!”
“Can’t you just say, ‘Houston, we have a problem?’” The skeptical voice on the other end clearly did not want to be interrupted at the moment. Noah, with practically visible fire in his eyes, reached for the inside of his helmet, hyperventilating and giving a scream of “THAT…IS…IT!”
“No!” Gwen stabbed the unstrapping button on her seat belt, and the protection slowly began to uncoil. Gwen emerged from her seat and leaped just as Noah had pushed the outside of his helmet up a bit. With arms outstretched, her fingertips touched Noah’s neck, but that was all she touched as the wind knocked her back and Gwen’s body pounded against the waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa…
Gwen blinked twice, then pushed her eyes open completely. Her eyelids immediately fell back down again. Pushing her eyelids apart more forcefully this time with her numb fingers, Gwen could get a blurry but rather clear look of the fiasco that had happened while she was out cold. There was smashed glass on a cold metal floor, and a man leaned over in the chair, mouth open. Gwen decided to see what else was around and, trusting her eyelids this time, fastened her hands down on the ground and slowly crawled.
Uggh. Just the moving around brought pain to Gwen’s legs and abdomen. Feeling hopeless, Gwen collapsed to the ground, slithering the best she could to the front of the ship.
There she saw two other men—one black and one white—whose faces were unexplainably gory. They both were obviously dead. But something else caught Gwen’s eye—a reddish-brown thing.
Suddenly Gwen went out of shock, and she remembered everything. How they were going to see the ISS so they could get to the Space Rescuers, who would then save a guy stranded on Mars.
And she remembered arguing with Noah—he must’ve been the other man in the room Gwen had come from—last night. How he had thought of taken off his helmet, an action he had obviously done and got killed by. Gwen knocked near her head, expecting to feel an ache and flesh. But instead her hand hit glass.
It was the helmet, all right.
And then Gwen remembered something she had thought of when she got selected to go to the ISS, which would then go to the Space Rescuers, who would then go to Mars—“Can’t we just save him ourselves?”
And now she could do it. By herself.
Then Gwen thought of something, that made her feel a whole lot better—“I have survived. I am alive on this ship when no one else has. I am alive and well. Okay, well, maybe not too well, but okay.”
Just thinking about this made Gwen smile and her eyes pop wide open without hurting. Somehow she sat down cross-legged without hurting. She wouldn’t stand yet. Not until she felt entirely confident.
But until then, she had freeze-dried meals, a pitcher of water, and a spaceship—the bare necessities to live.
Gwen’s smile got broader. This might be déjà vu to Brian Robeson, but Gwen was perfectly fine.
And Gwen was going to prove that a reality show contestant could save the world. Well, at least a stranded astronaut.
Gwen scooted forward and stroked Hatchet Coltenheimer’s cool skin. She was on her own.
Okay, cut the repetitive narrative! Anyway, she sat crossed-legged again. She felt very confident. She could save the man.
"Boo-yah," Gwen whispered. Then she smiled happily. "I will win!"
Once upon a time, there was an evil alien who threatened the entire planet of Benohaxio. Calling himself Nastariasia, he forced all the creatures that inhabited the planet to become slaves for him, and spend all of their live working…working…working. But these creatures, called Haxiens, knew of a prophecy…a prophecy that told of the legendary one, the one who would set the Haxiens free from their accursed ruler…
Then one day, that Haxien came into the world.
But no one knew he was the chosen one. He looked like any normal Haxien on the outside. But inside beat a power that could free Benohaxio.
This Haxien’s name was Duncan.
His childhood was far from ordinary, however. At the age of 3, (In Haxien years, of course.) both his parents died from overwork. He had no other family, so Duncan was forced to rough it out in the wilderness of Benohaxio, all alone. His only companion was the wind, as the wilderness had been wiped of animals since Nastariasia arrived. Duncan had to eat anything he could get his hands on, whether it was edible or not, just to survive. He became a very strange child, dying part of his black antennae green. Duncan was a wild Haxien, unknown to even Nastariasia…until he turned 16.
Duncan was sitting alone by a small stream, as usual, until he heard a noise similar to an earth boar. “What’s that?” The Haxien questioned. Curious as ever, Duncan ventured into another part of the woods, where he thought the sound came from. He searched for a little over an hour, hacking his way through the rough Haxien forest he had grown up in. Duncan then decided to turn back, only to bump into the worst thing possible at the time. Not one of the many corpses of his people. Not a deadly rabid Nastariasia minion. Not even a poisonous worm. Of all things, it had to be Nastariasia. .The demon growled, showing it’s horribly stained teeth, razor sharp. Nastariasia’s wild golden eyes locked onto Duncan. Duncan trembled in fear, something Haxiens his age never did, unless faced with the lethal glare of the Nastariasia. Nastariasia was confused, for by now, a normal Haxien would have at least passed out by now. But as you know, Duncan was far from ordinary. He might as well have set off a time bomb, because when Nastariasia got confused, he got infuriated. His glare intensified, and Duncan’s antennae perked up. Duncan began to levitate, astounding both him and Nastariasia. Nastariasia’s glare turned into a look of surprise.
“No…he can’t be…” He’s just a kid, Nastariasia thought. He couldn’t be the chosen one…or could he? Knowing that even he was no match for the chosen one’s magic, he snarled at Duncan. “I’ll be back…” Nastariasia trudged back to the plantation. Duncan’s levitation ceased, and he was slowly lowered to the ground. Shocked, six words managed to escape Duncan's lips:
“What the heck was that about?”
1000 other questions were running through his mind. Who was that? What did he want with me? And the most important one, how the heck did I levitate? Duncan decided to explore the woods some more. He saw things react to him, such as the Nequo plants bowing down to him as if he was a king, sitting high and mighty on his royal throne. The Gebho trees waved their branches, seeming to point directly towards Duncan. Just as he was admiring the Cecliar shrubs, their dagger-like thorns becoming feeble in Duncan’s presence, a voice came from the other direction:
“What the heck are you doing out here?” He turned to see a female Haxien. She had beautiful cocoa brown antennae and an ash grey shirt with an alabaster collar. Her black eyes sparkled in the sunlight; all the plants in the area seemed to turn their attention to her. She strode towards Duncan, his eyes wide. “I said, what are you doing out here?” Duncan snapped out of his trance, only to utter the words the female least expected:
“I live here.”
“WHAT?!? That’s impossible! How did Nastariasia not find you?”
“IDK.” Duncan shrugged. “I’ve been here as long as I can remember. Wait…who’s Nastariasia?”
The female Haxien held her hand above her head. “About two times yay tall, demon-like yellow eyes…”
“I saw something in the forest like that. You mean him?”
“YES, HIM!!! Who else would I mean? So…what’d he do? You look pretty banged up…”
“I always look like this. All he did was glare at me…”
“Ha! You’re lying! No one’s ever survived Nastariasia’s demon glare!”
“Really? Well, I guess that means I’m the first!”
“Prove it, vandal!”
“How the heck am I supposed—“Duncan was cut off by a weird force. He didn’t know what is was, or where it was coming from, but it was lifting him higher, higher, higher…
“Whoa…no, he can’t be!”The female muttered. “He’s a total delinquent!” But deep inside, she knew he was special, maybe even the chosen one. She just wouldn’t admit it on the outside.
“What the—again? Is this gonna become a regular thing?” Duncan questions.
“You mean-you’ve done this before? How?”
“I don’t know! Just get me down from here!”
“How the heck am I supposed to do THAT?”
“IDK, just get me down from here!” As if responding to Duncan’s plea, the levitation ceased. He began falling, falling, falling…Duncan braced himself for the hard surface of Benohaxio, but never hit it. He opened one eye, only to see the wind carrying him down to the ground. Duncan stepped off his chariot of air, to the astonished female. She looked like she was about to faint, until she remembered something:
“Oh, CRAP! I’m supposed to be working at the rock mines right now!” She turned to walk away, until she heard the voice of the Haxien she had just met:
“Wait! What’s your name?” The girl looked back, and spoke one word to Duncan:
“Duncan.” The two stared into each other’s eyes. Time seemed to stand still as they moved in for the kiss...
“Ooh, if I catch that heir sneaking around the forest again, I swear…” Courtney’s eyes went wide.
“Double crap! Gotta go!” Courtney sprinted in the opposite direction, leaving Duncan alone in the woods.
Two weeks later, Courtney was headed back to the woods where Duncan lived. She was totally convinced that he was the chosen one, and Courtney was going to show Duncan something that would change his life. As she wandered into the thick, jungle-like wilderness, Courtney heard a rustling noise. She shrieked, and jabbed a stick in the direction of the sound. “Stay back! I’ve got a weapon!” Courtney stammered, fear obscuring most of the threat. She only calmed down once she heard a voice that could belong to no one else…
“Easy there, princess!” Courtney ceased her violent stick jabbing.
“Duncan? What are you doing?”
“Looking for you.” Duncan looked down at the weapon that was thrust at him.”I see that you’re trying to take someone’s eye out…”
“Be serious! I’m here to show you something.” Courtney took Duncan’s hand, and led him to a nearby cave. But this was no ordinary cave, this was the cave in which the prophecy was drawn…”See that?” Courtney proudly gestured to the giant cave painting. There was silence for almost 5 minutes, until Duncan uttered:
“What’s with the poorly drawn bananas?”
“DUNCAN!! They aren’t bananas! It’s an ancient prophecy! Look more closely…” Duncan squinted at the drawings, and his eyes went wide.
“Is—is that supposed to be me?”
“See! I told you they weren’t bananas!” Courtney sneered.
“I can’t believe it…they got my antennae all wrong!” Courtney facepalms. “Fine…but why me? Why am I supposed to do this?”
“Cause the cave bananas say so. YOU’RE supposed to defeat Nastariasia!” “Is that right…” A demonic voice answers. The two Haxiens spin around to find the person they least wanted to see—Nastariasia. “Then I’m not going down without a fight!” The demon’s claws were alit with flames, crackling and sizzling. He shot the inferno directly at Duncan’s head, the fire seeming to get larger every second. Almost instinctively, Duncan leaped out of the way, but crashed his head into the cave wall. “Dunky!” Courtney exclaimed. She rushed over to his side, and put her hand up against his chest. He still had a pulse, but he was out cold. Courtney gulped. How could she, of all people, defeat Nastariasia by herself?
“And now for you…” The demonic voice responded. Courtney whirled around, nearly fainting from the energy it took to shake this much. Nastariasia chucked another flame ball at Courtney. She somehow managed to dodge it, and the cycle repeated for at least 10 minutes. Courtney, beyond exhausted, finally fell to the floor. “Now you’re finished…” Courtney, unable to respond, hung her head in shame, ready to be vanquished…
“Hey, princess.” Courtney knew that voice. It was...
“Duncan! You’re okay!” Overjoyed, Courtney threw herself onto Duncan, and began to make out passionately. Nastariasia looked on in disgust.
“No! It’s—it’s too cute!” The demon exclaimed. His body began to disintegrate. “NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!” And that was the end of Nastariasia. The two Haxiens, not noticing, continued to make out, reportedly until the end of time.
(Moral of the Story: When in doubt, it’s time to make out.)
Duncan in Droopia
“Where the heck m I?” Duncan asked himself as he woke up and saw that he was in the middle of a forest.
“Your in Droopia silly!” squealed as voice.
“Show yourself!” Duncan yelled as he looked for that voice.
“Don’t be angry. Be happy!” squealed the voice again.
“That’s it!” Duncan yelled as he swung his fist randomly and hit something.
“Ouch.” the fairy said as fell to the ground.
“Your going to be in trouble.” said a fairy standing nearby.
Five minute later…
“Now where is your lawyer Mr. Duncan.” said a fairy judge.
“I am.” Duncan said.
“Blah, blah, blah.” said the judge in Duncan’s mind as he looked for a way to get out.
“Sure whatever.” Duncan said responded to a question as inched towards a window.
“Stop him!” yelled the judge as Duncan jumped out the window and ran, and ran, and ran until he crashed into something.
“Look what we found, Toto.” said Dorothy.
“Bark, bark!” Toto barked.
“It looks mad. Let’s leave it alone.” said a lion standing away from them.
“Move out of the way!” Duncan yelled as he pushed Dorothy over and ran.
“Well that was odd.” Dorothy commented as a army of fairies ran past them “That was also odd.”
“I’ll lose them in the forest.” Duncan said to himself as he ran into a tree.
“Ouch!” the tree said.
“You can talk!” Duncan said surprised.
“Yes I can and if you give me four beans I’ll give you a magical apple that makes you grow wings.” the tree said.
“Were am I supposed to find beans! The not going to fall out of the sky!” Duncan complained.
“Captain, I’m afraid the plane is falling.” said a fairy pilot.
“Then lets have a last meal.” the captain said as he opened a can of beans.
“Watch out!” the fairy pilot yelled as a box hit the beans out of the captain’s hands.
“Nooooo!” the captain yelled as the beans fell on Duncan.
“Of course beans fall out of the sky in Dorkia.” Duncan said as he handed the tree the beans.
“You mean Droopia.” the tree said as the tree handed him an apple.
“Whatever.” Duncan said as the tree ate the beans and then blew away with a trail of green smoke behind “I’m just going to ignore that.”
“We have you surrounded.” yelled an angry voice as a fairy army surrounded Duncan.
“So long suckers!” Duncan yelled as he ate the apple and rockets came out of his butt and he flew away and landed in someone’s house.
“I see you are in trouble. Give me four beans and I’ll tell you how to get home.” said the man inside the house.
“Stop with the beans!” Duncan yelled as a can of beans fell on him and the man took it.
“Close your eyes. Click your heels three times and say I wish I was home.” said the man.
“I wish I was home.” Duncan said as he clicked his heels and he opened his eyes and he was in prison “Goodbye, Droopia.”
The Three Little Teenagers Once upon a time there lived three friends named Owen, Harold, and Cody. They were all going to build their own houses from scratch. Cody was going to make his house out of hay, Harold was going to make his out of sticks while Owen made his out of petrified food. Meanwhile there lived a big bad Duncan wolf who would eat anyone who fails to face him. Owen told Cody and Harold to be careful of the big bad Duncan wolf but they did not worry about him. Cody goes into his hay house but the big bad Duncan wolf appeared and confronted his house. “Little Cody! Little Cody! Let me in!” he shouted. “Not on the hairs of Harold’s chinny chin chin!” shouted Cody. “Then I’ll huff and puff and sneeze your house down!” said the big bad Duncan wolf. He blew the hay house down with a big sneeze and Cody ran all the way to Harold’s stick house.
Harold was reading his book for nerds when Cody ran in. “What’s wrong?” he asked. “The big bad Duncan wolf blew my house down!” he said. “Well he won’t blow my house down.” said Harold. Just then the big bad Duncan wolf came to the stick house. “Little Harold! Little Harold! Let me in!” the big bad Duncan wolf shouted. “Not on the hairs on my chinny chin chin!” shouted Harold. “Then I’ll huff and I’ll puff and sneeze your house down!” shouted the big bad Duncan wolf. He used the same sneeze as before and blew the stick house down. Cody and Harold ran all the way to Owens petrified food house.
The two boys ran in and Owen sees them. “What’s wrong?” he asked. “The big bad Duncan wolf is after us.” They said. “He won’t blow this house down.” said Owen. The big bad Duncan wolf arrived at the petrified food house and knocked on the door. “Big Owen! Big Owen! Let me in!” he shouted. “Why’d you say big?” Owen asked. “Because you’re the biggest. Now let me in!” replied the big bad Duncan wolf. “Not on the hairs on Harold’s chinny chin chin.” said Owen. “Then I’ll huff and puff and sneeze your house down!” shouted the big bad Duncan wolf. He did a big sneeze but the house wouldn’t fall down. He kept doing it over and over until he ran out of breath. “I know! I’ll go down the chimney!” said the big bad Duncan wolf. He climbs the roof and goes down the chimney. “I feel like Santa Claus.” He said to himself. He then loses his footing and falls into a pot of very hot boiling water and gets cooked. “Who wants big bad wolf for dinner?” asked Owen. “We do!” said Harold and Cody. Later, while eating the remains of the big bad Duncan wolf with his head mounted on the wall, the door got knocked on. A big bossy Courtney wolf was there. “Where’s my boyfriend?” she asked. “ I think he’s over there.” replied Owen. “Thanks.” said the big bossy Courtney wolf. “Wolfs are weird.” said Owen. They continued eating and lived happily ever after.
2035 A.D. , A Total Drama Story (This is my first story, from the view point of a girl.)
I was walking the streets. I can't believe I'm turning 16, I thought. I went up to the Hover Porsche store, and whipped out my credit card. I stepped up to the front desk, I had already decided I wanted a Hover Porsche 911.
"Well, aren't you a little young for a Hover Porsche owner," said a kind of short guy with black and green hair who was manning the front disk. I giggled, he seemed familiar. I thought I met him somewhere before, back in 2009. Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you that they slowed down aging in 2010, so well I was 15 for, I think like 25 years.
"So what can I do you in for mam," asked the front desk man.
"Well, I want a Hover Porsche 911!" I exclaimed. I then asked him if I knew him from somewhere.
"Well I think I saw someone who looked like you in this TV show I was on," he said.
"What show was that?" I asked.
"Never mind, it can't be you, you would be my age now," he said as he took my credit card, and swiped it. Oh, I also forgot to tell you only a few people could afford an age slower downer shot.
"Wait, was that show Total Drama Island?" I asked.
"Well yes, yes it was," he answered. As he said this he swiped the card again, his computer started flashing red.
"I'm sorry but your credit card is over the limit," he continued.
"That can't b..." I started saying, but remebered that I went to the mall on the way here, and bought tons of fetch clothes.
"Wait, your Duncan, aren't you," I remembered. He grinned.
"I am, and you are Lindsay, but you still have an over loaded credit card, your going to have to leave," he replied, as he shoved me out the door.
"Bye Doug!" I yelled as the door closed on my face. Oh well, I thought as I walked away, theres always next month when the credit card gets restocked.
Once upon a time, there was this girl named Bridgette. Bridgette lived with her father. When she was little, her mother died. When Bridgette became a teenager, her dad met this lady, Heather, and her two daughters, Courtney and Gwen. Soon, her dad and Heather got married, but not for long. Her father died of a rare disease. When Brigdette was left alone with Heather, Courtney, and Gwen, they became very mean, forcing Bridgette to become her slave.
(In the works)
Week 9 Stories
Yes, I know I copied on this challenge idea, but remember my username
The camera opens to Sprinkle, disheveled and very out of breath.
"Hey U.S. and Canada, Sprinklemist here." He says while panting, "Sunshine should be doing this but Shadow and Duncan were spotted outside the comp- STUDIO!!! So she's gone, and most likely Chimmy.
Then a voice drowns out Sprinkle's intro, belonging to Chimmy, who is being restrained by Tdiandrockmusic2 and Anonymos,
"You can't keep me from Shadow!" Chimmy screeches.
"We can Chimmy, I can take down my dad, and he's 6'4 and a member of the U.S. military." Tdirm says in a dull monotone.
"But is he insane?!"
"Sometimes I wonder."
Chimmy is dragged away and Sprinklemist continues,
"O-kay, that was weird. Anyways last week, we got some interesting stories, involving aliens, ripoffs, shocking morals, and 90's grunge bands. What will happen this week? WEll something, cuz' Sunshine was bouncing all over telling everybody. You'll figure it out soon on TOTAL...DRAMA...AUTHOR! The camera begins to zoom out on Sprinkle, and just before he disappears from view he yells, "I FORGOT THE THREE!"
The classic TDI theme plays, with Tdirm and TBTDIF air-guitarring with Sprinkle cheering on, Cards rapidly writing pages, with Tdi trying to copy, Oweguy dancing in front of tourists, Sorrel and NIzzy hanging out, Nonny, posing for cameras with Tdifan, Dom gloating to an unimpressed Usitgz & Turnertang, Cokeman11 and Rocky fighting with giant pens, Tdafan123 ranting, and concluding with Chimmy and Sunshine staring at a picture of Duncan with heart eyes.
The camera then shows the final eight authors lounging in the lounge, waiting for the next challenge. A few converations go on, but otherwise, there are more exciting morgues.
"I can believe you kept me from Shadow," Chimmy says menacingly.
"It was for the best, you just got a restraining order," TBTDIF responds.
Sunshine then bursts into the room, knocking over a Ming vase.
"Hey Everybody!" She exclaims, "Is everybody ready for the next challenge?"
Sunshine gets a chorus of Sure, Whatevers, Sure, and Chimmy's HECK YEAH!!!
"Okay, here's your challenge. Everybody has to... FORM A BAND AND PERFORM! Yeah!"
In the confessional, Cards says, "What does this have to do with writing?"
Sunshine continues, "I want you do do this because I'm bored. That, and I heard that Tdirm plays guitar, and he hasn't been humiliated yet. Also, one more thing, Nalyd's back!" Sunshine then lowers her voice to a whisper, "He sued."
In the confessional, Tdirm dryly observes, "This is truly ironic. Nalyd hates Courtney, then he sues to get on the show, just like her."
Nalyd then enters.
"Hey people whom I really don't know but I'm sure are adoring fans, hold the applause," He says.
The eight just stare at him blankly, as Sunshine continues,
"There's one catch, we can only have two groups of eight, so one of you will have to sit out and possibly provoke votes for your elimination from our fans."
"Like who, you?" Usitgz asks.
"Uh, um... Ravioli's a fan. Oh wait, I'm getting a text from her, I'm. Not. A. Fan. You. " Sunshine pauses on the last word, "I'm pretty sure the last word's Nitwit. Start your band forming stuff that I don't care about!"
Sunshine leaves the room, and the contestants just stand there confused, except Nalyd, who has a smug smile. In the confessional he says
"I've got this in the bag, these people haven't written the second most written story on the fanfic wiki."
After five awkward minutes of silence, Anonymos breaks the silence.
"Uh, don't we have a challenge to do.?"
The nine snap to their senses and form two groups. After ten minutes of chaos, spent by Chimmy texting Duncan, and Tdirm and Nalyd fighting over Anonymos, the teams are announced. Band 1 is Chimmy on vocals, Tdirm on guitar, Nonny on bass, and TBTDIF drumming. Band 2 has Cards on guitar, Nalyd singing, Usitgz on bass, and Oweguy drumming, leaving Turnertang on the sidelines.
"Awww," he says in the confessional, "How I come I wasn't picked?"
Meanwhile the two bands are busily trying to determine a song. Unsurprisingly, everybody's going nowhere.
"I say we should do some Paramore. They're Sunshine's favorite, and I know a bunch of songs from them." Tdirm argues.
"Wait," Chimmy interjects, "Sunshine named that long Sonic story involving Shadow..." Chimmy pauses for a moment to drool, "In it Misery Business! So we should do that song!"
"You have a point Chim, but it has a little PG-13 word that descibes Heather's TDI attitude, and I don't want to be censored," Anonymos argues.
"Um, we can do That's What You Get," Chimmy argues.
Meanwhile, with Team 2, there's even less creativity going on.
"Ok, Nalyd starts, " I heard that Team 1's doing Paramore, so that's what were doing."
"But I wanted to do something like The Go-Go's or another one of those 60's groups," Oweguy protests.
"No,nnnooooooooo. The Gogo's are more irritating than the EEEE twins and Sunshine on a sugar high. That, and and and they'r efrom the 80's," Nalyd counters.
"But what if we want to do a song gung by a girl from 1961...81."
"Oh dear Oweguy, the law firm of Marris, Marris, O'Connor, and Valentino would beg to differ."
"Ok, Nalydy-Boy has officially pulled a Courtney on us," said an exsasperated Sunshine, "Don't worry, it's not as if he gets special treatment," Then, a scowling Tdirm steps into the confessional, give Sunshine a slip of paper, then leaves, "Oh look, he does get special treatment. Again, don't worry, I'm a master at annoying Nalyd. I'll have him in the wacky shack in under two weeks."
Meanwhile, Chimmy overheard the conversation between Nalyd and Oweguy, and repeated it.
"Ok boys, I think we know what we're doing," Chimmy says with an evil smile.
Nonny, TBTDIF, and Tdirm, shake their heads in approval.
Then, five hours later, the teams are called to the auditorium, and led to the stage by an enthiusiastic Sprinkle.
"This is going to be awesome, I can feel it, can't you Nalyd?" Sprinkle says. He continues, "Will Band 1, A.K.A. 'The Nalyd-Killers', please perform now."
The Nalyd-Killers predictably get on stage, but before anybody starts playing, Chimmy saus somewhat menacingly,
"This song is for a special author here who knows who he is. Or will know in about 30 seconds, SHADOW!!! Sorry, false alarm."
The Nalyd-Killers then break out into Our Lips Are Sealed, by a band you can probably guess. At first, Nalyd just stays in his seat covering his ears, but after 30 seconds, he starts running around screaming. Towards the end, he gets tired and crumples to the ground in the fetal position sucking his thumb. When the music stops, Nalyd's eyes are wide and look psychotic.
"Do ya think we did it?" Tdirm whispers to TBTDIF.
Then Nalyd throws his shoe at Tdirm, which impacts him in the forehead, knocking him back a step.
"I think yes," TBTDIF replies casually.
Nalyd then attempts to tackle Sunshine, but is then tackled by armed rent-a-cops that appear out of nowhere. An offscreen fistfight breaks out between Nalyd and the rent-a-cops.
"Okay, Nalyd's gone off the deep end, so he's eliminated. Nice work Chimmy-and-friends-whose-names-I-forget-despite-being-friends-with-them!" Sunshine exclaims. She turns to the camera and says, "Now that Nalyd is gone, will the be no more Total Drama lawsuits? Will I acually make up a writing challenge next week? Will I find a third question to ask? Find out next time in TOTAL...DRAMA...AUTHOR!"
Sprinkle adds, "THREE!!!" just in time to conclude the episode.
“Last time on Total Drama Author 3,” Began a red haired female with wings, wearing what looked like a giant piece of pasta, “Our authors were put to the test with a TDI…” She paused and stared blankly in another direction, “Sorry, I thought I saw… Duncan…” She drools a little, “A TDI fantasy story. The Writing Gophers lost, with a bottom two comprised of Ustigz and TDI. Ultimately…” She paused, and stared blankly in another direction, “Sorry, I thought I saw Shad-i-kun…” She drooled a little more, and a puddle started to form at her feet, “Ultimately, TDI was sent home. What will happen this week on Total… Drama… Author… 3?” Sunshine stared at the camera, “What? I don’t know! That’s why I was asking you!” She flew off in a huff.
The theme song began to play, which consisted mostly of Sunshine chasing Duncan and Shadow around in a big circle, followed by Chimmy.
The authors were all waiting around for Sunshine and Sprinklemist. Sunshine floats into the room, followed by Sprinklemist. Sprinklemist began to speak, “Well, thanks to a successful lawsuit, we have a new author joining the competition.”
“Put your hands together for…” Sunshine pointed towards a limo. Someone stepped out. This person had brown hair and wore a gray top. This person has a pair of pants, as many people do, and this person looked around, confused.
“This isn’t Total Drama Action!” Courtney exclaimed.
“Whoops…” Sunshine blushed, “I knew that was the wrong limo!”
“Courtney!” Chef Hatchet pulled up in another limo, “Come on, girl! The pixie brought you to the wrong place; it was an honest mistake! I’m here to take you to TDA!” Courtney turned on the ball of her foot, and strutted away, pausing only to run a finger across her throat and glare at Sunshine.
“What did I do?” Sunshine asked. Owenguy raised his hand, “NO ONE ASKED YOU!” Sunshine snapped.
“Anyway,” Sprinklemist attempted to draw the attention back to the hosts, “Here’s our real contestant. Thanks to a successful lawsuit, here’s Nalyd Renrut!”
“Renny!” Sunshine exclaimed, as she tackled Nalyd Renrut.
“Get off of me!” Nalyd attempted pushed the pixie off of his head. She refused to let go.
“Sunshine? Do we have to get the crowbar again?” Sprinklemist asked.
“I’m on it…” TBTDIF grabbed a crowbar from his back pocket. Sprinklemist takes it and attempts to pry Sunshine from the Nalyd’s head. After three short hours, Sprinklemist had pretty much given up. He slumped to the ground, exhausted.
“Let me try!” Chimmy exclaimed. Chimmy ran over to Nalyd, and popped Sunshine of in an instant, “YAY!” She exclaimed.
“My Renny!!” Sunshine tackled him again, and clung to his forehead. Chimmy and Sprinklemist sighed.
“Sunshine?” Sprinklemist tapped her on the shoulder.
“WHAT?!!” Sunshine asked.
“The challenge?” Sprinklemist stated.
“Oh, right!” Sunshine got off of his head, and into his hoodie, facing the contestants, “This weeks challenge is… TDI Origami!”
“What does that have to do with TDI?” Nonny asked.
“Not sure,” Sunshine shrugged. Turnertang rolled his eyes.
“Make your bestest TDI origami! Best origami statue wins…” Sunshine took in a deep breath, “INVINCIBILITY!!” Sunshine screamed in a low, masculine voice. A banner rolled down from above that had the word, INVINCIBILITY, written on it in crayon, “I made the banner,” Sunshine giggled, “BEGIN! You have one hour!” Everyone frantically whipped a piece of paper off of a nearby table, and began folding. Thirty minutes had gone by, and Nalyd was having trouble, mostly because Sunshine was still in his hoodie.
“You call that a fold? You make origami worse than my children! Fold faster!” Sunshine nagged Nalyd like an old Yiddish grandma.
“Bring your origami here when you’re done!” Sprinklemist stood in front of a stage; “You will present your origami to the rest of the authors when you are done.”
TBTDIF was the first to be finished. He sat on the edge of stage, tapping his fingers on the wood paneling, impatiently waiting for the others to be finished. Then Turnertang, then Ustigz, then Owenguy.
“It’s really hard to make a mohawk out of paper,” Chimmy observed.
“Shh! Don’t talk! Working!” Nonny exclaimed.
“Fine…” Chimmy walked up to the stage, and rested her back against it. Nalyd, Nonny, and Tdirm were the next to be done.
“Cards, you have two minutes left,” Sprinklemist informed. Cards was struggling with his origami, as many could tell. His brain was telling his fingers what to do, but his fingers clearly weren’t listening.
“TIME!” Sunshine shouted from Nalyd’s hoodie.
“Could you scream any louder?” Nalyd flinched, grabbing his ear.
“Yes,” Sunshine said, and then she proceeded to make an ear-piercing scream, that shattered all of the windows.
“Sorry I asked…” Nalyd muttered. The authors all presented their work, one by one. Cards was the next to present.
“This is… uh… Owen?” Cards took a large wad of paper out of his pocket.
“Uh-hu… Nalyd, you’re up next,” Sprinklemist jotted down some notes.
“This is Harold,” Nalyd presented a carefully folded, colorful piece of paper that was the spitting image of Harold.
“Impressive!” Sprinklemist exclaimed. Nalyd bowed. Suddenly, Sunshine reared her head back and sneezed. She sneezed all over Nalyd’s entry, turning it into a mushy, lumpy mess, “I’m sorry Nalyd. I’m going to have to subtract points. Heck, that’s worse than Cards’.” Nalyd glared at Sunshine, who proceeded to hide in the deepest parts of Nalyd’s hoodie.
“My bad…” Came a meek voice from inside Nalyd’s hoodie, “I’m allergic to pale skin.” Nalyd groaned.
“Well, we’ve seen you’re entries. Sunshine and I will have a chat, and we will pick your winner, and you will pick your bottom two,” Sprinklemist said.
“And the winner will receive… INVINCIBILITY!!” Sunshine screeched. Nalyd flinched and grabbed his ears again. Sunshine flew out of his hoodie and followed Sprinklemist into a back room.
An hour later, the two hosts came back, “Sunshine and I have made out decision,” Sprinklemist said, “The winner is… Chimmy! Your origami Duncan was wonderful!” Chimmy jumped up and down with joy.
“You win… INVINCIBILITY!!” Sunshine screamed.
“Cast your votes,” Sprinklemist said, “And soon we will have our bottom two.” Everyone took out a small voting device, where the names of all of the authors were programmed in. Everyone simultaneously pushed a button, “The votes are in,” Sprinklemist said, “And the Gold Pencils go to… Chimmy, Ustigz and Owenguy,” Sprinklemist tossed them their pencils. Ustigz and Chimmy caught theirs, but Owenguy was watching a bird, and the pencil landed on his head, “Turnertang and Anonymos,” They caught theirs, “Four recipients left,” Tdirm, Cards, and TBTDIF looked nervous, but Nalyd was busy trying to get Sunshine out of his hoodie, “The next Gold Pencil is for… Tdirm,” Tdirm gleefully caught his pencil, “The person not in our bottom two is… TBTDIF,” TBTDIF caught his, “Nalyd and Cards, you are the bottom two.”
“Ooh! I wanna pick who gets out!” Sunshine flew out of Nalyd’s hoodie, smacking him in the face with her wing as she did so. She landed next to Sprinklemist and grabbed the last pencil out of his hands, “The final pencil is for… RENNY!!!” She chucked the pencil at Nalyd’s forehead, who fell over backwards.
“Why me?” Cards asked, “You said mine was better than his!”
“I’m not letting my Renny go home!” Sunshine tackled him again. TBTDIF grabbed the crowbar from his pocket.
“Cards, it’s time to go,” Sprinklemist escorted him away from the competition and to the Playa Des Authors.
“What’s gonna happen next time on Total Drama Author Three?!” Sunshine exclaimed from Nalyd’s hoodie.
Author's Note: This Author fully appreciates Cards777's writing, and he was sent home in the story purely for entertainment purposes.
“Last time on Total Drama Author 3, the challenge was to write a fantasy story. The Typing Bass won, and the Writing Gophers had to send someone home. The bottom two were: Usitgz and Tdi. In the end, Tdi was sent home because of his incomplete story. Who will be sent packing tonight on TOTAL DRAMA AUTHOR 3?” Sunshine said.
“Wow, I thought I might have been eliminated.” Usitgz said.
“I wonder when the merge is. I can’t wait to be a Best-Seller!” Cards777 said.
“Probably soon.” Anonymous told him.
The team headed back to their trailers and went to sleep. The next morning, the authors were awakened by a loud noise.
“What is that noise?” TBTDIF asked.
“It sounds like a jet engine.” Tdirm said.
“WAKE UP!!!” Sunshine screamed.
The authors came out of their trailers and were told, “Someone is returning!” Sprinklemist walked up and said.
“Who?” asked Turnertang.
“This is your first part of your challenge, guess who’s returning!” Sunshine announced.
“Cokeman11?” Owenguy asked.
“Tdi?” Turnertang asked.
“Tdafan?” Cards asked.
“Tdifan?” Nonny asked.
“Wrong, wrong, wrong, and wrong!” Sprinkle said.
“Who could it be?” Chimmy asked.
“Do you give up?” Sunshine asked.
“Yes.” Everybody replied.
“It’s no other than… Nalyd Renrut!” Sprinkle said
The jet that was making so much noise landed, and out jumped Nalyd.
“He joined because, well, I don’t really know why!” Sunshine admitted.
“I joined because I missed Total Drama Author so much, but I couldn’t host, so I said what the hey! I’ll be a competitor! And a successful lawsuit might have helped!” Nalyd explained.
“It’s not fair that he’s back!” Cards said in the confessional.
“He knows he is an excellent author!” Usitgz said in the confessional.
“EEEEEE!!! He’s back! It’s really Nalyd! EEEEEEEEEEEE!” Chimmy said in the confessional.
“Are you ready for a twist?” Sunshine asked.
“Yes!” Everybody responded.
“Wait! There’s something really important you need to tell them first.” Sprinklemist said.
“Oh yeah! I forgot! Welcome to the merge! You are now the Best-Sellers!” Sunshine said.
“EEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!” Cards and Chimmy said in unison.
They then started dancing and spinning in circles until they run into each other.
“Ow!” They both said.
“Well, now with the twist! Vote somebody out now! And you can’t vote for Nalyd!”
Sunshine and Sprinkle handed out the voting devices, everybody voted and, “Time for the results! The first pencil goes to Chimmy. Then, Nonny, and Usitgz!”
“Yes!” They all exclaimed.
“Now, TBTDIF, and Nalyd!”
They received their pencils.
“Tdirm, and Cards!”
They were tossed their pencils, but Cards dropped his, and it hit Chimmy in the head.
“OW!” Chimmy said rubbing her head.
“Sorry!” Cards said.
“The last pencil goes to Owenguy!” Sunshine said giving him his pencil.
“Me! Why me?” Turnertang was confused.
“Sorry Turnertang, but you are a threat.” Owenguy explained.
Everybody else nodded.
“Okay. Well, bye everybody!” Turnertang said as entering the Limo of Losers.
“Now, for your challenge! You will be given a partner and you will have to write a super short song about Nalyd! Your song has to be written to a tune from another song! Here are the partners: Cards and Chimmy, Nonny and Tdirm, TBTDIF and Usitgz, and Nalyd and Owenguy!” Sunshine said.
The partners met up and wrote their songs. TBTDIF and Usitgz’s was to the tune of Magic.
“Oh, Oh, Nalyd’s magic! You know! He’s so awesome!”
Cards and Chimms’ song was to the tune of Goofy Goobers.
“Nalyd’s a goofy goober yeah! He hates Courtney yeah! Nalyd Renrut! Nalyd Renrut! Nalyd Renrut! Yeah!”
Nonny and Tdirm’s song was to the tune of Mamma Mia!
“Nalyd Renrut! He’s so cool!! My my he’s so awesome! Nalyd Renrut!”
Nalyd and Owenguys’ song was to the tune of We are the Champions!
“Nalyd is a champion, to his friends! In TDA3, he can make it to the end!”
“Okay! You wait here and Sprinkle and I will choose which team gets invincibility!”
30 minutes later…
Sunshine came out and said, “The winning team is the team of Cards and Chimmy!”
“EEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! They both squealed.
“Also,” Sprinkle said, “the team of Nonny and Tdirm! We couldn’t decide between the two teams so we decided to let both teams have invincibility!”
Anonymous and Tdirm jumped up and down excited that they had just won.
“Nalyd,” Owenguy started, “you hate Courtney right?”
“You did the same thing she did to get into Total Drama Action!”
“NO!!!!!” Nalyd freaked out!”
“Everyone cast their votes!” Sprinkle said, “I don’t know where Sunshine is so I’m doing the elimination ceremony!”
The camera shows Sunshine hugging the Duncan statue in Nalyd’s office.
Everybody had cast their votes, “The pencils go to, Cards, Chimmy, Nonny, and Tdirm!”
They all caught their pencils.
“I didn’t drop mine this time!” Cards said very excited.
“And I didn’t get hurt!” Chimmy said even more excited than Cards.
Cards then dropped his pencil and it hit Chimmy in the head.
“Sorry!” Cards said.
“The next pencils go to TBTDIF and Usitgz.”
“Yes!” They both exclaimed.
“’The last pencil goes to Owenguy!” Sprinklemist said giving Owenguy his pencil.
“What!? You voted me off!” Nalyd said.
“Well, you did come back and all.” Nonny explained.
Nalyd boarded the Limo of Losers and left.
“That wraps up this weeks dramatic episode! See you next time on Total Drama Author 3!” Sprinklemist said ending the episode.
Author's Note: To all of the people who were eliminated in my story, I love your writing, just to make that clear. I chose the people who were eliminated by pulling names out of a hat.
A tall man stands in an empty high school hallway. “Hey! I’m Gary. Welcome back to Total Drama Author 3!” The man grins. “Last time, we saw a bit of misunderstanding. We had—“ Gary shows up pictures of every author “—A sci-fi story with aliens searching for Nirvana.” He drops down Tdiandrockmusic2’s picture. “A rip-off of The Three Little Pigs.” Gary drops down Oweguy’s picture. “A dramatic science fiction story featuring Duncan and Courtney.” Gary pulls out Chimchar’s picture. “And much more. In the end, though, two stories were deemed the worst.” Gary removes Tdi and Usitgz’s picture and holds both out to the camera. “In the end, though, it was Tdi’s partially complete Cinderella parody that led to his elimination. Now, eight players remain. Who will come up with the most clever story? Who will make several grammar mistakes? Who will be the next to get stuffed in one of these horrid lockers due to their elimination?” Gary pauses and says the next rhetorical question quickly and softly. “HowlongwillittakeforsomeonetorealizethatSunshine’sactuallyhostandI’mnotsupposedtobehere?” Going back to his normal voice, Gary concludes, “Find out next time on TOTAL…DRAMA…AUTHOR!” Suddenly, a rather beat up 14-year-old enters the room. On his shirt is a badge that says “I WON!” After whispering to Gary, Gary awkwardly adds, “…THREE!”
A determined cheer of winning a writing competition set to a slow and pretty acoustic ballad serves as the show’s main theme song. One by one, the sixteen contestants RockSK8R, Tdafan123, Tdifan1234, NinjaIzzy, Dominator, Sorreltail18, COKEMAN11, Tdi, Tdiandrockmusic2, Anonymos, Cards777, Thebiggesttdifan, Chimchar, Turnertang, Oweguy, and Usitgz perform on-screen, doing erotic dance moves until they finally form a pyramid, shout “TDA” and collaborate in writing the words “TOTAL DRAMA AUTHOR.”
The show returns with Gary pressed to the ground, held hostage by what looks like a pixie. “Don’t ever do that to me again,” she threatens menacingly. Gary’s teeth begin to chatter.
The pixie looks at the camera. “Hey, why don’t we check out a less violent scene?” On cue, the camera moves to eight sweating bodies sprawled out in every direction and pose.
“Wow. I can’t believe Tdi got eliminated,” grunts Thebiggesttdifan. “I thought for sure Usitgz was going home.”
“I’m going to take that offensively, TBTDIF,” snaps Usitgz. “Tdafan will really beat the crap out of you if you go. Watch your mouth and you’ll get saved a bullying.”
“I remember how he was back in Season Two,” chuckles Anonymous. “Always complaining, blaming TDI19…”
“And then even Nalyd snapped at him,” Turnertang chimes in.
“Hey, whatever happened to Nalyd, anyway?” Oweguy asks. “Haven’t you guys ever thought about why he didn’t continue his hosting?”
Slowly, the seven other faces turn to Owe. After a bizarre thirteen minute and forty-seven second silence, Turnertang shrugs and shakes his head.
“Somethin’ about the apocalypse…” Chimmy responds. Suddenly she bolts up and starts running in circles. “OH MY GOSH THE APOCALYPSE IS GOING TO HAPPEN AFTER SEASON THREE IS OVER!”
“Aw, c’mon.” Usitgz laughs at the strange behavior of Chimmy. “You wouldn’t actually BELIEVE in that, would you?”
“Um…Usitgz, I think she already does,” Cards777 mutters. “AND I BELIEVE IT TOO! AAAAAAAAAAAH!”
“Enough of that!” barks a voice. “The apocalypse is chillin’. He won’t be back until February. Anyway, it’s time to start your challenge! Head on over to the math room and I’ll show you.” Grudgingly, the eight teenage bodies get up and stroll on over to the pixie, Sunshine. The writers pass Gary, who says in a muffled voice, “Elf! Elf ee!”
“All right! Here we are in the math room! Today you’ll have to write a story about any of the TDI characters forming…A BAND! You know, a list of their gigs, their albums, singles, success, the origin of the band…” Sunshine crumples up a piece of paper in her hand and throws it at a trophy that says “TDI19-WINNER OF TOTAL DRAMA AUTHOR.” The trophy falls and smashes to the ground in little pieces. “Oops, sorry TDI19!” Sunshine laughs hysterically. “Oh yeah, no more teams. Say, did you see the new episode of TDA last night, anyone?” The eight teens shrug and get on over to the English room.
In the confessional, Tdiandrockmusic2 said, “I’m a big fan of stuff like grunge…you know, Nirvana-types…um…is there a selected time I have to stay in here? No? Okay then.” TDIRM2 shrugs and walks out.
Oweguy sits on a table, meditating. “Dude, stay like that and you’ll break the table,” TBTDIF teases.
“I’m just looking for my muse,” Oweguy casually replies.
“Oh. Okay then,” TBTDIF says. He scratches the back of his neck and sits down at his table, starting to furiously scratch on his paper.
“I decided to do a little duo called Nonimas & Turner,” Turnertang reveals in the confessional. “Six albums, twenty-six singles, you know, a band still in its early age. The origin…well, they’re brothers. And that’s all I’ll say about that.”
Chimmy’s eyes glimmer in the confessional. “POP PUNK! Or whatever style that band is…”
Two hundred seventy-one feet above the contestants, Sunshine raises a tuba and squeals a loud note. Then, using a giant megaphone, she yells, “ALL RIGHT! NOW IT’S TIME FOR PART TWO!” Sunshine drops the tuba down below.
Gary appears, scratched and bruised. “Phew, I finally got free!” he says, relieved. Just then, the tuba falls down through the ceiling and crushes the co-host. “But I…don’t…believe…in karma…” he says painfully.
Ignoring Gary, Cards777 asks, “Wait, that wasn’t the entire challenge?”
“HECK NO!” Sunshine screams. “YOUR SECOND PART IS TO ACTUALLY PLAY SIX OF YOUR BAND’S SONGS IN A CONCERT!”
A million complaints shatter above.
“But my band has four people!” says Usitgz.
“My band only plays cover songs!” yells Chimmy.
“Mine only has a debut album right now! I can’t pick a painful song from that!” TBTDIF complains.
“It took me hours to find my muse and now I’ve run out!” Oweguy puts his head in his hands.
“We’re a duo!” Turnertang screams. “I mean, um…it’s a duo.”
“Oooow…can’t you cut ‘em some slack, Sunshine?” Gary grits his teeth.
“WHO CARES, SO WHAT, GET OVER IT, SHUT UP, FIND A PARTNER, AND NO!”
“Agggghhhh…too bad I’m not playing anymore,” Gary says sarcastically.
“Anyway,” Sunshine says in a “normal” voice, “you can work with the various instruments that we’ve supplied over there. But let’s find out who your audience is!”
Trumpets begin to play as RockSK8R walks up to the stage, followed by Tdafan, Tdifan, NIzzy, Dominator, Sorreltail, COKEMAN11, and Tdi. They all glance disapprovingly.
“Wow, this place really sucks,” Rocky comments.
Sunshine jumps 271 feet down onto a trampoline, which she jumps onto and lands perfectly. “Guys, you can file your way into the seats over there. As for YOU, competitors, you’ve got backstage passes to set up a band, so GET MOVING!” Fearfully, the eight band members run back into the curtain. “Sprink,” she says, looking at Gary, “you owe me twenty-seven.”
The eight contestants open up cases everywhere. Cards777 inspects a bass guitar while Turnertang picks out a hand drum. Owe grabs a saxophone and Chimmy goes around, asking various people if they want to join her band. Only Tdiandrockmusic2 accepts.
“I had no other choice,” TDIRM shrugs in the confessional. “The girl was gonna pulverize me if I didn’t join her cover band.”
“Hey, Anonymos, wanna be in my duo?” Turnertang asks timidly.
“Sure, I guess. We are, um…oh, um…er…ah…nevermind.” Anonymos grabs an acoustic guitar case, but instead of a guitar in there, there’s a figure! As the two gasp, everyone else comes over to look at the human.
“It can’t be,” Usitgz gasps. He looks at the figure. It could only have been…
“Redflare?” TBTDIF asks.
“No, you idiots!” The figure spits a washcloth out of his mouth. “It’s me, Nalyd Renrut!” Everyone stares at him. “The host? Of the past seasons?” Everyone stares in silence. Then Turnertang opens his mouth.
“My little buddy the apocalypse said you weren’t coming back this season.”
“Well, uh, you know…” Nalyd laughs nervously.
Sunshine suddenly gets through the curtain. “Eh, Turner, the A might say that a guy is gone, but that won’t stop him from suing the show to let him back on. I wish it could, but no, it can’t.” She pauses. “Anyway, it’s time to start the concert!” Everyone groans. Anonymos picks up a real acoustic guitar, and Sunshine goes out on the stage to announce the first band, now decked out with lighting and a full audience, with the eight eliminated contestants serving as judges. She goes out onstage, and the contestants can clearly hear her say to the audience, “AND NOW…OUR FIRST ARTIST IN THE RICKY490 TRIBUTE CONCERT…OWESTER PASTI!” The crowd applauds. Oweguy, with a confused look on his face, walks out onto the stage with his saxophone.
Owe says in the confessional, “I walked onto this stage in front of a crowd obviously expecting some hard-core rock, and there I was, dressed in a Hawaiian shirt with a saxophone. I was in the wrong boat for sure.”
Owe grabs the microphone. “Um…okay…this is a song I wrote called ‘The Jazz Man.’” The crowd boos. “What? Okay, fine, I’ll just go into the song.”
Not long after, Owe is booed off the stage, tangerines and tomatoes still aiming for his fat body. His head sinking down, Owe heads backstage with a sigh. Sunshine stares after him, then says, “Okay. Our next group is a stereotypical rock band, made up of Usitgz, Cards777, and Thebiggesttdifan! So put your hands together for…STEREOTYPICAL ROCK BAND!” The crowd roars.
The rock trio begins their opening song with silence, then a drumbeat by Cards777, then a bass line added by TBTDIF, and finally Usitgz and his guitar join in the song. Pretty soon, the three successfully complete their part of the memorial concert to Ricky490. Next up is Nonimous and Turner, who do a fine job until Turnertang’s glass hand drum smashes to pieces. Reluctantly, the two cancel their performance, leaving Chimchar and TDIRM. Chimchar had managed to write a few songs before the show had started, and the four are so good, they are asked for an encore. When Chimchar refuses and walks off the stage, TDIRM simply picks up the guitar he had used and plays a sad acoustic ballad. This throws the fans and judges off a little, but they still roar and roar and roar after the show.
“Okay!” Sunshine announces after the show is over and Nalyd has been released from the guitar case. “Everyone head on over to the hallway of the high school, where the judges will decide the bottom two.”
In a short period of time, the teens are there, including Nalyd who drags an unconscious Gary over there too. “All right,” Sunshine says. “I’ll turn it over to our judges.”
RockSk8r says, “Let’s start out with Chimchar and TDIRM. I really loved your performance, guys, especially TDIRM’s beautiful ballad as an encore. 10/10.”
Tdafan admits, “The ballad had me in tears. 10/10.”
Tdifan says, “To be honest, I liked the hard core ACTION of Chimchar a whole lot better than I liked the crumminess and beautifulness of TDIRM. 7/10.”
NIzzy says, “Mutualness with Tdifan! 8/10.”
Dominator mutters, “I didn’t like it all that much. I tend to like country or classic rock more than what you did.”
TDIRM says, “Well, I did want to do grunge originally…”
“Shut up,” Dominator replies. “3/10.”
Sorrie stands in silence and then suddenly says, “OHMYGODTHATWASAWESOMEILOVEDHOWYOUWERESOINSANECHIMMYOHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD!” Sorrel’s eye twitches, and then she faints. Sorrel then holds up both hands to show she means 10/10.
“Eh, it was whatev,” Cokeman says coolly. “Not good, not bad, just whatev. 6/10.”
“I liked it a lot,” Tdi says. “I seriously think it was pretty good. 9/10.”
“All right!” Sunshine says. “TDIRM, Chimchar, you can go to your respective lockers. There’s a prize in there for you! Oh, yeah, you don’t have to come back here when you’re done.”
“Anonymos, Turnertang, your duo was pretty cool,” RockSk8R says. “But then your drums smashed, and that brought your rating down a lot. 4/10.”
“Oweguy, your performance was horrible! 0/10,” the judges chorus, except for Sorrel. Owe looks heartbroken.
“C, U, T, your performance was pretty good!” Cokeman explains. “However, I don’t think you put enough strength into something for a rock trio.
“Hey, it was our first try,” Usitgz says defensively.
“I’d go with 4/10,” Cokeman says.
“Okay, the score is tied, and in my opinion, Anonymos and Turnertang are better, so they and the judges can all leave and go back to where they came from,” Sunshine says in one long sentence.
Nalyd speaks up. “Now for the final four. You all were relatively disappointing, but there’s only one who really shouldn’t belong here. That one is Usitgz, I think. You can leave and go to your locker, Usitgz,” he adds. Usitgz gets up and leaves, grinning.
“Now for you three…out of all of you, I’d say that none of you did much right that was very exciting. But one of you never missed a beat, even though your beats were totally boring. That person is…
TBTDIF gets up and says “See one of you tomorrow,” to the remaining two. Pretty soon Sunshine leaves, departing with Gary. That leaves Nalyd, Cards, and Owe.
“Okay, guys,” Nalyd says. “You both were honestly pitiful. But one of you deserves a second chance, I think. I’m hoping this will be a good decision, but Owe, you will…
Cards’ eyebrows shoot up as Oweguy runs happily. “Well, you know what happens to losers, kid,” Nalyd chuckles to Cards. “Walk me to your locker.” Pretty soon, Nalyd traps Cards into his locker, and returns back to the hallway. “Well, that ends another episode. Find out what happens next on TOTAL…DRAMA…AUTHOR!” The fourteen-year-old enters again. Nalyd rolls his eyes and says unexcitedly, “Three.”
Disclaimer: Sorry, Cards, that it was you who was eliminated. Nothing against you. I think that your writing is really pretty good, and it was just the results of this fictuous episode that made you be eliminated. Sorry again.
“Ahh…Canada…It sucks! The incredibly thick wilderness, the bad plumbing, and the horrible--” Suddenly, the less than enthusiastic cameraman is cut off by an incredibly high pitched voice:
“Hey, bucko! This is my show!” A figure, small in stature but big in the obsession department, tackles the camera guy.
“Wait! No—not the Courtney doll! Noooo!!!” The camera falls to the ground, and several outbursts are heard. Finally, the struggle between the two ceases, and the previously unknown figure picks up the camera, revealing themselves to be everyone’s favorite ravioli pixie!
“Hiya, I’m Sunshine! So…last time on TDA3, the teams faced the toughest challenge yet: writing about TDI…” Dramatic sound effects are played. “AS BABIES!! The Typing Bass turned in some uber-pwning stories, and they won! The Writing Gopjers couldn’t agree on who to eliminate, and a huge fist fight occurred! Ah…good times…” Sunshine reminisces for a second, but regains whatever composure she has. “But in the end, it was Cokeman who did not receive a Gilded Pencil, had to take the Walk of Ravioli, and board the Awesomesauce Rocket of Bad Grammar.” Sunshine presses her face up to the camera, making it impossible to see anything else. “Who will be kicked off this time, on TOTAL! DRAMA! AUTHOR! THHHHRRRRREEEEE!!!!!” The camera fades to black, just as Sunshine starts doing the Duncan.
After an incredibly badly written theme song plays, mainly consisting of Sunshine playing hide-and-seek with her Duncan doll, the 8 remaining contestants are shown eating a gourmet breakfast. The chef, a young man orange hair and yellow eyes and mohawk, smiles triumphantly at his work. As the final 8 wolf down their meals, the camera cuts to a series of confessionals.
“Fi—final EIGHT!” A girl with dirty blonde hair, Chimmy, exclaims in the confessional. “I can’t believe I made it this far! I’d have never thought that I, of all people, would be able to go up against these amazing people, and STILL make it this far!”
“WOO-HOO!!! FINAL EIGHT!!” A plump boy with deep brown hair, Oweguy, shouts in the confessional. “I’ve got this game in the bag!”
“OMG FINAL EIGHT!!” Another boy, Cards, screeches in the confessional, and nearly passes out due to excitement. “I can’t believe it!”
As the contestants finish their ravioli, a figure poofs into the room. “Hey, peoples!”
“Um…how did you get here?” An uninterested boy, TBTDIF, demands.
“CAUSE I’M MAGIC!!!”Sunshine begins to foam at the mouth, and her left eye twitches. TBTDIF shrugs, and goes back to his breakfast. “Anyways…welcome, peoples! Or should I say…” The mohawked chef begins to drumroll with a pair of chopsticks. “THE BEST-SELLERS! WELCOME TO THE MERGE!!!” Everybody gasps. “That’s right, the team thingies are dissolved! And…NOW FOR THE CHALLENGE! Sprink, take it away!” Sunshine gestures to a guy with brown hair and turquoise eyes, who proceeds to look at his clipboard.
“All right.” Sprinklemist says in a calming voice. “In today’s challenge, your gonna have to work for your supplies! Here’s a GPS to help you along.” He tosses a Global Positioning System to each of the contestants. Turnertang nearly drops his. “Hey, be careful! Those things cost like 500 bucks each! Now…once you’ve got the supplies, you need to write a story about your least favorite TDI character! It can be about anything, just as long as it includes the character. Now go!” The contestants dash off, unaware that each of the GPS’s led to a different area….
“I wonder why no one else is headed this way…” Nonny ponders. He shrugs, then resumes running. “Oh well, maybe I’ll be the one to get there first!” The camera cuts to Usitgz, who’s GPS in beeping like crazy.
“Wow, I must be really close! It’ll be a matter of time before I make it to the—“Just then, the boy slams into a brick wall. “Ug…” Usitgz mutters. He suddenly recovers, and looks at the offending structure. “What the…crap!” The brick wall had been sprayed with graffiti, and the letters read: ‘You got the wrong GPS!’ Before he can recover from the shock, he is bagged, and stuffed into a bowling ball bag. “Hey-wait!” Usitgz sniffs, and immediately recoils. “P.U!! When has this thing been washed?” Crushcrushcrush by Paramore starts to play, and a montage begins. Almost everybody is shown suffering the same fate as Usitgz. A notable scene is Tdirm smashing into the brick wall, and moments later being smashed on by TBTDIF. Another happens to be Anonymos slipping on a banana peel, which proceeds to cause him to ice skate directly into the bricks. The montage ends, and the camera cuts to Chimmy, who is still following her GPS.
“Man…how long is it going to be before I get to those supplies?” Chimmy’s big brown eyes start sparkling, and she loses all control. “Shadow…you’re hot…” She is broken out of her trance courtesy of a large desk thingy in her path. “Ouchies! That hurt!” Chimmy looks around, and her eyes widen. “The supplies! I did it!” Suddenly, a figure in a gray hoodie and psycho killer mask steps in front of her. “Um…mister psycho killer guy who looks extremely similar to Nalyd? Can you please move? I need to get those supplies…” The hoodied killer proceeds to remove his mask, revealing himself to be none other than Nalyd Renrut. Chimmy’s eyes bulge out of their sockets, and she nearly passes out.
“Um…who the heck are you?" Nalyd asks.
“OMGZ HE TALKED TO ME! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” The screech rips open all bowling ball bags in the area, causing all the contestants to tumble out beside Nalyd.
“Phew…thanks! I never thought I’d get out of there!” Oweguy comments. There is a chorus of thank goodnesses, until they spot Nalyd. The chorus of thanks turns into one of gasps, le gasps, and one gaspeth.
“What’s Nalyd doing here?” Nonny questions. As if answering his question, Sunshine suddenly poofs into the area.
“Chimmy wins the first challenge, and the supplies! She may...” Sunshine chuckles. “I-I’m sorry, it’s just that Sprink told me a great joke…” Suddenly, the ravioli pixie bursts into laugher. She falls to the ground, and pounds it with her fist repeatedly.
“Get on with it, Sunshine!” Sunshine ceases her giggle fit, stands up, and dusts herself off.
“Sorry, Nalyd…anyways, Chimmy can choose whether to share her supplies or not. Oh, and…Nalyd is back!” Sunshine’s voice turns quiet. “I still can’t believe he sued… I mean, come on, how was I supposed to know that was him? The camera he was holding was blocking out his entire face!” Even more gaspeths arise from the contestants.
“I can’t believe I got to meet Nalyd!” Chimmy says in the confessional. “He’s my childhood idol! Well, not really…BUT WHO CARES! IT’S THE RENRUT!!”
“What? Nalyd is back? That’s not fair!” Tdirm protests in the confessional. “We all had to work to get in, and suddenly Mister Gray Hoodie shows up and is suddenly in? As if any of us stand a chance against him!” Tdirm headdesks. “This bites…”
The camera cuts back to Chimmy, who seems to be wondering about the decision she has to make. “Hmm…why not, you can have some! Besides, it would be no fun without some competition!” Most of the room bursts into applause, except for TBTDIF. He just mutters:
The scene opens up to show Sprinklemist facing the contestants. “All right, you know the challenge…but just in case you forgot, you have to write a story with the main character being your least favorite TDI character. Now, since Chimmy was nice enough to loan supplies, you won’t have to scour the studio for them…so get to work!” Chimmy tosses some of the supplies in the air, and the rest of the contestants scramble like mad dogs to get them. A censor bar pops in front of the camera, and a voice sounding extremely similar to TDI19 speaks:
“The following scene has been deemed too inappropriate for our younger viewers, and has been removed. In the meantime, please enjoy this techno rendition of the theme song!” Just as the horrible noise of the remixed theme song starts to play, the torture is relieved, and the censor stops. Everybody is shown, incredibly beaten up, writing vigorously as ever.
“Who am I writing about?” Nonny ponders in the confessional. “None other than Trent.”
“Who else would I be writing about?” Nalyd comments in the confessional. “Courtney.”
“Harold.” Cards declares in the confessional.
“Harold, anybody else would be a lie.” Chimmy states in the confessional.
As the contestants are finishing up their stories, Sunshine comes in with a bullhorn, and shouts: “HEY PEOPLES!!! SPRINK SAID WE HAD TO ADD SOME DRAMA, SO…5 MINUTES TO FINISH THE STORY!” The ravioli pixie suddenly poofs away from the scene, fearing the wrath of Nalyd. Everybody looks up, quickly gives a competitive glare, and writes as fast as they can.
“Seriously? 5 MINUTES?!” Cards says in the confessional. “I can barely finish with the normal time they give us!”
“No problem!” Chimmy exclaims in the confessional. “I always finish early anyways!”
“Pft.” Tdirm says in the confessional. “I don’t care…”
Suddenly, one voice separates itself from the group: “Finished!” It’s Anonymos, who is standing triumphantly on a random podium.
“Hey, me-“ Before the unknown voice can finish, Sunshine poofs back in.
“Hey guys, challenge over! So…Sprink and I will go into another room, and…um…” Sunshine pulls out and extremely large piece of ravioli, and begins to look over something.
“What …the...heck…” TBTDIF comments.
“QUIET! I’M READING MY LINES!!!” Sunshine yells out. She goes back to ‘reading’ the pasta, and after an hour, finally finishes. “OK…Sprink and I will go into the other room and…review the stories! Ya!” Everybody facepalms, except Chimmy, who belts out:
“Woo! Go Sunshine! YA!!” She gets extremely weird stares from everyone. “What?”
“OK! Hand over the stories!” Sunshine says, excited. Almost everybody hands over a jumbled mess of paper, except Cards and Oweguy. “So…you guys…” She points to the two. “No stories?” They nod. “Well, I can guarantee you won’t have invincibility…so, bye!” Sunshine throws down a random bomb thingy, and a cloud of ravioli mist explodes out from it. When the mist clears and everybody stops coughing, Sunshine is gone.
The camera cuts to a theme sounding vaguely similar to the Gilded Chris theme, only displaying pictures Sunshine instead of Chris. Most of the pictures depict Sunshine tacklehugging either Duncan or Shadow. For some odd reason, one picture shows Chimmy and Shadow making out, which causes half of the audience to “Awwww…” in approval, and the other half to puke uncontrollably. Finally, the plethora of pictures stops, and the elimination ceremony comes into view. “All right! The reviews will be faxed to you right now!” Sunshine announces.
Suddenly, a piece of paper flies into each of the contestant’s faces. Two choruses erupt from the group:
“Yes!” Chimmy, Nonny, Tdirm, TBTDIF, and Nalyd cry out.
“No!” Cards, Oweguy, and Usitgz protest.
“Anyways…Nonny wins invincibility!” Sunshine announces. Nonny's eyes go wide, but then his mouth opens.
"As much as I'd like invincibility...I want to give it to Chimmy." Everybody gasps. "Besides, she's the one who actually gave us the supplies in the first place!" Chimmy randomly teleports to every single contestant, EEEEing all the way. the way. Nalyd puts his hands over his ears.
“I CAN’T TAKE MUCH MORE OF THIS TORTURE!!” Nalyd screams.
“Too bad, Renrut!” Sunshine retaliates. “Cast your votes!” Her voice turns extremley loud, and she utters the words: “PLEASE vote off Renrut…”. A bunch of random beeping is heard, and a slip of paper shoots out of a small hole in the floor. “It looks like all of the vote-thingies have been cast! And the Gilded Pencils go to...hey, wait! HOW COME THERE ARE NO VOTES FOR NALYD WHEN I SPECIFICALLY SAID TO VOTE HIM OFF?!?!” Sunshine's left eyes twitches, and she stares at the contestants, looking for answers.
“Cause he’s Nalyd!”
“Nalyd is PWNAGE!”
“Renrut FTW!” Nalyd smiles triumphantly, and Sunshine takes on a defeated expression.
“Fine…Gilded Pencils go to Nalyd, Nonny, Tdirm, TBTDIF, and Usitgz!” The ravioli pixie tosses out the awards to their respective owners. Oweguy and Cards get worried expressions on their faces. “And the last Gilded Pencil goes to…” The music builds up to a crescendo, and the camera moves over to a purple-haired pixie with a drum, who utters a few words to the camera:
“I hate this job…”
"At least you get payed!" Sprink retorts.
"Shushies! Me still has to use the rocket thingy! Eliminated is...well, both of you have been pretty equal...so I'm just gonna pick at random!" Sunshine happily says. "What number am I thinking of?"
"Uh...57?" Cards guesses.
"WRONG!! YOU ARE---"
"Sunshine! Doesn't Owe have to guess?"
"Aw....Sprink, you're no fun!" Sunshine pouts. "Fine...Owe?"
"WRONG!!! And since I'm uber bored...YOU ARE BOTH ELIMINATED!!!" Owe and Cards gasp. "OH, IT'S TOO LATE FOR GASPETHS! GET ON THE AWESOMESAUCE ROCKET THINGY!! NOOWWWWWWW!!!!!" The mowhawked chef from before suddenly appears, and escorts the two off the stage. He gently pushes the two into the rocket, and the countdown begins. The chef calmly looks at the rocket going up, only to discover that he is going up with it. His t-shirt has caught on a wing, and the figure screams as he is carried off into the stratosphere. Sunshine looks up, and sweat drips down her face as she looks to the camera.
"That wraps up this week's TDA3! Who will turn in a pwnage story? Who will stab someone in the back? Who will copy Nalyd's signature? Find out next time on TOTAL! DRAMA! AUTHOR! THREE!!!!" She turns, and runs to another random rocket, which is launched as soon as she gets in it. "Come back, Sunny D!"
(Oh, and just like Nonny, I appreciate the writing skills of both of my eliminated people.)
“Last time on Total Drama Author 3 something happened but I didn’t see because I was staring at a picture of Duncan.” Sunshine said as she took out her picture of Duncan.
“I’ll handle this.” Sprinklemist said, “Last time on Total Drama Author 3 our contestants had to write a fantasy story and in the end Tdi was eliminated.”
“So what are we supposed to do now?” Turnertang asked.
“Something!” Sunshine yelled.
“We could sing.” Nonny suggested.
“Or we could go on a hunt for Shadow.” Chimmy suggested.
“You could do that but you can’t because we have a surprise for you!” Sunshine yelled as a giant box fell through the roof.
“Run!” Tdirm said as the box made impact with the ground.
“Next time can I travel on a plane?” Nalyd asked as he stepped out of the box.
“As you see Nalyd is joining the game.” Sprinklemist announced.
“Now for something important like the challenge!” Sunshine yelled as she flew in circles “The challenge is to write a five hundred page essay about how hot Duncan is.”
“How is this going to improve are writing skills?” Thebiggesttdifan asked.
“Its not.” Sprinklemist replied.
“You’re wrong!” Sunshine yelled, “Now get to work!”
“Duncan is awesome because he has a Mohawk.” Turnertang started.
“He is tough and strong.” Nalyd said as he wrote this down.
“But he is not as cool as Shadow.” Chimmy said as he wrote it down.
“You have three more hours.” Sunshine announced.
“I got this in the bag.” Owenguy mumbled to himself.
“He can beat up people.” Nonny mumbled as he wrote this down.
“493, 494, 495, 496, 497, 498. Words.” Turnertang counted “The end.”
“Times up!” Sunshine yelled as she grabbed everyone’s paper.
“Now lets grade them.” Sprinklemist said.
“Not enough time!” Sunshine yelled as she grabbed a random paper “The winner is Chimmy!”
“Oh yeah!” Chimmy cheered.
“Now vote someone off!” Sunshine demanded.
“I vote for Owenguy.” Turnertang said in the voting booth.
“I vote for Tdirm.” Nonny said in the voting booth.
“Lets see we have one vote for Owenguy, Nonny, Owenguy, Tdirm, Turnertang, Owenguy, Owenguy, Tdirm. So Owenguy your time is up.” Sprinklemist said as Owen got in the Limo of Losers.
“I’ll be back in the next season!” Owenguy yelled as the limo drove away.
(I’d just like to say that I picked the votes and who got out at random so no offense to the people who got votes.)
Sunshine is doing the recap.
“Last time on Total Drama Author 3, the final nine contestants did a fantasy story challenge. While some couldn’t figure out, some came up with pretty good ideas of their own. In the end, the Typing Bass won their five challenge and the Writing Gophers had to vote someone off. Again! It was down to Usitgz or Tdi and in the end, it was Tdi who got booted off because he did not do a original story. Oweguy didn’t do one as well but his team won. But this time we’ll have a sneaky surprise in this next episode of Total Drama Author 3!”
After the theme song (which got messed up with a monkey breaking into the studio) the final eight contestants are having breakfast with Sprinklemist making delicious pancakes with rich maple syrup.
“Hey! Why can’t you appreciate my cooking?!” shouted Chef suddenly there.
“Because your food is gross.” said the camera guy.
Chef then runs toward the screen yelling with rage.
“OH NO! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” shouted the camera guy.
Okay enough of that. The final eight were having breakfast. Chimmy was drawing pictures of Shadow, Anonymos and Cards777 were playing a card game, Tdiandrockmusic2 was listening to an MP3 player, Thebiggesttdifan was running outside to puke because he ate a bad gummy worm, Usitgz and Turnertang were playing with burritos, and Oweguy was making paper airplanes.
“Eight weeks of writing stories. I’m pooped.” said Chimmy.
“If we do good, our team could just win the next challenge.” said Cards777.
“We’ve been doing the teams for about eight weeks. I wonder when the merge is ?” asked Oweguy.
Sunshine suddenly appears out of nowhere.
“Good thing you said that big Owe.” She said.
“Where’d you come from?!” asked Anonymos surprised.
“There are eight of you left so hello to the best sellers!” exclaimed Sunshine.
“Yeah! I’m in the merge!” exclaimed Chimmy.
“And there’s also a special surprise.” said Sunshine.
“What’s that?” asked Turnertang. “Due to a lawsuit, Nalyd is now in the competition.” Sunshine replied.
“What?!” exclaimed everyone.
“But he was originally host!” shouted Oweguy.
“Yes but I wanted to join the competition and I’m going to kick butt.” said Nalyd.
“Okay. The challenge for you folks today is to write a bank heist story. Do good with grammar and remember, you’re not on teams anymore so it’s going to be hard from now on.” said Sunshine.
“Uh oh. This could be a problem for me.” said Chimmy.
Later, some of the contestants are watching Ocean’s Eleven to figure out a bank heist story while Oweguy and Nalyd were studying a book.
“Why are they reading a book?” asked Cards777.
“They might have some plan to win the challenge.” said Thebiggesttdifan.
“Why are we reading?” asked Oweguy.
“Because I have a plan to help us win the challenge.” replied Nalyd.
“Are you putting me in a alliance of some sort?” asked Oweguy. “Well, sort of.” replied Nalyd. “Ooh.” said Oweguy.
The next day, Sprinklemist and Sunshine are judging the stories.
“Okay cast. Let’s see what you wrote.” said Sunshine.
Cards777 is the first to show his story. Sunshine gets mad at what he’d done.
“This is basically the script to Ocean’s Eleven.” said Sunshine annoyed.
“Uh oh.” Said Cards777.
The next set of stories were basically the same as Cards’ story while some had no story.
“What is with you people!” shouted Sunshine.
“We just watched Ocean’s Eleven but it was late and we just accidently wrote the script.” said Turnertang.
“Arrgh. Nalyd and Oweguy. You’re next.” said Sunshine mad.
Oweguy and Nalyd’s stories were basically about the tdi characters figuring out a bank robbery with good story ideas and grammar.
“Brilliant work you two. You’re the winners.” said Sunshine proud.
Oweguy and Nalyd cheer in victory.
“The rest of you. Go vote someone off and I’ll see you tonight.” said Sunshine to the other contestants.
At the gilded pencils ceremony the nine contestants were picking who would be eliminated.
“Okay. The votes are cast. Gilded pencils go to, Oweguy, Nalyd, Chimmy, Turnertang, Anonymos, Cards777, and Usitgz.” said Sunshine.
The seven contestants get their gilded pencils. Tdiandrockmusic2 and Thebiggesttdifan are left.
"The last gilded pencil goes too……(Dramatic pause)……..Tdiandrockmusic2!” shouted Sunshine.
“What?! Why’d you vote me off?!” exclaimed Thebiggesttdifan.
“Because you didn’t have a story. I heard you fell asleep.” said Sunshine.
“Well, I played a good game. I’ll miss you all.” said Thebiggesttdifan.
Sunshine then uses her powers to make Thebiggesttdifan disappear. Sunshine closes the episode.
“And that wraps up another exciting episode. Join us next time on Total Drama Author Three!” Chef then crashes by still chasing the camera guy.
Author's Eight- Or Nine...
"Hey faithful audience, it's me Sprinklemist, doing the intro for the fourth time in a row," gruffly says Sprinklemist.
"Wait, Sunshine's here!" Screamed a pixie intern.
"Okay fine I'll do the intro, stupid interns pushing me around and puting a straight jacket on me when Duncan's directly outside the studio," said Sunshine under her breath.
"Welcome to Total Drama Author Three! Last time that one guy, I mean Tdi was voted out. What will happen today when the big merge, I mean big umm... suprise happens? Well hehe umm.. tune in or else, Sunshine out!" Sunshine introduced. The theme song comes on, but Sunshine somehow out of her straight jacket rips the reel in half. She foams at the mouth and says Duncan very creepily, and flies off.
"Umm... that was strange," said Sprinklemist. The camera pans over to were the Writing Gophers are.
"Ohh man, that was close last week," said Usitgz. They saw Sunshine fly by screaming Duncan. Chimmy followed her, also screaming Duncan. Everyone else raises there eyebrow, and walks away.
"That was very out of the ordinary," said Anonymos. They all chased after Chimmy, because they thought there was going to be a challenge and they needed her. The camera panned over to were the Typing Bass are still celebrating there win last week. Oweguy is dancing and TBTDIF, Turnertang, and Tdirm are sitting on a bench. Tdirm is listening to his iPod, while TBTDIF, and Turnertang are talking. Oweguy gets tired, and sits down on the bench next to TBTDIF.
"Nice dancing dude, high-5," said TBTDIF. Sprinklemist walks into the room, and tells them to follow him. The Bass see the Gophers holding Chimmy down.
"...But I need Duncan!" screams Chimmy.
"Okay guys, you are now, the.." Sprinklemist gets interupted before he can finish.
"Best sellers, I've done this before, twice!" TBTDIF said matter-of-factly.
"Okay, and we are bringing back... Nalyd!" screams Sprinklemist as Nalyd pops out.
"How'd that happen?" asked Cards.
"He sued the show," said Sprinklemist.
"And I'm here to win!" tells Nalyd.
"Your challenge is to stand as long as you can without sitting!" exclaims Sprinklemist. Turnertang steps in the confessional, and opens his mouth, closes it, and tries to walk out, but the door is locked.
"Well, anyways I don't see what standing has to do with writing," says Turnertang.
"We start... now!" exclaims Sprinklemist, just as Oweguy sits down.
"Wait, weres Turnertang?" asks Oweguy. Sprinklemist shrugs, and says he's out. after an hour, all seven remaining authors are still standing, and tdirm's legs give out, leaving six.
"Now we're going to raise the stakes, you have to stand on one leg!' said Sprinklemist. as soon as he says this Usitgz, Nalyd, and Chimmy fall over. After another half-hour, Cards falls over. After a long period of time, Anonymos falls over.
"The winner is TBTDIF!" exclaims Sprinklemist. They all start to walk away, when they relize that Turnertang still isn't here.
"That's just bad sportsmanship, and there for he is eliminated," said Sprinklemist. Everyone gasps, as the confessional is picked up by a forklift, and drove off. A new confessional is put in its place.
"One down, its so easy, all I had to do was lock him in there, and I'll just pick the rest of them off one by one," says Nalyd in the confessional
The End! (This does not reflect the views of the author in any way, its just for drama.)
Week 10 Stories
How I Spent My Summer Vacation, by Harold McGrady
As all of you classmates know, I was on the reality show hit, Total Drama Island. I’m sure all of you watched it so I could demonstrate my mad skills, which are so mad; you are barely able to see them without permanent brain damage. Nevertheless, all of you “cool people” still say I’m a nerd. GOSH!!! Well, at least you’ll be working for me in 10 years. Anyways, you all know what happened while I was on the actual show; especially what happened at the jet-ski race, it’s more important that you learn what happened while I was at Playa del Losers. Basically, all I did there though was arrive and hide from Courtney the Crazy She-Wolf. She was all, “I’m completely innocent, you had no reason to vote me off!”. Well, I was just playing the game, even if I really just wanted Duncan to suffer. It was mostly just her hunting me down with something sharp or heavy, but there was one moment worth telling you. It went like this, I scurried across the dark pool area. It was two nights after my elimination, and Courtney wanted blood. She found me, but she didn’t seem like she wanted to attack me.
“Harold,” she said, “I think we both deserve apologies from each other. I’m really…” I cut her off before she could continue her blatant lie.
“Yeah right, you just don’t want to risk me pulling off my MAD SKILLS on you! You don’t mean anything, you know no emotions except anger and that oh-so-apparent competitive drive. You get what you deserve, by ever liking that worthless punk Duncan.”
Her actual personality then came out,
“Ugh, I knew I shouldn’t have tried. I want to forgive you Harold, but I can’t to someone who wishes me ill! Goodnight Harold!”
I knew I had defeated Courtney, or at least for tonight. I went to sleep, having dreams of losing the competition to Owen, the person I least expected to win. Then, the next day, I woke up and went down to the buffet to find Courtney growling at me with a knife. That’s when my true misery began. But I persevered, and survived with my sanity and my health. Anyways, that was my summer, and I don’t regret anything, because I knew it was a good decision to boot her off. Then again, she should realize that I was just playing the game, just like her. Now I deserve an A after what I've been through, so I'm waiting...
Tuesday, October 20
So here’s what I did this summer…
Well, I came to this summer camp with my BFFFFL, Katie, and it was, like, so much fun!! So first, we got there and everyone totally wanted to be our friends, and we were like, yeah! Because who doesn’t love more friends? Well, everyone was super nice, except for this girl named Heather! She was so creepy!! Oh, and don’t even get me started on Duncan!! His piercings were totally not as cute as ours! Well, anyway, we got with everyone for a picture and the dock broke!! How funny is that? Well, it wasn’t that funny because we all fell in and we almost drowned. Anyway, we dried off and we were assigned our teams! Me and Katie were not together!!! It was heartbreaking!!!!
So we got our first challenge and it was totally scary!! So we had to, like, jump off of this cliff into shark infested waters!! I wouldn’t jump without Katie, so this super nice girl named Izzy switched teams with her, and we went down and we lived!!! How awesome is that? Anyway, the Killer Bass (our team) lost the first challenge!! Well, we had to go to this campfire and we got marshmallows to know that we were safe. Me and Katie both were!! We were so happy!! And this weirdo named Ezekiel got out because he was really mean to girls.
The next day we had to stay awake for as long as we could, and me and Katie fell asleep at the exact same time!! We lasted like thirty hours or something, which is pretty good, I guess. Well, we lost again, and some psycho named Eva was sent home because she destroyed our cabin!
On day three, we played dodgeball. It was the most PAINFUL game ever!! Never play it! EVER!! I got hit in the face like fifty million times!!! But we won our first challenge!! We were so happy!!! This guy named Harold (he’s kind of a geek, but don’t tell him I said that!) won it for us!
The next day was our talent show!! Me and Katie were super talented, but Courtney (bossy!) wouldn’t let us be in it!! We danced so beautifully!! It was not fair!!!! During the talent show, Bridgette (she’s super nice!) got sick and threw up on everyone!! Even on us!!! But then, Harold won the challenge again!!! We were safe!!!
Then came the worst day of my life. Well, our challenge was to spend a night in the woods, and so we went in the woods and me and Katie lost the rest of the team because we were eating blueberries (so yummy!). Well, we got into this huge fight because Katie got us lost!! I got so mad about it that I brought up the snack shack (I’m so sorry, Katie!!)! So, it started to rain, and we had to hide in a cave, but then this bear came and got all mad at us for being in his house! We had to run for it, and then we came back to camp and Courtney and the team got super mad (and I thought the bear was mad) just because we lost the challenge! It wasn’t a big deal… Courtney and Duncan both cost us challenges, but did we vote them off when that happened? NO! So, the team goes and votes off Katie!! It was so so so so so so sooooo sad!!!
The night of that day was when the Screaming Gophers (the other team) brought us some leftover dessert from their party for winning the challenge, and we all got into a huge sharefest about our deepest fears (heavy!)! So I said mine was bad haircuts, and this girl named Lindsay (super nice!) agreed. Then, the challenge was facing our fears!! It’s like the knew what we were saying! Well, me and Lindsay both had to wear these wigs (disgusting!) for the whole day and we did it!! Well, Courtney lost us the challenge (again!) but Tyler (he was okay) got sent home.
So the next day we had to do this canoe race thingie. I went in a canoe with that meanie Duncan, and geek-ish Harold. It took forever for us to get to the other island!! We came to this fork in the road, and we went to the right. Well then Geoff (he was so fun!) tripped and sprained his ankle!! I felt so bad for him!! Well, anyway we got our fire lit (Harold used our paddles for firewood…), and then it was a race back, and since we had no paddles, DJ (super nice!) pushed us all the way back and we won!!
Well, the next day we had our paintball challenge! I had to be a deer, which was horrible!!! I had to run around, and try to avoid all of the Screaming Gopher’s (the other team’s) hunters!! It was super scary!! I ran all around the forest, and didn’t get shot once!! I guess I’m pretty sneaky!! We won again!!!
The next day we had our cooking challenge!! I am a super good cook, but Geoff got to be head chef, which was okay. So me and Harold made our antipasto and Chris gave it a 9/10 points!! I guess I was a pretty good cook!! And guess what? We won for the bajillionth time in a row!!!
So in the morning, the girls were woken up a little early by DJ, Duncan and Geoff, who told us to go swimming! I love to swim (just like Katie!) so of course I did it!! Then the Bass boys brought over Harold (he was naked!) and made him apologize for leaving his undies around their cabin (EW!)! Then we had our trust challenge. Things were going pretty well for the Bass (we were tied) until the last challenge. I was in the first part of the last challenge. I had to shoot apples at Courtney to knock an apple off of her head! I couldn’t here Chris when he told me that I lost, so he had to shake me!! Courtney told me that I was going down, but I didn’t believe her. In the end we lost (oh well!). Anyway, at the campfire ceremony I got voted out! Courtney was right!! I bet she’s a psychic. Anyway, guess who was waiting for me? KATIE!!! I was so happy!!
Well, in the end of the season it turned out that Owen (super nice!) won the whole thing!! He threw us all a party (so fun!)!
So that’s how I spent my summer.
How I spent my Summer Vacation
By Heather Joneseys
First of all, let me say my summer sucked! It was horrible! I signed up for this reality show called Total Drama Island. I packed my bags, and I was picked up by a cab, and was dropped off by a boat. I boarded the boat and arrived at Camp Wawanakwa. I was greeted by the host, Chris Mclean. I hate him! Then this loser, Tyler, came and he was riding on jet skis. He wiped out and he got me wet when he splashed in the water.
I was then put on the Screaming Gophers. We ate lunch, and were given the first part of the first challenge, to jump off of a 1000 foot cliff! The other team, the Killer Bass, jumped first. There was no way I was jumping! So this girl, Leshawna, threw me off of the cliff! We won the first part of the challenge, so we got an advantage. For the second part of the challenge, we had to build a hot tub. We won.
Then the next day we had to run about twenty kilometers. Then we had to eat a huge buffet. Then we got the actual challenge: the Awake-a-thon. We had to stay awake as long as we could. I made an alliance with Lindsay and Beth. Then Eva, who has anger problems, dropped her MP3 Player, and I stole it. We won the challenge, again. When Eva couldn’t find her MP3 Player, she freaked out! She got herself voted off.
The next challenge, we had to play a game of dodgeball. We lost, and Noah was sent home. After that, Justin, Katie, Tyler, Izzy, and Cody were eliminated. Then Beth, who shot me with a paintball gun, was sent home. Soon followed by Sadie, Courtney, and Harold.
Then I made it to the merge, we had to eat Chef’s disgusting food. It was a battle of the sexes. The boys won and got a spa treatment. The Izzy and Eva returned. The next challenge was torture! I was eliminated because I couldn’t eat a slug. Leshawna won invincibility and Eva was eliminated again.
The next challenge, I had to get a key from Chef’s refrigerator. I won invincibility, and I kissed Trent, Gwen’s boyfriend. Trent was eliminated. He was followed by Bridgette, Lindsay, and DJ.
Then I had to get a bear in a cage without harming it. However, Izzy accidentally shot me with a tranquilizer dart, so she was voted off. Then Geoff was eliminated for being so nice. Then, the losers voted off Leshawna. Finally she was gone! I had a party, by myself, to celebrate her elimination.
The next day, our cabins were flooded, and they drifted out into the lake. I thought it was a challenge, but Gwen and Duncan didn’t think so. No one was eliminated in that episode. Then, it was the final four. It was a battle of the sexes. It was Gwen and I verses Owen and Duncan. We had to find our way back to camp. We had trouble at first. Then we tricked the boys into “keeping us safe.” Gwen and I woke up before them, took their supplies, and headed back to camp. We won. Duncan was eliminated.
The next challenge was the worst of my life! It was a game of spin the bottle. However, when you spin the bottle, it would land on a contestant’s face, and Chris would read their dare. I had to lick Owen’s armpit, eat jelly out of his bellybutton, wrestle an alligator, kiss Chef’s dirty sock, and more excruciatingly, worse things! However, it was Lindsay’s dare that got me eliminated, I had to get my hair shaved by Chef! I wasn’t sure what to do, so Chef was about to shave my head when I kicked the electric razor. It flew up, and shaved my head! I got eliminated because I didn’t accept the dare. I walked the Dock of Shame, and boarded the Boat of Losers.
I arrived at this place called Playa De Losers. No one would talk to me! But, it was okay because I didn’t want to talk them losers anyway!
The next day, we were taken back to Camp Wawanakwa, and Gwen laughed at my new wig. We were told to choose which person to support: Owen or Gwen. I supported Owen, of course, because I hate Gwen! Anyway, more than half of the people supported Owen because he said he throw an awesome party! I sabotaged Gwen by giving her a cupcake with a laxative in it. However, Owen ate it. In the end, Owen won when Izzy taunted him with the smell of brownies. Then the boys threw Chris into the lake. It was kind of funny. But, overall, my summer sucked!
P.S. Mrs. Hocker,
Just give me an A plus because remember the grading while driving incident? Well, if you don't, I do! So, if you don't want that to spread around school, give me an A plus! Just think about it.
How I spent My Summer By Izzy
Well first I was on some reality show were I got out but returned and then go out again but thats only the beginning of my summer. Later my friends the RCMP caught up with me and I we had a lttle run but the lost me in the middle of the woods. In the woods I met some beavers and they let me stay in their dam until I blew it up with some dynamite I found. I decided to go back to the real word so I snuck into some house and the lady was real scared to see me. So next I went to the Grand Canyon. I grabbed a skateboard and skated down it and broke a couple bones but I didn't want to see any doctors because I didn't want to waste any time. Then I had this idea to go paragliding. So while I was in the air the RCMP found me and was shooting me so I jumped onto the plane and had to fight all them but I got shot with some dart and when i woke up I was in some cage. SO i took out some gun in my pocket and shot the guard and took his keys and ran away, Then I realized summer was almost over so I went on a plane and flew to Hawaii. Then I made a to do list. First, Climb a volcano and parachute down from it, second go scuba diving a wrestle a shark, and find some guy and pull his pants down. So first I took a tour up a volcano but ditched the tour and climbed up all the way. When I jumped off I realized I had no parachute but luckily I landed on some guy. I felt bad for him so a I went to visit him but he called the cops so I had to flee. Then I bought some scuba gear went under water but I couldn't find any shark so I had to fight a giant squid but it just wasn't the same. Finally, I had to pull some guys pants down so i found this guy and pulled his pants down. It turns out he was the same guy I fell on so I had to run away from the RCMP once again. Finally, I got back to my house where my parents grounded me for leaving the house for months. So to get back at them I blew up my house. Anyways, that was one of the most boring summers ever. It was nothing like my trip to Los Angeles. I think Adam Andler is still after me but who knows.
How was my summer, you ask? Well, awesome, if you’re specifically talking about the first two weeks. During those first two weeks I spent sleeping, eating, and mastering video games in a dim basement, totally absent to the outside world.
Ah. That was paradise.
The other eight weeks really pissed me off. Near the end of the school year, I had auditioned for a show called Total Drama Island. It was just as a joke, as a way to tick Joey off for finding a loophole to his dare to get noticed by a bunch of big producers. Oh, I’m sure he expected me to go to Nickelodeon Studios and sit face-to-face with Stephen Hillenburg or Butch Hartman or someone and interview them, but being the child genius I am, I found a loophole. On second thought, Joey probably thought that I was gonna decline the dare, like I do for baseball in gym class all the time. But I like dares. It makes it even more fun to see people get mad when I actually find a loophole through the wackiest ones.
Anyway, turns out that little audition thing wasn’t really a joke after all. After the second week of summer, some guy named Mark sent me this letter back that said they liked my personality, and they wanted to accept me on the show. I had no choice but to fill out the paperwork. Otherwise Joey wouldn’t be mad anymore. A few days later, a huge limo screeched up to my house. I asked the African-American driver what the hell he was doing here, but he just said, “Are you Noah Kolaski?”
“Yeah,” I answered emotionlessly.
“Then come on in, boy.” The driver grinned, but the form of the smile looked more evil than friendly. After a few hours of driving, we came to a giant lake. I tumbled out, expecting to see a dock and a bunch of people, which Mark had described as my stopping point. But there was none. In a few minutes the driver got out with, and a giant but rugged and old cruise ship blasted over to where we were.
“Why do you keep following me?” I asked the driver. “Aren’t I supposed to get there myself?”
Driver Man had that grin on his face again. “Don’t you got any brains, boy?”
“Agh!” I yelped. “Stop pounding me with these abstract riddles!” Driver Man was really starting to get on my nerves.
We got on the giant ship. I found out that not only did it look bad, it also smelled like car exhaust and to top off everything else, it was completely barren. No people, no food, no machines, no nothing. Great. Now I had to spend an already-bad cruise with just a guy who made me uncomfortable.
I only felt better when the engine started roaring. For what the thing lacked in appearance it had in speed. The thing roared across the sea, and since I was smart enough to choose a side protected by the roof, I didn’t get splashed by the giant waves that came up every time we roared to a stop. Driver Man did, however. It was thrilling to see him in his soggy white suit and shivering, like a huge furless polar bear. I couldn’t help but laugh.
Because of the incredible speed, the cruise was over in about an hour. I expected at least a nice place as a generosity, but we didn’t even get THAT. I looked at the host and decided it was probably him who I should blame. With his ragged clothes, short hair, and teeth with a slight yellowish tint, he definitely didn’t look like anyone I would like.
The other cast members made me sad, too. I made a snide remark about some delinquent’s “cute” piercings, expecting him to punch me in the face, but he just grabbed my lip and let me down when I asked him. Is that jacked up or what?
We got assigned our first challenge after that, which was to jump off a 1,000 foot cliff. (Don’t believe me, Ms. Daniels? Look at its webpage.) I almost chickened out, but seeing as if I did our team would lose the challenge and thus vote me off, I jumped off the cliff. I’m pretty sure I would’ve actually smiled happily if 300 pounds of fat had just piled into the water. I got catapulted out by the splash and ended up in a lifeboat near the edge of the water. Turns out the three hundred pounds were really a guy named Owen. We managed to win the second part of the first challenge, which I was very thankful for. On my way to throw my “food” out, there was a guy over at the opposite team’s table who must’ve said something that made his teammates mad, because a girl ended up strangling him. I think it was him who was eliminated…nah, it must’ve been the girl.
The second challenge day was really uneventful. I think it was that we had to sit down on a log all day, but I can’t remember because I fell asleep during the challenge. Some punk from our team won it again, lucky me, and it must’ve been that talkative hick that got strangled three days ago who got axed.
The third challenge was fit for me. I mean, well, not fit for me at all. I have tons of practice at coming up with excuses for me to sit out in gym class, and this was no different. Just a tiny bit of smooth talk and soon I wasn’t even paying attention to the dodgeball game going on. However, when that dweeb started doing his little matrix moves, I HAD to pay attention. It was just so entirely cool.
The suckiest part was that the dork succeeded in his little matrix routine and we lost. And you know what? I don’t know how, but somehow I got kicked. For sitting out! Hello? I couldn’t do anything on the court anyway.
So…that was my summer, basically, if you don’t count the lounging and leaning I did in Loserville. What? Nerds have uneventful summers.
How I Spent my Summer Vacation, by Heather Davies.
How was my summer, you ask? Simple. The worst one of my life. And why would any summer be bad? Any summer can be ruined when you’re spending it on a reality show with a fart machine, a weird goth girl, a vandal, a total loudmouth, a party boy, a psycho hose beast, a total softie, a girl who’s as dumb as a post, a surfer chick, a music freak, an anger management freak, a nerd-wad, a stuck up CIT, two BFFFLs who sounded like dolphins, a nerdy girl, a tech geek who thinks he’s cool, a no-skill jock, a hottie, (who might have been the only one there who wasn’t as horrid as the others.) a bookworm, and a homeschooled sexist. Ug. The torture the sadistic host prepared for us every 3 days is still fresh in my mind. First of all, the food. I would have rather eaten roadkill, which was once the chef’s daily special for a whole week. And if you think just living with those freakshows I mentioned earlier would be difficult, imagine having to do challenges thought up by the freakish host! Half the time, I was considering suicide! And if that wasn’t enough, I had to be paired up with 11 of those freaks until the merge! Of those 11, I was able to make an alliance with two of them. Lindsay, the dumb blonde, and Beth, the nerdy girl. Of course, as all freakshows go, they both eventually rebelled against my perfect leadership. Lindsay even swore at me! Now, where was I? Oh ya, back to the challenges. Not only were they life-threatening and suckish, they were just plain gross! I did get to pull a prank on the weird goth girl once, though…but later in the same challenge, I got stung multiple times by overeager jellyfish!Some other crappy things that happened include weird goth girl putting red ants in my bed, burning my eyebrows off, and being locked in the freezer, thanks to Lindsay, that traitor. But the worst thing of all to happen…I was in the final 3. Chris, the sadistic host, was having us do dares thought up by the losers. It was complete torture. Owen, the fart machine, and Gwen, the weird goth girl totally ganged up on me! ME! Whatever grudge they had against me, I didn’t know, but I was forced to endure complete madness. I somehow managed to survive, until they spun Lindsay’s dare. I didn’t think much of it at first. I mean, what could LINDSAY come up with that was scary. But once I heard the dare, I nearly passed out. I had to have my head shaved by the chef! I was hesitant at first. Did I dare to trade my lustrous hair for 100,000 dollars? Just as the razor was about to snip off every precious lock of my hair, my leg shot up, kicking the razor out of the chef’s hand. However, I temporarily forgot the law of gravity. The razor zoomed back down, directly towards my hair. I fell to the floor, the razor ripping away at my wonderful tresses, until all of my hair was gone, except for some loose ends. As the host declared me out of the contest, I screamed louder than humanly possible. I returned to the island the next day, though, as Owen and Gwen battled for the cash. I supported Owen, for I had sabotaged Gwen the other day. But enough of the challenges, let’s just say that Owen won. As you can see, my summer was torture only those freakshows could come out of alive. And, of course, myself, who is perfect in every aspect. Except my hair, which I WILL get revenge on Lindsay for. But overall, this summer sucked. Big time. Now give me an A already!
How I Spent my Summer Vacation (By Owen)
How I spent my summer? It was totally awesome! I got signed up for this show called Total Drama Island and it was hosted by this guy named Chris Mclean. When I got there I gave him a big hug. There were a bunch of people there who thought I was an awesome guy. After I got there I met Courtney, Justin, and Izzy. I thought Courtney was nice at first but she seemed mean later. Justin was incredible and Izzy was some crazy gal. That’s why I like her now. Later I got put on the Screaming Gophers team which I thought was a pretty cool name. The other team was called The Killer Bass and the nerdy guy Harold thought it was a good name. We got settled later and Chris told us our first challenge was going to begin. I personally freaked out when we found out about the challenge.
Well the good news was that I luckily made my team win the first half and we got carts to carry our boxes to build a hot tub. The bass team didn’t do well on that and they loss. My team won and I did a victory dance naked. By the way, remember Izzy who I thought was awesome? Well she was on the other team at first. This girl named Katie wanted to be with her friend Sadie so Izzy switched with her. I thought that was nice.
On day two we did a challenge called the awake -a-thon where we had to stay up the longest. Unfortunately, I was the first one out. Also I ate the entire baked beans they served to make us more tired and the thing about baked beans? They make me sleep walk. I took my clothes off as well and I started wandering for a long time. I don’t know how I got back. I was asleep for a long time. My team won again because my teammate Gwen who’s this Goth girl stayed up the longest. I couldn’t believe she stayed up that long but that’s amazing.
Things got a bit rocky by day three. It was a dodge ball challenge and we were doing perfectly. We won two out of three rounds and then the bass started gaining up and won the next two rounds. At the end it was me against Harold and surprisingly, he got me out so the bass won the challenge. Luckily I got the first marshmallow so I was safe. It was this brainy guy named Noah who got eliminated because he wouldn’t help us with the challenge.
The weeks past and I saw nine contestants leave the island. I was now in the final ten and there was no vote off. The challenge was for a reward and it was a battle against the sexes. We had to eat a bunch of gross foods which I thought was yuck but some were pretty delicious. I really wanted more of the second course which was grasshopper pizza with jellyfish sauce and anchovies but the party guy Geoff said everyone needed to have one slice. I did wait for them. Course four was disgusting. It was fresh bunion soup with hangnail crackers. We boys couldn’t stomach it but the girls used skill to eat it. We passed eight courses and we got to the end which was dolphin wieners but Bridgette and DJ refused to eat it so Chris did a tie breaker with me and LeShawna. It was blended cockroaches and guess what? I drank more than LeShanwa did and the boys won. But then LeShawna puked everywhere and it lead to a puke fest. I luckily held it in and we went to a fancy resort for the weekend.
It was now the merge and I saw seven people leave the island. I got to the final five and felt I was going to win. Surprisingly LeShawna got voted off by the losers and it was now the final four. A sudden storm washed us away from the island. I got the farthest away from all of them and I befriended a coconut. I called him Mr. Coconut. We got found and my poor coconut friend was eliminated. I cried about it for a little bit. But then some awful thing happened. If you thought getting lost on a deserted island was bad, guess what? The next day, we all woke up in the woods, far from the camp. Chris was gone so his assistant Chef Hatchet was in charge. Me and Duncan almost won but Chef made sticky buns so I ate them and Heather and Gwen won. Duncan got voted off because Chef did not like him.
It was now the semi-finals and Chris did do anything with the challenge. The losers did. Heather had to lick my armpit and suck jelly out of my belly button. She was also going to lick my toe jam but she didn’t do it. It would’ve been gross. The good news was that Heather finally got eliminated and me an Gwen got to the final two. How she got eliminated was that she wouldn’t get her hair shaved but she got It shaved anyway. Everyone came back to watch me and Gwen compete and I had a little trouble. It took me a while to climb up the poll to get a flag and cross a cliff on a board but a little while after that, I had a little tummy trouble because I ate a muffin with laxative in it. It was a trick by Heather and it was for Gwen but I ate it because it looked tasty. It looked like I was going to lose because Gwen was ahead but I smelt brownies and guess what? I won! I was the grand winner and I won one hundred thousand dollars. I was very happy and so was everyone else. In the end, we all dumped Chris in the lake and that’s how I spent my summer. I had an awesome time and made a lot of friends.
How I Spent My Summer (by Courtney)
My summer was not as I expected. I signed up for a reality show, Total Drama Island. I got in. No surprise there. Other than me, there was a delinquent, a fat guy, a goth girl, a queen bee, sexist kid, no-skill jock, psycho girl, surfer girl, music lover, party lover, a girl with anger issues, a nerd, a bookworm, a wannabe, a guy who everyone thought was hot, a girl with an attitude, a gentle yet tough guy, two girls who are SUPER annoying, a self-proclaimed ladies man, and a dumb blonde. Not the people who I needed to spend a summer with.
My first day there, and Owen (who, by the way, is the fat guy) and I had a tiny, tiny interaction. Nothing more than that. I was put on the Killer Bass team. Anyway, our first “challenge” was to jump off a cliff. I have a medical condition, so I wasn’t able to jump. “It’s a calculated risk.” I said, but I was wrong. I thought that we would still win. But we lost. I took charge in part two, making a hot tub. We still lost, and I was almost voted off! Those idiots! I was a C.I.T! How appalling. Lucky for me, sexist kid Ezekiel took the boat home.
The next thing was an “awake-a-thon” where we had to stay awake. Queen bee Heather took away an MP3 player from anger issues girl Eva. Then we lost. Eva rampaged, so we sent her back home. Then we won our first challenge, dodgeball. They sent bookworm Noah away. Then came a talent show, where surfer girl Bridgette almost gave me a concussion. We still won, even without my talents. They sent so-called hot guy Justin away. We lost another challenge when we went camping. We sent home Katie, one of the two best friends. Another challenge was lost for us in the phobia conquering challenge. That no-skill guy I mentioned before? Yeah. He’s a Total Drama IDIOT. His fear is chickens. CHICKENS! I failed to conquer my fear of green jelly. So, again, I was almost sent off. Idiots. Chickens are PATHETIC. So, goodbye, no-skill Tyler. As if my life wasn't horrible enough, we went canoeing to a "cursed" island. Something that the cameras never caught was me riding on a Woolly Beaver. No one noticed me slip away. When we got to the other end of the island, we had to build a fire. I thought we'd win for sure. But, Harold (the nerd) threw our paddles into the fire. Izzy (psycho) made some sap ball and made a giant fire. When all hope was gone, Izzy commented that she was on a ship that broke down and that she had to push the boat to shore with some other passengers. That gave DJ an idea. He pushed up back to camp, and we won! They sent Miss Psycho home.
I felt like our winning streak would end, right then and there. We had a paintball challenge. I was a deer, and the Screaming Gophers were in charge of hunting Bass deer down. Then, the worst thing happened. My antlers got tangled with Mr. Delinquent Duncan. We were stuck like that for what felt like ever. Meanwhile, Cody, the so-called ladies man, got mauled. But we won, and Cody left. Could we keep our winning streak? Yes.
I saw Beth, the wannabe, and Sadie, the other best friend, walk the dock of shame. Then…something HORRIBLE occurred. Little dumb nerd Harold rigged the votes to get back at Duncan during the bootcamp challenge. So I was gone. But not before I shared a kiss with Duncan, that hot little dangerous delinquent. Moving on. Harold went down right after me. Karma really exists, I guess. It turns out that when you get voted off, you don’t go home, you go to a hotel. I saw the rest of the contestants arrive here until it came down to Gwen, goth girl, and Owen, fat guy in a few athletic challenges. Now, I know what you’re thinking. Gwen will win. Well, WRONG! Gwen got between Owen and a brownie and lost. So that’s my horrible summer.
Week 11 Stories
Cody: A Parody of Chuck.
Cody as Chuck Bartowski
Bridgette as Ellie Bartowski
Geoff as Devon "Captain Awesome" Woobcomb
Courtney as Sarah Walker
Eva as John... Jane Casey (Of course Eva's character is male.ZD...XD LOL)
Trent as Morgan Grimes
Gwen as Anna Wu
Harold as Jeffrey (not TDI Geoff)
Noah as Lester
Chef Hatchet as Big Mike
Duncan as Bryce Larkin (he's mentioned multiple times, but does not appear.)
and Heather as General Beckman.
To Be Continued... Or Started.
It’s the Great Pumpkin, DJ Brown!
Charlie Brown- DJ
Cody and Courtney began their usual Halloween walk to the pumpkin patch to pick out a pumpkin, which they would soon carve and place upon their doorstep. The multicolored leaves crunched beneath their feet as the pair made their journey. They arrived at the foot of the pumpkin patch, and Courtney signaled to the largest pumpkin, which was slightly bigger than Courtney’s head. Cody sighed and picked it up. He struggled with it, and was wheezing and panting all the way back. They came to their house and Cody dropped it on Courtney’s foot.
“YOU BLOCKHEAD!!!” Courtney screamed, “Get this pumpkin off of my foot!! NOW!!” Cody sighed and pushed it off her foot. Courtney smiled and grabbed the carving knife off of a nearby table. She sliced a large hole in the pumpkins top.
“Oohh!!” Cody sobbed, “You didn’t tell me you were going to kill it!!!” Courtney rolled her eyes and continued cutting.
Meanwhile, DJ Brown was raking leaves, with the assistance of Bunny, of course. They had created a large pile of leaves of all colors. Brown, orange, red, green, and yellow. DJ Brown began to fantasize what it would be like to jump into the pile, and feel the crunch of the leaves beneath him. His fantasy was broken when Bunny jumped into the pile, making a large crunching sound.
“Oh, good grief…” DJ Brown mumbled. Just then, Courtney walked by.
“DJ Brown!” Courtney exclaimed, “Guess what I have for you!”
“I give up,” DJ Brown replied.
“Oh, come on,” Courtney said, “Guess!”
“What?” DJ Brown asked.
“A football!” Courtney pulled a football out from behind her back. DJ Brown rolled his eyes. She placed it on the ground, holding it with her finger, just as she did every year.
“Do you honestly expect to me fall for that?” DJ Brown asked, “Right before I kick it, you’re going to pull it away, and then I’m going to fall on my back and kill myself!”
“This time is different!” Courtney said.
“How?” DJ Brown questioned.
“I have a contract,” Courtney pulled a document out of her pocket, “It states that I will not pull this football away.”
“Well, I guess that if someone has a legal document, then you can trust them,” DJ Brown shrugged. Courtney placed the ball on the ground and held it with her finger. DJ Brown took a few big steps back and ran. He wound up and kicked the ball, or almost kicked it, anyway. He fell flat on his back, and he opened his eyes to find Courtney holding the ball, snickering at her trick.
“Peculiar thing about this document,” Courtney said, “It was never notarized.”
“Good grief…” Muttered DJ Brown. Courtney laughed as she walked back into her house. She saw Cody sitting at a desk, writing.
“What are you writing?” Courtney asked as she walked by.
“A letter,” Cody replied.
“To who?” Courtney questioned.
“The Great Pumpkin,” Cody said.
“The Great Pumpkin?” Courtney snickered, “You can’t be serious! You’re still going on about this from last year?”
“Yes! I know it’s true!” Cody exclaimed.
“Come on, let’s go outside,” Courtney ordered. Cody shrugged and put his pencil down and followed Courtney outside.
“Hey, guys,” Gwen greeted.
“Hi, Gwen!” Courtney exclaimed. Cody waved.
“So, Cody, what are you doing for Halloween?” DJ Brown asked.
“I’m waiting in the pumpkin patch for the Great Pumpkin to arrive!” Cody exclaimed.
“Cody, I’m pretty sure that the Great Pumpkin doesn’t exist,” DJ Brown said.
“What’s the Great Pumpkin?” Gwen asked over Bunny’s laughter at Cody.
“The Great Pumpkin rises out of the pumpkin patch on every Halloween night to give gifts to all the boys and girls,” Cody explained. Gwen looked slightly intrigued, but quickly gave up her expression when she realized the way that others were looking at her.
“Cody, if you don’t give up this ridiculous belief,” Courtney threatened, “I’m gonna POUND YOUR FACE IN, YOU BLOCKHEAD!!!” The others stared at her, “Well, I’m going to go get into my costume. It’s almost dark.”
“Me too,” DJ Brown said. Gwen followed him into her house.
“Aren’t you going to get into costume, Cody?” Gwen asked on her way in. Cody shook his head.
“I’m waiting in the pumpkin patch, remember?” Cody asked. Gwen nodded, and although she wore a frown upon her face, she made her way into her home.
Later that night the three of them met up again in between their houses.
“Are you ready to go trick-or-treating?” Courtney asked. Gwen and DJ Brown nodded. The three of them proceeded to the first house. Courtney knocked on the wood of the door.
It swung open, “Trick-or-treat!” The three kids exclaimed. The reply from the woman at the door was inaudible, and strikingly resembled a trombone. The woman dropped three items into their bags.
“What did you guys get?” Gwen asked, “I got a lollipop!!”
“I got a cookie!” Courtney exclaimed.
“I got a rock…” DJ Brown frowned, “Let’s go to the next house,” They proceeded to the next house together, and Courtney pounded on the door.
“Trick or treat!” The three kids sang. The woman at the door sounded exactly like the woman at the first, and she dropped three items into their bags.
“I got gum!” Gwen giggled.
“I got a cookie!” Courtney smiled.
“I got a rock…” DJ Brown grimaced. Courtney started to laugh as the three made it to the next house. The trio went from house to house and soon came to the pumpkin patch.
“Come on!” Courtney exclaimed, “There’s Cody! Let’s go make fun of him!’ They walked over to him, and after a few good insults, Courtney had made fun of him enough.
“Can we go now?” DJ Brown asked. Courtney nodded, and she and DJ Brown started to walk away. Gwen didn’t move.
“Come on, Gwen,” Courtney ordered.
“Nah,” Gwen shrugged, “I’m gonna stay here with Cody for a little while.”
“Suit yourself,” Courtney shrugged. She and DJ Brown left.
“So, when is this Great Pumpkin supposed to appear?” Gwen asked.
“When the time is right, the Great Pumpkin rises out of the most sincere pumpkin patch,” Cody explained.
“Uh-hu…” Gwen sighed, “This is going to be a long night…”
Meanwhile, back at DJ Brown’s house…
Bunny stood in the middle of the yard, dressed in full World War One flying gear. He surveyed the area, and then made his way towards his cage. He climbed on top of the cage, and the cage began to fly. It soared over houses, and over DJ Brown, who had just received another rock. But suddenly, a shot is fired. There is a hole in the side of his cage! Bunny angrily waved his fist at another bunny sitting on another bunny cage in midair. His cage crash-landed in the pumpkin patch; the same pumpkin patch where Cody and Gwen were.
Cody’s ear twitched. He heard something in the patch, “It’s the Great Pumpkin!” He screamed. Then he fainted dead away. Bunny then revealed that it was actually he in the pumpkin patch.
“That’s not a pumpkin!” Gwen shouted, waking Cody up, “That’s Bunny!!”
“Wha…” Cody woke up from his daze.
“You made me miss Tricks-or-Treats!!” Gwen screeched, “YOU OWE ME RESTITUTIONS!!! I’ll sue!!!” Gwen stormed off in a huff, leaving Cody all alone. Cody remained in the pumpkin patch all night long, and at dawn, somebody left their house and came to the pumpkin patch.
Courtney grabbed Cody by legs and started dragging him inside their house, “You’re so heavy…” She grunted. She placed Cody on his bed and laid a blanket over him. She smiled and then left his room.
“I can’t believe you waited in the pumpkin patch all night,” Courtney said upon seeing Cody. Cody sighed and then went outside. DJ Brown was sitting on the ground, petting Bunny.
“Courtney keeps making fun of me for waiting in the pumpkin patch,” He sighed.
“It’s okay,” DJ Brown reassured, “I’ve done lots of stupid things in my life too.”
“It wasn’t stupid!” Cody exclaimed, “The Great Pumpkin is real!! He’ll be here next year, for sure!!!”
Cast (In order of appearance)
Ms. Tutweiller- Courtney
London Tipton- Lindsay
Bailey Pickett- Beth
Cody Martin- Noah
Zack Martin- Chris
Woody Fink- Owen
Mr. Moseby- Chef Hatchet
“Okay class, now I’m going to ask a question and I will pick on someone to answer it!” Ms. Courtney Tutweiller explained, “Lindsay Tipton, What is the capitol of Denmark?”
“I know this one,” Lindsay exclaimed, “it’s, um, um, uh, Manipedi?”
“No. Beth Pickett, do you know the answer?”
“Yes! It’s Copenhagen.” Beth said.
“Correct. Noah Martin, what is the capitol of Finland?”
“Helsinki.” Noah answered.”Correct.”
The bell rang, signaling that class was over.
“Study for your test next week!” Ms. Tutweiller told her students.
“How was class?” Justin Martin asked his brother, Noah Martin.
“You were in class!” Noah said.
“I had to catch up on some sleep, so why not take a nap in the most boring class.” Justin explained.
“Hey Justin!” Owen Fink, Noah’s roommate said.
“Hey Owester!” Justin said.
“Guess what I just heard,” Owen said.
“What?” Noah said.
“There’s a Mexican food buffet tonight!” Owen said.
“Oh no.” Noah said.
“Oh yes!” Owen said, “Tonight, I’m going to hold a concert tonight! I hope you like rock music!”
“But, you don’t know how to play any instruments. Do you?” Noah asked,
“No, but why do you have to have instruments when you can fart!” Owen said, and then farted.
Noah gagged and had to leave.
(More to come!)
A parody of the ever inspiring “Space Chimps”
Duncan as Ham III
Courtney as Luna
Harold as Titan
Cody as Comet
Geoff as Houston
The camera crew as The Three Experts
Heather as The Senator
Chris as the Lord of That Planet thing
DJ, Leshawna, and Justin as the Circus Freaks
“Welcome…to the Muskoka Circus!” A black, strong man in a green shirt smiles as he announces the spectators to the circus. “We’re just about ready to begin with our opening act. He’s big, he’s bad, he’s a daredevil, he’s…DUNCAN CATAPULT NELSON!” The audience claps politely even though they have no idea what the man is talking about. The man clears his throat. “Um, Catapult?”
“Okay, these ideas are twisted,” “Catapult” Nelson mutters to his father, Geoff. “But I guess I’ll do it. They don’t call me Dare-Duncan for nothing.”
“Um, Duncan,” Geoff mutters, “how many times did I tell you that Dare-Duncan is the cheesiest stage name ever?”
Duncan ignores him and walks onto the lower section of the catapult. “I’m ready to rock!” he exclaims, and raises his arm up in the air. “Peace! Send me free!”
A fat woman from above shoves a colossal stone down onto the higher section of the catapult. The catapult reacts almost immediately, sending Duncan flying up in the air. The audience watches in amazement as Duncan crashes straight through the tall circus ceiling and come back down—this time, though, dancing in midair and doing short flips. A teenager comes out with a large pizza box that has a target printed on it. “Go, Catapult!” he shouts. The audience joins in.
Duncan somersaults and flips, finally noticing the large pizza box. “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” he screams, and you can probably guess where Duncan ends up landing.
“My face!” screams a voice.
Yeah, you can definitely figure out where he lands. Duncan lies on his back, his torso pressing on the teenager’s face. Do I even need to mention it was a hard landing?
Anyway, Duncan just shrugs casually and makes a thumbs-up motion in the air. “Ta-da.”
The man yells—not screams, yells—from under Catapult. “Ta-da? TA-DA? THiS IS THE WORST DAY OF MY LIFE! Get off me!” The audience stands in shock.
The teenager grunts and gets up from under Catapult. The black man scratches the back of his neck. “Um…o…kay…”
Another black man, several hundreds of miles away, says, “Hey, I just found out the first three steps we need to cure cancer.”
A tall woman raises an eyebrow and says, “Are you sure about this?”
The man shrugs. “Nah,” he says. “But I like having people think I am.”
A girl with black hair suddenly walks into the room. “Hi, experts!” she smiles cheerfully with a childish laugh. “How’s your research on the space program going!”
“Swell, Senator Heather,” a third man at the table says.
“Great!” Heather smirks. “Because unfortunately, due to some important stuff, we won’t be able to afford one this year.” She snickers.
“How can we get it back?” the woman asks, panicky.
“You won’t—I mean, you can’t,” Heather says. “Not unless you follow my plan. Do you know how many marshmallows you poor windbags could live on if we held a cell phone fundraiser?”
The scientists discuss, take notes, research, do whatever stuff scientists do to find the answer to something. Finally, the black man, Hatchet, answers, “Fourteen!”
“Yeah,” the white man, Phil, says. “We’d spend the rest on hamburgers, strawberries, and French fries.” He looks in awe at the amount of money on the screen.
Heather looks slightly annoyed. “That was a rhetorical question, brainiacs. No need to answer it.” Remembering who she’s talking to, Heather smiles again. “So..yeah! We can hold a cell phone fundraiser, which will make you rich, in exchange for getting rid of the space program.”
Phil says, “Wait a minute, Senator Heather. Why do we have to get rid of the space program? What has it ever done to us?”
Heather laughs. “Oh, you experts are so oblivious. It’s just…no one NEEDS a space program anymore to go out there and work their butts off in space. It’s all technology now, all in the electronics.” She taps her cell phone. “But since you guys are so un-stingy, there IS one last mission you can take before I close down the space program for good.”
The woman, Nancy, says impatiently, “Yeeeeeesssss…”
“Calm down, calm down!” Heather exclaims. “Okay. Remember that probe 1,000 that was used to discover more about Jupiter?”
Hatchet stares blankly. “Uh…what?”
Heather smacks her hands in her head. “Oh, god, are you even experts by profession? Remember? One. Thousand. Jupiter. Probe.” Hatchet continues staring blankly. “Oh, god. You guys suck.”
“He’s just a little dumber than the rest of us,” Phil says quickly. “Now, yes, I remember the probe. What’s the mission?”
“The mission is,” Heather says, with dramatic effect—“the probe kind of got sucked in a black hole in the middle of Mars and Jupiter, and we have no idea where it went, so we’ve all been kind of wondering where it’s gone. In short, we need a person to go and find out what the heck happened. So, hot on the idea?”
“Uh-uh,” Nancy says boldly. “That would most likely cause a liver disease.”
“Maybe malaria,” Phil adds.
“The common cold.”
“But most likely,” the two say together, “death.”
“So you’re not taking on the possibility?” Heather snickers.
“We could always send those insane freaks,” Hatchet points out.
Heather stands silent. “Hey, I thought you were supposed to be the dumb one!” Nancy hisses.
“Huh?” Hatchet asks.
Heather sighs. “Umm…okay…I guess we could do that. They don’t even have the same physical health as we do, so they could work.”
Down in the “insane cage,” where the “insane” people live, they’re basically acting like monkeys.
“Augh! Harold! Can you please stop that?” One insane person, Courtney, whines.
“What? It’s just that I have such MAD SKILLS and you’re jealous!” Harold retorts.
“Guys, you are just too overwhelming,” Cody, the final insane person, mutters to the two. He works on a gadget a bit further away from the other two. “Don’t you ever think about normal things?”
“You’re the abnormal one, Cody!” Courtney growls as she strangles Harold. “Oh, you’re gonna get it this time, you little bit—“
Okay…enough of them. Because I’m the storyteller of this epic tale, I get to switch points of view, so let’s switch the point of view to where that Probe 1000 actually went.
Where it went was onto a tiny asteroid in the middle of nowhere after it got stuck in the black hole. That asteroid went quite far compared to most asteroids, and it took Probe 1000 to a small planet that Earth was about two times the size of. On this planet lived the magnificent king, Chris Meowclan, and his trusty citizens, Bob Dylan, Michael Jackson, Weird Al Yankovic, et cetera. All these musicians hated Chris, for some reason, and vowed to kill him. The feeling was mutual due to this, and Chris threatened to boil everybody in the Freeze-nar. (What? He read the label wrong when he bought it, and it just kind of stuck.) No one wanted this, so of course everybody stayed put, but they still wanted to kill him.
Once again, because I’m the storyteller of this awesome tale, I can switch points of view. And now I’m gonna switch it back to Duncan to start the plot.
“Hey, Duncan,” Geoff, Duncan’s father, says to him the night of the circus fiasco, “there’s, like, someone at the door! Can you get it?”
“Whatever, Dad.” Duncan rolls his eyes and reaches for the doorknob, but before he can, the door is knocked over.
“Oh, sorry, sir…” the burly man at the door says awkwardly, “we thought you wouldn’t respond. The door doesn’t cost too much, I suppose.”
“It’ll be a tough refund, but yeah, it doesn’t cost so much,” Geoff says, looking up. “Hey, man, I’m Geoff, and this is my son, Duncan. Whatcha here for? Acting contract?”
“No,” the man says. “We’re actually here because we think your son Duncan needs to be taken to the insane asylum down the corner.”
Duncan’s eyes bug out. “How can you say that so casually?” He grabs the officer’s arm. “Look. I’m fine, and I’ve got references.”
The officer laughs, and a bunch of people with tranquilizers enter the Nelsons’ house. “No, no, sir. We just think you’re a bit of a…daredevil, you know what I mean?” The other dudes raise their guns and shoot Duncan in the back with tranquilizer darts until he finally collapses and lets them take him away.
“Eh, guys, what the heck do you think you’re doing?” Geoff gives the men a fierce look, a dictionary in his hands.
“I’m afraid we’ll need to take you with your son.” Soon Geoff is dragged along in the same procedure, and the truck holding the two drives over to the insane asylum.
Duncan wakes up in the insane cage next to Courtney. She screams. “GAH! Who are you?” She jumps up the ground and acts like Duncan will hurt her.
“Relax, princess. I’m just the new guy in this epic tale,” he says.
“What?” Cody says, and drops his gadgets. Harold subsequently gets electrocuted. “GOSH!” he screams. Harold suddenly notices Duncan. “Hey, who are you?”
“You already heard my epic statement,” says Duncan. “And I’m not gonna say it ever again.”
“Oh yeah?” Harold argues. “Let’s see if I can’t make you!”
“Guys, I TOLD you you were overwhelming,” Cody says. “Besides, Harold, Duncan would knock your nuts square off in a fight.”
“I would?” Duncan ponders what Cody said. “Hey, cool!”
Senator Heather sticks her head into the insane cage. “All right, everybody, load up!” she says in glee. “You’re going into space! And with every space expedition comes training!”
“All right!” Harold says, and jumps onto one of the three seats available.
“Hey, me second!” Courtney jumps in, and Duncan follows.
“All right, um…what’s your name again?” Cody asks Geoff.
“All right, Geoff, let’s all get on for this outer space trip!”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Heather mutters disapprovingly. “Three seats, three peeps. No more, no less.”
“Oooh, that bites,” remarks Geoff.
“But…but…” Tears form in Cody’s eyes. “Courtney, would you be willing to trade seats with me?”
“If you traded seats with me, let me put it this way—I’D SUE YOU FOR SURE.” Cody steps back a few inches.
“You cannot replace my MAD SKILLS, though yours are awesome.”
“Sure. I’m willing.” Duncan unfastens his seat belt.
“No!” Heather shouts. “You’re the one that HAS to go on!”
“Don’t you understand?” Heather says menacingly. “You’re not insane at all! We only brought you here for the trip!”
“Why?” Duncan asks. “I’m Catapult, not dorky Neil.”
“You should know your grandfather.” Heather’s voice becomes gravelly.
Duncan begins to cry. “P-please don’t get started on Ol’ Grandpa Duncan. I loved him.”
“But he was a space explorer, right?”
“W-w-w-well, yeah. But I’m not.”
“Yes, you are.”
“Just shut up!”
“No,” Heather growls. “You’re going into space. You are.”
“Aw, can’t you be generous to the little guy back here?” Geoff says.
“Cody’s been here long enough. He doesn’t need the trip.”
“Fine,” Cody complains.
And so the three brave insane people set off into space training. Will they ever be heard from again? Find out when I get back from my eternal storytelling break.
--The End, yet destined for sequels
A Chrisgiving Carol
Chris as: Ebenezer Chris
Owen as: Owen Cratchit
Chef Hatchet as: Chef Marley
Duncan as: Tiny Duncan
Ezekiel as: The Homeschooled Kid of Thanksgiving Past
Harold as: The Dork of Thanksgiving Present
Eva as: The Rage-aholic of Thanksgiving Yet to Come
Izzy as: Mrs. Cratchit
Katie as: Katie, Young Chris's love intrest
Tyler as: Tyler, The Random Little Boy at The Beginning
Lindsay as: Lindsay, The Random Little Boy's Friend
It was Thanksgiving Eve in Muskoka. The children were skipping around, wondering what perishable food the Merry Thanksgiving Hobo would leave them overnight. One little boy made the unfortunate mistake of wandering in front the doorstep belonging to the grumpiest man in the county. Just as he began to pick the football he had dropped, the door slammed open, squishing the boy against the outside of the building. The man was Ebenezer Chris. Chris took one step out of the building, and the whole town seemed to shudder.
“Who disturbed the great and handsome Ebenezer Chris?” No one dared to speak up. The hustle and bustle town of Muskoka was silent for a few minutes. Just then, a tiny, innocent voice piped up from the crowd.
“Oh, it was my friend, Tanner!” The crowd backed away from the source of the voice. A little girl with blonde hair stood alone. Chris hissed at the girl.
“And where is your little friend?”
“Oh, to your left, trying to sneak away from you.” The girl pointed to the right. The old man looked in that direction, just as Tyler was about to make his escape. Chris’s hawk-like eyes creased, and Tyler ran away in fear. About halfway up the street, he stopped, panting. The boy cried out to his friend:
“Come on, Lindsay!”
“OK, Tyson!’ Lindsay ran off in the opposite direction, as Chris smiles.
“They just can’t handle seeing such a wondrous face…” The old man muttered, as he slid back into the murky depths of the building.
The work day had started at the Chris and Marley Bakers. This was where Ebenezer Chris himself, and his partner, Owen Cratchit, worked. Owen, a chubby man with blonde hair, was a replacement after Chris’s old partner, Chef Marley, passed away. Chris, however, wore a frown as big as Nova Scotia on his face. You see, Ebenezer Chris did not understand the true meaning of Thanksgiving. How, no one knows. Why, no one knows. All they knew is that he did not like Thanksgiving, as simple as that. Chris frowned, and went back to his cream pie. Meanwhile, the clock had just struck twelve. Owen leaped up from his work, and headed for the door. Just like that, Chris was in the path of the large man. “Where do you think you’re going?”
“Dude, it’s Thanksgiving Eve! It’s customary for workers to go home early.” Owen explained.
“Too bad, chubby! You’re staying!”
“Really? That’s…that’s AWESOME! WOO-HOO!” Owen picked up Chris in a giant bear-hug. Chris, struggling to breathe, managed to gasp:
“All right! Just put me down, you fatty!” Owen obeyed. Gasping for air, Chris walked over to the door, and picked up his trenchcoat. “Now, I’m going home, like a SANE person would!”
Night had fallen across Muskoka. Chris had just finished brushing his teeth. He flashed a smile at the mirror. It broke. “Apparently, normal glass can’t take my wondrous smile…” Chris randomly pulled out some plexiglass. It broke as well, sending plexiglass spiraling across the room. One of the pieces hit Chris in the…well, I think you know. All was silent for a moment, until Chris fell to the ground. A high pitched: “Bah, earwig…” was heard.
Chris had been rushed to the Muskoka General Hospital for Old Peoples. Lying in his hospital bed with a bandage over the area that had been hit, Chris fell into a deep sleep, thinking that the morning would be normal as ever…
But fate had other ideas.
It was around 10:00 when the first stage of the mission began. Chris had just awakened from his nap. Suddenly, a figure began to materialize in front of him. Chris backed up against the backboard of his bed. The shape finally finished emerging, to reveal…the ghost of Chef Marley. Chris gasped.
“Chef? Wha-wh-what are you d-doing here?” Chris stammered.
“I am the ghost of Chef Marley!” The sprit said eerily.
“Duh, I know that!” The ghost’s anger seemed to increase.
“WELL, TOO BAD! THAT’S WHAT’S IN MEH SCRIPT!” The raging spirit pointed to a slip of paper. “Anyways...TONIGHT YOU SHALL BE VISITED BY THREE TURKEYS!”
“Turkeys?” Chris asked. “What happened to ghosts?”
“THIS IS A MODERN TALE! NOW, GET OUT!"
“You’re the one who came in!”
“DON’T CORRECT ME! GET OUUUUTTTTT!!!!” Chris began to feel sleepy. Ever so sleepy. Chris blacked out.
When Chris awoke next, thirty minutes had passed. Thinking the previous event was a dream, he was about to settle back into a deep sleep. But just then, another spirit appeared in front of Chris. The man screamed. “Do not be alarmed, eh! I am Ezekiel, The Homeschooled Kid of Thanksgiving Past!”
“OK, Chris is freaked out here. You’re a talking turkey!”
“I know, eh! Freaky, isn’t it? But that’s beside the point, eh. Let’s get moving!” A portal opened up next to the ghost, and he flung Chris in. Ezekiel dove after the screaming man.
“ARE YOU NUTS?” Chris yelled as they zoomed through the vortex..
“And WHY did you chuck me in the portal?”
“One, I like chucking stuff, eh. Two, I need to show you something.” There was a light at the end of the portal, and the twosome flew through it. Suddenly, they were flying over Muskoka of the past. “Now, off we go!” Ezekiel increased their speed, sending them crashing through the window of a school.
“WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT FOR?”
“I don’t know! I guess I need to work on my landings…now, quiet, eh!” Chris looked around, only to see a familiar sight.
“Hey…this is Frank’s Academy of Handsomeness! This is where I became so incredibly handsome!”
“Um…sure, let’s go with that!” Just then, a bell is heard. Everybody stood up, and dashed out of the building, except for one boy. Chris stared wide-eyed.
“Wow, eh…you were even more handsome back then!”
“Er…let’s move on!” The two are suddenly standing in the middle of a party.
“I remember this! This is where I met…her…” A beautiful young woman was walking up to young Chris. He smiled.
“Hey, Ebb…wanna dance?” The young man’s face turned red.
“Um…sure.” Katie’s hands fastened into Chris’s, and the two began to dance. Romantic music began to play, and Ezekiel sighed.
“Ah…young love…” A tear came to Chris’s eye.
“Yeah…” Ezekiel looked at a random clipboard he had taken along.
“Let’s see…milk, cheese, berries…oh crap! This is my shopping list!” Ezekiel facepalmed, then turned back to Chris. “I guess we’re all done!” The pair were suddenly back in the portal, and before you could say “Bah, earwig”, Chris was back in his hospital bed.
Confused, the man tried to get back to sleep, but his attempt was interrupted by a beeping noise. He tried to ignore it, but was interrupted by a sudden outburst.
“YES! Take that, Bowser!” Startled, Chris leaped out of bed. Another turkey was playing a Gameboy.
“Ahem?” The spirit looked up, and then quickly put the video game into his pocket.
“GOSH! I was in the middle of level 52!” Just then, the spirit recognized the face of Chris. “GOSH! Sorry, sir!” The turkey bowed. “I am Harold, The Nerd of Christmas Present!” Chris looked at the turkey’s taped glasses, pocket protector, and the book he had by his side, ‘Calucus for the Advanced’
“That’s the understatement of the year.” He muttered.
“Anyways…wait, this is the present! GOSH!!” The spirit muttered: “I swear, when I get to the boss, I’m totally gonna use my MAD SKILLS on him!” Harold turned back to Chris. “So…wanna go spy on your neighbors?”
“All right then!” Harold grabbed Chris by the arm, and they flew over Muskoka. Never before had Chris seen such a sight. With all the houses warm and filled with light, from the air it looked almost…magical. The two came descended, landing directly in front of the Cratchit household. A large figure was walking over to the table.
“Wait…that sneaky little Owen! He went home early!” Harold checked his watch.
“Exactly!” Chris peered into the window, and saw the Cratchit family sitting down to a very late dinner.
“So, kids!” An orange haired women with green eyes exclaimed. “How was scubajaggle today?” A chorus of ‘Great!’ ‘Awesome!’ and ‘Amazing!’s rose up from the children, except for one boy. He had black hair, and a green mohawk. He just muttered.
“Who’s that?” Scrooge asked.
“That’s Tiny Duncan. GOSH! I hate that kid!” Chris shrugged, then looked back in the window.
“Duncan, can you at least try to be positive once in a flubnarl?” The women asked. Owen walked up to the women.
“Oh, it’s all right, Izz.”
“OK! Let’s chow!” Izzy stuck her whole head into some pudding. All of the kids imitated her, except Duncan. He just ate like a sane person would. The chaos continued for an hour, at which point everybody fell asleep in their dessert. Harold stared in shock.
“Well…THAT was a waste of an hour...let’s get out of here!” Chris is suddenly standing back in his hospital room, alone. Knowing now that the third ghost would be here soon, Chris stayed alert.But there was nothing. Nothing. Nothing for another whole hour. By the time the third turkey arrived, Chris had fallen asleep. He heard a growling noise. Chris tried to ignore it, but just then, someone began using a bullhorn directly in his ear.
“WAKE UP ALREADY!!!!!” Chris immediately leaped up, and stood at attention
“Yes, sir?” Then he looked closer at the spirit. It had long black hair in a ponytail. “Um….madam?”
“Argh…I would kill you right now, if my contract allowed it…anyways…I’m-“
“Let me guess, Eva, The Rage-aholic of Thanksgiving Yet To Come?”
“…wow…handsome AND psychic…but now I’m supposed to show you the future…” 5 seconds passed. “BEHOLD! THE FFFFFUUUUUTTTTUUUURRRREEEEE!”
“What the crap?” A muffin walked up to Eva, and said in a demonic voice:
“Luke…I am your father…” She fell to the ground.
Chris sat up in bed. He looked around. Just your normal hospital room. Chris sighed. “Thank goodness…it was all a dream…just your average, insanely freaky-“ He was cut off by someone poking him. He looked down to see a turkey with a green hoodie and a teal hat. “Sup, eh.” Chris stared for a full minute. Then he fainted. The turkey stared at the narrator. “What?”
Owen as Scooby
Beth as Velma
Lindsay as Daphne
Harold as Shaggy
Trent as Fred
Heather as the Ghost
Izzy as the Stranger
The Evil Ghost
“It sure was nice of your aunt to let us stay at her house for a couple days.” Trent said as he drove the Mystery Machine down the road.
“Since she was out of town for a week she said we could stay there if we want.” Beth said.
“Zoinks! This place gives me the creeps but it’s a good thing I have mad ninja skills.” Harold said as the van ran into something.
“Rut ras rat?” Owen asked.
“How come you’re talking like that?” Trent asked.
“I don’t know.” Owen replied as he scratched himself with his foot.
“Okay.” Trent said as he walked outside the van.
“That bump messed up my toe while I was painting my toes.” Lindsay complained as she looked at her toes.
“Jinkies! We ran into someone!” Beth yelled as they stared as a person lying on the road.
“Is she okay?” Trent asked as she picked her up.
“That felt so good!” Izzy yelled.
“I thought you were dead but I could use my mad CPR skills.” Harold said as he practiced CPR on a tree.
“Rat ras rod.” Owen said as he watched Harold.
“Rop ralking right rat!” Beth yelled, “Now you got me talking like that!” Beth yelled.
“Back to the point.” Trent said, “What were you doing out here.”
“I went to this castle but there was a ghost so I attacked it but it has mad kung fu skills and beat me so I ran away.”
“Crew, it looks like we have a mysterious on our hands.” Trent said as they walked to the castle.
“I wonder if this castle has some nail paint for my toes.” Lindsay said as she ran inside the castle.
“Ron’t reave me rear!” Owen yelled as he ran on all fours and chased Lindsay.
“Like don’t leave me man!” Harold yelled as he after them.
“We’re coming too!” Trent yelled as he and Beth ran in after them.
“Boooooo! I’m the ghost of this castle! Leave now!” the ghost yelled as he disappeared through the wall.
“We should split up and look for clues.” Trent said, “Lindsay and I will go this way.”
“No way! I’m going with my BFF Beth.” Lindsay protested.
“Yeah!” Beth agreed.
“Fine you go with Lindsay and I’ll go with Harold and Owen.” Trent said as they went different ways.
“Jinkies! I think I found a clue.” Beth yelled.
“What is it?” Lindsay said as she painted her nails.
“Where did you get that paint?” Beth asked.
“At the gift shop.” Lindsay replied as she pointed at a shop.
“Lets go!” Beth cheered.
“What about the clue?” Lindsay asked.
“Its just some stupid wig.” Beth replied as they ran into the gift shop.
“I told you to leave and you didn’t leave so now faith the wrath!” the ghost yelled as he pressed a button and a bunch of spiders charged at them.
“Do something!” Trent yelled.
“I got an idea!” Harold yelled as he took out his nun chucks but the spiders ate it, “Those spiders ate my nun chucks!”
“I’ll eat them!” Owen yelled as he ate all the spiders.
“Good work. Now lets find Lindsay and Beth and make a trap.
One hour later…
“Ronster! Rover rere ronster!” Owen yelled as the ghost saw him and chased him.
“Now!” Trent yelled as he and Lindsay jumped on the ghost but missed.
“You failed again!” the ghost yelled as he grabbed Owen.
“Take this!” Harold yelled as he hit the ghost with his nun chuck and knocked the ghost out.
“Good work.” Trent said as he unmasked the ghost to find Heather under the mask.
“Of course.” Beth said, “That wig we found must have been one of Heather’s but why did you do it?’ Beth asked.
“I was bored and I love scaring people.” Heather said as the cops threw her into the car.
“I would’ve gotten away of this if it weren’t for you meddling teens and you’re fat, weird talking teen.
“Ru rot rat right.” Owen said as the cop car drove away.
Diary of a Nerdy Kid (a parody of Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
Harold as Greg
Owen as Rowley
Duncan as Rodrick
Cody as Manny
Chris as Greg’s Dad
Katie as Greg’s Mom
Ezekiel as Fregly
First of all, I want to get something straight: this is a JOURNAL, not a diary. GOSH! I know what it says on the cover but when Mom (actually she’s not really my mom. This is a parody of this book I read so it’s just Katie from Total Drama Island) went out to buy this thing I SPECIFICALLY said to make sure it didn’t say “diary on it. I’m very tired for all the bullies beating me up because of it especially my older brother Duncan (Who isn’t my brother but my worst enemy) who picks on me the most so don’t expect me to be all “dear diary this” and “dear diary that.”
On the bright side this diary will make me world famous someday. People around the world will be asking me all about my life and this diary will get their questions answered by just reading that and I don’t even have to talk to them. Well I’ll be famous some day but right now I’m stuck in high school with a bunch of dorks.
Today was the first day of school and it didn’t go so well. The desk I sat in had gum on it and I had to get a change of pants. And that happened the first period of the day. GOSH! It took a while for the teacher to finish the seating chart so I figured I’d just right in this to pass the time. But I should tell you, on the first day of school you should be careful where you sit because the teacher will then say that these are your permanent seats. So I got stuck with these guys named Tyler and Noah near me. This girl Courtney almost sat near me but I stopped that at the last minute.
At lunch I sat with my friend Owen who was too busy talking with these girls named Beth and Lindsay. I tried telling him about problems at school but he wouldn’t listen. I’ve been staying around him for a while today because after the last period of the day he asked to come over and play. I told him we now call it hang out, not play. Well at least the first day of school was done so I took a big snooze when I got home.
We had P.E. at school today and I went to see if the cheese was there and it sure was. It fell out of Owens sandwich last spring and after at least two hours it had already gotten very moldy and nasty. How does Owens food get so back after a few hours? It normally takes at least a few days for something to get rotten. Well it could’ve happened because he farted where it was. Gross. I was mad at what Duncan had done to me a few months back in June. He woke me up late at night and told me that I slept through the whole summer and I woke up on time for the first day of school. I got fooled easily because he’d shut the shades so I couldn’t see that it was dark out and also he was in his school clothes. So I went down to have breakfast like any other school day until my dad Chris (Who once again is an actor and not my dad but the host of a TV show I’m on) came down shouting why I was eating cheerios at 3:00 am. Then I realized that Duncan tricked me and that he would get busted and I couldn’t wait to see him get in trouble. But he covered his tracks well and Chris just thinks I was a big fat liar.
If I have problems with him, I also have problems with my little brother Cody. (Who once again is an actor and he’s not as small as Manny from the Wimpy Kid books. Are you getting sick of hearing this over and over?) He always is around when something goes wrong involving me. I broke a window once and he told on me, and that happened a few years ago and he didn’t tell them until a few years later. He drew on my door once in permanent marker and I thought he’d get in trouble this time but as usual, I was wrong. If you have problems with siblings, I guess we have something in common.
I have a friend who’s strange and brothers who are always getting me in trouble but this guy who’s coming next is the worse. He’s a weird Canadian guy named Ezekiel who’s just very weird. He once asked me I wanted to see his secret freckle and I nearly got diarrhea from him asking it. Luckily I didn’t see it so that was a relief. He’s always saying eh and has made up language, like when he was in kindergarten and he needed to go to the bathroom he would always shout punch. I’ve gotten to know his language since then but I don’t think the teachers have.
By the way, remember the cheese? Well Ezekiel touched it today and caused something called the Cheese Touch. This is basically parodying the book Diary of a Wimpy Kid but I know that because the director told us to do all this stuff. Anyway, the Cheese Touch is like the cooties so you’re stuck with it until you pass it to someone else. Ezekiel got it in May and passed it on to some kid I don’t even know but he moved away and took the cheese touch away with him.
A way to prevent from getting the cheese touch is to cross your fingers real good. I had trouble at getting them to stay crossed so I just taped them together to make them stay like that. I got a D in handwriting but it was worth it. I even had to go to the emergency room afterword because they snapped and the tape went flying off and hit me in the eye. I getting tired of writing for today so I might do more of this diary on the weekend.
If you want to see more of the story, write to Owenguy101 on any of the Total drama wikis.
Week 12 Stories
Cody stepped off of the airplane, and into the airport. He was getting off of his first flight, and was getting ready to board his next. Cody, you see, had entered a reality TV show, Total Drama Island, and was on his way there. He decided that the best thing to do would be to go to baggage claim. He sauntered over, passing booth after booth of sandwiches and newspapers, and soon arrived at baggage claim. The suitcases went by on a conveyer belt, one by one. Cody soon saw a bag that looked like his, and grabbed it off.
“Oh, is that you Avital?” A Yiddish woman saw Cody, and walked over, “Oh, my, you haven’t changed a bit!” She ruffled his hair. She ran her hand through it, as though she was looking for something.
“I’m not Avital!” Cody exclaimed, “And my hair is totally messed up! Now how can I attract the ladies?”
“You can’t!” The Yiddish woman said, “You are a selfish little boy! You only think of your hair!”
“My mom told me I was a mensch!” Cody defended, “I don’t know what that means, but it sounds good!”
“You are no mensch!” The woman cried. She walked away, grumbling. Cody turned his back on her and headed towards the bathroom. The bathroom was, strangely enough, unisex. He had to fix his hair. Cody reached into his bag, looking for his hair gel. He soon found it. He applied it to his hair, and fixed it, just the way he liked it.
Cody looked in the mirror and said, “Why do I look so much like Chris McLean?”
“Because that’s Chris’ hair gel!” Chef Hatchet stormed into the bathroom. Chef Hatchet was instructed to take Chris’ luggage with him on his first day to work at Camp Wawanakwa, “Children like you deserve punishment! Stealing people’s luggage, now that just ain’t right!”
“I thought that it was my luggage!” Cody protested.
“You deserve punishment!” Chef screeched. He grabbed Cody, put him on his knee, and started to spank him. Cody squealed with pain.
Duncan, also on his way to Camp Wawanakwa, stepped out of a stall, “Usually I’d be laughing at something like this,” Duncan admitted, “But right now, it just seems wrong…”
Meanwhile, at the airport’s security checkpoint…
“I swear, I just forgot to take my belt off!” Leshawna protested.
“Are you sure that you weren’t armed?” The security guard asked. Earlier, Leshawna went through the security checkpoint and she set off the metal detector. She was taken into a back room by the toughest security guard in the business.
“Yes, sir!” Leshawna answered.
“What is your name?” He questioned.
“Leshawna, sir!” Leshawna replied.
“And how old are you?” The security guard inquired.
“Sixteen, sir!” Leshawna said.
“You’re sixteen?” He looked suspicious, “Really?”
Leshawna looked nervous and said, “I really am sixteen, I swear!” The guard glared at her, “Alright, I’m seventeen! I had to lie about it to be accepted into Total Drama Island!!!” She sobbed.
“Lying to an official?” The guard glared at Leshawna, “You have to spend all day in airport jail!”
“But I’ll miss my flight!” Leshawna exclaimed.
“You should’ve thought of that before you forgot to take off your belt!” The guard said. Leshawna rolled her eyes.
Meanwhile, in a suburban home…
“Lindsay, Jonah, what do you want for lunch?” Asked Lindsay’s mother.
“Anything is fine with me!” Lindsay giggled. Lindsay was at her house with her new boyfriend, having one last lunch before she had to go to the airport to catch her plane to Camp Wawanakwa. Just then, her cell phone rang. She looked at the caller ID, “Oh, I should take this!” She got up and headed into another room to take the call.
“So, Jonah, what do you want for lunch?” Lindsay’s mother asked.
“I love chicken,” Jonah replied.
Lindsay’s mother’s eyes widened, “I don’t that-“
“I’ll order,” Jonah cut her off. He grabbed the phone off of the wall, and put in a number.
“So, what’d I miss?” Lindsay asked upon her return to the room.
“Jonah is ordering chicken…” Lindsay’s mother sighed. Lindsay’s eyes widened larger than her mother’s had.
“I just finished the order,” Jonah said. Lindsay’s eyes widened even bigger. Lindsay sprinted out of the room, “What’s her deal?”
“Well, Jonah, I should tell you this now,” Lindsay’s mother sat down, “You’re going to find out sooner or later.”
“What?” Jonah asked.
“Well, if you hadn’t interrupted me, you would know,” Lindsay’s mother said, “When Lindsay was a little girl, she was subject to a bully. This bully made fun of her every morning, and beat her up every afternoon. One year, Lindsay switched schools, and was happy to be rid of the bully. One day, when she was older, we wanted to order some chicken, and we did. Lindsay went to the door when the man arrived. It turned out that the delivery boy was Lindsay’s bully, and he beat her up, right at the doorstep, after recognizing her. Lindsay’s been afraid of the chicken place ever since.” Just then, the doorbell rang.
“It’s the chicken man!!!” Lindsay wailed, cowering behind the couch in fear.
“I better get it,” Jonah said.
“Yes, you better,” Lindsay’s mom agreed. Jonah answered the door, and was beat up on the spot.
Meanwhile, at another suburban house…
“Why do we have to auction all of our stuff off?” Noah asked.
“To pay for your flight to Camp Wawanakwa,” His father replied. Noah came from a poor family, and needed the prize money for his family. His parents could only pay for his trip by auctioning off their possessions.
“Next item,” His mother was running the auction, “Is this flowerpot.”
Tears started to well up in his eyes. Noah took his head in hands and exclaimed, “Anything but the flowerpot!”
“I’m sorry son; I know how much it means to you,” Noah’s father comforted. That flowerpot had more sentimental value than you would think. Not only had it been in the family for many generations, but also last year, Noah had pet puppy. He found him on the street one day, and he loved it more than anything. The flowerpot served as his food bowl. Noah was taking out for a walk one day, and the dog pulled the leash out of Noah’s hand. His dog ran across the street, and was hit by a car. Noah collapsed on the ground, crying. The flowerpot was the only thing that he had left after his dog’s death. After his dog’s death, Noah had become sarcastic and cruel to everyone, in order to have an outlet for the unpleasant emotions that he experienced each and every day, when he remembered his dog.
Noah began sobbing after his most valued possession was sold.
Meanwhile, back at the airport…
Ezekiel sat at a table in a very elegant restaurant, trying to kill some time before his flight, and waiting for his food. Earlier that day, he saw a commercial for the restaurant he was eating at. The commercial showed a large piece of chocolate cake, moist, deep brown, drenched in chocolate. It was the perfect thing for a chocoholic like Ezekiel. He had decided to savor his slice of cake when he got it, eating one small bite every ten minutes. He kept a timer in his pocket just for the occasion.
“Here’s your cake, hon,” The gum cracking waitress slid the cake across the table to Ezekiel. Ezekiel’s eyes widened.
He lowered his head to the level of the cake. Ezekiel gently whispered, “I always knew you were the one for me.”
“Don’t talk to the cake,” The waitress criticized, “Just eat it.”
“I brought this timer, eh,” Ezekiel told her, “To keep track of how much cake I eat in-“
“Hon, I’m paid to bring you your food,” The waitress interrupted, “Not listen to your stories.” Ezekiel shrugged, and took a small bite of cake as he gazed at his timer.
Meanwhile, in another part of the airport…
“Omigosh, Katie,” Sadie exclaimed, “I can’t believe we’re so close to being on TV!”
“I know, Sadie!” Katie squealed.
“EEEEEEEEEEEE!!!” Both of them cried.
“Mom, I can’t believe you’re making me do this!” Heather protested, “Just look at those two! They’re contestants! I’m not staying with them!”
“I am and you will,” Heather’s mom said, “Besides, it’s just one summer.”
“Ugh, wait here,” Heather ordered, “I’m going to the bathroom.” She headed towards the unisex bathrooms.
Heather’s mom walked over to Katie and Sadie, and sat down next to them “Are you two supposed to be contestants on Total Drama Island?” They nodded, “Great! So is my daughter, Heather. Would you two mind kind of being nice to her, and sort of being her friend? She’s nervous.”
“Well, first we’ll have to see what she’s like,” Katie responded.
“Never mind then…” Heather’s mom sighed.
“Aren’t planes terrible?” Sadie asked.
“Yeah, I don’t like flying,” Katie replied, “Omigosh, Sadie! Neither one of us likes planes!”
“EEEEEEEEEEEE!!!” They squealed.
“If you didn’t go on planes, how would you get to faraway places?” Heather’s mom asked.
“Good point…” Sadie mumbled, “I wish I were a bird!”
“Me too!” Katie exclaimed. She turned to Heather’s mom, “Don’t you wish you were a bird?”
Heather’s mom stood up and repeated, “I wish I were a bird?” She noticed that Heather’s flight was leaving in twenty minutes, “I should really go.”
“Bye!!” Katie and Sadie said at the same time. Heather and her mom made their way to the gate.
“Omigosh, Sadie!” Katie exclaimed.
“Omigosh, what?” Sadie asked.
“I have to go to the bathroom!” Katie replied.
“Well, then you better hurry, Katie!” Sadie warned, “We have to leave soon!”
“It’s okay,” Katie reassured, “It’ll only take a minute.” They walked over to the bathroom, and Katie noticed it was unisex, “I’m not going in there!”
“Why not?” Sadie asked.
“It’s unisex!” Katie protested, “We have to find another one!”
“Katie, all the bathrooms are unisex!” Sadie informed.
“Then we’ll have to leave the airport!” Katie instructed.
“This airport is in the middle of nowhere!” Sadie exclaimed.
“Too bad!!!” Katie screamed. She grabbed Sadie’s wrist and dragged her out of the airport. The two walked for thirty minutes and found an outhouse next to a shack.
“Use that!” Sadie commanded.
“What if someone’s inside?” Katie asked.
“Check!” Sadie ordered.
“You check!” Katie cowered in fear, afraid of what might be inside the outhouse.
Sadie walked to the left, kicked the outhouse, and heard someone inside shout, “What do you think you’re doing?!”
“Kicking an outhouse…” Sadie explained. The door of the outhouse swung open, and Owen stepped out.
“How dare you kick an outhouse with someone inside!!!” Owen shouted.
“Sorry…” Sadie muttered, and then pushed Katie in front of her, “It was her idea!”
“I don’t care who’s idea it was!!” Owen roared.
“What’s going on at my outhouse?” Harold’s father stepped outside the shack, followed by Harold.
“This girl kicked the outhouse while I was using it!” Owen said.
“Why were you using my outhouse?” Harold’s father asked.
“I had to go!” Owen protested.
“You did not have permission!!” Harold’s father argued.
“If a person is lost in the middle of nowhere,” Owen stated, “He has full rights to any outhouse!”
“You just made that up!” Harold’s father accused.
“I did not!” Owen argued.
“You did!” Harold’s father glared.
“This is totally not fair!” Owen screamed, flailing his arms. “I’ll sue all of you! I’ll sue you, and you, and you, and ESPECIALLY YOU!!!” He pointed from Harold, to Katie, to Harold’s father, to Sadie.
“Why me?” Sadie asked.
“You kicked the outhouse!” Owen said.
Harold stared blankly at it for a moment, then screamed, “IT’S GONNA KILL US ALL!!!”
“No, it’s not, son,” Harold’s father reassured, “It’s just gonna sue.”
“Oh,” Harold sighed, “IT’S GONNA SUE US ALL!!!”
“Let’s take him to court!” Harold’s father stated, “Everyone into my pickup truck!”
“But I have a plane to catch!” Harold protested.
“You’re a witness!” Harold’s father shouted, “You too, girls!” He pointed at Katie and Sadie. They sighed, and got into the pickup truck with Owen, Harold, and Harold’s father.
Duncan boarded the plane of contestants for Total Drama Island from that particular part of Canada, and noticed a large number of empty seats. He shrugged, and sat in between Heather and Noah, the only two people that actually made it onto the flight.
Here’s what happened to those involved, who were unable to board the plane…
Cody had to be taken to the hospital after his butt bone was broken because Chef spanked him too hard.
After attempting to escape from airport jail, Leshawna was arrested and taken to court.
Lindsay and Jonah spent the rest of the day in therapy, working out her issues with delivery people.
Ezekiel was taken to the hospital due to food poisoning that was in his cake.
Katie and Sadie were put in jail, due to some clause in Harold’s father’s outhouse deal with the company, which forbade kicking the outhouse.
Harold spent the rest of the day serving as a witness for his father. Lastly, after winning the lawsuit, Harold’s father forced Owen to act under a false persona on a reality TV show known as Total Drama Island.
Noah took his heads in his hand and exclaimed, “Anything but the flower pot!”
“That’s right!” Heather laughed evilly.
“Lets stop right there.” Trent said as everything froze “Lets go back a little to see how this happened. I know what you’re thinking though. Why am I standing here? Well I am the narrator and lets start from the beginning. It all started on a Sunday as Lindsay was walking down the street.”
“I love to walk in the street!” Lindsay sang as Noah ran by her.
“I can’t believe its true!” Noah yelled as he ran by Lindsay.
“Hey Noah! Stop! I want to say high!” Lindsay yelled as he followed Noah into someone’s house “What are you doing here?”
“Heather asked me out and I ran over here to see if it was true!” Noah exclaimed as looked for Heather.
“It’s the chicken man!” Lindsay wailed, cowering in fear behind the couch.
“What does that have to do with anything?” Noah asked.
“Behind you.” Lindsay stammered as a giant man wearing a chicken suit walked up to Noah.
“I’m not a chicken man! I just got a job at some fried chicken store.” said Heather’s Dad, “Sometimes I wish I were a bird.”
Heather’s Mom stood up and repeated, “I wish I were a bird?”
“Were did you come from?” Noah asked.
“I was sitting on that couch the whole time. Now you two children get out of my house!” Heather’s Mom yelled as Heather walked into the room.
“No, they’re with me.” Heather said as she dragged them into her room.
“What do you want?” Noah asked.
“Well I decided to get revenge on Chris for all the bad things he’s done so I get the toughest and smartest people here.” Heather explained as Duncan, Eva, Cody, Harold, and Beth walked into the room.
“Honestly, we don’t need you Lindsay. So I’m going to have to make you leave.” Heather said as she grabbed Lindsay and tried to throw her out the window.
“Usually, I’d be laughing at something like this.” Duncan admitted, “But now, it just seems wrong...”
“Get off my BFF!” Beth yelled as she attacked Heather.
“Fine! She can stay!” Heather yelled as she pulled Lindsay back into the house.
“So first let’s make a plan.” Noah said as everyone got into a huddle.
“I would let you hear there plan but it is really boring so I am just going to skip through it.” Trent said as everything sped up and stopped as soon as they go out of the huddle.
Cody looked into the mirror and said, “Why do I look so much like Chris McClean?”
“The plan is when he sees you he’ll chase you because he doesn’t want anyone to look as good as him. Then the rest of us go into his house and mess it up.” Noah explained.
“I got it.” Cody replied as the all walked into a car.
At Chris McClean’s house…
“Hello!” Cody yelled as he knocked on the door.
“Hey what’s up?” Chris asked as he looked at Cody, “You look almost as good as me. Which is why I have to hurt you!”
“Run!” Cody yelled as he ran away as Chris chased him.
“Everyone inside!” Heather yelled as everyone ran inside.
“I hear some growling.” Duncan said.
“Its just some stupid dog.” Eva said as a shadow of a giant dog appeared.
Harold stared blankly at it for a moment, then screamed, “It’s going to kill us all!”
“Relax, it’s just a cute little dog.” Lindsay said as she picked up a Yorkshire terrier
“I knew that.” Harold said as everyone grabbed some supplies to destroy the house.
“Don’t kill me!” Cody yelled as Chris chased him “I’ll hide in this barn.”
“Hey what’s up Cody?” Owen asked as he ran into him, Katie, and Sadie.
“I need to hide now!” Cody yelled as Chris searched around the barn.
“You can come with us on the pie tour.” Sadie suggested as they walked into the barn.
One hour later…
“This is totally not fair!” Owen screamed, flailing his arms. “I’ll sue all of you! I’ll sue you, and you, and you, and ESPECIALLY YOU!!!”
“Just because they didn’t let you have a free pie doesn’t mean you can sue.” Katie said.
“Owen, be quiet.” Cody said as Chris walked in to see what was happening “Got to hide.”
“Hey, where’s Cody?” Sadie asked after they calmed down Owen.
“I don’t know.” Katie replied.
“I’ll check the outhouse.” Sadie said as she walked over to it.
Sadie walked to the left, kicked the outhouse, and heard someone inside shout, “What do you think you’re doing?!”
“Sorry!” Sadie yelled as she ran away in embarrassment.
“I give up.” Chris said as he started walking home.
At Chris’s house…
“Come on! Duncan smash faster! Eva rip the couch apart now! Beth spray paint the wall now!” Heather yelled as everyone ran around destroying everything.
“I can’t break anything else.” Noah said as he panted.
“Break the flower pot.” Heather said.
Noah took his heads in his hand and exclaimed, “Anything but the flower pot!”
“That’s right!” Heather laughed evilly.
“Home sweet home.” Chris said as he walked into his house.
“Everyone run!” Heather yelled as everyone ran past Chris and into the street.
“What in the world happened here!?” Chris yelled in anger “I will get my revenge!”
“Well, that was my story. Have a great night!” Trent said as he started walking away.
It all started on an unusually warm February day. Twenty-two high school students had had the idea to put on a play, but they never really got to it, for unknown reasons. Anyway, these nincompoops started bringing up the play again, and whaddaya know? They decided to do it.
But who cares about the boring old play? We’ll focus on the preparations of the show.
One day, there was this really narcissistic guy, who is not anything like me, by the way, who always looked in the mirror. This narcissist was named Cody. Cody looked in the mirror and said, “Why do I always look so much like Chris Maclean?”
The narcissist named Cody was in a dressing room, ready to appear on a show. While the freako was dressing, a nerd over at the end of the room said, “You don’t look anything like that jerk, Cody.”
HEY! I mean, um—Cody, without looking up at the nerd, responded, “Oh, shut up, Harold. You’re just jealous of my beautiful face.”
“That was exactly what I thought your response would be.” Harold sighed and stood up, ready to leave.
“Hey, Harold,” a creep named Owen remarked, “why are we in this dressing room every day, anyway? I mean, it’s not like we’re part of the show.”
“You come to see my wondrous shirt. No-brainer,” Cody said from the other end of the room.
“Owen, you must have amnesia or something!” Harold exclaimed. “We appear on the show all the time. It’s a pity that we never get to write any parts of it, though.” He sighs and puts his hands in his pockets.
“That’s it!” An OCD victim, Trent, says from his corner of the room. “We can make our OWN show! And we can perform it in seedy milk-selling saloons for four hours…” Trent trails off in his own fantasy.
“Good idea,” Harold says. “I’ll tell the girls when they get out of their rooms.” He scurries out of the dressing room.
After the girls, who are just as idiotic as the boys, get out of their dressing rooms, Trent brings up the terrific idea of the play.
One girl who actually HAS some class, Heather, turns her nose up. “A play? It’ll never work. That egomaniac Chris will just sell us all out and declare him star of the whole play. I don’t know why he even drags us along as cameo roles here.”
“Not if we can blackmail him.” A juvenile delinquent named Duncan gives a fierce grin.
“Duncan!” quips a stuck-up little bossy client named Courtney. “We can get him ratted out perfectly fine without blackmailing.”
“I know, I know,” he chuckles. “I just wanted to annoy you…”
EPILOGUE: (because I doubt I'll finish this in time, and I wanna post a funny bit)
Chris Maclean stands in front of a shaky camera. "H-h-hi, this is...C-Chris M-m-m-m-Mclean," he says nervously. "Umm...yeah, this story was entirely fictuous, so...um...I got sued because someone tried to put this in an...um...memoir." He laughs nervously. "And...I lost. So..." Chris then breaks his innocence trance. "Hey, when I get out of here in thirty years, you'll pay, copyright-stealing-man!" The camera fades out as a loud whipping sound is heard. "OW! The pain...OW!"
It was just before Halloween. But not just any Halloween. This was Halloween in Muskoka. And this year, Chris was hosting a Halloween Dance. Everyone who came absolutely HAD to be in costume, or they would NEVER be allowed back to the McClean Manor. EVER. The best costume would receive bragging rights, a picture in the paper, and whatever they wished. Except cash. Everyone who was anyone was attending. That is, except for 10 teenagers.
“Ug! Mom, I am NOT, I repeat NOT, going to that stupid party!”
“Oh, come on, sweetie!” Heather’s mom persisted, trying to stuff a costume onto her daughter’s torso.
“MOM! I told you, I’m NOT doing it!” A diminutive scuffle occurred, but the canary costume eventually slid it’s way onto Heather. She groaned. “Mooommmm!! This is so lame!”
“Really? I wish I were a bird.”
“Say that again.” Heather deviously requested, as she held a tape recorder behind her back.
Heather's mom stood up and repeated, "I wish I were a bird?"
“Perfect.” Heather assured her mother as she logged onto YouTube.
Meanwhile, at the Muskoka Juvenile Detention Center, one of it’s main residents was stirring up trouble. At least 50 guards were on the move. The culprit sprinted from the prison, with his pursuers slowly gaining.
“DUNCAN LANCASTER! COME BACK HERE WITH MY HAIRPIECE!”
“Make me, baldy!” Duncan forced his legs to move faster, and left the guards in the dust. Despite his small stature, Duncan was very strong and fast. Out of breath, he managed to comprehend one fact:
“They’ll find me.” It had happened every time. Every single time Duncan had escaped, he had always been found. It was impossible to hide. Or so they said. Duncan had heard about the affair at Chris’s, but it had served no use to him. Until now. All he needed was a costume. “OMG Sadie! Did you hear?” A tan girl with black hair, Katie, was frantically pointing to a brochure she had found on the street. “Katie! OMG that costume thingy looks sooooo much fun!” A pale, plump girl, Sadie exclaimed. “I know! And we’re going together! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!” The pair leaped up and down in excitement. Three nerdy young men were looking at the same brochure.
“This seems cool, Harold! It’d be a perfect place to attract the ladies!”
“Yeah, good idea, Cody! And I’d get to show off my mad skills!” The remaining nerd leaned in closer to his book. Cody stared at him. “You wanna come, Noah?”
“Come on!” Harold whined.
“Well…” Cody thought out loud. “If we can’t convince you to go, we’ll just have to make you!” Harold and Cody dove on top of Noah, pinning him down as they cut out a costume.
Noah took his head in his hands and exclaimed, "Anything but the flower pot!"
“Sorry, but we’re running out of fabric! You’re going as a flower pot!” Harold explained.
An extremely fat boy, Owen, was eating his daily whopper when the brochure fell out between the buns. Eager, he began to read. ‘A party! AWESOME! WOO-HOO!” The cheer is loud enough for everyone in Burger King to hear. Several others came over to look.
“Whoa, eh!” Ezekiel, a boy with brown hair and a teal hat exclaimed. “Sound cool!”
“I hear you, Ed!” Lindsay, a blonde who’s as dumb as a post, agreed.
“Can we come, white boy?” Leshawna, a street smart African American girl asked.
“Sure!” Owen replied. “You’re my buddies!”
5 days later, everybody was all walking up to the same, incredibly huge manor. As the door scraped open, they were greeted by the one, the only, Chris McClean, wearing a ravishing tuxedo.
“Welcome all! Of course, I had no doubt that you would come.” He straightened his bow tie. “Come in!” Chris was overrun by teenagers in costumes of every shape and size. Noah tries to sneak in unnoticed in his flowerpot costume. Heather reluctantly walks in as a canary. Duncan ambled in in a DJ outfit. Cody and Harold proudly walk in as ninjas. Owen stumbles in as a giant chicken lawyer. Lindsay struts around in her nail-polish bottle attire. Ezekiel couldn’t find a costume, so he stuck a Montreal Canadians hat on his head in a poor attempt to make it seem like he’s a hockey player. Leshawna dressed up as Chuck Norris. Katie and Sadie have dressed as twin rappers.
Once everybody has made their way to the living room, chat began. Owen walked over to Cody. “Hey, Cody! I’m a chicken! I also double as a lawyer!” He randomly pulled a briefcase out of his back pocket. “Wanna see my impression?”
“OK!” Owen pauses. "This is totally not fair!!!" Owen screamed, flailing his arms. "I'll sue all of you! I'll sue you, and you, and you, and ESPECIALLY you!!!" Owen takes a bow as Cody claps. Meanwhile, Harold walks over to Duncan.
“Can I have my kunai knife back?”
“What? I don’t speak ninja geek. Too bad, Harold.” Duncan chucks the knife he is holding at a nearby window, sending it crashing through. An off-screen old lady screams.
“MY EYE!!!” Noah paused the video he was watching to look. Seeing nothing, he pressed play.
“HA!: He laughed. “This “Mother Wishes She Was a Bird” video is totally better than my book report!” In 5 minutes, nearly everybody is crowded around the screen, howling, except for Leshawna and Heather. Heather is plotting her rule of Europe, while Leshawna is nowhere to be found. Suddenly, Sadie stands up, and runs towards the lavatory. Katie follows. However, once they reach the outhouse, (Chris had all of his own bathrooms off limits) someone else is already in there. Sadie walked to the left, kicked the outhouse, and heard someone inside shout, "What do you think you're doing?!" Katie shrieks.
“A GHOST TOILET! RRUNNN!!!!!!!!!” Sadie quickly goes in a bush, and the two dashed back inside, just as Leshawna stepped out. “What?” Back inside, Chris had started the contest.
“All right! As you all know, I’m holding the contest for best costume! But first…I wanna humiliate you! I’m gonna turn out the lights, and everybody’s gonna switch costumes! You start…” Chris walked over to the light switch. “NOW!”
The room went dark, and several outbursts were heard. Apparently Owen had approached a certain blonde girl. "It's the chicken man!!!" Lindsay wailed, cowering in fear behind the couch. Someone had walked over to Sadie in an attempt to flirt.
Ezekiel gently whispered, "I always knew you were the one for me, eh."
“AHHH!!!! IT’S THE GHOST TOILET!!!” Sadie ran into Cody, which caused him to bump into Duncan. Duncan dropped his records. The disks rolled over to Leshawna, who had just entered the room. An extremely loud crashing noise drowned out the rest of the shrieks. The lights flickered back on. No one looked like they did before. A boy walks over to a piece of glass.
Cody looked into the mirror and said, "Why do I look like so much like Chris McClean?"
“Oh yeah, I left some of my clothes lying around here.” Suddenly, Leshawna walked up to Chris, angry.
“What the heck was that for?” Everybody gasps. Harold stared blankly at it for a moment, then screamed,
"IT'S GONNA KILL US ALL!!!" Leshawna looked in a mirror, and gasped.
“Oh crap! My makeup!” She had wrinkles all over her face. Leshawna looked nervous and said, "I really am sixteen, I swear."
"Usually, I'd be laughing at something like this," Duncan admitted, "But right now, it just seems wrong..."
“Alright! Stop with all the chatter! I shall now announce the winner! It is…” A drumroll built up to a crescendo. “Cody! For an amazingly handsome costume!” Cody squealed, and ran up to Chris.
“Can I have my prize?”
“Didn’t you say that the winner could get whatever they wanted?” Cody paused. “Except cash?”
Oh, that. I lied.” Everybody protests. Duncan chucked a rock at Chris. Harold tackled the liar. Pretty soon, everybody joined in. By nine o’ clock, Chris had been mauled in every shape and form. “Jeez!” Chris yelled as he continued to be pounded. “Watch the face!”
Before you read the plot may be so strange and mixed up that you’ll go nuts and please don’t try any of the stuff you see here that involve stunts and fighting at home. Seriously, you’ll get really messed up.
The entire TDI cast was having a party at Owens house. Everyone was having a good time like they were watching movies, eating snacks, and having a good chat.
“Hi everyone!” exclaimed Owen in a chicken suit as he started doing the chicken dance.
“Ahh! It’s the chicken man!!!” Lindsay wailed, cowering in fear behind the couch.
“I thought it was Tyler who was scared of chickens?” asked Duncan.
Tyler wails as well and cowers in fear behind the couch.
“Are you Tyler?” asked Lindsay.
Harold and LeShawna are eating snacks together.
“LeShawna. I don’t know how old you are. I just can’t remember.” said Harold.
“I’m sixteen.” replied LeShawna.
“Really? You look more like you’re eighteen.” said Harold.
LeShawna looked nervous and said, “I really am sixteen, I swear.”
“Hm. I’m confused.” said Harold.
Owen starts to look around.
“Where’s Heather?” he asked.
“She’s having trouble at home getting a costume for the contest later.” said Duncan.
At Heather’s house, she was arguing with her mom about a costume.
“This costume is bad mother! I wanted to be a witch for the contest.” shouted Heather holding a kitten costume.
“Why don’t you want to be a kitten?” asked Heathers mom.
“It’s because it’s stupid!” Heather exclaimed.
“I’d wish I would go to your friend’s party. I wish I was a bird for the party.” said Heathers mom.
“What did you say mom?” asked Heather.
Heather’s mom stood up and repeated, “I wish I were a bird?”
“You’re acting a little strange mom.” said Heather.
“I’m fine.” replied Heather’s mom.
Heather arrives at the party just in time for the contest. Nobody knew she was dressed up as a cat. Owen had just finished with the contest with his chicken costume.
“And the next person to show their costume is Heather!” said Chris.
Everyone starts to cheer until Heather gets onto the stage. Harold stared blankly at her for a moment, and then screamed, “IT’S GONNA KILL US ALL!!!” Everyone starts laughing.
“Who are you laughing at?! Me or Harold?!” asked Heather who was very mad.
“I guess both of you.” said Chris chuckling.
Heather then rips off her kitty costume and grabs a phone. Heather’s mom hears her phone ringing and answers it.
“Hello?” she asked.
“I DID NOT LIKE MY COSTUME ONE BIT!” shouted Heather on the phone.
Heathers mom hangs up. Heather then slams the phone so hard that the phone broke.
“I think she’s going to leave.” said Duncan.
“Who invited her anyway?” asked Owen.
“I don’t know.” replied Duncan.
“Dudes. I think we got a problem.” said Geoff.
Heather had gotten so mad that she was trashing the place. Noah then took his head in his hands and exclaimed, “Anything but the flower pot!” Heather then smashes the flower pot and Noah screams “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Later, Heather had gotten tied up and thrown into the closet. Noah got the flower pot taped up while crying.
“Wimp.” said Duncan.
“Hey. Where’d Owen go?” asked Harold.
“I don’t know.” said Geoff.
Owen had to use the bathroom but both were taken so he went to use the outhouse that Chris had out back. Sadie then walks over to the outhouse a little bit after Owen had. She then heard a noise in it.
“Who’s in there?” she asked.
Sadie then walked to the left, kicked the outhouse, and heard someone inside shout, “What do you think you’re doing?!” The voice didn’t sound like Owen. Who was inside the outhouse was not Owen, but Courtney.
“Sorry Courtney.” said Sadie.
Courtney then attacks Sadie. Duncan and Owen look at what’s happening.
“This plot is just not making any sense. First a party, a contest, Heather going mad and now Courtney gets angry.” said Duncan confused.
“Should I get the The End card?” asked Owen.
“No not yet. Chris and Cody are talking to each other.” replied Duncan.
“You know Cody. You can almost be my son. You look just like me.” said Chris to Cody.
“Wha?” asked Cody.
“It’s just a joke.” said Chris.
Cody walks off to Harold.
“You do look like Chris a little.” said Harold.
Cody looked into the mirror and said, "Why do I look like so much like Chris McClean?"
“I don’t know. Maybe it’s the hair.” said Harold.
Cody just looks confused.
“Okay. I’m tired of the random plot. Let’s put the The End card up.” said Duncan as he put a card to the screen that said The End.
“Hey. Do you want to get pizza?” asked Owen.
“Sure.” said Duncan.