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The Useronculous Race

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Cast

  • Tyler & Dylan - Students 
  • Welly & Kai - Jocks
  • Lynn & Amber - Sisters
  • Dianted & TF - Best Friends
  • Jordan & Wendy - Daters
  • Bulba & Gogo - Sweethearts 
  • Noah & Izzy - Survivor Fans
  • Ryan & Blake - Social Justice Warriors
  • Milk & VUF - Smartasses
  • Mirnish & Derpy - Populars
  • Spirit & Aqua - Instagrammers
  • Solar & Chwiis - Aussies
  • RJ & Fiz - Sucksters
  • Heo & X - Republicans 
  • Maria & Finn - Foreigners 
  • Cabbage & Berry - Writers
  • Eve & Liam - Fantendo Users
  • N3 & TDN - Admins
  • NLG & Darules - Godplayers
  • Epic & CB - Analysts

Episode 1: None Down, Twenty To Go Pt. 1

  • Surfer: Hii! Welcome viewing audience! 40 users in pairs of 2 are fighting for one million dollars. The rest is pretty obvious! The first pair is... THE REPUBLICANS!
  • -The Republicans-
  • X: I hate everyone who's not CIS White and MALE! 
  • Heo: I'm not republican. But I'm a loyal christain and I can't stand gay putas who don't understand that they are not NATURAL and need to be fixed!
  • X: So true. We're here to fund to campaign for OUR pick for President 2016.
  • Heo: Donald Trump. <3
  • X: He's amazing. But not in a sexual way.
  • Heo: That'd be sinful.
  • --
  • Surfer: Next are 2 people who love to post gay nudes on a Survivor fan forum called SURVIVOR SUCKS.
  • -The Sucksters-
  • RJ: Hi. I want Clay in me.
  • Fiz: Sam3 us wnat JOE AGLIM in or aeses
  • RJ: Yeah. We want to win this race cause like DUH. We want to be on Survivor. And if we win, we'll like win Survivor together and like make all of our Sucks friend proud! 
  • Fiz: yses gud idead
  • --
  • Surfer: The next team are twin sisters AMBER AND LYNN. They are super hot and stuff.
  • -The Sisters-
  • Lynn: I'm like really hot. Plus you didn't wanted to know why, but I'd also be very smarter. 
  • Amber: *applying lipstick*
  • Lynn: Were barbies. 
  • Amber: I wanna sing, I wanna dance and I wanna be myself! Anyway we are gonna win! How wonderful is this? *giggles*
  • Lynn: *sings* Beginning with the feeling I will win, be the main antagonist or the sweetest thing. Getting all the votes against your enemy, or losing your best friend you didn't wanted to see. Let's hoping for win this and starting this dance, with on the end maybe a new change! *ends singing*
  • Amber: Yes.
  • --
  • Surfer: Next are two commited tumblr Social Justice Warrior's. They hate white people and aren't STRAIGHT!
  • -The Social Justice Warrior's-
  • Ryan: I'm also King Bee AND admin at Total Drama wiki. My daddy is about to buy tumblr SO... yeah. I'm pretty much the best thing ever.
  • Blake: Yeah, He's gay and I am
  • A
  • S
  • E
  • X
  • U
  • A
  • L
  • Ryan: As long as he's LGBT he's great. All TD chars are gay BTW.
  • Blake: *nods fast* We're also amazing RPers.
  • Ryan: TRUTH. Anyway we're winning so. Yeah. I want 1st since I'm King Bee.
  • Blake: Yeah like he is, Ryan. <3
  • --
  • Surfer: Our next team is a pair of two Admins.
  • -The Admins-
  • TDN: Hi. I came cause without my guidance N3 would be DOOMED!
  • N3: Yeah. But we're so gonna win this!
  • TDN: *nods* No kidding. We're so slaying this. 
  • N3: Yeah!
  • --
  • Surfer: Next are two diehard Survivor Fans. 
  • -Survivor Fans-
  • Izzy: Me and Noah love Survivor, and we're totes gonna be on it, and I'm gonna relive i.conic h.ot Angie Jakusz! Goddness. 
  • Noah: I love Thomas the Tank Engline.
  • Izzy: Ok... but anyways. I signed up with Noah cause there was like... no other person who'd sign up with me in my school! My friend is bi BTW. 
  • Noah: I am straight.
  • Izzy: Ok but I'm talking right now. Anyways, so I asked Noah and here we are Survivor Fans! We're gonna take home the gold, root for us!
  • --
  • Surfer: Next are two "students". They aren't even students. They were just last minute alts but..., hopefully they don't make us lose too much viewers.
  • -Students-
  • Ghost: Why are we called the Students? We aren't Students.
  • Tyler: Hi mom! Hi dad! Have fun at church! *takes out bible* I have to do my hourly devotions. 
  • Ghost: I don't know this kid but... he's really bland and annoying.
  • Tyler: *gasps* Jesus is ashamed of you right now! >:(
  • Ghost: Whatever. I want money so, let's do this.
  • Tyler: I love Pizza.
  • Ghost: And I thought you couldn't get more basic.
  • --
  • Surfer: Next are two annoying smartasses. Who think they know everything.
  • -Smartasses-
  • Milk: We know everything.
  • VUF: Yass. I hate bitches. I hate all bitches in TD too. Except Heather. 
  • Milk: Shut up. I am a hillbilly and I KNOW my way around! 
  • VUF: He's a racist and a homophobe. M e s s y.
  • Milk: Shut up. I want to win money to move out of Louisiana.
  • VUF: I want to win cause I have to show everyone how to win and not be a messy bish.
  • Milk: Shut up. Anyways, I can't wait to win and move out of my shitty hometown, the only thing I'll miss is Fat Jenn!
  • VUF: You are so messy.
  • Milk: I said shut up. 

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