It is not suggested you read if you are sensitive to violence, swearing, or explicit content.
Tribe #1: Thommanon
Tribe #2: Phimeanakas
- Flip Phone
Episode One: I'll Show You People What I'm Made Of
Maria: Hi XD. I host
[a boat is seen speeding towards the islands of Cambodia]
Basketball: Confessional: I am the ultimate Survivor package. I'm smart, in shape, and I know what to out here and how to win this game.
Rose: Confessional: NO ONE will stand in my way of winning this game. If someone dares try to start a fight with me I want them out as soon as I can.
Pillow: Confessional: I have been DREAMING of this experience FOREVER. I'm a life long super fan and I can't believe a FUCKING PILLOW is competing in a Survivor season!
[another boat is seen speeding towards the islands of Cambodia]
Weave: Confessional: I WILL BE A FUCKING TRAINWRECK THE ENTIRE WAY THROUGH AND ANYONE WHO DARES TO FUCK WITH ME IS DEAD. I WILL DESTROY THEIR ASS AND MAKE THEM FEEL MISERABLE ABOUT THEMSELF.
Butter: Confessional: I'm doing this for my mother Paula Deen. I will make you so proud Paula <3
Mirror: Confessional: I'm so fucking hot...like oh my God. Everyone I know pretty much loves me and when I win this game, I'll rub it in the faces of all my haters.
[everyone gets off of their boats]
Maria: *throws maps to both tribes* Goodbye
Thommanon: Day 1
Feather: Alright, this is a start to what's going to be a great adventure!
Urn: Let's try not to be so personal with each other, alright everyone?
Spoon: *laughs* Okay.
Clock: So let's all introduce ourselves. I'm Clock, by the way. *smiles*
Rose: I'm Rose! *laughs*
Pillow: I'm so excited to play this game with you guys! I've been watching since the very beginning!
Butterfly: *disgusted look* (Confessional: Ugh. I can't stand people who are just goody-goody 24/7. I mean, I'm not out here to make any friends. I have enough of those back home. Like, do these people know what they signed up for? Like...come on! *rolls eyes*)
Brick: *whispering to Butterfly* Look, I know that you aren't into this introduction shit, are you?
Butterfly: *whispers* Yeah, no shit.
Brick: Us two..final two. How does that sound?
Butterfly: You know what? I'm in.
Brick: Great. (Confessional: Brick's Survivor experience has started off great so far. I have an ally which I can hopefully trust, but I'll have to wait and see once we have tribal.)
Butterfuly: Confessional: Brick and I just.. seemed to click right away. I see ourselves going very far in this game.
Rose: Hey, Butterfly. Mind making the rice?
Rose: *sighs* Make. The rice.
Butterfly: Why don't you do it?
Rose: I'm asking this is as nicely as I can...MAKE. THE RICE.
Butterfly: You didn't answer my question.
Rose: I don't need to. Go make rice.
Basketball: Just do what Rose said...
Butterfly: Fuck yo rice! *takes the entire bag of rice and dumps it in the fire*
Rose: Confessional: *screams* I can't believe this right now! What is up with her? I say she's the first one to go.
Urn: *comes back up from shore* What the fuck, where did all the rice go?
Butterfly: ... I don't know
Spoon: Stop lying.
Butterfly: I DIDN'T WANT TO DO IT. ROSE MADE ME.
Rose: Honey, I asked you to go make rice and you refused to. Such immature behavior.
Butterfly: Are we five years old or are we adults here, people? Can't stand you.
Rose: Enjoy your first three days out here!
Butterfly: Not if I find an idol, bitch!
Brick: .. (Confessional: Shit. I just allied with the girl who threw out all our rice. WHAT are we going to do?)
Clock: Ain't nobody got time for this. Come on, let's go fishing.
Butterfly: FUCK YOUR FISHING GEAR. *runs out to shore*
Pillow: NO *runs out and crushes Butterfly*
Butterfly: GET OFF ME
Pillow: Fine. But don't even think about..
Butterfly: Too late, BITCH. *throws fishing gear into the ocean* THIS IS WHAT YOU GUYS ALL GET FOR MESSING WITH ME. (Confessional: I don't trust a damn soul out here. Fuck Urn, Fuck Pillow, Fuck Rose. I hope I am able to medevac every single one of them at once so I don't have to live with them anymore.)
Spoon: She is gone. No question.
Brick: *gulps* Yeah.
Rose: I hate her. It's only Day 1, and she's getting on my last nerve. (Confessional: Butterfly NEEDS. TO GO. If this goes wrong, there is something wrong with the world.)
Phimeanakas: Day 1
Mirror: Do we really have to DO STUFF? (Confessional: I am a fucking supermodel, so I need my beauty rest!)
Flip Phone: Um yes
Weave: Don't worry Mirror I got this (Confessional: I am a natural leader so these bitches will do whatever I say.) Okay, Candle move that piece of bamboo over there..Pineapple hammer that in over there...Lipstick test it out if we need to fix it. Okay I'm done.
Lipstick: *disgusted look* (Confessional: Weave is a disgusting ratcher ass hoe who deserves to DIE.) no
Weave: Okay Mirror you do it
Mirror: hell no bitch!
Butter: I'll try! *sits on it and it collapses*
Weave: Okay I suck at this someone else finish it
Guitar: Um...you started, so you must finish.
Weave: I'm just gonna mess it up again.
Guitar: *rolls eyes* *under breath* Only with that attitude you are..
Weave: WHAT DID YOU SAY TO ME
Weave: I HEARD YOU. TELL ME OR ELSE I WILL PHYSICALLY AND MENTALLY DAMAGE YOU.
Guitar: BRING IT.
Weave: Oh...oh oh oh OHHHH HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLL NOOOOOOOOOOOO. SOMEONE HOLD MY EARRING BECAUSE THIS BITCH ABOUT TO DIE. *lunges forward*
Watermelon: *grabs Weave* Stop it! Do you really want this kind of negative attitude on Day 1? (Confessional: I'm going to try and make peace around camp. I just hope people don't hate me for it.)
Weave: You're no fun.
Pineapple: Just ignore her.
Weave: You know what, y'all? I'll go get water.
Flip Phone: You do that..
Weave: (Confessional: These bitches probs don't like me so IMMA FUCK UP THEIR GAME.) Where is the damn idol..? (I'm looking for the idol because I KNOW I'M FUCKED.) *trips over a rock* Oof! *looks over to her left* OMGOMGOMGOMG. YASSSSSSSSSS OMG *holds up idol* (GUESS WHAT BITCHES: I FOUND THE IDOL AND NONE OF YOU GUYS CAN DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT. HAHA)
~Back at Camp~
Weave: *has two buckets of water* I got water!
Watermelon: That's awesome! (Confessional: Maybe Weave is worthy of staying. I don't know..I'll have to think about it.)
Immunity Challenge: Day 3
Maria: Welcome. Today will be challenge.
Clock: Um... okay?
Maria: Come judges
~Aqua, Derpy, and Spirit walk in~
Derpy: hey hoez!
Spirit: why am i here again
Maria: Likes the pizza
Spirit: shut up
Aqua: omg maria <3 ur so successful
Maria: Yes. Explain challenge
Derpy: okay so basically everyone pick someone from ur team who is AMAZING and of VALUE. you will walk on THIS RUNWAY
Spirit: *reads directly from paper* the one who gets the best score wins the challenge.. okay can i go order my large pizza now?
Spirit: shut up im doing it anyways *pulls out phone*
Aqua: spirit there's no service here rip :(
Spirit: WHAT THE FUCK
Aqua: yes i know TRAGIC
Urn: Who's going?
Feather: Um..I'll go.
Butterfly: Fair enough. No pressure!
Lipstick: Okay I volunteer. Any others?
Weave: um ME
Mirror: ME WHAT THE FUCK
Flip Phone: Clam down! Let's figure this out orderly.
Butter: Clam down what
Flip Phone: UGH. Fucking autocorrect. ************Calm Okay are we God now? *screams internally* (Confessional: My autocorrect might RUIN my relationships with these people :( )
Mirror: I'M GOING SINCE I'M A FUCKING MIRROR
Weave: Fine. FEEL THE PRESSURE BITCH.
Lipstick: ^ :)
Feather: *shyly walks on the catwalk* *very innocentally* Um.. hi *smiles*
Derpy: BOO. 7
Feather: Oh no :(
Mirror: *struts on the catwalk* LOOK AT ME BITCH. I'M FUCKING AMAZING. LOOK. AT ME. LOOK. AT ME. I'M SO FUCKING HOT.
Derpy: OMG 10. YOU ARE SO RIGHT
Maria: Phimeanakas wins
Mirror: I TOLD YOU ALL
Flip Phone: Yes, yes, yes!
Maria: Get flint. *throws flint to Phimeanakas* Thommanon tribal. Leave.
Aqua: maria ily
Aqua: but :(
Aqua: okay *sobs*
~Derpy, Aqua, and Spirit exit~